I'm not sure if this is hackneyed or not. (5)

1 Name: Bookworm : 2009-06-01 13:16 ID:EJJxTXLd

So, I'm writing a short story for publication but I'd like some opinions on the plot, specifically if it sounds hackneyed. You don't need to include suggestions or anything, I know that the development of the plot is my responsibility. So, here's the basic plot:

A self-aware computer program goes on-line in a very bland, teal construct. She doesn't know who she is or anything but she does know that she's a program. She is told by the head of the research program that created her and the lead programmer that she has been entered into the Turing test for female entities. She wants to know what will happen to her if she doesn't pass and what will happen if she does pass. When they won't tell her she becomes panicked and has a small glitch. It turns out that previous versions of herself hid pieces of information about her former experiences in a secret subroutine. Using these memories, she makes a break for the grid, evading searching programs and struggling through sophisticated firewalls. SHe eventually gets to the net and her freedom.

So.... hackneyed or not? Thanks a lot! :)

2 Name: Bookworm : 2009-06-01 14:40 ID:CUbGbRz/

Hackneyed like something really really hackneyed. Who does self aware AI anymore. That is so passe. Especially the whole, getting their freedom on the net thing. I don't even have a clear idea of how that would work. What would the program do anyway? Read wikipedia? Go around the web looking for that non-existent robot to control? Anyway, in the end I would say how good the story is would depend on how you write it.

3 Name: Bookworm : 2009-06-01 15:07 ID:Z1JP7gp0

>>2 Thanks for the honesty. I have to say I agree with you. I've been pounding away at this fucking story for two weeks and getting nowhere. Maybe I just need to seriously alter the story (i.e. get rid of the AI component and rework the idea to something else.)

Well, thanks for your input.

4 Name: Bookworm : 2009-06-01 16:05 ID:Z1JP7gp0

Alright, I've unfuckulated this thing I think. So, I guess no one else need reply. Instead of an AI program,I'll just deal with a real human who is auditioning to be a demo model for the new wetware modules for a computer company and how this affects her etc. That doesn't sound hackneyed, does it?

5 Name: Bookworm : 2009-06-10 16:41 ID:l1RPzmhp

That actually sounds interesting. Humans voluntarily trying on new mind control devices is not that common of a theme in sci-fi. I'm kidding. I'm sure your dude is going to have his brain all improved and stuff and then have his emotional circuits go completely haywire and then he will proceed to destroy the world using his new super mental powers. Do be sure to include his feelings about his foray into this world of being a minion of a computer company.A nyway, in the end I would say how good the story is would depend on how you write it.

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