I met Stallman on my vacation in Los Angeles (12)

1 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2020-01-25 04:01 ID:RI5se2tf This thread was merged from the former /code/ board. You can view the archive here.

>I saw RMS in a store in Los Angeles during my vacation

>I told him how great it was to meet him in person
>but I didn't want to bother him and ask him for a picture
>"I'd just like to interject for a moment"
>that took me by surprise and I could only say "huh?"
>that's when I realized he wasn't buying
>he was camping and had his sleeping bag in a corner
>"I'd just like to interject for a moment"
>he had recently woken up and was looking for water to wash his beard with
>"I'd just like to interject for a moment"
>followed him to his sleeping bag where he pulled a needle from his hobo bag
>"I'd just like to interject for a moment"
>I asked him if it's true that he's a pedophile and that Epstein financed him
>"I'd just like to interject for a moment"
>I told him that my daughter who's 11 yo loves Linux and wants to be like him when she grows up
>"I'd just like to interject for a moment"
>oh, excuse me sir, I meant GNU/Linux
>I asked him if he wanted to say hello to her for her birthday
>"I'd just like to interject for a moment"
>I take him to the apartment where we're staying
>my daughter is delighted
>Her smile disappears when Stallman approaches her
>Smash Mouth's "All Star" starts playing
>"I'd just like to erect for a moment"
>pulls down his pants
>an onion smell fills the room
>My daughter screams and tries to escape but RMS grabs her and starts fucking her mouth
>I start screaming and trying to get him off but he pushes me away effortlessly
>RMS roars
>"I'd just like to eject for a moment"
>16 liters of smelly semen fill her mouth
>his stomach explodes because too much semen
>the room is filled with pink liquid: his guts (red) mixed with semen (white)
>falls to one side and stops moving
>I'm crying in a corner
>RMS opens his librebooted ThinkPad T400s and Trisquel starts
>opens an offline copy of How to Install Linux on a Dead Badger
>puts the end of a USB cable up my dead daughter's nose
>"I'd just like to resurrect for a moment"
>I try to kick RMS out using a broom
>breaks the broom easily with his enormous belly
>without any more resources, I try to convince him to leave the apartment by lying to him that I have an Amazon Echo
>he runs away scared and disgusted shouting "I'd just like to protect myself for a moment"
>Put my daughter's body against my chest, cursing God and the universe
>I see a message written in blood on the bathroom mirror
>"it's all over now"
>I pick up a toenail that RMS left
>I remove all the poisonous mushrooms growing on it
>I hold it close to my throat
>I cut it off
>blood isn't coming out fast enough
>I hear the gentle voice of RMS in the distance
>"I'd just like to infect for a moment"
>I smile as the mold of his foot enters my bloodstream
>I see RMS and my daughter in heaven
>she holds his hand
>I try to reach her
>RMS stops me and tells me to say goodbye to each of them separately to "avoid any electronic inference" and winks
>I don't think that's even a word
>I hold my daughter's hand and try to get her away from him
>RMS keeps interrupting me by yawning loudly
>a hole opens in the clouds under my feet and I fall into hell
>I make this thread from beyond the grave
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