... and I farted.
Yesterday I went to Yoshinoya and picked up a couple hot chicks. Ha ha I bet none of you nerdfag weeaboos have the guts to do that.
`S(''} UNDERSTAND UNDERSTAND, UNDERSTAND UNDERSTAND, UNDERSTAND UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT, THE CONCEPT OF LOVE! UNH!
Yesterday I wanted to go to Yoshinoya, which is the most famous beaf bowl chain in Japan.
I was googling and googling it for hours without any results.
Then, I happened to read a forum post that said, "B Qyy ~u Fy~y".
Are the Yoshinoya managers fool or crazy?
Hey you, fake sushi lovers, donLt scare off japanese food companies!
yoshi no ya
Yesterday I went to the Yoshinoya. There was a 'vote for Ron Paul' poster. What are they stupid? Obama has already won. More than that we were not even in USA.
Yesterday I went to work at Yoshinoya and some jackass thought it would be funny to order a beef bowl by repeating the Yoshinoya rant, so I put a fist full of my pubes in his lunch.
He ate it all too, the stupid prick.
yesterday I shat in the Yoshinoya public toilet because that beefbowl gave me the shits.
Yesterday I shat in some guys beefbowl because he looked like he was taking the "150 yen off" special way too seriously. Yeah, it's only 150 yen. What are you, a fucking "Yoshinoya veteran"?!
Yesterday I bumped a Yoshinoya thread because I was bored. Then I watched Macademi Wasshoi.
>>209
I also liked Macademi Wasshoi, and I also bumped this Yoshinoya thread
Is this the oldest non-archived thread on DQN?
The first few posts are from seven years in the future!
I miss lolocaust. ;_;
( ά-ά) I ordered extra sauce.
Yesterday I went to Yoshinoya.... Oh forget it.
>>220
I reached into my pocket to see if I could afford extra sauce, but my wallet was gone! I had to retrace my steps all the way to the Manga café where I'd spent the previous night reflecting on what a disgusting grandma my beloved Nanoha-tan had grown up to become before I finally found it again. Upon opening the coin pouch, however, all I found was an IOU for 500, with a masterful rendition of a Yukkuri head drawn upon it. You can probably imagine my frustration.
>>221 ah man that sucks, but even if you did have money you wouldn't have got a seat. I found some girl's coin purse (I assume it was a girl's) and there was 500 in it, so I took it (I left her an IOU with a cute little doodle to cheer her up when she finds her money gone) and went to Yoshinoya as a treat. But when I got there there was an insane number of people there, and I couldn't get in.
>>222 Yesterday I went to Yoshinoya, and the thing I experienced was so terrible, my memory erased itself.
Yesterday I went to DOS burger
And to my surprise I saw no sign of any Pata-pi.
Today I was not raped by a bear.
Actually, I've never even heard of Yoshinoya
It's a noodle joint. I hear the beef bowl is pretty good.
Yoshinoya is good, but Super Dragon is better.
yesterday I went to yoshinoya. When I peed in the urinal, some sicko looked over the divider.
so
So yesterday I went to Kinokuniya and looked at the CDs in the music section but they all cost way too much so I went home after buying a box of Pocky.
So yesterday this asshole came into my store. He kept browsing the CDs in the music section and sighing. They were 150 yen off, for fuck's sake. How cheap can you get? He bought a box of Pocky and left. What he doesn't know is I crammed a banana up his tailpipe.
So yesterday, I parked at Kinokuniya and grabbed a hotdog from a street ven
dor. When I got back, it seems my car was robbed and there was a banana in my tailpipe. Not only were my anime CDs taken, no! Now I have to fix my car, too. Fucking great. Did he really need to take my bargain bin anime CDs? Why the hell did he stick a banana in there? I'd like to interrogate the guy that did this for roughly an hour.
So yesterday this guy comes up to me all breathless and nervous looking and starts blabbering to me about how he broke into this guys car, took this guys CDs and shoved a banana in his tail pipe. Only it was the wrong guys car- OH NOES- so now he's being a paranoid pussy about being caught and is looking to get rid of the evidence. I took them off his hands, because that's what I do, but seriously, who the fuck freaks out over having stolen CDs? They're only worth about 150 yen, for fucks sake.
>>234 never owned a car in the first place. He spends all his money on anime shit.
Yoshinoya was pretty much empty yesterday; so I was able to eat my extra-large, with extra sauce in peace without feeling like I was being judged.
I told my friend that Yoshinoya was really empty because i want him to turn into a fatass. He actually went there and bought an extra-large with extra sauce and thought he wouldn't be judged.
age
Yesterday I went to Yoshinoya.
I then suddenly became the prince of a town called Bel-Air.
I read >>244s post and became so angry I didn't even bother to interrogate him for roughly an hour; I immediately punched him as hard as I could in the face.
In doing so I broke his nose and sent bone fragments into his brain, instantly killing him. Now I have a corpse that I must drag over to Yoshinoyas. Tomorrows "beef" bowl should be cheap, at least.
i like extra sauce
>>244, are the green onions made of people too?
That's what you're getting at right?
I just figured out what bugs me about this thread's inspiration.
I have a hard time believing there are noodle shop hipsters, even in Japan.
So, I'm in China.
There are several Yoshinoya restaurants about Shanghai.
If there are any dokyun here in China presently, we must meet and enjoy some extra gravy in our large bowl.
I'll be here until next summer.
Anyways, >>250, please listen to me. That it's really related to this thread.
I went to DQN a while ago; you know, DQN?
Well anyways there was an insane number of people posting, and I couldn't refresh my captcha.
Then, I looked at the banner hanging from the ceiling, and it had "150 yen off" written on it.
Oh, the stupidity. Those DQNs.
You, don't come to DQN just because it's 150 yen off, fool.
It's only 150 yen, 1-5-0 YEN for crying out loud.
There're even entire families here. Family of 4, all out for some emergency mittens, huh? How fucking nice.
"Alright, daddy's gonna post in the Fatpa thread." God I can't bear to watch.
You people, I'll give you 150 yen if you get out of those seats.
DQN should be a surreal place.
That dense atmosphere, where two guys on opposite sides of the U-shaped thread can carry out and be w at any time,
the previous-poster-is-a-panda mentality, that's what's great about this place.
Women and children should screw off and stay home.
Anyways, I was about to start eating, and then the bastard beside me goes "extra-random, with extra mittens."
Who in the world orders extra mittens nowadays, you moron? Other than Mitten Girl, I mean?
I want to ask him, "do you REALLY want to read it with extra mittens?"
I want to interrogate him. I want to interrogate him for roughly an hour.
Are you sure you don't just want to try saying "mittens"?
Coming from a DQN veteran such as myself, the latest trend among us vets is this, extra Rei.
That's right, extra Rei. This is the vet's way of eating.
Extra Rei means more Rei than Shii. But on the other hand the price is a tad higher. This is the key.
And then, it's delicious. This is unbeatable.
However, if you order this then there is danger that you'll be marked by the other posters from next time on; it's a double-edged sword.
I can't recommend it to amateurs.
What this all really means, though, is that you, >>250, should just stick with releasing the emergency mittens.
Holy shit, 15 RMB? I feel like going there just because of that, and I don't care if it makes someone want to interrogate me for roughly an hour.
Yesterday I went to Yoshinoya. My daughter, being both a woman and a child, screwed off and stayed home.
Still in Shanghai. I've located Yoshinoya and will be taking some pictures. Any requests?
>>258
Ask for extra sauce. When an enraged salaryman leaps over the table to interrogate you for roughly an hour, take a picture of his face and post it online for all of us to see.
Whatever, >>655095, just hear me out, okay? It's not really related to this thread, but hear me out anyways.
I went to General Tso's the other day. Yeah, you heard me, General Tso's .
Well, the place wasn't totally crammed full of hipsters and I could at last find a seat.
So I look around and there's some stupid wigger announcing how "hardcore" he is with a 汉 tattoo and asking for extra duck sauce.
What the hell was he thinking?
Don't come to General Tso's for the sake of showing how tough you are, you idiots.
A forearm tattoo and extra duck sauce, for crying out loud...
There's even a whole group of niggers over there. All out for some General Tsao's , huh? Fucking great.
"Okay, Crystal's gonna order the extra-large!" God, it's pathetic.
I'll give you $1.5 to get out of that damn seat.
General Tsao's should be a genteel place.
That refined atmosphere, where the guy on the other side of the U-shaped table would share a witty quip soon as look at ya.
That smile-or-be-smiled at mentality, that's what's great about this place.
Wiggers and niggers can bugger off home.
Anyways, I was finally about to start eating, and then the bastard beside me goes "I need like a LOT of duck sauce. I will pay you extra or whatever but I need, like a lot." "
...who in the world orders extra sauce nowadays, you moron?
I want to ask him, "do you REALLY want to eat it with extra sauce?"
I'd interrogate him for a goddamn hour if that's what it takes.
Are you sure you didn't just want to try saying "extra duck sauce"?
Coming from a General Tso's veteran like me, the latest trend is this: extra green onion.
That's right, extra green onion. And an egg. That's how the pros eat.
Extra green onion means you get a little less chicken, and a lot more onion. It's a bit more expensive, I'll grant you.
But then, it's delicious. This is unbeatable.
However, if you order this then you'll stick out, and next time the employees might recognize you and add you to their list.
The inexperienced need not apply.
Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say... is that you, >>655095, should just stick with today's special.
i@MnLj You seem like the type who would fit in well at my garden party, >>260
i@MnLj I would like you to know that you are still invited in the--at this point, most plausible--case that your invitation has been lost at the hands of one of my minor nemeses, the Canada Post.
So, yesterday, my dad went to Yoshinoya.While I was supposedly doing nothing, I proceeded to masturbate.
So anyway >>259, please listen. I went to Yoshinoya by a metro station in Shanghai today. Place was deserted. There were no signs announcing money off. 16RMB for the beef bowl.
I was a little nervous going in, as it was my first time in the hallowed halls of Yoshinoya and I had to order extra onions without bursting out into laughter.
I flirted with the girl at the counter, then ordered the beef bowl. With extra onions. All the while wondering if I had been invisibly marked by my selection. Then all three of the staff burst out laughing. It might have been something to do with me recieving a message exactly as I ordered, telling me in broken Chinglish I made the senders gaydar tingle, and then chuckling loudly.
With the extra onion, the price was a little higher (18RMB), but there was about the same beef.
I ate it while the waitress made the eyes at me. I finished up, smiled and left.
Next time, I'll repeat the experiment and see the reaction of the staff.
>>263 I liked that story except for the dubious romantic subplot
Anyways, >>1, please listen to me. That it's really related to this thread.
I went to Yoshinoya a while ago; you know, Yoshinoya?
Well anyways there was an insane number of people there, and I couldn't get in.
Then, I looked at the banner hanging from the ceiling, and it had "150 yen off" written on it.
Oh, the stupidity. Those idiots.
You, don't come to Yoshinoya just because it's 150 yen off, fool.
It's only 150 yen, 1-5-0 YEN for crying out loud.
There're even entire families here. Family of 4, all out for some Yoshinoya, huh? How fucking nice.
"Alright, daddy's gonna order the extra-large." God I can't bear to watch.
You people, I'll give you 150 yen if you get out of those seats.
Yosinoya should be a bloody place.
That tense atmosphere, where two guys on opposite sides of the U-shaped table can start a fight at any time,
the stab-or-be-stabbed mentality, that's what's great about this place.
Women and children should screw off and stay home.
Anyways, I was about to start eating, and then the bastard beside me goes "extra-large, with extra sauce."
Who in the world orders extra sauce nowadays, you moron?
I want to ask him, "do you REALLY want to eat it with extra sauce?"
I want to interrogate him. I want to interrogate him for roughly an hour.
Are you sure you don't just want to try saying "extra sauce"?
Coming from a Yoshinoya veteran such as myself, the latest trend among us vets is this, extra green onion.
That's right, extra green onion. This is the vet's way of eating.
Extra green onion means more green onion than sauce. But on the other hand the price is a tad higher. This is the key.
And then, it's delicious. This is unbeatable.
However, if you order this then there is danger that you'll be marked by the employees from next time on; it's a double-edged sword.
I can't recommend it to amateurs.
What this all really means, though, is that you, >>1, should just stick with today's special.
Always gives me great pleasure to read it!
>>245 experiment with ketamine
I want to ask him, "Why do you keep bumping terrible old threads?"
I want to interrogate him. I want to interrogate him for roughly an hour.
>>267
Interrogate him FOR roughly an hour -or- Interrogate him ROUGHLY for an hour?
plz clarify
>>270 I agree those are shitty threads, but I'd just like to add that I went to Yoshinoya the other day, you know, Yoshinoya? I've been a bit strapped for cash recently but I heard there was a special deal on, and I felt like I could do with cheering myself up a bit. It was a little late but I thought I could get a quick bit just before they closed. But I got there, and realised I'd forgotten my wallet at home. I'm such an idiot!
Yesterday I went to Panda Express and wimped out, having a Mandarin Chicken/Chow Mein bowl instead of something more chinky.
>>263
So anyway, about ten months ago, I went to Yoshinoya at Hongkou Football stadium, you remember that Yoshinoya?
The place was deserted and you had just said goodbye to a friend on the holidays. Your Chinese girlfriend broke up with you a few weeks previously. The guilt of cheating on your girlfriend at home had gotten a little too much and had started manifesting itself. You were very lonely. You had gotten a haircut earlier that day and there was an insane number of people there. Probably because of the discount they gave in Saturdays. It didn't really matter though.
I think you were trying to game a girl into a date, but you were so pressed for time for whatever imaginary reason, you broke it off when she said you still have a girlfriend. I don't think you cared, you just wanted some kind of brief connection.
You had bought chalk for weightlifitng in a hiking shop nearby a few weeks ago. You walked Hongkou's streets and alleys for hours afterwards. You spoke to no one, and bought yogurt in a konbini. People commented on how fat you were getting.
You were struggling to find a worthy internship.
I think you would have liked to talk to the staff a bit more. I think China really fucked you up and you are still unravelling all the shit that went down when you were there.
You still don't know how to describe it to people. You are afraid of sounding weak. Even your girlfriend doesn't know about the days you shut yourself away and survived on milk. How you stuttered when you talked to strangers. How paranoid you became. How you lied and manipulated your way into sex, and lied to her in order to manipulate her into spending her life savings to visit you for a month.
You used people as objects. They used you.
...I could really use some extra onions in my beef bowl right now.
Sit yourself down and shut up, >>1.
You went to Yoshinoya a few weeks ago. You know, the one where you used to be employed? Well, there was nobody there, it was after clsoing time. You looked in the safe behind the counter. It had over 150,000 yen in it.
Oh, the stupidity. You idiot. Don't throw your life away for a measly 150,000 yen, fool. It's only 150,000 yen, 1-5-0-0-0-0 YEN for crying out loud. You have a family to think of. Family of 4, all relying on Daddy to bring home the bacon? Well, you fucked it up.
"Don't worry, daddy's gonna buy you that Christmas present," you said to yourself as you slipped the cash into your pocket. God, I couldn't bear to watch the security tapes. You fool, you could have earned 150,000 yen if you had worked for it. But it's too late for you now.
You know, prison is a bloody place. That tense atmosphere, where two guys on opposite sides of the cafeteria table can start a fight at any time, the stab-or-be-stabbed mentality, that's what's great about it. Women and children don't exist there. You'll be about to start eating, and then the bastard next to you will go "extra-large, with extra sauce."
That's code for "You're our next victim." And then they'll rape you. They'll rape you for roughly an hour. They'll fill your ass with "extra sauce". I used to be a prison guard, and let me tell you, the latest trend is extra green onion. That's right, extra green onion. This is the vet's way of raping new blood.
Extra green onion means they ram it in until your skin starts to peel away like an onion. The sauce goes straight into your mouth. And you start to get used to it. This is the key. Because then, it's delicious. You reach the pits of depravity. Once you're served this, you'll be marked from then on. You'll be their bitch the rest of your life.
What this all really means, though, is that you, >>1, are under arrest.
Well, never mind all that, >>279. This has nothing to do with this thread, but would you just listen to me for a little bit? See, I went to the local Gold's Gym today. Right. Gold's Gym. And the damn place was packed so full of people, I couldn't even find a rack. So I looked around a bit, and I found a sign that said "Crossfit strongman Meet - 15% off". What the hell is wrong with you people? Are you idiots or something? Any other day you wouldn't even think of going to Gold's Gym, but if it's Crossfit, you all flock in here? It's just 15 fucking percent! 15 percent! And you're bringing the kids too. Look at that, a family of four going to Gold's Gym. Con-fucking-gratulations. And now the guy's going, "All right! Daddy's going to do the large axle continental clean!" Shit, I can't watch any more of this.
Gold's Gym should be fucking brutal. Two guys squat facing each other across a box-shaped rack, and you never quite know if they'll suddenly just start a powerlifting meet right there. It's lift-or-be-lifted, and that's what so damn great about the place. Women and kids should stay the fuck away.
Well, I finally found a rack, but then the guy next to me goes, "I'll go for 25 power snatches!". So now I'm pissed off again. Who the fuck does snatches for 25 these days? Why are you looking so goddamn proud when you say that? I was gonna ask you, are you really going to do all those snatches in a single set with good form? I wanted to fucking interrogate you. For about a fucking hour. You know what? I think you just wanted to say "power snatch".
Now, take it from a Gold's Gym veteran. The latest thing among the Yoshinoya pros is this: Smolov squats. That's the ticket. Loads of squats with little assistance onions, and GOMAD. This is what someone who knows his shit orders. They put in more fat, and less carbs. A large bow bowl of oats with the raw egg, that's really fucking awesome. Now, you should know, if you keep on Smolov, there's a risk employees might write you up. This really is a double-edged sword. I really can't recommend this for amateurs. And you, >>279, well, you should really just stick to the leg extension machine.
Anyways, >>280, please listen to me. That it's really related to this thread.
I went to /dqn/ a while ago; you know, /dqn/?
Well anyways there was an insane number of people there, and I couldn't get in.
Then, I looked at the banner hanging from the ceiling, and it had ">>150GET" written on it.
Oh, the stupidity. Those idiots.
You, don't come to /dqn/ just because it's >>150GET, fool.
It's only 150GET, 1-5-0 G-E-T for crying out loud.
There're even entire families here. Family of 4, all out for some /dqn/, huh? How fucking nice.
"Alright, daddy's gonna order the extra-large." God I can't bear to watch.
You people, I'll give you 150GET if you get out of those seats.
/dqn/ should be a silly place.
That tense atmosphere, where two guys on opposite sides of the U-shaped textboard can start a panda thread at any time,
the post-or-be-left-out-of-the-fun mentality, that's what's great about this place.
Women and children should screw off and stay home.
Anyways, I was about to start posting, and then the dokyun beside me goes "WASSHOI!"
Who in the world posts WASSHOI threads nowadays, you moron?
I want to ask him, "do you REALLY want to do the WASSHOI dance?"
I want to interrogate him. I want to interrogate him for roughly an hour.
Are you sure you don't just want to try saying "WASSHOI"?
Coming from a /dqn/ veteran such as myself, the latest trend among us vets is this, Beady Eyes.
That's right, Beady Eyes. This is the vet's way of derailing threads.
Extra Beady Eyes means more Beady Eyes than Grandpa. But on the other hand the price is a tad higher. This is the key.
And then, it's delicious. This is unbeatable.
However, if you order this then there is danger that you'll be marked by the employees from next time on; it's a double-edged sword.
I can't recommend it to amateurs.
What this all really means, though, is that you, >>280, should just stick with watching the emergency mittens float gently down the screen.
281 dokyuns all out for some yoshinoya, huh? How fucking nice.
Anyways, >>282, please listen to me. That it's really related to this thread.
I went to Waffle House a while ago; you know, Waffle House?
Well anyways there was an insane number of people there, and I couldn't get in.
Then, I looked at the banner hanging from the ceiling, and it had "Free grits" written on it.
Oh, the stupidity. Those idiots.
You, don't come to Waffle House just because it has free grits, fool.
It's only grits, G-R-I-T-S for crying out loud.
There're even entire families here. Family of 4, all out for some Waffle House, huh? How fucking nice.
"Alright, daddy's gonna order the Texas Cheesesteak Melt with bacon and gravy." God I can't bear to watch.
You people, I'll give you my grits if you get out of those seats.
Waffle House should be a bloody place.
That tense atmosphere, where two truckers on opposite ends of the counter can start a fight at any time,
the stab-or-be-stabbed mentality, that's what's great about this place.
Women and children should screw off and stay home.
Anyways, I was about to start eating, and then the bastard beside me goes "hash browns, capped, diced and peppered."
Who in the world orders capped, diced and peppered nowadays, you moron?
I want to ask him, "do you REALLY want to eat it capped, diced and peppered?"
I want to interrogate him. I want to interrogate him for roughly an hour.
Are you sure you don't just want to try saying "capped, diced and peppered"?
Coming from a Waffle House veteran such as myself, the latest trend among us vets is this, smothered, covered and chunked.
That's right, smothered, covered and chunked. This is the vet's way of eating.
Extra onions, cheese and ham means more onions, cheese and ham than potatoes. But on the other hand the price is a tad higher. This is the key.
And then, it's delicious. This is unbeatable.
However, if you order this then there is danger that you'll get a heart attack; it's a double-edged sword.
I can't recommend it to amateurs.
What this all really means, though, is that you, >>282, should just stick with IHOP.
This is my favorite thread on all of Channel 4.
Oh god, >>>1 is from the future in 2004. I hope he posts again and tells us what is going to happen.
Anyways, >>1, please listen to me. That it's really related to this thread.
I went to Yoshinoya a while ago; you know, Yoshinoya?
Well anyways there was only a few people there, and I had no problem finding a seat.
Then, I looked at the banner hanging from the ceiling, and it had "150 yen off" written on it.
What a pleasant surprise, I thought.
I didn't come to Yoshinoya just because it's 150 yen off, but even so.
It's nice of the management to do these little things for the customers occasionally.
There're even entire families here. Family of 4, all out for some Yoshinoya, huh? How delightful!
"Alright, daddy's gonna order the extra-large." I happen to overhear.
I don't know these people, but I'd happily give them 150 yen if they needed change for the bus.
Yosinoya is a wonderful place.
That calm atmosphere, where two guys on opposite sides of the U-shaped table can strike up a conversation at any time,
the happy-go-lucky mentality, that's what's great about this place.
The women and children really add to the feel of the place, too.
Anyways, I was about to start eating, and then the guy beside me goes "extra-large, with extra sauce."
Who in the world orders extra sauce nowadays?
I want to tell him, "y'know, actually, I've heard good things about the extra green onion."
I want to chat with him. I want to chat with him for roughly an hour.
Are you sure you don't want to try ordering extra green onion instead?
Coming from a Yoshinoya regular such as myself, the latest trend among us regulars is this, extra green onion.
That's right, extra green onion. This is my favourite way of eating.
Extra green onion means more green onion than sauce. The employees are so nice they don't even charge extra for it.
And then, it's delicious. This is unbeatable.
And, if you order this then the employees will probably remember you from next time on; it's a nice feeling.
I'd recommend it to anyone.
What this all really means, though, is that you, >>1, should come visit some time.
Yesterday I went to Gensokyo
( LΦ`) When I was your age, 150 yen was enough to feed our entire family. If it weren't for these damned high speed printing presses, we could still feed our entire family for 150 yen!
( LΦ`) I love the prime minister, his economic policy is to print a fuckton of money and give it away, as I am a NEET I am getting money by the truckload.
So I looked for the nearest Yoshinoya and it was in Arizona and it's closed. I guess I'll go to Five Guys Burgers & Fries instead. :(
So I went to Panda Express and had the Teriyaki chicken bowl with chow mein and an eggroll. It was okay.
I like the kind of bouncy pop Chinese folk muzak they play there.
>>289
There was an insane amount of people there and I couldn't get in, because Komachi was slacking off again.
Now, take it from a Yoshinoya veteran. The latest thing among the Yoshinoya pros is this: Extra green onions. That's the ticket. A large bowl with extra onions, and egg. This is what someone who knows his shit orders. They put in more onions, and less meat. A large bowl with the raw egg, that's really fucking awesome. Now, you should know, if you keep ordering this, there's a risk employees might write you up. This really is a double-edged sword. I really can't recommend this for amateurs.
Okay, so I actually made a trek to the mecca. You know, Yoshinoya. I'd read so much about it over the past decade of lurking message boards. Now I was in Japan and had a chance. It wasn't super crowded like in the original rant. But I did feel a bit stupid because I was basically the only single guy there, plus I was a weeaboo wearing an anime shirt. Everybody else was a group of friends, or a family, or a giggling couple or some shit.
I sat down at the U-shaped counter and saw there was some 10% off deal if you tweet or instagram a Yoshinoya selfie. Okay, I expected some nonsense but give me a fucking break. You social media fucknuts. Nobody should post their stupid face online. Especially not at Yoshinoya. This isn't a fucking 5-star Michelin restaurant. It's the Japanese equivalent of Mickey D's. There were a couple of annoying squealing gyaruz caked with too much makeup, trying to shoot a selfie that included both their faces and their greasy bowl of beef. You think that's fucking attractive? Do you really need that 10% off? I want to fuck 10% of your faces off.
I knew Yoshinoya wasn't going to be like the rant, but I didn't know it would be this mind-bogglingly disappointing. So anticlimactic, so boring. It was just another venue for the smoldering ranks of normal people. I was hoping there would be at least one otaku like myself. The type of person who visits anonymous message boards and knows the True Meaning of Yoshinoya. We could exchange knowing looks from opposite sides of the U-shaped counter. Maybe even have a knife fight.
But whatever, I tried to focus on my task. I was getting ready to order extra green onions, like the guy in the original rant. I was hoping that would be the secret code to unlock the cool side of Yoshinoya that I'd been waiting for. They would put my name on a list and wink at me.
But the guys next to me order first. And one of them orders a large bowl with egg and extra green onions.
Okay, what the fuck. Stop making it sound like "extra green onions" is a thing that normal people get. That should be reserved for people like me who are in-the-know. Lonely internet people who grew up on message boards. Not boring shits like you who have 500 friends on facebook or whatever.
I want to interrogate them for roughly an hour. Do you understand what you're doing? Do you know the true meaning of "extra green onion?" Do you know how many Yoshinoya rant parodies I've written and read in my time? Have you even heard of 2ch?
I gave up. Yoshinoya wasn't anything like I'd hoped. The dream was dead. So I got the daily special.
I went to Yoshinoya and had the beef bowl. It was okay. Nobody got stabbed.
yosinoya wassoi
yosinoya wassoi