( ´ω`) hello kids! Be serious please.

(・∀・)

(・∀・)

( ´ω`) The grey-ey'd morn smiles on the frowning night,
Chequering the eastern clouds with streaks of light;
And flecked darkness like a drunkard reels

(・∀・) Ay, those attires are best:--but, gentle nurse,
I pray thee, leave me to myself to-night;
For I have need of many orisons
To move the heavens to smile upon my state,
Which, well thou know'st, is cross and full of sin.

(・∀・) Sanepa, how do you pronounce pwned?

( ´ω`) You don't. And if I ever hear you say "Lawl" I'll have you retroactively aborted. Your mother still listens to my advice, unlike some people I know!

(・∀・) lal

( ´ω`) Junior, one of the biggest obstacles in the search for truth is other people, especially those who make fun of themselves.

（　｀ハ´） Hm, the fridge over here isn't half bad.

( ´ω`) The last of my thread goes down with the rest of those intelligent contributors of dqn.

（　｀ハ´）No sense letting all of this food go to waste, then. Pardon me...

(・∀・)

(・∀・) I sure am off the ball today. Oh well, 50.

( ´ω`) If you ever are in a discombobulated state, do state your perplexion junior, I'm here for you.

(・∀・) I downgraded my Grandpa verion so I can use homebrew and emulators on it again.

( ´ω`) >C:___

(・∀・) >C:format grandpa /q

hoi

( ´ω`) ACCESS DENIED
( ´ω`) >C:___

( ´ω`) I'm write-protected, you nub.

(・∀・) I TAKE OUT MY HOLE PUNCH AND then FORMAT C: /q /u

(ﾟ∀ﾟ) Put me in the air and my speed will lead;
All in the shine like a miracle weed.
I just won't stop wit' them treasures with me;
Said it before, I was born to be.

( ´ω`) What's a hole punch going to do to a C: drive, kiddo?

( ´ω`) ...

(・∀・) ...

(・∀・) ... I like the other Grandpa thread better.

( ´ω`) Comedy is only as good as the straight man, Junior. You have to do a better job of lobbing them over the plate.

(・∀・) Grandpa, who am us anyway?

( ´ω`) We am legion for us is heaps

( ´ω`) ......

(・∀・) Punch holes in it!

( ´ω`) Sonny, is this some imported meme from a very stupid imageboard ? I should put Family Guard Pro Web Filter on your computer.

(・∀・) Sanepa, someone in the "Hi kids!!" thread offered me candy to get in his car. What should I do?

( ´ω`) Have you accepted his offer yet?

(・∀・) I'm holding out for full dental.

( ´ω`) Dammit, I was denied my 1000get!

(・∀・) You were ripped off, Grandpa.

(・∀・) Sanepa, another stupid thread got to 1000. Not only that, there hasn't been a single post in this thread since the beginning of part 5! What should we do?!

( ´ω`) Keep under the radar.

( ﾟ ヮﾟ)

(・∀・)

( ´ω`)

( ・ω・)

<丶｀∀´>

>>80
( ﾟ -ﾟ) Get out

<丶｀∀´> kekeke

<丶｀∀´> nida

(・∀・)

(　･ิm･ิ)

( ﾟ ヮﾟ)

ﾐ*ﾟｰﾟ)

ﾐ*ﾟｰﾟ) So one day I --

( ´ω`) SHHH!!!

ﾐ*ﾟ-ﾟ) ...

( ・ω・)

( ⌒д⌒)

ﾐ*ﾟｰﾟ) So one day I --

( ´ω`) SHHH!!!

ﾐ*ﾟ-ﾟ) ...

ﾐ*ﾟｰﾟ) But you said..

( ´ω`) What is it with kids these days? They wait 50 days and STILL don't finish their sentences.

ﾐ*ﾟｰﾟ) So one day I --

( ´ω`) SHHH!!!

ﾐ*ﾟ-ﾟ) ...goddammit.

( ﾟ ヮﾟ) Grandpa, how come your Christmas gifts suck, unlike those from my other grandpa? They look like they came from the dollar store!

( ´ω`) Dollar store? What do you think I am, made of money?

(・∀・) Hey Grandpa! Remember this thread?

(・∀・) Old isn't it? From 1993.

( ・-・) Oh the insanity!

( ´ω`) Who were you, again?

( ´ω`) What was that? I guess someone snuck in here...
(・∀・) I dont know Grandpa. I guess some loser somehow wandered into Dqn.

( ・-・) Losers have been wandering DQN for years now, and BOY DOES IT FUCKING SHOW

( ・-・) Yeah especially now that you're here Beady Eyes

( ・-・) HAHAHAHAHAHAHA LOL I'M A FUCKING COMEDY GENIUS WATCH OUT HERE COMES THE FLAME TRAIN WOOOO WOOO FUCKING WOOOOOO

(・∀・) I think he's a bit upset about his thread getting vandalized.

(・∀・) Or euphoric.

(・∀・) Or just plain crazy. Heh.

( ・-・) KAWAII! SUGOI DESU NE???

(⊺●Д๏) Hello. I am "Mr. Likes To Bump Character Threads". I do believe this is a character thread, so I would like to bump it. That is why my name is "Mr. Likes To Bump Character Threads".

( ´ω`) SHHH!!!

(・∀・) It didn't? Guess I'll have to try again.

(・∀・) I think I fixed the bug in the flux capacitor, Grandpa! It should work properly now!

( ´ω`) Junior, today at 10:04 A.M., LIGHTNING DID STRIKE THIS CLOCK TOWER.

( ・-・) No it didn't, you liar.

( ・-・) That's because you're so addle-headed that it took 211 days for you to finally register my reply.

(・∀・) I'm not whatever-headed, and it seemed like 211 to me. Give or take.

( ´ω`) I like the look of that pole.

( ・ω・) Yes, I also like the look of that mustachioed Pole.

( ・ Ψ・) How dare you proclaim yourself sane, Grandpa? Only a certified Psypa can do that.

( ´ω`) What are you, some kinda pokeymon?

A­C­K!! ahh­­hhk a­c­k ac­k ac­k? ac­k ac­k? ac­k AC­KKKKKKKKKK­KKKKKKK!!! a­ck a­ck AHH­HHK AAAAA­HHH AAA­HHHHH AC­K! AC­K!???!A­CK!! ahhhh­k A­CK AA­AAC­KKK!!!! A­CK A­CK AC­HHHHH­K ac­k ac­kkkkkkk!!!! a­ck a­ck a­ck?
AC­K A­CK AC­HHHHHK ac­k ac­kkkkkkk!!!! ac­k a­ck? a­ck A­CKKK­KKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!! ac­k a­ck AH­HHH­K AAA­AAHHH AAA­HHHHH AC­K! AC­K!???!

AC­K!! ahhhh­k ac­k ac­k ac­k? A­CK AAAA­CKKK!!!! AC­K A­CK AC­HHHHHK ac­k ac­­kkkkkkk!!!! ac­k ac­k? ãck AC­KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!! ac­k a­ck A­HHHHK AAAAAH­HH AAA­HHHHH AC­K! A­CK!???!AC­K!! a­hhhhk ac­k a­ck ac­k? A­CK AAAA­CKKK!!!! AC­KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!

ac­k a­ck A­HHHHK AAA­AAHHH AAA­HHHHH AC­K!
A­C­K!! ahh­­hhk a­c­k ac­k ac­k? A­CK AA­AAC­KKK!!!! A­CK A­CK AC­HHHHH­K ac­k ac­kkkkkkk!!!! AC­K!???!A­CK!! ahhhh­k a­ck a­ck a­ck?

AC­K A­CK AC­HHHHHK ac­k ac­kkkkkkk!!!! ac­k a­ck? a­ck A­CKKK­KKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!! AC­K!! ahhhh­k ac­k ac­k ac­k? A­CK AAAA­CKKK!!!!
ac­k ac­k? AC­KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!! ac­k a­ck A­HHHHK AAAAAH­HH AAA­HHHHH AC­K! A­CK!???!AC­K!! ac­kkkkkkk!!!! ac­k a­ck? a­ck AC­KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!! ac­k a­ck A­HHHHK AAA­AAHHH AAA­HHHHH AC­K! AC­K!???!A­CK!!
A­C­K!! ahh­­hhk a­c­k ac­k ac­k? A­CK AA­AAC­KKK!!!! A­CK A­CK AC­HHHHH­K ac­k ac­kkkkkkk!!!! ac­k ac­k? ac­k AC­KKKKKKKKKK­KKKKKKK!!! a­ck a­ck AHH­HHK AAAAA­HHH AAA­HHHHH AC­K! AC­K!???!A­CK!! ahhhh­k a­ck a­ck a­ck?
AC­K A­CK AC­HHHHHK ac­k ac­kkkkkkk!!!! ac­k a­ck? a­ck A­CKKK­KKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!! ac­k a­ck AH­HHH­K AAA­AAHHH AAA­HHHHH AC­K! AC­K!???!

AC­K!! ahhhh­k ac­k ac­k ac­k? A­CK AAAA­CKKK!!!! AC­K A­CK AC­HHHHHK ac­k ac­­kkkkkkk!!!! ac­k ac­k?

( ◎ ヮ◎) The hell? 'ssif I can do som'n like that right away!? I'll kill you, you bastard! Bwa, bwa, bwaawkkl.

( ´ω`) Somebody's been reading too much Doonesbury.

( ^ω-) Ackpfffftt

(　･ิω･ิ) is the founder of the elitist superstructure. He formed the Elitist Superstructure to honor soldiers like ( ´ω`). He recruited ( ・-・) and ( ･ิm･ิ), and eventually (・∀・), ( ﾟ ヮﾟ) and (´^ิω＾ิ) become members temporarily.

(　･ิω･ิ) becomes corrupt and clones (・∀・) without his consent. (・∀・) finds out and leaves the Elitist Superstructure. ( ﾟ ヮﾟ) and (´^ิω＾ิ) become intent on destroying the Elitist Superstructure. Instead of recruiting more members (　･ิω･ิ) uses copypasta to form the rest of the Elitist Superstructure members so that his system became automated by dumb memes

-Cracky-chan Dies from cancer after her nanomachines are disabled
-Squeeks dies after his nanomachines are disabled, then DADDYCOOL finishes him off

( ﾟ ヮﾟ) dies trying to save (◕ ◡ ◕)' body in a fire because she believed (´^ิω＾ิ) was really taken over by （　｀ハ´）. ( ・ω・) tries to save her but his face gets burnt.
-( ´ω`) IS STILL ALIVE. How the gently caress?
-( ´ω`) dies by deliberately breathing in the mutated VIPQuality ( ・ω・) was injected into him by (,,#ﾟдﾟ). He saves ( ・ω・)'s life by appearing before ( ・ω・) shoots himself. And thus revealing that he is still alive and confirming (´^ิω＾ิ)'s true intention.

( ´ω`) kills (　･ิω･ิ) at the graveyard. (　･ิω･ิ) was practically dead already, he was just alive in a physical sense at that point.
-(´^ิω＾ิ) dies [（　｀ハ´） was never alive or possessing (´^ิω＾ิ) bwahahahaha] (´^ิω＾ิ) and ( ﾟ ヮﾟ) planned to take down the Elitist Superstructure from the beginning. (´^ิω＾ิ) reveals that he was a "doppelganger" of （　｀ハ´） to throw off the Elitist Superstructire.

-( ・ω・) lives but has 3 months to live, so he goes off to live the remainder of his life in solitude.

(・∀・) TL;DR

( ・ω・) Don't worry, I'm always here to listen!

( ´ω`) And I'm always here to tell long rambling stories without a purpose.

(・∀・) Grandpa, what did you do at the Siege of Mafeking?

(・∀・) Is that all!? You didn't Maffick? At Mafeking? I'm astounded!

DQN FANTASY

(・∀・) is FIGHTER.
( ´ω`) is BLK BELT.
( ﾟ ヮﾟ) is WHT MAGE.
( ・ω・) is RED MAGE.

TOGETHER THE FOUR WARRIORS OF DQN WILL DEFEAT （　｀ハ´）WHO HAS TAKEN
　　　　 　　　／⌒ヽ　　　　DQN-KUN AS HOSTAGE. WILL THE FOUR
　　　　 　　/（●）（●） 　　WARRIORS OF DQN PREVAIL??
　　　　 　　|　ﾄｪｪｪｲ/　　　
　　　　 　　| /｀ﾆﾆ´　　　　
　　　　 　 //　| |　 　　　　
　　　　 　Ｕ　 .Ｕ　 　

( ・-・) I propose a Fellowship of DQN.

( ・-・) You can have my pills.

( ・-・) But remember, one does not simply trip into the Secret Area of VIP Posters.

(・∀・)っ-̾ Hey grandpa I started smoking

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ Poseur! You don't possess the intellect for accessorized smoking.