I'm afraid I have bad news... (236)

1 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4595 21:05

| Θ
|L₯ƒΦ₯) Squeeks has terminal bonitis.
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

2 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4595 21:11

| Θ
|L₯ƒΦ₯) Squeeks has terminal breast cancer.
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

3 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4595 21:24

Kneeding Squeeks
@@@@@@@@l@@@@@
@@@@@@@iQ_j@@@@
@@@@@@ iQQj@@@@
@@@@@@i QQ j@@ @
@@@@@@iEΝE@j@
(LEƒΦE)‚@(E(E j@@@@
@@@@@@b b@|@@@@@@@
@@@@@@i_QjQj

4 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4595 22:16

| Θ
|L₯ƒΦ₯) Squeeks has just suffered from a critical
|.@V@Κ AA failure. I'm not sure if we can save him.
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

5 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4595 23:42

| Θ
|L₯ƒΦ₯) I have a rocket in my pants.
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

6 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4596 00:56

| Θ
|L₯ƒΦ₯) Squeeks has terminal dingoes kidney failure.
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

7 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4596 01:01

| Θ
|L₯ิƒΦ₯ิ) Squeeks will never play the piano again.
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

8 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4596 04:07

| Θ
|L₯ƒΦ₯) Squeeks will always play the piano again
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

9 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4596 04:46

| Θ
|L₯ิƒΦ₯ิ) Squeeks will never play the digeridoo again.
|.@V@Κ Thank God...
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

10 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4596 05:40

| Θ
|L₯ƒΦ₯) I forgot what I was going to say
|.@V@Κ it was hilarious, though.
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

11 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4596 06:18

(EΝE) Clonepa? I didn't know you were a doctor...

12 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4596 08:56

| Θ
|L₯ƒΦ₯) He keeps saying his name is squeeks and stuff
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

13 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4596 12:19

| Θ
|L₯ิƒΦ₯ิ) Squeeks needs a brain transplant.
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

14 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4596 12:58

| Θ
|L₯ิƒΦ₯ิ) Unfortunately, there aren't any to be found in /dqn/.
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

(@₯ิƒΦ₯ิ) You over there! Go fetch me a brain, quickly.

15 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4596 15:08

(LίƒΦί`) Sorry, we're fresh out!

16 Name: squeek's doctor : 1993-09-4596 15:30

| Θ
|L₯ƒΦ₯) Squeeks told me that /dqn/ is going to be closed
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

17 Name: squeek's lawyer : 1993-09-4596 15:34

| Θ
|L₯ƒΦ₯) Squeeks is being taken to court. He is being sued for
|.@V@Κ damages for libel, and defamation by a Jisaku Jien
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

18 Name: squeek's caddy : 1993-09-4596 15:41

| Θ
|L₯ƒΦ₯) Squeeks is golfing.
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

19 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4596 22:19

| Θ
|L₯ƒΦ₯) Squeeks has entered a chrysalis state.
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

20 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4597 14:03

| Θ
|L₯ƒΦ₯) This thread has ended peacefully.
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

21 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4597 14:40

@ ΘQΘ@@@ΘQΘ@@@ΘQΘ@@ ΘQΘ@ @ ΘQΘ
@i@EΝEji@M[Lji@LΝMji@ί Νί ji@OΝOj
@i@@@@‚Β„±Ύ„ͺ„ͺΎ„ͺΎ„ͺ„ͺΎ„ͺΎ„ͺΎ„ͺ„±Ό@ @ @‚Β
@@b b@|@ „«This thread has ended peacefully.„«@b b b
@i_QjQj „³„ͺ„ͺ„ͺ„ͺ„ͺ„ͺ„ͺ„ͺ„ͺ„ͺ„ͺ„ͺ„ͺ„ͺ„³@i_QjQj@@@@@

Please do not resurrect it.

Thank you.

22 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4597 14:44

@@ , , @@poor Squeeks!
@iGL„tMj
@ƒ°Όœc_,,..i'"':@
@@@@@|_`€:@i'€
@@@@@__`_',..-i
@@@@@@ _|_,..-„£

23 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4597 15:01

| Θ
|@₯ิƒΦ₯ิ) Squeeks has risen from the dead.
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

24 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4597 17:11

| Θ
|L₯ƒΦ₯) Squeeks has left his chrysalis state, but he came out
|.@V@Κ in worse condition than he went in!
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

25 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4597 17:11

>>23
| Θ
|@₯ิƒΦ₯ิ) Squeeks has risen the thread.
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

26 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4597 21:34

@@@l@@@@@
@@iQ_j@@@@
@ iQQj@@@
@i QQ j@@@@
@i@EΝEj@ƒ@My name is Squeeks and my health was restored to 100%!
@i‚@@ ‚Β
@b b@|@@@@@
@i_QjQj

27 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4597 21:40

| Θ
|L₯ƒΦ₯) Squeeks saves....
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|) ......money on car insurance!
|__)Q)

28 Name: Squeeks : 1993-09-4598 03:42

@@@l@@@@@
@@iQ_j@@@@
@ iQQj@@@
@i Θ j@
|LEΝE) I am a licenced medical practitioner
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

29 Name: Squeeks : 1993-09-4598 03:44

@@@l@@@@@
@@iQ_j@@@@
@ iQQj@@@
@i Θ j@
@|LEΝE) I have terminal bonitis.
@|.@V@Κ
@|___:|__|)
@|__)Q)

30 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4598 14:50

| Θ
|L₯ƒΦ₯) Shii has acute moderatoritis. Only deboxification might cure him.
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

31 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4602 18:47

| Θ
|L₯ƒΦ₯) I'll bump this thread as soon as Squeek's condition changes.
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

32 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4602 19:15

| Θ
|L₯ƒΦ₯) Nothing yet. Sorry.
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

33 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4602 20:08

| Θ
|L₯ƒΦ₯) Squeeks has a terminal.
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

34 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4602 20:46

| Θ
|L₯ƒΦ₯) Oddly enough, his terminal squeaks.
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

35 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4603 12:57

| Θ
|L₯ƒΦ₯) He just rolled over! This is good news!
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

36 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4604 01:02

| Θ
|Lί ƒŽί) Now he's begging. It's sooooooo cute!
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

37 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4604 04:15

| Θ
|L₯ƒΦ₯) Sorry, that was my overweight nurse. It won't happen again, promise.
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

38 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4605 06:16

| Θ
|L₯ƒΦ₯) 4-ch is dying
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

39 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4606 11:59

| Θ
|L₯ƒΦ₯) We should just try to make 4-ch comfortable.
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

40 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4606 12:44

| Θ
|L₯ƒΦ₯) On the plus side, his death was hilarious.
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

41 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4606 13:35

| Θ
|L₯ƒΦ₯) I give him 3 weeks. Wait. No. 2 weeks.
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

42 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4607 02:40

| Θ
|L₯ƒΦ₯) I gave him mouth to mouth.
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

43 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4607 03:14

| Θ
|Lί ƒŽί) I gave him ass to mouth.
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

44 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4607 03:16

| Θ
|;LƒΦ`) Will you stop going crazy in there?
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

45 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4607 06:24

| Θ
|L₯ƒΦ₯) I don't want to do the barium thing.
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

46 Name: squeeks : 1993-09-4607 09:30

@@@l@@@@@
@@iQ_j@@@@
@ iQQj@@@
@i QQ j@@@@
@i@EΝEj@ƒ@My name is Squeeks, and I gave up control
@i‚@@ ‚@@@of 4-ch to moot
@b b@|@@@@@
@i_QjQj@

47 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4607 11:43

| Θ
|L₯ƒΦ₯) Only Jesus can help him now.
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

48 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4607 12:52

| Θ
|L₯ƒΦ₯) Jesus just called and said he's too busy.
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

49 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4608 00:22

| Θ
|L₯ƒΦ₯) I tried to call Buddah to help Squeeks, but he doesn't
|.@V@Κ have a phone
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

50 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4608 00:23

| Θ
|L₯ƒΦ₯) This thread isn't getting to 1000 before zero hour
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

51 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4608 00:25

| Θ
|L₯ƒΦ₯) I missed 50 get
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

52 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4608 03:48

| Θ
|L₯ƒΦ₯) We're sending Squeeks to Osaka, where the finest doctors will try
|.@V@Κ to help him. We need you to chip in for his bus ticket.
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

53 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4608 12:29

| Θ
|Lί ƒŽί) He's back from Osaka. No change to report, except that
|.@V@Κ he brought me this cute geisha paperweight!
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

54 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4608 12:53

| Θ
|L₯ƒΦ₯) I think his dick just fell off.
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

55 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4609 16:30

| Θ
|@₯ิƒΦ₯ิ) Never mind, it was just his pancreas.
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

56 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4610 02:07

[Del]

| Θ
|@₯ิƒΦ₯ิ) I may have contracted Squeeks' STDs before he died.
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

57 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4612 22:09

| Θ
|@₯ิƒΦ₯ิ) Squeeks has suddenly developed Pendulous Scrotum Syndrome.
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

58 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4613 00:23

@@@l@@@@@
@@iQ_j@@@@
@ iQQj@@@@
@i QQ j @@@
@i@EΝEj@ƒ@Hay guys check these babies out!
@i‚@@ ‚@@@
@b ƒΦ@|@@@@
@i_QjQj@

59 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4613 01:19

@@@l@@@@@
@@iQ_j@@@@
@ iQQj@@@@
@i QQ j @@@
@i@EΝEj@ƒ@Pretty cool, isn't it?
@i‚@@ ‚@@@
@bLƒΦ` |@@@@
@i_QjQj@

60 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4613 02:09

@@@l@@@@@
@@iQ_j@@@@
@ iQQj@@@@
@i QQ j @@@
@i@EΝEj@ƒ@Ah..
@i‚@@ ‚@@@
@@= = = = S
@i_QjQj@= bLƒΦ` | I'm getting the hell out of here.

61 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4613 12:58

| Θ
|L₯ƒΦ₯) Okay, NOW his dick has just fallen off.
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

62 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4615 01:39

| Θ
|@₯ิƒΦ₯ิ) I just got back from Burger King, and I have tremendous gas!
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

63 Name: Cyber Okama : 1993-09-4615 02:05

| Θ
|L₯ƒΦ₯) Squeeks is now singing and looking for a full moon.
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

64 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4615 06:15

| Θ
|L₯ƒΦ₯) ... but its still noon. PREPARE CPR STAT!
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

65 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4619 00:29

| Θ
|@₯ิƒΦ₯ิ) Hope you're enjoying the waiting room cable TV. Speaking of,
|.@V@Κ I wouldn't go in the men's room for a while. I just laid my own
|___:|__|) high quality cable, if you know what I mean.
|__)Q)

66 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4620 01:48

| Θ
|L₯ƒΦ₯) We have to evacuate the thread.
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

67 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4620 05:11

| Θ
|L₯ƒΦ₯) Or maybe I should just save myself and start anew.
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

68 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4620 06:01

| Θ
|L₯ƒΦ₯) We would like to know who'll pay for the expenses.
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

69 Name: My sentences : 1993-09-4620 07:14

HULK SMASH!

70 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4620 23:37

| Θ
|L₯ƒΦ₯) My name is Squeeks, and I make Hulk mad!
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

71 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4621 00:32

@@@l@@@@@
@@iQ_j@@@@
@ iQQj@@@
@i QQ j@@@@
@i@EΝEj@ƒ@MY name is Squeeks and what the hell, man?
@i‚@@ ‚@@@First you kick my ass, and
@b b@|@@@@@now you're taking my name?
@i_QjQj@@

72 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4621 01:40

| Θ
|L₯ƒΦ₯)>>71 I'm afraid I have bad news...
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

73 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4621 03:56

| Θ
|L₯ƒΦ₯) >>71 You have terminal bonitis
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

74 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4624 16:36

| Θ
|@₯ิƒΦ₯ิ) Hey, who's up for Burger King?
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

75 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4625 02:03

| Θ
|L₯ƒΦ₯) Squeeks is no longer daddy's little princess
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

76 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4626 15:26

| Θ
|L₯ƒΦ₯) Squeeks is no longer mum's little angel.
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

77 Name: My name is Squeeks and ... : 1993-09-4640 03:49

| Θ
|@₯ิƒΦ₯ิ) Burger King, tremendous gas, avoid the men's room, high quality cable.
|.@V@Κ You know the drill.
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

78 Name: My name is Squeeks and ... : 1993-09-4640 05:43

| Θ
|L₯ƒΦ₯) Squeeks went to Yoshinoya.
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

79 Name: My name is Squeeks and ... : 1993-09-4640 05:53

| Θ
|L₯ƒΦ₯) ...and then to McDonalds
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

80 Name: My name is Squeeks and ... : 1993-09-4640 08:53

| Θ
|L₯ƒΦ₯) ...and after he posted that pinku bento box thing again,
|.@V@Κ somebody stabbed him 87 times with a fork.
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

81 Name: My name is Squeeks and ... : 1993-09-4640 12:45

| Θ
|L₯ƒΦ₯) ...his hand cramped up into a withered claw after
|.@V@Κ copy/pasting DESU thousands of times in /b/.
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

82 Name: My name is Squeeks and ... : 1993-09-4640 12:52

| Θ
|L₯ƒΦ₯) The 'post happy things' thread broke the sad
|.@V@Κ little emo internet. Sorry kids.
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

83 Name: My name is Squeeks and ... : 1993-09-4640 13:07

| Θ
|L₯ƒΦ₯) Squeeks is in recovery, and just got his 30 day chip.
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

84 Name: My name is Squeeks and ... : 1993-09-4640 13:08

| Θ
|L₯ƒΦ₯) Nurse! I need a body bag here.
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

85 Name: My name is Squeeks and ... : 1993-09-4640 13:27

| Θ
|L₯ƒΦ₯) Squeeks left his own special brand of high
|.@V@Κ quality flooring
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

86 Name: My name is Squeeks and ... : 1993-09-4640 17:04

| Θ
|L₯ƒΦ₯) Today I have good news.
|.@V@Κ A free bed.
|___:|__|) And a fresh corpse for students' practice.
|__)Q)

87 Name: My name is Squeeks and ... : 1993-09-4642 00:51

| Θ
|L₯ƒΦ₯) Lolocaust has gone AWOL
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

88 Name: My name is Squeeks and ... : 1993-09-4642 01:02

| Θ
|L₯ƒΦ₯) Lolocaust was last spotted with Doug
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

89 Name: My name is Squeeks and ... : 1993-09-4642 18:10

| Θ
|@₯ิƒΦ₯ิ) Everyone named Squeeks is dying.
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

90 Name: My name is Squeeks and ... : 1993-09-4642 21:54

| Θ
|L₯ƒΦ₯) I'm tired of updating Squeeks's status. Go check on him yourself.
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

91 Name: My name is Squeeks and ... : 1993-09-4642 22:05

@@@l@@@@@
@@iQ_j@@@@
@ iQQj @@@
@i QQ j@@@
@i@x@_ xj@<@Malpractice!
@i‚@@ ‚Β @@
@b b@|@@@@
@i_QjQj@@@

92 Name: My name is Squeeks and ... : 1993-09-4643 03:10

| Θ
| MƒnL) Um... your fridge is all full of dead people.
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

93 Name: My name is Squeeks and ... : 1993-09-4643 04:54

@@@l@@@@@
@@iQ_j@@@@
@ iQQj @@@
@i QQ j@@@
@i@x@_ xj@<@I'm hungry. Where's the morgue in this place?
@i‚@@ ‚Β @@
@b b@|@@@@
@i_QjQj@@@

94 Name: My name is Squeeks and ... : 1993-09-4647 03:51

| Θ
|L₯ƒΦ₯) Squeeks is whinging about something again and he won't shut up
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

95 Name: My name is Squeeks and ... : 1993-09-4647 06:37

| Θ
|L₯ƒΦ₯) Why am I waiting for Squeeks in such a moe pose?
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

96 Name: My name is Squeeks and ... : 1993-09-4647 13:16

| Θ
|L₯ƒΦ₯) Maybe I should go back to work some day.
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

97 Name: My name is Squeeks and ... : 1993-09-4647 13:38

| Θ
|L₯ƒΦ₯) It looks like iichan didn't die on the table after all.
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

98 Name: My name is Squeeks and ... : 1993-09-4647 18:10

| Θ
|@₯ิƒΦ₯ิ) oops the fork wasn't supposed to go there!!!! sorry mister
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

99 Name: My name is Squeeks and ... : 1993-09-4647 19:15

| Θ
|@₯ิƒΦ₯ิ) Hey there pretty ladies.
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

100 Name: My name is Squeeks and ... : 1993-09-4647 20:49

| Θ
| ₯ƒŽ₯) 100GET!
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)

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