>>11 used to not be a panda, but repented his evil ways
This thread sucks.
>>20 is a VIP panda
>>24 oats shit and sloths
>>25
what kind of stupid thing to say is that, fucking panda
>>28 (Ailuropoda melanoleuca, "black-and-white cat-foot"; Chinese: 大熊貓, Hanyu Pinyin: Dàxióngmāo) is a mammal classified in the bear family, Ursidae, native to central-western and southwestern China.[1] It is easily recognized by its large, distinctive black patches around the eyes, over the ears, and across its round body. Though belonging to the order Carnivora, >>28 has a diet which is 99% bamboo. >>28 may eat other foods such as honey, eggs, fish and yams.
>>31 has a fetish for panda ankles and publishes a biannual magazine on the subject.
>>32 sends letters to the editor complaining about the lack of shaved panda ankles.
>>33's night ain't complete without panda meat in the seat
>>34 Was once a normal human with a panda fursona, up until that one strange night.
>>39 practices pandarasty
>>40 is the rare red panda, seen for the first time in this thread.
>>41 looked up red panda on urbandictionary.com, and now refuses to eat
>>42 was reading 'Red Pearl', but thought it said 'Red Panda' because he is a dyslexic panda.
>>46 giggles in delight whenever someone in the insult thread is called a panda.
>>47 sneers with disdain whenever someone in the insult thread is called a panda.
>>48 transforms from a human to a Panda when someone calls him a panda. If that panda is called a human, it becomes human again.
>>49 transforms from a Panda to an angry Panda when someone calls him a Panda.
In 1972 a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire >>53, who is a Panda and works for Bamboo.
DAILY INDIVIDUALITISM<
>>57 has Popeye's speech impedimenk. Which is odd, because pandas normally do not speak.
>>58
china lover
>>59 is restricted to a small area where the particular species of bamboo that makes up his entire diet grows.
>>60 goes all over the world, and packs a case full of the particular species of bamboo that makes up his entire diet with him when he leaves home.
>>62 does that instead, just to stand out from the crowd.
>>63 had two babies, and was forced to decide which one would live. Wisely, she chose the stronger of the two.
>>64 had two babies, and ate them because bamboo got dull.
>>65 Watched, and helped with the dishes afterwards.
>>67 is a Sexy Panda that poses in Playcub magazine and is known for the world's largest bamboo insertion ever.
>>68 is a Panda who believes in the eventual symbiosis between the various Panda communities around the globe
>>69 thinks the whole world is that one area in China where the right kind of bamboo grows.
>>70 Lacks an understanding of introduced species, and their ability to thrive in far away countries with similar climates, but with a lack of natural enemies.
>>72 tries to get Ranma to marry a girl he doesn't really like.
And when they opened the crate, >>73 was dead. TRUE STORY!
>>74 is a Panda that found a hole made for him at Pandamigara.
>>75 Is a Panda that became a Pandamorph because of its sexual fascination with humans.
>>76 is not a Panda, but desires greatly to become one someday.
>>77 Is not a Panda, but a Polar Bear with some black paint.
What's black and white and red all over?
>>83 after eating his bamboo with ketchup.
>>85 is a fucking pandaphobe, and should not be posting in this thread.
>>87 is to be euthanized after going on a bamboo-fueled rampage.
>>89 Is a panda in a Tanuki suit and is pressing down plus B.
>>93 is a panda whom is not suprised this thread has lasted this long.
Im looking for a bian dang box, it musnt be fen hong se (thats chinese for pink) or any womanly color. It must be of 2 or more jian ge (thats chinese for 2 compartment) and must be xiao (small). And must be huan huan (cute). Also It must be about 10-20 dollarz. And the seller must post pics of it first (i wanted to make shure it was huan huan [cute]). And it would have been nice if it came with matching chopstick holder (WITH chopsticks). OH! and it CANNOT have had any capitalist depictions, or been made out of animal products. It must be made of wood, or something like that. Also it would have be nice if it was made in china. and not in japan or corea (korea) or whatever. I have found a bian dang box similar to the one im describing in panda-bay, but it was 1 jian ge, and i didnt want my zhu (bamboo) to touch my other bamboo (it can get warm and i would not like that, plus 2 compartments looks more huan huan).
>>105 hopes someday to be a hypertext panda, but has not passed quality control yet.
>>107 got the highest mark in the Panda test in the history of Panda Academy
>>108 reprogrammed the Panda test so it was possible to save the bamboo.
>>112 can't afford a car and just rides a panda around.
>>114 can't afford a fursuit and just bodypaints around.
>>116 didn't manage to refer to the previous poster. Mind you, typing with paws isn't easy
>>117 pick fights with amateur boxers so he can get black rings around his eyes like a panda.
>>118 picks fights with eight-year-old girls so he can get black rings around his eyes like a panda.
>>119
Wears glasses and works in a coal mine to get black rings around his eyes like a Panda.
>>120 doesn't need to carry out any such tricks, because he is already a Panda
>>122 pudding.
>>130 Is a Panda with a 63 MHZ Pentium computer, the greatest accomplishment of 1993.
>>132 Is a grizzly bear, but appears to be a Panda, due to the ancient computer monitor he is displayed on.
>>133 Stole a guitar from the nearby "Democratic People's Guitar Works" but discovered that guitars were never designed to be played by panda paws.
>>135 is a panda who doesn't know when to discard an overused unfunny catchphrase.
>>137 doesn't know that the bitches are, in fact, pandas just like he is.
>>138 doesn't know how much he doesn't know.
Also, he's a panda.
>>140 has to be a panda because he doesn't breed well in captivity.
(´^ิω＾ิ)
>>144 Where's a panda's robes, but hasn't yet resolved the great matter.
>>149 confused this thread with "ITT We insult the poster above us", a characteristcally panda-ish mistake
>>153 is a panda with a fetish for latex and bamboo butt plugs
>>155 Has no left paw. It was amputated by the Chinese government in a campaign to silence writings about ideals not supported by The Party.
>>156 made a movie for SciFi of a panda killing teenagers at a rural lakeside camp. Given how ferocious pandas are, some of the kids died of old age.
>>160 is a panda that doesn't know how to preview tinyurl links.
>>161 is a panda who trusts links on anonymous message boards.
>>165 eat some fucking bamboo you communist bastard. Freedom is coming for you and it does not forgive.
>>166 is gonna poop the bombs out of you, in a bamboo forest
>>167 is holding up a sign that says "Don't look at me, I'm just a panda."
>>168 only has pseudo thumbs, and so cannot hold a sign without dropping it.
>>169 Prefers to shave his fur in special ways in order to form writings. However, since Pandas are illiterate, it looks like a dog and a cat fighting.
>>170 suffers from malnutrition, because bamboo suffers from inadequate nutritional value. And that's why his children were born retarded
>>172 constantly stuffs his fat panda face with Kellogg's Bamboo Puffs.
>>173 continues to perpetuate unhealthy body-images through ridicule. For Pandas.
I think >>174 is a pretty cool panda.
eh eats bamboo and doesn't afraid of anything.
>>175 is being voiced by Jack Black in Dreamwork's latest film.
人
（＿_）
（＿＿）
（ ＿＿ ）
（ ・∀・） ＜ My name is Squeeks and >>179 is a panda.
（つ つ
｜ ｜ |
（_＿）＿）
>>189 is black and white and read all over. Because he's a panda with a popular line of romance novels.
>>191 Lives in a monochromatic world.
Don't ask me how, but that makes him a panda.
>>192 is suspiciously unable to give details about his claims. Therefore he must be a panda.
>>197 thought too hard and had to take some bamboospirin to calm his panda headache.
>>199 is accusing of nonpandaness, so protective of panda status, showing him to be a panda.
200get.
>>202 has bad grammatical skills and therefore must be a panda.
DQN-kun, what does the scouter say about >>211's panda level ?
IT'S TOO MUCH BAMBOO FOR ONE HAND!
Also, >>212 is a panda fighting for his dreams.
>>226 is a supplier of panda related product, but isn't a panda.
>>227 just broke the chain of panda accusations. And is therefore probably a panda.
>>228 is a clever panda scheming to deflect suspicion from himself.
>>229 supports the council of bamboo deforestation awareness, simply so theres some bamboo left for his fat panda ass.
>>239 lives temporarily in the glorious Pandastan ambassy as a political refugee.
>>240's application for asylum in Pandastan was rejected by the Pandastani authorities.
>>241 is well versed in the elitist superstructure of Pandastani authorities.
>>246 is the default Panda entertainer from Rollercoaster Tycoon
>>247
HA! That's actually a human in a panda costume. Making such a simple mistake, you're clearly a panda.
>>252's fat furry paws are so short he's never touched himself
Because you touch yourself at night, >>253. And you're a panda.
>>260 ∈ { x in { x } : Panda(x) }
set theory makes life so simple dunnit
>>262 is the lead Panda from http://panda3d.net/
>>272 throws exception at other Pandas as a part of his circus act.
>>273 is a monadic panda returned by function pandadance :: Panda -> Panda -> Maybe Panda
>>274 designs clothing for pandas by pandas. Selling them under the brand FPBP.
>>278 is a puppy Panda. And by "puppy" I mean that he wears a fursuit.
>>280 is the Panda of Wind, guarding the crystal of the second dungeon.
>>285 is only eating the bamboo that humans don't want to eat.
>>286 is a panda who pretends to be a bear who pretends to be a panda.
"Not the cuddly wuddly panda!" you exclaim, possibly chewing on a gender neutral flax-soy bar. Well guess what? The panda is nature's loser, an animal so far gone that it won't even have sex without the aid of several Chinese zookeepers. When a species' sole responsibility is to "get busy" and it still doesn't bother, then we, as people who have to go to goddamn work every day, lose sympathy.
Speaking as men, we can tell you--when an animal has lost interest in its own penis, it wants to die. Scientists are considering cloning the species, but when you've got a room full of super-biologists stuck photocopying an animal that was too stupid to exist the first time, it isn't going to be long before they start thinking: "We could build a far better panda--with four arms! And laser vision! And neon pink! And isn't mystified by its own genitals!"
Pandas might be doing it themselves (by not doing it themselves), but as long as they have the "awww big teddy weddy bear!" appeal people are going to keep them around. But we know the secret that will truly encourage their extinction: they're carnivores. The cute color scheme blinds people to the fact that it's still a couple hundred pounds of goddamned bear.
Bamboo is their depression comfort food since they've become too slow and fat to hunt anything but firmly rooted plants, but they'll still eat any small animals they get their paws on. We have a plan to stop all the panda-pandering. We can't get into it now, but it involves a zoo, a basket of puppies, and a YouTube account.
>>299 is Pandamandius, King of Pandas. Look upon his bamboo, ye mighty, and despair.
>>312 Was locked up the the Pandahar prison because he attempted to have sex with a panda cub.
>>322
Was eating pandas during 4ch's downtown.
Also, he is a cannibal
>>332 visits a prostitute and asks if he can perform oral sex on her. The prostitute agrees and >>332 goes ahead. When he's finished >>332 gets up and walks out. The prostitute yells: "Hey, you forgot to pay". >>332 walks back in, takes a dictionary from the shelf and shows her the definition of Panda: "A Panda is an animal that eats bush and leaves".
>>334 is supportive to the plight of Iraq in a way that only a panda can be.
>>335 works towards a free Tibet for the sake of his fellow pandas.
>>337 can't help but rumble in a sexy pandalike fashion whenever an attractive pandette passes his way.
>>338 Bit into a green plastic pipe, because he is a Panda with weak eyesight.
panda, panda, panda, panda, pan
panda!
panda, panda, panda, panda, pan
china!
panda, panda, panda, panda, pan
i like!
I admit it.
I am a Panda.
I'm an endangered black and white bastard.
I eat barely digestible bamboo for most of my waking life to make up for my refusal to eat meat.
I have been raised in a cage for the entertainment of primates and as such couldn't manage to enact coitus with a female panda if she pressed her genitals against my face.
But I can't help myself dammit, it's just the way I am.
With such limited reasoning, I conclude that >>346 has a brain the size of a Panda brain.
>>349 carried the Panda Olympics' torch through several of his panda towns.
>>350 applied for the job of carrying the panda torch but withdrew when he found out there would be no bamboo breaks.
When I was young they told us that >>351 was a great man. They said he defeated our enemies, that he won the war and made our people safe again. They said he was a genius. They said he was a hero.
Now I know he was a panda.
WHEN I WAS
A YOUNG PANDA
>>352
TOOK ME INTO THE CITY
TO SEE A PANDA BAND
>>353 Can't play guitar hero because Panda paws are really lame.
>>355 Was kicked out of a fur convention when others realized that the Panda-like appearance was not a disguise.
>>357 caused an earthquake in a futile attempt at escaping the Sichuan Giant Panda Sanctuary.
>>358 is the thunder panda that brought calamity upon Myanmar
Pyo, pyo, pyo...
I like Pandas, pyo.
By the Previous Poster is a Panda Theorem (PPP Theorem), >>368 is a panda.
>>372 Is a Panda shot by greenpeace for eating an endangered species of bamboo.
is a kung fu panda
>>374 is the disney marketing panda that came up with the premise of that film.
>>384 is the greatest, best panda God has ever given man on the face of the Earth.
>>385 is a panda that caused all other pandas to not want to mate that often
>>393 used to eat meat, but then inexplicably changed diets to pure bamboo, which it has a hell of a time digesting.
>>394 used to eat pure bamboo, but now he settles for the processed garbage.
>398 is enslaved in a plantation deep in Xinjiang for the purpose of milking panda bile, a traditional aphrodisiac
＿ ＿
/::::::;ゝ-──- ､._/::::::ヽ
ヾ-"´ ＼::::::|
/ ヾﾉ
,,.r/ ＿ノ ヽ＿ ヽ
,'::;'| /:::::ヽ /::::::ヽ |
l:::l l （:::::::・ﾉ ▼ ヽ・:::::） l
|::ヽ` ､ U （_人_） /
}:::::::ヽ!`ｰ ､_ ／
{:::::::::::::::::::::::::::.ー―――''"´
'三三ﾐﾄ､::::::::::::::i＾i三三/
｀ｰ--' ヽ:::::::::::ｌ l;;;;::::ノ
`ｰ-"
OMG!!!!!! OP IS ACTUALLY A REAL PANDA!!!!
>>416 uses his penis to type, because he's not using it for anything else, being a Panda and all
>>417 uses her vagina as a bank vault, since Pandas don't know what they are supposed to do with it.
>>418 is a mammal classified in the bear family (Ursidae), native to central-western and southwestern China. >>418 was previously thought to be a member of the Procyonidae (raccoons and their relatives). >>418 is easily recognized by its large, distinctive black patches around the eyes, over the ears, and across its round body. Though belonging to the order Carnivora, >>418 has a diet which is 99% bamboo. >>418 may eat other foods such as honey, eggs, fish, yams, shrub leaves, oranges, and bananas when available.
A girl died in 1993 by a homicidal panda. He impaled her on a bamboo stalk when she was still alive. The panda chanted, "Toma sota balcu" as he impaled her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will impale you like she was impaled. If you post this, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.
>>435 Is a Panda who's paws never leave a Plastation Dual SHock controller.
>>436 is developing the Pandastation, a console designed exclusively for pandas.
>>441 has a website dedicated to proving that pandas are a mystical source of renewable energy
>>443 went on a worldwide quest to collect the pandaballs, but got bored and stuffed himself on bamboo instead.
>>446 was playing on his best friend's Gamecube, until he realised he was a panda.
>>446 is the best friend, also a panda, whom assumed that a bamboo tree was a gamecube
is a Panda that formed an alliance with that other famous animal that is only found in certain parts of China.
>>465 Is a panda who doesn't know which panda its talking about.
Look, I don't even have to bother explaining myself. Just read >>466's post, its painfully obvious he's a panda.
>>474 Is a Panda that tried to vote in the 2000 election, but his vote wasn't counted correctly, because panda paws can't punch out holes in a card.
>>475 Calls himself the Expanda, but nobody is sure what it means. A panda getting fatter, or a Panda that had trans-species surgery are the two most common guesses.
>>476 has a day job as a sign-waver outside the local psychiatric center. In fact, signs are his only form of communication.
>>477 had fallen into a cursed spring, and is thus cursed to be a panda upon coming into contact with cold water.
>>486 is the same panda that makes up every post in this thread.
>>487
Is the panda that reads all the posts on this thread; except for the post he made.
>>489 contains a fermion-panda and a boson-panda, thus he is a perfectly symmetrical panda.
>>494 is a panda's best friend, who is also a panda's father and a panda's uncle, in addition to being a panda himself.
>>495 would understand those sort of panda-related issues because he is in fact a panda himself
