Anyways, >>1, please listen to me. That it's really related to this thread.
I went to >>769-san's house a while ago; you know, >>769-san?
Well anyways there was an insane amount of bamboo there, and I could barely open the door.
Then, I looked in his fridge, in the kitchen, and it had bamboo in it.
Oh, the stupidity. That idiot.
You, don't put bamboo in the fridge just because it's edible, fool.
It's only bamboo, I bet it doesn't even go off for crying out loud.
There're even black eyeshadow in his bedroom. Eyeshadow, for blackening the area around your eyes, huh? How fucking nice.
"Alright, I'm gonna be a panda." God I can't bear to watch.
You, I'll give you some kind of virtual reality if you just stop embarrassing yourself.
Being a panda shouldn't be a desirable thing.
That meaningless lifestyle, where a panda in a bamboo forest spends its entire life doing nothing,
the terminally sedate mentality, that's why pandas are an endangered species.
People who think they're "cute" should screw off and stay home.
Anyways, I was about to leave, and then >>769-san goes "Mreeeh, mreeeeh, I'm a panda."
Who in the world do you think you're fooling, you moron?
I want to ask him, "Do you REALLY think pandas make noises like that?"
I want to interrogate him. I want to interrogate him for roughly an hour.
Are you sure you don't just want to pretend to be another species for attention?
Coming from a panda impersonator veteran such as myself, the best way of dealing with them is this, punching them in the face.
That's right, punching them in the face. This is the most time efficient solution.
Punching them in the face means they might reconsider their way of life. But on the other hand the police may get involved.
This is the key.
And then, they'll give up trying to be a panda. This is best for everyone.
However, if you aren't careful then there is a danger that you'll just give them a victim complex; it's a double-edged sword.
I can't recommend it to amateurs.
What this all really means, though, is that you, >>771, can just fuck right off if you were about to accuse me of being a panda.
>>771 has been a panda for 2,008 days, or nearly five and a half years.
>>774 is a mathematician panda who is far more interested in the beauty of complex differential equations than that of female members of his species.
>>775 Would rather play all 999 games on all 100 of his fake Famicom things than have pandasex.
>>780
Is an elite hacker panda that has r00ted every server on the i'net.
>>784 is a traitor panda, known for being the right-hand man of Augustus Platypus, a tyrant platypus dictator hellbent on destroying the panda civilization as we know it.
>>788 passed his panda diploma with flying colours. Because he's a panda.
>>795 saw http://www.poweringsocialmedia.com/blog/wp-content/uploads//2012/05/Panda-Farmer-Google-cartoon.jpg and exclaimed "It's so true!" and set it as his desktop wallpaper
>>797's biological father is a panda, as is his biological mother.
>>800 Bought and wore a mask so people thought he wasn't a panda. Too bad he didn't have enough Yuan to buy the entire costume.
>>803 is an evil panda who wants to enslave all humanity and force them to provide him with a constant stream of bamboo shoots.
>>804 is basically just a black and white bear
... with a VENGEANCE
A computer algorithm designed to recognise pandas by their style of posting on the internet returned a 97% probability of pandahood upon analysing >>808.
>>813 Bought fake udders from a gift shop and pretended to be a Holstein cow. Too bad pandas can't say "moo."
>>814 went on a quest to find a panda. Little did he know, he was a panda all along!
>>816 suspiciously uses BitCoin to purchase bamboo from China over the internet.
If >>821 ever comes into contact with an antipanda, they will both annihilate in a spray of gamma rays.
Many people take photos of >>822 and then make stupid comments.
Stop trying to change the subject, >>829! We know you're really the panda.
>>834 doesn't need a certificate to show he's a panda; it's obvious.
>>836 is the only animal from China that westerners think about.
>>840 have been killed in a drunken fist fight in his last life\his dead face resembling a panda!\thus he was reborn as one.
>>846 shaved itself to pass off as a fat human. And it worked.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/5/5b/Pandas_playing_640x480.ogv
>>850 is the one on the right.
>>851 Keeps people from entering exhentai.org without a password
>>853 ate my Wacom Bamboo tablet and complained about bitter taste.
>>856
I-is this an espeon? Is it a cat-panda? You're a cat-panda!
>>868 is either a man dreaming of being a panda or a panda dreaming of being a man.
>>872 is a were-panda, cursed to assume the form of a panda-like creature every full moon.
>>873 is a silly panda who likes to think it's cute when he sticks bamboo shoots in his ears, but really everyone is tired of his shit. Every day it gets harder to force themselves to laugh.
>>885 looks, talks and behaves suspiciously much like a panda.
The sixth sheik's sixth sheep's sick, but >>890 is a panda so it doesn't matter to him.
>>892 dropped out of university to pursue his dream of panda-ness.
>>897 is quite clearly a panda; you can tell by the shape of the antennae and the patterning on the hindwings.
>>900 is a panda who was too busy eating bamboo to seize the 900GET.
>>901 is a sexy panda who enjoys cuddling, eating bamboo, and long walks along the riverbank.
Can you believe how much of a panda >>904 is? It's outrageous!
>>910 annoyed a lot of Warcraft dorks by his inclusion in WoW.
>>914 Has the correct ratio of black fur to white fur to be a Panda.
For his outstanding contributions to the international panda community, >>922 was awarded the coveted title of Honorary Panda.
V unq gb rapbqr guvf zrffntr va n gbc frperg plcure orpnhfr gur snpg gung >>924 vf n cnaqn vf n fgngr frperg.
>>937 supports himself off a video that went viral someone took of him sneezing ... i'm so envious ...
>>938 appears in the brains of people with Wilson's disease.
http://www.neurology.org/content/61/7/969/F2.expansion.html
I had a decorative bamboo plant inside my house, but >>941 broke in and ate it.
In the greater scheme of things, >>949 is nothing but a panda.
Aeons come and go, stars live and die, but >>952 will forever be a panda.
Pandas came and went
>>955 often lies awake at night wondering if maybe, deep down, he might be a panda.
Im looking for a panda, it cant be akai (thats japanese for red) or any Ailuridae color. It has to be of 2 or more iro (thats japanese for 2 colours) and has be be kyodai (giant) sized. And has to be really kawaii (cute). Also It has to be between >>957 and >>959. And you have to post pics of it first (i want to make shure it's kawaii [cute]). And it would be nice if it came with matching bamboo holder (WITH bamboo). OH! and it CANNOT have any libido, or be making baby pandas. It has to be celibate, or something like that. Also it would be nice if it was made in japan. and not in china or corea (korea) or whatever. I have found a panda similar to the one im describing in e-bay, but it was 1 iro, and i dont want my kuro (black parts) to cover the whole surface (it can get lost in the dark and i would not like that, plus 2 colours looks more kawaii)
Under the IUPAC nomenclature, the official name of >>965 is "a panda".
01000101 01110110 01100101 01110010 01111001 00100000 01100010 01101001 01110100 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01100100 01100001 01110100 01100001 00100000 01110010 01100101 01110000 01110010 01100101 01110011 01100101 01101110 01110100 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 00111110 00111110 00111001 00110110 00110111 00100000 01110011 01100011 01110010 01100101 01100001 01101101 01110011 00100000 01110000 01100001 01101110 01100100 01100001 00101110 00100000
Please disregard >>968, he is a panda who likes unnecessarily bloated encodings.
>>969 is a lobster. Wait, no panda! I meant panda! I'm always getting those two mixed up.
Like, oh my god, >>971 is literally a panda! Can you believe it?
>>976 looks like a panda, he walks like a panda, but he can't speak because he is a panda
>>977
Is purportedly the gatekeeper for a large amount of free lolicon porn, but no one has ever gotten past him to find out.
>>978 was a panda in the past and will be a panda in the future.
>>979
Has 50% chance of being a black panda with white spots and another 50% chance of being a white panda with black spots.
>>983 is constantly malnourished because they only eat the worst part of the bamboo, making procreating difficult and most pregnancies are self-terminated due to stress, a mistake of nature and evolution that has all this effort and money go into keeping them alive because tbey're "cute" and a symbol of a nation.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
The previous poster
Belongs in a zoo
>>989 avoids the topic of pandas as if he had something to hide.
Something like his panda heritage!
>>990 doesn't beat around the bush! Unless it's a bamboo bush, in which case he beats around it trying to find the tastiest part.
>>996 wants to show the world what a panda is truly capable of.