Lessons from Porn - Expert knowledge collection! (112)

1 Name: Hugo Boulles : 1993-09-5056 23:09

4-ch shines with the collection of stuff we really know about. Feel free to add.

-women generally wear high heeled shoes in bed
-nurses in hospitals do not need to have similar uniforms at all
-there is a holy sequence of order in copulation which is always the same. Therefore the good part always starts around halfway of the movie.
-all women without exception are thrilled if you squirt over their clean clothes or hair.
-as long as women get pleasured they are unaware or do not care about the gender of her partner(s)
-about fifty percent of all women do not wear panties
-there exists no such woman that uses tampons.

63 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5068 11:21

wait wait wait. my subway does not offer chili sauce or butter. what do i do? also, is half-sized 6 inch or half of a 6 inch?

64 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5068 19:27

There are fat Japanese women, but they never have sex with guys, they just sit on them until the guy gets hurt. http://jams.kir.jp FTW

65 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5068 19:35

Girls don't poop. Their assholes can be streched 3 inches across, and not a hint of brown is in there.

66 Name: meta knowledge : 1993-09-5068 19:53

  • If it exists, there is porn of it.
  • One man's disgust is another man's fetish.
  • There is no such thing as too much porn.

67 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5070 01:14

>>63
The moment they hear those key words, they start the secret ritual.

68 Name: 59 : 1993-09-5070 10:52

>>67 is correct. The point is to submit the correct code, the resulting sandwich is of lesser importance.

69 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5072 14:05

-Men are never impotent.
-When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.
-If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.
-Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.
-Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.
-Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.
-Women always orgasm when men do.
-A blowjob will always get a woman out of a speeding fine.
-All women are noisy fucks.
-People in the 70's couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.
-A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.
-Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.
-If there are two of them they "high five" each other.(and the girl isn't disgusted!)
-Double penetration makes women smile. (And DVDA really makes them tickled pink)
-If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.
-When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the butt.
-Nurses suck patients' cocks.
-Men always pull out.
-When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the both of you.
-Women never have headaches... or periods.
-When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it".
-A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.
-Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a cock there.
-Men don't have to beg.
-When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.

70 Name: Torino Grandsenhor : 1993-09-5072 19:38

>>69 wow! very true, most of them. Truly expert knowledge, And a very watchful eye.

-men may also place both hands on the womans head when she blows.
-women will also frequently say 'fuck me' when she clearly already has a big bone in her cunt pumping wildly. I'm unsure whether this is an invitation to keep going on, or whether the confirmation is to make herself understand what's happening and to gain the illusion of being in control.
-not every nurse sucks cock, but night-nurses do by definition.
-regarding the woman caught masturbating by a strange man, she will in fact only be happy that she can get real meat, but she'll fake embarrassment sometimes.

71 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5072 19:59

If the situation calls for it, every man is gay and every woman is a lesbian.

72 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5072 20:01

> STD

This is not a consequence of sex why did you say it

73 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5073 10:56

-Anal sex seems to be as easy as normal penetration. Also, the female anus and lower colon are naturally clean and there is no objection to taking a penis into mouth that has been inside a womans ass for a while.

74 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5073 11:38

Lube is never necessary.

75 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5073 12:15

Nobody ever gets cramps.

76 Name: Jacky Fontana : 1993-09-5075 23:03

Black people have penises long enough to touch their knees with

77 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5075 23:48

If a spaceship is manned by an all female crew, a tentacle-d monster is surely lying in wait somewhere on said ship. For rape.

78 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5076 00:03

The girl always gets only 1 orgasm, always at the same time as the guy, and always announces it clearly.

79 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5076 00:58

If you are a guy, and you happen to find yourself in a women-only building, you will be sexed by multiple girls. If you look nerdy, you will be sexed by multiple girls until you pass out and can't tell if you were dreaming, or if something really happened.

80 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5077 20:43

Bottles have a purpose. Putting something inside bottles... is the world upside down.

81 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5089 02:34

bump

82 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5089 04:53

>>81
That is not a lesson learned from porn why did you say it

83 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5089 20:12

>>78
And amazingly enough the orgasm seems intimately connected to the act of ejaculating; if the male character is wearing a condom at the time, his female counterpart will certainly be left wanting.

84 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5089 20:29

>>83 In the rare event that the female gets an orgasm before the guy(s), the male(s) will use it as blackmail against her. She'll be very ashamed for being such a slut.

85 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5089 22:12

  • There is no such thing as rape, because the female starts wanting it shortly after the male puts it in.
  • If you have enough sex with a girl, she'll eventually become your sex starved slave.

86 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5091 12:50

pee tastes good.

87 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5122 17:44

shit tastes delicious

88 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5122 20:04

Cum is mana from heaven.

89 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5126 18:40

>>87
But it only comes out of Germans and Japanese. Other nationalities don't produce it.

90 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5127 00:13

nurses are remarkably good looking for their meagre pay, and their working environment proves to be unexpectedly varied.

I have seen various miraculous recoveries of male patients, frequently with various, apparently severe bone fractures, due to the healing medicine of lust and tight pussy. In fact, so strong is the power of the flesh that even rather exotic positions can be attained relatively easy.

91 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5127 00:27

All wrestling matches end up with something sticking into some hole regardless of gender or sexuality.

92 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5133 23:43

All girls will find a camera, and stare at it like they are taking a family picture at K Mart while being reamed savagely.

93 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5133 23:58

Tasers work differently in Japan than in the rest of the world. The girl will always go limp and pass out, and wake up an hour later in bondage, ready for sex.

94 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5134 03:16

Now matter how cool you think you are with porn, there is a fetish to make you vomit.
And someone will be turned on when you do.

95 Name: Easyma Careera : 1993-09-5165 06:43

Creampie will never taste the same anymore

96 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5165 07:04

Every woman no matter how young or old loves the cock.

97 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5165 10:36

Girls generally can't wait to become 18 and have their tender hips strewn around some heavy mans' waist and their just-now legal lower body ravaged by a huge bone. Camming it just heightens their tension.

98 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5165 18:21

Young boys are all build like horses. Those rare ones who aren't can bring to orgasm women three times their size with little effort.

99 Name: meijin : 1993-09-5166 23:37

and young boy are all ways tricked into a "horse show"

100 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5167 02:22

The average male penis is between 8-10 inches and the average bra size is 36DD.

101 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5167 03:00

Hermaphrodites (futanari) have no balls but can spurt semen like forever.

102 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5167 03:17

There's no point in using lubrication during buttsex. Ever.

(also >>101 you silly wabbit, semen doesn't come from the balls. Sperm cells do, but that's like 1% of the entire emission.)

103 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5167 19:37

There's a time for this and a time for that. Also there's always time for sex, especially if a cameraman is present.

104 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5168 07:11

We're discussing penises, would you care to join?

105 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5170 01:05

All lesbians secretly want the cock, and instantly become bisexual the moment a well-hung man enters the room.

106 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5170 01:05

All lesbians are femme. Butch lesbians are a myth, and do not exist.

107 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5175 21:45

It is not uncommon for your penis to suddenly warp from vagina hole to ass hole and your partner will be totally unphased by this switch.

108 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5519 03:16

For a man that needs sex with multiple anonymous partners, pizza delivery is one of the best career choices.

109 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5519 06:11

If your shower is broken, go to the incredibly attractive girl next door's house. She'll be alone, horny, and let you use her shower.

110 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5519 06:57

>>109
Actually that is a real thing. My friend tried it on five different dorms, and after talking his way out of being reported on the first four tries, this horrendously disgusting but nevertheless member of the female species accepted his offer.

111 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5525 16:31

No matter how many dicks they take, all women's vaginas are eternally tight.

112 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5526 00:42

>>111 But whenever necessary, a 3 liter wine bottle will fit.

Name: Link:
Leave these fields empty (spam trap):
More options...
Verification: