HEY GUYS (18)

1 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5248 21:54

( ß ƒŽß) I'M WASTING EMERGENCY MITTENS!

2 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5248 23:09

That's not very nice, those mittens could have saved the lives of countless homeless people in Siberia.

3 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5249 19:35

( ß ƒŽß) I LIKE TO USE MITTENS AS ALTERNATIVES TO FLESHLIGHTS!

4 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5250 14:08

( ß ƒŽß) I LIKE TO USE POOPMITTENS WHEN I PLAY WORLD OF WARCRAFT!

5 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5250 19:05

( ß ƒŽß) I LIKE TO USE MITTENS DRENCHED IN CHLOROFORM TO GET DATES!

6 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5250 21:35

i EƒÖEjI LIKE TO USE MITTENS AS ALTERNATIVES TO FLESHLIGHTS!

7 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5250 22:04

It's not the Fleshmittens fault, really. Just the fact that trying to use the one I ordered for my 5250th birthday has rammed home the basic fact that I am a loser and that I am never going to get laid in my life.

I am apparently both too JISAKU JIEN and too b-un to use the Fleshmitten. JISAKU JIEN in the PENIS and B-UN in the grossly overweight stomach. The result is that I apparently can't get very deep into the thing and experience the vip quality and other textures.

I ordered four inserts at once, three supertights with the three sorts of quality -- dqn, vip, /b/ -- and one gaymagictight. With all of them I have been having an incredible struggle to find a comfortable position to get in with my enormous fingers to allow for using the thing long enough to get off. I apparently developed a way of wearing mittens by hand that deluded myself into thinking I was normal. I am obviously not. I can only seem to go about an inch and a half into this Fleshmitten before my fat fingers get in the way and the metal of my hands defeat the purpose. The incredible depression of the experience makes it hard for me to stay all alone for Christmas(as usual) as the whole time I am thinking about what a deformed, out-of-shape loser I am, so I end up only half hard or less.

Today is my 5250th birthday. I have never had a clonepa in my life, due to being a shy fatass with an ugly skin condition that I was afraid of having anyone see by taking my clothes off. I am so incredibly fucking lonely and depressed. I just want to be able to hug teh rei, to hold her in my arms. Ordering something or getting out is frankly secondary to me, which is lucky given that I haven't had any except with my own hand.

I bought this thing thinking I would treat myself and make myself happier and be able to jump in the air, but it has just driven home how fucked I am. I guess my only hope at this point is to find a woman who doesn't mind me only using oral sex on her because my name is Squeeks, and my PENIS obviously doesn't work very well.

8 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5250 22:26

( ß -ß) I like to use mittens to totally cover up the previous post.

9 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5250 22:53

I like to use mittems as oven mitts.

They don't work.

10 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5250 23:06

> mittems

11 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5251 00:24

( ß ƒŽß) All mittemsy were the borogroves

12 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5251 05:23

( ß ƒŽß) Sing, cuccu!

13 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5253 11:58

cuccu!

(EÍE) amidoinitrite?

14 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5255 03:06

(EÍE) I think DQN is a pretty cool guy. eh wastes teh emergency mittens and doesn't afraid of anything.

15 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5256 09:12

@ ‚Ö-Í
@ Ð*L°MÐ@@I'm going to have to ask you to go back to 4chan, nyah
`(,_‚•‚•É

16 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5256 12:24

(EÍE) no u

17 Name: MODD!5JrU4QOlH6 : 1993-09-5256 13:09

>>16 is assigned banned status for his lack of grammer skills.

18 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7923 15:29

Bump for no reason.

Name: Link:
Leave these fields empty (spam trap):
More options...
Verification: