ITT we use DQN as a answering machine (148)

1 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5297 14:24

NTT MESSENGING SERVICE
NOW PLAYING ALL MESSAGES

99 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5359 23:00

BEEP

Hey this is Rei, did you stop by my house and clean up while I was not there again? I don't want you doing that anymore and stay the fuck away from me you asshole

BEEP

100 Name: A Panda : 1993-09-5359 23:52

BEEP

100GET

BEEP

101 Name: ( 0 ヮ0) : 1993-09-5360 01:44

BEEP

Hey DQN, it's me, the Fail. Yeah, I'm just hanging out, startin shitty threads, you know, the usual.

If ya wanna talk, you can just check the front page. I'm usually hangin out there.

BEEP

102 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5372 14:22

<BEEP>

Hello, this is NTT MESSENGING SERVICE and we will be cutting you off today. You haven't paid any of the bills in days. Thank you for using our service. お休み GOODBYE!

</BEEP>

103 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5373 20:36

BEEP

Never visit http://tinyurl.com/6zkfqj

BEEP

104 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5380 20:40

<BEEP>

Hello, this is NTT again and thank you for your payment. Your account has been upgraded to 1K GET Members Only account. Enjoy Your new messenger service! HOLLA BACK!

</BEEP>

105 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5380 23:45

BEEP

Shadow's been stalking me. The last time I saw him, he was dressed in drag! What the fuck?!

*BEEP

106 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5380 23:57

>>103
NEVER POST THAT FUCKING LINK EVER AGAIN

107 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5381 00:05

>>106 http://tinyurl.com/6zkfqj

108 Name: BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS : 1993-09-5381 02:29

BEEP

Hello, this is Duke. I heard your line was tapped so i will speak in code.
33 2 8 7777 44 444 8 2 66 3 3 444 33

BEEP

109 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5381 10:21

BEEP

Your answering machine produces two beeps between each message. Have you ever wondered what mysteries lies between them? Well, don't. If you entertain the question for more than 33 seconds, then the next night, at 3:33:33, you will die.

You know what's coming next...

BEEP

110 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5381 20:41

>>107
DON'T! FUCK YOU

111 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5382 00:22

BEEP
Hi, uh, Squeeks, this is #6. I met you at the, um, at the Yoshinoya tonight. I just called to say that I had a great time... and you should call me tomorrow, or in two days, whatever. Anyway, my number is 376-555-5382-BEEP

BEEP
Hi, Squeeks, this is #6 again. I just called cuz it sounded like your machine might've cut me off when I, before I finished leaving my number. Anyway, uh, and, y'know, and also, sorry to call so late, but you were still at the Yoshinoya when I left so I knew I'd get your machine. Anyhow, uh, my number's 37-BEEP

BEEP
376-555-5382. That's it. I just wanna leave my number. I didn't want you to think I was weird or desperate, or... we should just hang out and see where it goes cuz it's nice and, y'know, no expectations. Ok? Thanks a lot. Bye bye.BEEP

BEEP
I just got out of a 2190 day relationship, Ok? That should help explain why I'm acting so weird. I just wanted you to know that. It's not you, it's me. I'm sorry... This is #6.BEEP

BEEP
Hi, Squeeks, this is #6. Could you just call me when you get in? I'm gonna be up for awhile and I'd just rather speak to you in person instead of trying to fit it all into-BEEP - Fuck!

BEEP
Uh, Squeeks? #6. It's uh, uh, it's just, uh, this just isn't working out. I think you're great, but maybe we should just take some time off from each other. It's not you, it's me. It's what I'm going through, alright? It's uh... it's only been 2190

*click*

（ ・-・） Number Six?

（　・∀・）Squeeks? Great! Did you just walk in or were you listening all along?

（ ・-・） Don't ever call me again.

*click*

（　・∀・）Wow. I guess you're home.

112 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5383 18:19

BEEP

Great. Shadow's threatening to assrape me. Help.

BEEP

113 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5384 17:09

BEEP

Hi, this is John from Morgan Mittens International. We've received an order for one million sets of mittens by someone using the name "security kitten." Can you please call us back to follow up on this? Our number's 1-800-MITTENS.

Thank you for your interest.

CLICK
BEEP

114 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5388 01:51

BEEP

OH GOD SHADOW'S FUCKING ASSRAPING ME HALP! AHHN AHHHHN!

BEEP

115 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5388 06:01

BEEP

Squeeks, I'm afraid we will have remove the "Emergency Mittens" button, as we cannot continue supplying it with more mittens. People are selfishly using this button for their own personal gain, and we can no longer afford to continue this service.

BEEP

116 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5414 05:19

BEEP

ehhrg. ohh...

Fuck you Squeeks, now hes thinking of marrying me. t t

BEEP

117 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5414 09:19

BEEP
Hey, are you coming into work today?
You haven't been in for a week..
I miss you...
BEEP

118 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5417 06:44

BEEP
Wake up Neo.

Neo?
BEEP

119 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5422 00:45

BEEP

Hi this message is for your administrator.

Your shipment of 1000 bamboo sticks has just arrived, we'll be holding them until Monday, if you want to pick them up just come by at the usual time, ok thanks.

BEEP

120 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5422 00:49

BEEP

This is a collect call from
(long pause...)

KANEDDAAA!!

If you would like to accept this call, please press 1...

BEEP

121 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5424 00:35

BEEP

TETSUOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

BEEP

122 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5424 09:08

BEEP

beep beep beep beep tooootooo tweet

hehe

BEEP

123 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5424 13:09

BEEP

Go to hell

BEEP----------> PONG

124 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5424 13:44

BEEP

what the fuck do you think you're doing not wearing a condom

you're going to get her pregnant i swBEEP

125 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5425 02:56

beep
just testing, don't mind me
beep

126 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5425 03:46

Beep
Snake? Snake?
SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA--Beep

127 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5431 03:53

BEEP

Squeeks, I left the emergency mittens on all night on accident and they're everywhere now. Give me a call, I know you know how to fix this.

BEEP

128 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5431 15:47

Beep

Attack on US is imminent! Prepare to taste our new Shahab 8 missiles! WARGHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

Beep

129 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5431 15:49

Beep

Oh yes......oh yes....YESSSSSS!!!!

Beep

130 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5431 15:51

Beep

This your god calling. I didn't see you at Vatican, wat u doin??

Beep

131 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5431 15:52

Beep

Gojira......gojira.....gojiraaaaa......argh.....

Beep

132 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5432 07:50

Beep

free cool ringtones!

Beep

133 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5435 10:00

BEEP
Hi, this is day care and we still have your kids here.
Its been two days.
We are calling child services.
LEARN TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR KIDS BITCH
BEEP

134 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5435 14:48

BEEP

I don't think I can make it. I'm dying you have to save

BEEP

135 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5435 17:07

BEEP

get a bigger Pen 15 2Day!

BEEP

136 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5436 02:24

BEEP

AMERICA

BEEP

137 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5436 08:33

BEEP

RUCKY CHANNERU!!!!

OAHARAYAKI ^^^!!!!

BEEP

138 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5436 08:35

BEEP

YOU SUX! (has a children laugh at background)

BEEP

139 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5436 11:43

BEEP

Hi, it's your neighbor, Mr. Wallington.
Would you please put curtains on your window because we see you naked in your living room every morning and it's disturbing.

BEEP

140 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5443 16:44

BEEP

(in all seriousness) We may need you to play twing-twang.

BEEP

141 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5446 13:51

BEEP

Oh god! We didn't think it was possible for something of this magnitude to be achieved! I... Wait, what is it doing? It's coming straight for us! Squeeks! Sqqueee-

click

Hello? Oh, the noise? I was just... uh... playing Doom 4.
Does your brain taste good?
I mean, well, you know what I mean! Just jokes and all!

BEEP

142 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5960 11:57

YEAH!

143 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7542 22:44

BEEP

144 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7542 22:46


　　　　　| ＼
　　　　　|Д｀)　　　Nobody answering?
　　　　　|⊂　　　　　I can dance!
　　　　　|

　　　　　♪　　☆
　　　♪　　　／ ＼　　　 RANTA TAN
　　　　　　ヽ(´Д｀;)ﾉ 　　RANTA TAN
　　 　 　　　 (　 へ) 　　　RANTA RANTA
　 　 　 　 　　く 　　　　　　TAN

　　　♪　　　　☆
　　　　　♪　／ ＼　　　RANTA RANTA
　　　　　　ヽ（;´Д｀）ﾉ　　RANTA TAN
　　 　 　　　 (へ　 ) 　　　RANTA TANTA
　 　 　 　 　　　　 >　　　　TAN

145 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8102 19:45

BEEP

Lucky prize is waiting you. Call 00 33 1 78 56 95 60 to us give prize you !

BEEP

146 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8102 22:59

BEEP

I know you're there. Pick up. Pick up. Pick up.
...

BEEP

147 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8394 06:01

BEEP

Hi grandma it's (*ﾟーﾟ), just calling to see how you're doing. Did you still want me to come over saturday and help you spread mulch? Call me back when you get a chance, love you!

BEEP

148 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8394 10:23

BEEP

--AYDAY MAYDAY WE ARE GOING DOWN OH GOD TELL MY WAIFU I LOVE H--

BEEP

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