Rant thread (21)

1 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5747 01:59

I fucking hate football. Goddamn this shit pisses me off. A bunch of goddamn neanderthals running around, bashing the fuck out of each other, with the sole purpose of gettin a suppository-esque ball to the other fucking side of a shitlong section of greenery. The commercialism, the slutty cheerleaders, the dumb as fuck audience, every single last bit of it fills me with rage until I overflow. Remember when America's sport was Baseball? For fuck's sake, even I think it may have just been a dream. There was a pleasant atmosphere in baseball. Sure it may have also just revolved around scoring points, but at least there was order, there was structure, there was intelligence in the game not like this HAND ME THE BALL AND SHUT THE FUCK UP shit. Every player was a lean, mean, fighting machine, and on top of that, was essential, the game revolved around TRUE team effort and planning. Physical injury? Fuck, it was a blue moon when anybody actually hurt anyone, even more so intentionally, at least compared to football. There were no cheersluts, people cheered when their team scored and calmed down when they were playing, and commercialism was relatively limited, again, at least compared to football, which television stations completely revolve around on sundays and they show the worst lowest denominator shit, too. Remember "Baseball, Mom, and Apple Pie"? Fuck no you don't. Even I can't remember when this shit was last apparent. Now it's "Football, Sex, and Apple iPods". GODDAMNIT! This shit is why games suck so much ass now: Because all of these dumbass cavemen are glorified, intelligence is shunned upon, and the underdog can't get an upper hand or, if nothing more, even just a bone tossed to him.

2 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5747 03:56

Not funny enough for DQN. gb2/VIP/

3 Name: : 1993-09-5747 04:17

Anyways, >>1, listen to me. It's really related to this thread.

I went to Yoshinoya a while ago; you know, Yoshinoya? Well anyways, there was an insane number of people there, and I couldn't get in.

Then, I looked at the banner hanging from the ceiling, and it had "150 yen off" written on it.

Oh, the stupidity. Those IDIOTS.

You, don't come to Yoshinoya just because it's 150 yen off, dumbfuck. It's only 150 yen, 1-5-0 FUCKING YEN, for crying out loud!

There are even entire families here. Family of four, all out for some Yoshinoya, huh? How fucking nice.

"Alright, daddy's gonna order the extra-large."

God, I can't bear to watch.

Fuckers, I'll give you 150 yen if you get out of those seats.

Yoshinoya should be a scene of carnage. The tense atmosphere, where two guys on opposite ends of the U-shaped table can start a fight at any time, the stab-or-be-stabbed mentality; THAT'S what's great about this place.

Women and children should piss off and stay home.

Anyways, I was about to start eating, and then the fat bastard next to me goes "extra-large, with extra sauce."

Who in the world orders extra sauce nowadays, you moron?

I want to ask him, "do you REALLY want to eat it with extra sauce?"

I want to interrogate him. I want to interrogate him for roughly an hour.

Are you sure you don't just want to try saying "extra sauce"?

Coming from a Yoshinoya veteran such as myself, the latest trend among us vets is this: extra green onion.

That's right, extra green onion. This is the true connoisseur's way of eating.

Extra green onion means more green onion than sauce. But on the other hand, the price is a tad higher. This is the key.

And it's delicious. Unbeatable, even.

However, if you order this, there is the danger that you'll be marked by the employees from the next time on; it's a double-edged sword. I can't recommend it to amateurs.

What this all really means, though, is that you, >>1, should just stick with the special.

4 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5747 19:17

I am not willing to "work with" mental health professionals on the "pedophile problem." I am willing to converse with them, to tell them what they need to do, to order them, to command them, and to destroy them professionally if necessary, but I am not willing to concede to them.
The fact of the matter is, we hold all the cards. We (speaking on the broad scale) have sex with their children. And when they arrest us and put us in jail, a zillion more of us are still having sex with their children. And when they get us in therapy and "cure" us and teach us how not to "offend," a zillion more of us still slip through the cracks and still have sex with their children.
And there's not a damn thing they can do about it.
For every pedophile they arrest and put in jail, ten more are fucking their children.

5 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5747 20:08

>>4
Yeah well, sexual intercourse in younger ages in most cases leaves permanent mental scars.

6 Name: AVGN : 1993-09-5747 21:45

I'D RATHER HAVE A BUFFALO TAKE A DIARRHEA DUMP IN MY EAR!

7 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5748 06:21

I fucking hate baseball. Goddamn this shit pisses me off. A bunch of goddamn American idiots running around, uncivilized, with the sole purpose of running around a diamond. Remember when the world's sport was cricket? For fuck's sake, even I think it may have just been a dream. There was a civilized, gentlemanly atmosphere in cricket. Sure it may have also just revolved around scoring points, but at least cricket was geometrically sound, going the shortest distance between two points instead of in what amounted to a crooked circle. Every player was a tea-drinking blueblood, and on top of that, was part of a greater aristocracy meant to show the lesser classes how games were truly played. Physical injury? Fuck, it was considered in horridly bad taste to get injured during the game, even more so if it happened intentionally, because one would be shunned by society if it happened. There were no women at all, people stayed quiet during the game to allow the players greater concentration, rather than yelling constantly, and since the civilized, logical players were all socialist, commercialism was unheard of. Rememeber "Tea, crumpets, and a wicket?" Fuck no, you don't. Even I can't remember when this finery was last brought to my attention. Now it's "Baseball, Mom, and Applie Pie." BLASPHEMY! This is the reason why games are so pathetically low-brow now. Because all of the uncivilized dregs of society are glorified, the queen's drink is shunned upon, and the underdog is now taken into consideration instead of being rooted out by social Darwinism like he should be.

There. Finished. God, but this was a stupid rant in the first place. Makes it a lot harder to satirize.

8 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5748 11:36

>>5 that was kopipe dude... but on the other hand, the mental scarring is the only thing I find appealing about it all

>>7 it was good, you shouldn't have put the last line

9 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5748 20:09

IT TOOK ME FUCKING 100 MINUTES TO FIND A TEXTBOX TO WRITE TO YOU CAN TAKE YOU SITE AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS BRING BACK MY OTHER EASIER SITE PLEASE

10 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5748 22:01

I fucking hate basketball. Goddamn this shit pisses me off. A bunch of futuristic pansies running around, not touching each other, with the sole purpose of getting a inflated, light ball to the other side of an even, machine-made court. The commercialism, the lack of god worship, the clothed women, the tame audience, every single last bit of it fills me with rage until I overflow. Remember when the world's sport was Tlachtli? For fucks sake, even I think it may have only been in a museum. There was a psychotic, violent atmosphere to Tlachtli. Sure, it may have also had some points thrown in there, but at least there was religious purpose and GOD WORSHIP involved. There was a piousness and wonder about it instead of this WHOOMP THERE IT IS shit. Every player was the epitome of the warrior ideal, and on top of that was an essential part of the society as a whole and the game revolved around TRULY showing the gods how much you loved them. Physical injury? Fuck, it was a blue moon when someone WASN'T killed while playing, even more so intentionally, because if you didn't sacrifice the winner you weren't doing the gods their proper duty. The women were half-naked, people often incited riots leading to even more glorious deaths for Quetzalcoatl, and commercialism didn't exist because we hadn't invented anything worth selling, at least compared to basketball with its pussy high energy drinks and SHOES. Remember "Tlachtli, sideways hoops and Quetzalcoatl"? Fuck no you don't. Even I can't remember who the last glorious sacrifice was. Now it's "Basketball, horizontal hoops and no deaths". QUETZALCOATL DAMNIT! This shit is why games are so lacking in decent God woship anymore. Because all of the players are glorified rather than the GODS they are meant to be playing for. The underdog now gets to LIVE instead of committing ritualistic suicide in shame.

11 Name: golgolmois : 1993-09-5748 22:36

hey,hybrid american.
i don't your future and killing soon!
http://darkelf.dip.jp/images/sadam2.jpg
go back america from ryukyu
we hate hybrid monsters. give back racial island!
will be growing up terrorism!
http://darkelf.dip.jp/doubt/index_en.html

12 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5750 19:31

Goddamn it, stop criticizing everybody's rants. This is worse than /b/.

13 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5756 00:21

I fucking hate ranters. Hate hate hate hate hate. Goddamnit, the only thing worse than a ranter is more than one ranter. Motherfucker, you wouldn't believe the kind of shit I've had to put with, constantly hearing people bitching about their problems. It's fucking bullshit, that's what it is. There is no end to these fuckers either. They go on and on and on about the most ridiculously exaggerated horseshit. Oh, and here's the worst part, just about everything they say can be contained in one sentence, usually the first one that comes out of their mouth before they begin their rant.

14 Name: Gregalogue : 1993-09-5756 19:51

So, hot on the flat, comfortable heels of California overturning the gay marriage ban, Ellen DeGeneres announced on her show that she's marrying the stunningly hot Portia de Rossi, and she got a standing ovation. And I could tell Ellen hasn't been this happy since she professed the same love for Anne Heche, also on TV, a decade ago. As you know, seeing Ellen happy makes me happy, for everyone should be happy with the one they love, be they straight, gay, transgendered, bicurious, master, slave, S&M, or even Belgian – especially Belgian, those miserable bastards deserve it.

But Ellen already knows that once you publicize your love, it applies undue pressure on that relationship to survive, even if it's not meant to be, and then resentment grows, leading inevitably to something named Coley Laffoon – such a stupid, stupid name.

The fact is, if you ever want to live happily ever after, you need to shut the hell up about it. Professing one's love publicly only works in sappy commercials, bad movies, and perhaps dungeons in the East Village where the survival of your scrotum depends on it. For me, public exhortations of love are no different than telling everyone how great your bowel movements are since switching to All-Bran – no one gives a fuck except you. And so, this is why I never discuss my marriage with anyone, which is the main reason why John Stamos and I are so happy together.

And if you disagree with me, then you, sir, are worse than Hitler!

15 Name: Sagey McSagerson : 1993-09-5756 23:35

>>14 is a faggot

Prop 8 was upheld by the State Supreme Court, thus declaring (as well it should be) that gay marriage is illegal.

16 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5757 00:07

>>15

Hsst-psst. This is a rant thread. HELLO? RANTING. Good rants are long, illogical, and cruel, such as the flame posting below, adapted from a Slashdot post from aeons ago:

If you were 1/2 the man Squeeks is, I'd still kick your ass for being such a sniveling little prick.

Most children who choose to vomit their most infantile idiocy onto the pages of DQN at least have the common fucking decency to respect their elders. But your posting history is more embarrassing than being caught in the Oval Office with your cigar jammed between a woman's labia. If I were responsible for the torrent of dog shit you spew forth, and I say dog shit because your posts do much the same thing as canine fecal matter: sit there and stink the place up, I would flagellate myself with white-hot barbed wire until my flesh was so torn assunder that my screams of agony penetrated the furthest depths of hell, and even Judas would be forced to give pause and wonder at the source of such a cry. If I were you I would crawl back into whatever teratogenic cavern of a womb you were ejected from and beg for abortion via coat hanger. You should go to East Texas and get dragged behind a pickup by a couple of inbred, gap-toothed, banjo-player-from-Deliverance-looking white supremacist rednecks until your head is torn from your neck at the first pot hole and sent spinning into the ditch on the side of the road where it will be pissed on by passing truckers named Big Earl until the stench of stale urine is so great that even the buzzards won't touch it. You are not worthy to pick the dried shit from my ass hairs. I would continue trying to explain to you why you are the most worthless, disease carrying vermin on the planet, but I know that everything I say will pass directly through your empty fucking skull because you sniffed so much model glue that there isn't one cell of grey matter left to catch, let alone hold, something of intelligence and worth that might come your way.

I also don't like you very much.

17 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8444 15:54

I don't know what's worse, the assholes who abuse Channel 4's broken code to strikethrough the entire front page or the assholes who wrote the broken code in the first place and can't be bothered to change it. The whole situation is a shit. Instead of making the quality, well thought out posts that I would usually make, I have to desperately half-ass these bumps to old threads and push the offending post off the page. In conclusion, fuck.

18 This post sucked.

19 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8445 00:22

I really like it when I come here and the formatting's all wonky, it's really fun. It doesn't really matter though does it >>17, moaning about it just makes me want to bump it again!

20 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8445 00:24

It already did! あげ あげ あげ あげぽよ〜

21 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8450 19:32

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF WHAT DID YOU FUCKING CALL ME ?

A FAGGOT?

DO YOU FUCKING KN OW WHAT FAGGOT EVEN MEANS? IT MEANS A HOMOSEXUAL. A FUCKING QUEER. A WHOOPSY. A PRANCING LALA FRUITY BOY. YOU COME HERE, AND CALL ME FUCKING THAT? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY GIGABYTES OF PORNOGRAPHY FEATURING ONLY FUCKING !!!FEMALES!! I HAVE? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY TIMES A DAY I MASTURBATE TO THIS COLLECTION, HOW MANY HOURS I SPEND EXPANDING IT? NO, NO YOU FUCKING DON'T, YOU JUST COME IN HERE AND MAKE A FUCKING JUDGEMENT ON ME LIKE YOu"RE SOME KIND OF JUDGER OF FAGS WHEN I STILL SMELL OF THE SEMEN FROM JACKING IT TO THE PUSSY OF A FUCKING FEMALE THIS BOARD ISN"T FUCKING /FAGGOTV/ ALRIGHT IT'S /DQN/

WHIPE THAT SMILE OFF YOUR FUCKING FACE. I BET I HAVE AT LEAST TEN TIMES THE AMOUNT OF PICTURES OF VAGINA YOU DO, FAGGOT FAG FAG FRUITY WHOOPSY DOO-DOO LAA LAA SCOUT BOY GET THE FUCK OFF MY BOARD

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