( L_½M) Post American Things [CRUEL STEREOTYPES] (228)

1 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6196 22:14

( L_½M) I will fucking sue you for that.

2 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6196 22:42

( L_½M) HI I'M LOUD AND FAT

3 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6196 23:01

( L_½M) HI I MAKE REDUNDANT THREADS

4 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6197 12:38

I drive an enormous SUV that gets 15 MPG at best. When gas goes up 10 cents per gallon, I complain.

5 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6197 17:37

( L_½M) I hold huge rallies to protest imaginary problems, and ignore real ones.

6 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6197 17:40

( L_½M) Anything I strongly dislike is probably communism.

7 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6197 17:43

( L_½M) Don't piss me off I vote for whichever guy will appoint the person to pay out the contract to have your house leveled by hellfire missiles.

8 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6198 14:29

( L_½M) I own 10 guns for self defense.

9 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6198 15:20

( L_½M) If I get married, it'll be to a foreign woman. American women suck.

10 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6198 17:02

Everyone else in the world can suck my dick because America is #1!

11 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6198 22:04

( L_½M) The rest of the world needs to quit being so xenophobic.

12 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6198 23:07

( L_½M) I eat burgers from drive through windows everyday. Sometimes I go to Taco Bell to get something that isn't a burger.

13 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6200 01:35

( ˃ ƒŽ˂) America! FUCK YEAH!

14 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6200 01:38

( L_½M) American women have internalized the philosophy that in order to have a fulfilling, happy life, one has to make damn sure that at least one other person is absolutely miserable. Itfs a sort of twisted notion of karma, where onefs happiness is contingent upon anotherfs sorrow. Such a philosophy would certainly explain a lot of contemporary female behavior.

15 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6253 19:52

( L_½M) I like turtles.

16 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6254 02:24

( L_½M) I don't need to speak your stupid language.

17 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6255 09:40

( L_½M) Most of our our cars aren't very good, but we keep buying them anyway. GOD DAMN JAPS!

18 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6255 10:55

( L_½M) I don't care what restaurant this is. I want my god damned cheeseburger!

19 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6255 15:55

( L_½M) I'll walk in your house with my shoes on if I feel like it, ching chong!

20 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6255 16:03

( L_½M) When I say "World History" I mean the history of the USA.

21 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6255 18:24

( L_½M) When I say "history of the USA" I mean the Revolution and World War II.

22 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6256 11:46

( L_½M) I hate the smell of kimchi and of the people who eat it.

23 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6256 15:44

>>22 Japanese imposter!

24 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6257 01:50

( L_½M) I pretend to be Japanese–American online and claim that I can't speak Japanese because my parents wanted me to only know English.

25 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6257 20:14

>>23
( L_½M) My penis and eyes are too large for me to be Japanese.

Kimchi still smells like dog vomit, and that smell clings to the people who eat it. That kimchi smell clings to them the way cigarette smoke clings to a smoker.

26 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6257 20:40

( L_½M) And India is full of arrogant job-stealing assholes who don't bathe and always smell like shit and curry.
( L_½M) Come to think of it, that describes a lot of countries, except without the curry.

27 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6259 01:11

( L_½M) How dare you take a long time to back out of that parking place, I've been waiting for ten minutes!! You think I'm going to walk an extra five feet, fuck you.

28 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6259 02:41

( L_½M) America is a superior country to the rest of the world because it's the only place where I can enjoy my bacon wrapped pizza burger with extra cheese and bacon.

29 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6259 15:03

( L_½M) When the hell are they going to install an elevator in this two-floor building? I'm so sick of having to go up ALL THESE STAIRS.

30 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6260 01:26

( L_½M) I'm tired of walking up a hill to go where I need to.

I will aim a nuclear weapon at that hill and create a nice level ground to walk on.

31 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6275 23:41

( E_½E) Hi! My name is Yankpa.

32 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6276 16:19

( L_½M) >>31 No, you're Bob.

33 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6276 17:33

( L_½M) cigarettes are evil and disgusting.

34 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6276 17:40

( L_½M) except joints.

35 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6277 20:22

( L_½M) I'm going to park my gigantic SUV in the "compact" space, and you can't stop me because this is a free country!

36 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6277 21:11

( L_½M) My children misbehave, and that's why I must drug them up.

37 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6279 01:12

>>31 I was a little started while scrolling down with mah mouse wheel when America Dude's eyes suddenly opened.

38 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6280 17:54

( L_½M) I've removed the U key from my keyboard to avoid looking like a limey online.

39 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6281 06:39

( L_½M ) Don't worry guys, he's just got napoleon syndrome.

( L_½M ) Its funny cause Canadians get very excited when Canada is mentioned on US TV or US politics. But Americans don't even care Canada exists, and could care less what happens in their frozen wasteland of a country. Their ancestors were obviously smart deciding to settle in the part of british north America with the crappiest weather and living conditions, and then staying Britains bitch for another 200 years.

40 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6281 21:09

( L_½M ) I stock up on food and ammo in my log cabin.

41 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6282 11:46

( L_½M ) This bacon-wrapped bacon burger isn't bacon-flavored enough! Pass the baconnaise!

42 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6285 14:19

( L_½M ) The only things people should consume are chicken and beef.

43 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6285 14:21

( L_½M ) The free market will fix everything.

44 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6286 01:22

>>38 How would you be able to type hamburger you stereotypical fat fuck

45 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6286 12:12

( L_½M ) >>44 beef sandwich.

46 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6286 17:49

>>44-45
( L_½M ) Big Mac.

47 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6286 17:54

( L_½M ) I am blatantly offended by >>45's usage of the BRITISH word "sandwich", named after the BRITISH EARL of Sandwich.

( L_½M ) I propose the name "freedom beef bread oreo".

48 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6286 18:07

( L_½M ) I believe that freedom can only be tasted on the "freedom beef bread oreo" if the bread were made out of donuts injected with a cheese filling and were wrapped with bacon.

49 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6287 02:03

>>48
( L_½M ) I think that's already been done.

50 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6287 03:09

>>49
( L_½M ) The donuts need to be wrapped in their own bacon and the donuts also need to be filled with a cheese filling.

51 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6287 08:53

>>50
( L_½M ) And the whole thing needs to be fried in butter.

52 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6287 15:17

( L_½M ) I keep my kids homeschooled and snort cocaine before going to work because God told me to.

53 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6287 21:14

( L_½M ) I snort cocaine and don't work because God told me to.

54 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6287 23:28

( L_½M ) books are for nerds

55 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6288 04:05

( L_½M ) Degrees in my country are useless because only nerds have them. As a manager, I only promote people with work experience.

( L_½M ) You there, I heard you baked pizzas, welcome to our lab!

56 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6288 20:01

( L_½M ) Wait, you're telling me there's a 'slow food'? Hah!

57 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6289 01:30

( L_½M ) the beer I don't drink goes into cooking my fattening food.

58 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6291 18:41

( L_½M ) I bought a used car for 500 bucks and then had to pay triple that amount for insurance.

59 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6291 19:12

( L_½M ) My MBA trumps a dozen PhDs.

60 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6291 20:13

( L_½M ) Americans invented the pizza. Italians merely prototyped it.

61 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6293 10:25

( L_½M ) I drive a 100% American-made truck so I wouldn't kill the country by supporting outsourcing.

62 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6293 10:45

( L_½M ) My car gets just about enough mileage from a full tank to drive from one gas station to the next. I think all cars should be built this way, it would be great for the economy.

63 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6294 20:43

( L_½M ) It's only a coincidence that I sing the lyrics to "Team America" whenever somebody mentions the name of another country.

64 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6294 23:11

>>61 ( L_½M ) I also don't care if Toyota builds the Tundra in the USA. It still doesn't count.

65 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6294 23:20

( L_½M ) I'm just better than everyone, coz I'm a AMERICAN!

66 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6295 03:46

I won't use the face all the other posts are using because I am too lazy and are too busy eating a cheese steak with ranch dressing to use my other hand

67 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6295 06:26

( L_½M ) Actually, I do care if Toyota builds the Tundra in the USA and creates jobs, because otherwise I will sue them.

68 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6295 15:23

( L_½M ) Meanwhile, it doesn't bother me that the Ford Fusion is built in Mexico, since the name Ford belonged to an American man who built cars.

69 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6295 21:41

( L_½M ) I heard on the news that Russia invaded Georgia, but I'm in Atlanta and there are no soldiers anywhere!

70 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6296 15:25

( L_½M ) Pornography is immoral and it should be illegal.

( L_½M ) I wonder what that stupid nanny-state England is up to.

71 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6296 15:30

( L_½M ) There's nothing like celebrating the massacre of Indians by stuffing my flabby cheeks with turkey. A true American holiday.

72 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6296 18:02

( L_½M) If individuals can take from a common pot regardless of how much they put in, each person has an incentive to be a free-rider, to do as little as possible because what one fails to take will be taken by someone else. Soon, the pot is empty.

( L_½M) What private property does -- as the Pilgrims discovered -- is connect effort to reward, creating an incentive for people to produce far more. Then, if there's a free market, people will trade their surpluses to others for the things they lack. Mutual exchange for mutual benefit makes the community richer.

( L_½M) Put that in your pipes and smoke it, you smarty-pants communists.

73 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6296 19:29

( L_½M ) If my local mall doesn't start piping Christmas music the day after Halloween, they must be radical atheists leading the war on Christmas.

74 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6296 22:13

ί]¦›/ I won't use your ridiculous smileys, Japs.

75 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6296 23:59

ί]ϊU›/ What's the point in using Unicode, anyway? ASCII has always been good enough for me. If your language can't be written in it, then you had better change your writing system, hadn't you?

76 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6297 01:26

ί]ϊU›/ ( L_½M ) I'm not sure how this Usenet thing works, but I don't care -- AOL made it available, so I have the right to fuck things up.

77 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6297 06:13

( L_½M ) Drugs are horrible.

78 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6297 23:21

( L_½M) Nothing like a few beers after work to take the edge off.

79 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6298 23:30

( L_½M) Why hasn't the rest of the world realized yet that English is the only proper language to speak?

80 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6299 02:51

( L_M) I don't have your stupid language support installed.

81 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6299 03:05

( L_½M) I couldn't even read your language if you tried.

82 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6299 03:19

( L_½M) I beat my wife like a cowboy.

83 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6299 04:27

( L_½M) I hate how the burger place makes you bring the sticks of butter for yourself. They make the fucking burgers.

84 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6301 00:08

( L_½M) I wish Steven Colbert would stop pretending to be a comedian. Everything he says is perfectly serious.

85 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6301 01:45

( L_½M) Ever since they got rid of Glenn Beck, I quit watching CNN.

86 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6301 18:09

( L_½M) Waiter, this T-bone steak is too small. Bring me three more!

87 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6302 13:59

( L_½M) My New Year's resolution is to lose weight. Just like the past 23 years.

88 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6302 14:07

( L_½M) I'd like to buy the 100GET, please. I'll write you a check for the deal.

89 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6302 15:18

( L_½M) Why won't Japanese cab drivers take American currency? All the other third-world countries do.

90 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6302 16:01

( L_½M) The world should use American currency. It's the only one with actual value.

91 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6302 16:21

( L_½M) Atheist? No, I'm an upstanding American with values.

92 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6305 13:45

( L_½M) Sorry, I thought you were a deer.

93 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6306 06:23

( L_½M) Who needs to think of jokes when you can just parrot what they say on TV?

94 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6306 17:56

( L_½M) Who needs to watch TV when TVTropes exists?

95 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6306 17:59

( L_½M) TVTropes has too many words, and not enough pictures.

96 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6306 18:32

( L_½M) The New York Times should move to Scandinavia if they like it so much there.

97 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6306 23:54

( L_½M) I can't afford to get sick because I live paycheck to paycheck paying the minimum for my huge house, fancy new car, premium electronic goodies, fridge filled with expensive organic foods, and shiny jewelry.

98 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6307 11:24

( L_½M) When I say "Europe", I mean only England, France and Italy.

99 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6308 12:22

( L_½M) I only ever talk about Europe, Colorado.

100 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6308 16:37

( L_½M) Colorado is in Europe, right?

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