>>5 has an overriding compulsion to expose reformed ex-cons to Beethoven's 9th at extreme volumes upon discovering that they suffer grand mal seizures whenever exposed to classical music.
>>6 must make sure that the peas and rice are separated at all costs.
>>7 firmly believes that all pictures can be "looked behind", so to speak, dedicating unruly amounts of time to the practice and getting himself into trouble here and there when, face-to-face with a person, he impulsively walks around to peer at their backsides.
Has Hallucinatory Pandarian Disease
>>12 will suffer an aneurysm if he ever attempts to use greater-than signs.
>>14 Can only get an erection while shouting "Margret Thatcher naked on a cold day!"
>>18 can only be aroused by hairless cats and corrupt Italian politicians
http://cureplus.org/i/111113/40.html
it is funney!
>>21 is inappropriately amused by dry medical texts about carbon monoxide poisoning.
>23 contracted Aiken's Murraine in the Upper Baboonasshole
>>26 is EDUCATED STUPID and can't comprehend 4 CORNER TIME CUBE.
>>27 has been educated quite masterfully yet somehow remains unable to comprehend the third dimension.
When >>28 smells cat urine, he sees a viking woman with huge boobs.
>>32 is an espeon.
>>33 is the subject of every dokyun's love, but doesn't know it.
>>34 would be a lot more liked if he'd just shut up every once in a while.
>>37 feels orgasmic pleasure every time he posts twice or more in a row on an anonymous forum.
>>38 can't sleep at night if he hasn't defragmented his disk drive.
>>39 gets a migraine headache when he hears poetry read aloud in an American accent.
>>41 possesses a functional set of both feline and bovine genitalia.
>>43 has a 1D complex and has to excuse himself after seeing timelines and numberlines.
>>44 needs to be in absolute darkness at all times or his heart will stop beating.
>>52 suffers from occasional cascade shutdowns of internal organs.
>>58's kidneys cease to function if he does not post in at least one variations-on-a-theme DQN thread per day.
>>59 has to eat poisonous mushrooms to keep his respiration stable.
>>62 is allergic to almost every human food product, and subsists on deionized water and Meow Mix.
>>63 unwaveringly believes himself to be Carl Sagan, and has made it his ambition to construct a pair of wings which will fly him to Jupiter.
>>64 has a condition where he makes up diseases which aren't apocryphal in a thread where you're supposed to create apocryphal diseases.
>>67 is only capable of reading the previous post in any given thread, which is why he failed to criticize >>66 for glazing over >>65's half-witted post. By >>65's reckoning, he himself also fails to create an apocryphal disease, as both >>64 and >>65 describe behaviorisms incompatible within a given context. So, he may as well be criticizing himself. But I don't think his ego would allow that. Therefore if he wishes to at least save face he must accept that >>64's given condition was sufficiently apocryphal. Also, >>65 is, in general, quite fucking retarded.
>>68 has a terminal case of not-learning-on-others-mistakes. He will probably die in a blast of gasoline vapours in his mid-30s.
Despite much evidence to the contrary, for instance the fact he can post legibly on an internet textboard, >>70 is in fact a medium sized wooden spatula.
Has a form of arthritis that makes it difficult to make rude gestures
>>73 emits the smell of freshly slaughtered capybara in his sleep, unless he makes sure to wear an overripe durian on his crotch.
Whenever >>75 tries to draw Mega Man fanart, he always ends up drawing an arthritic old man with a gun in his hand.
>>77 is genetically predisposed to type his own post number instead of that of the previous poster whenever he tries to participate in 'previous poster' threads.
He also dreams of his own death.
>>79 has prophetic dreams of trivial events. Last night, he had an accurate dream about a textbook page he won't get around to reading until next week.
>>80 replies to himself in these kinds of threads, but doesn't see it as cheating due to his funky conscience.
>>83 temporarily ceases to exist when stared at for more than twenty seconds.
>>89's textboard addiction has made him unable to comprehend the letter H.
>>90 begins having convulsions when he hears rumors of the Grim Reaper.
>>91 wants to live beneath the ocean in a glass house, but has digestive problems when below sea level.
>>93 has to wear sunglasses at all times to prevent his X-ray vision from acting up. He's seen terrible things with his eyes.
>>94's right eye twitches when his CAPTCHAs are English words.
>>96 fears that he is being watch when noticing that many of these symptoms match his own.