the failure of the masculinity invoking ritual had caused every man in the galaxy to become a catgirl!
"Nya~!" said the former Gerald Jay Sussman, before
conjuring our spirits with
the aid of an absurdly oversized
Canadian, eh?
The sudden influx of catgirls caused a dramatic increase in
nerd murders
by people suffering from Moéshit Redundancy Disorder which
was reported to the Department of Redundancy Department.
and that message accidentally was received by the Ministry of Silly Walks.
penis
shaped protrusions were found on the side of
his penis, which
exploded into many dick fragments, killing at least 3, including
the author.
(The remains of this manuscript were received posthumously.)
Suddenly, a corpse fell through the skylight!
The deadly dick fragments had claimed their fourth victim:
The great GSL herself! Unfortunately, the corpse
was mistakenly delivered to the Ministry of Silly Walks, thus patching up the plot a bit. Meanwhile, in Japan
Godzilla
movies remained inexplicably popular. Roger Ebert, on a trip to Fukushima, accidentally grew to a height of 700 ft, and gave the NHK news report about his subsequent exploits three thumbs up.
And that, children, is how Nyan Cat was created.
The end.
Part 2: Vultures on the boundary of the river wheel
It was a quiet day and the children were playing serendipitously on the riverbank just outside the quaint village of
Detroit
Suddenly, a huge river wheel came
tumbling down from the mountains crushing all in its path. Behind it,
Detroit was unfortunately not crushed.
However, Dearborn was crushed, and the factories that belonged to Ford
cried out in anguish, "How could this occur?
We worked and toiled, but all it was for naught,
Our dreams and cars are crushed by vicious Fate.
The river wheel turns without remorse,
Like time and death it has no love nor hate,
Its monstrous spokes whirl as a heartless beast,
Blindly striking down both weak and strong,
And as it spins, we people sing this song:"
"Fate, savage and empty, you are a turning wheel, your position is uncertain, your favour is idle and always likely to disappear; covered in shadows and veiled you bear upon me too; now my back is naked through the sport of your wickedness."
So sang the survivors of Dearborn as the river wheel tumbled through and onto its next destination:
Dr. Robotnik's lab
which was demolished in a matter of seconds. Dr Robotnik
, however, managed to survive for several more minutes due to a previously unknown mysterious
property of excessive body fat.
Meanwhile, back in Detroit, the playground was pregnant with sexual tension.
Suddenly, a wild Snorlax appears.
It accidentally inhales 5 children.
And then made suggestive comments and sexually harassed the shocked bystanders. The moral of this tale is, of course,
that as long as long as you know which direction is North
you can easily fart a
happy tune
with your buttocks
clenched in a furious state of tetany. Anyway, as we discussed in >>1,
twenty three hyphens
isn't a proper
acceptable discussion of nouns
but that's ok because grammar is bullshit anyway
as was previously said by run-on-man.
In other news, 2012 is rapidly approaching
with it's rather disappointing lack of
penis
enhancers that fail to deliver the true nature of the beast.
Spam mail
no longer exists, thanks to the combined efforts of
420JEWKILLER666, 88HITLER_BOI, and 69JEWNIGGERS. Sadly,
spam mail has been replaced with spam in-brain projection through the combined efforts of
420JEWKILLER666, 88HITLER_BOI, and 69JEWNIGGERS. Sadly,
said spam in-brain projection runs on buggy software with a broken recursive function, due to the combined efforts of
420JEWKILLER666, 88HITLER_BOI, and 69JEWNIGGERS. Sadly,
their data center was highly secured so that nobody could get in and end the process that was creating a time-loop due to its shoddy programming.
"If only we'd read our SICP!" lamented 88HITLER_BOI. Meanwhile,
Sonic the Hedgehog
Died, taking Sega with it to never plague video games with it's games again.
Also, FISTING.
which occurred on that fateful day took the form of BROFISTING.
"Cool story, bro," said Knuckles the Echidna.
Then he went off to fist his buddies.
30,000 years ago,
a great battle was taking place between
Siouxsie & The Banshees and
the buxom man-ladies of the Gro'tai Kingdom
over
the finer points of
FISTING vs. BROFISTING
which led to the establishment of
The Semi Democratic People's Republic of New Manchuria (which you may remember from >>7)
"Oh, yes I do remember it!" - said an innocent bystander. He had no idea that
in the time it took him to utter those words,
Orcs
had already come up with a plan to
knock knock
whos there
buttcrack
buttcrack who
buttcrack jeffery
" said the schizophrenic,
I fucked a cat
with the Ultra Deluxe Dildotronic 20X6, which
looks like a simple polished stick with a small exception of
a curiously placed popcorn machine, perfect in times
Lagiacrus dragon dildo complete with electric shock action
placed at the third Lagrange point
and I got her pregnant somehow.
Ever since I read the SICP,
no invocation of spells could ready me for
SURPRIZE BUTTSECKS
which I enjoyed because MY ANUS is
nano-augmented with
dingleberries.
I have to refresh
my scrotum with
dingleberries.
Or GAY MAGIC, whichever is available.
A triumphant cry of "300 GET!" echoed across