[NOVEL] DQN Short Novel [SHORT] (999)

1 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6520 20:59

Add on to this sentence
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In the year 5000, when man is spreading himself across the solar system,

201 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6572 21:05

the failure of the masculinity invoking ritual had caused every man in the galaxy to become a catgirl!

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"Nya~!" said the former Gerald Jay Sussman, before

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conjuring our spirits with

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the aid of an absurdly oversized

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Canadian, eh?

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The sudden influx of catgirls caused a dramatic increase in

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nerd murders

208 Name: ڤ( l _ l ),T!ESpeoN/nPA : 1993-09-6573 22:59

by people suffering from Moéshit Redundancy Disorder which

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was reported to the Department of Redundancy Department.

210 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6574 23:12

and that message accidentally was received by the Ministry of Silly Walks.

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penis

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shaped protrusions were found on the side of

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his penis, which

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exploded into many dick fragments, killing at least 3, including

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the author.

(The remains of this manuscript were received posthumously.)

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Suddenly, a corpse fell through the skylight!

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The deadly dick fragments had claimed their fourth victim:

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The great GSL herself! Unfortunately, the corpse

219 Name: ڤ( l _ l ),T!ESpeoN/nPA : 1993-09-6575 19:14

was mistakenly delivered to the Ministry of Silly Walks, thus patching up the plot a bit. Meanwhile, in Japan

220 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6575 19:15

Godzilla

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movies remained inexplicably popular. Roger Ebert, on a trip to Fukushima, accidentally grew to a height of 700 ft, and gave the NHK news report about his subsequent exploits three thumbs up.

222 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6577 00:39

And that, children, is how Nyan Cat was created.

The end.

223 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6577 04:36

Part 2: Vultures on the boundary of the river wheel

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Battle Tendency Electric Boogaloo Stardust Crusaders: EXTREME EDITION:+

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It was a quiet day and the children were playing serendipitously on the riverbank just outside the quaint village of

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Detroit

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Suddenly, a huge river wheel came

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tumbling down from the mountains crushing all in its path. Behind it,

229 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6578 00:30

Detroit was unfortunately not crushed.

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However, Dearborn was crushed, and the factories that belonged to Ford

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cried out in anguish, "How could this occur?
We worked and toiled, but all it was for naught,
Our dreams and cars are crushed by vicious Fate.
The river wheel turns without remorse,
Like time and death it has no love nor hate,
Its monstrous spokes whirl as a heartless beast,
Blindly striking down both weak and strong,
And as it spins, we people sing this song:"

232 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6578 02:05

"Fate, savage and empty, you are a turning wheel, your position is uncertain, your favour is idle and always likely to disappear; covered in shadows and veiled you bear upon me too; now my back is naked through the sport of your wickedness."

So sang the survivors of Dearborn as the river wheel tumbled through and onto its next destination:

233 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6578 04:22

Dr. Robotnik's lab

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which was demolished in a matter of seconds. Dr Robotnik

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, however, managed to survive for several more minutes due to a previously unknown mysterious

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property of excessive body fat.

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Meanwhile, back in Detroit, the playground was pregnant with sexual tension.

238 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6582 06:41

Suddenly, a wild Snorlax appears.

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It accidentally inhales 5 children.

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And then made suggestive comments and sexually harassed the shocked bystanders. The moral of this tale is, of course,

241 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6603 16:17

that as long as long as you know which direction is North

242 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6603 17:58

you can easily fart a

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happy tune

244 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6604 13:25

with your buttocks

245 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6604 13:31

clenched in a furious state of tetany. Anyway, as we discussed in >>1,

246 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6610 21:04

twenty three hyphens

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isn't a proper

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acceptable discussion of nouns

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but that's ok because grammar is bullshit anyway

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as was previously said by run-on-man.

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In other news, 2012 is rapidly approaching

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with it's rather disappointing lack of

253 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6611 18:31

penis

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enhancers that fail to deliver the true nature of the beast.

255 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6611 23:24

Spam mail

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no longer exists, thanks to the combined efforts of

257 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6612 11:59

420JEWKILLER666, 88HITLER_BOI, and 69JEWNIGGERS. Sadly,

258 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6612 13:17

spam mail has been replaced with spam in-brain projection through the combined efforts of

259 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6612 16:11

420JEWKILLER666, 88HITLER_BOI, and 69JEWNIGGERS. Sadly,

260 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6612 17:05

said spam in-brain projection runs on buggy software with a broken recursive function, due to the combined efforts of

261 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6612 17:16

420JEWKILLER666, 88HITLER_BOI, and 69JEWNIGGERS. Sadly,

262 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6612 17:20

their data center was highly secured so that nobody could get in and end the process that was creating a time-loop due to its shoddy programming.

263 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6612 17:56

"If only we'd read our SICP!" lamented 88HITLER_BOI. Meanwhile,

264 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6612 20:30

Sonic the Hedgehog

265 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6612 20:34

Died, taking Sega with it to never plague video games with it's games again.

Also, FISTING.

266 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6612 22:25

which occurred on that fateful day took the form of BROFISTING.

267 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6613 11:31

"Cool story, bro," said Knuckles the Echidna.

268 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6613 11:59

Then he went off to fist his buddies.

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30,000 years ago,

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a great battle was taking place between

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Siouxsie & The Banshees and

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the buxom man-ladies of the Gro'tai Kingdom

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over

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the finer points of

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FISTING vs. BROFISTING

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which led to the establishment of

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The Semi Democratic People's Republic of New Manchuria (which you may remember from >>7)

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"Oh, yes I do remember it!" - said an innocent bystander. He had no idea that

279 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6614 00:31

in the time it took him to utter those words,

280 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6614 01:29

Orcs

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had already come up with a plan to

282 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6614 07:21

knock knock
whos there
buttcrack
buttcrack who
buttcrack jeffery

283 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6614 17:04

" said the schizophrenic,

284 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6614 17:59

I fucked a cat

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with the Ultra Deluxe Dildotronic 20X6, which

286 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6614 21:52

looks like a simple polished stick with a small exception of

287 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6614 23:24

a curiously placed popcorn machine, perfect in times

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Lagiacrus dragon dildo complete with electric shock action

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placed at the third Lagrange point

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and I got her pregnant somehow.

Ever since I read the SICP,

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no invocation of spells could ready me for

292 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6616 16:52

SURPRIZE BUTTSECKS

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which I enjoyed because MY ANUS is

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nano-augmented with

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dingleberries.

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I have to refresh

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my scrotum with

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dingleberries.

299 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6618 18:07

Or GAY MAGIC, whichever is available.

300 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6618 18:16

A triumphant cry of "300 GET!" echoed across

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