Demanding from the next poster (895)

1 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6569 02:07

I demand that >>2 will end all his sentences with desu.

(>>0 demanded me to start this thread!)

312 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6640 06:17

>>311
Here you go, in all its unkempt glory.
http://i.imgur.com/CsuWt.jpg

>>313
Smile for me if you can.

313 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6640 07:02

>>312
I only took it because I love you, >>312-san.
http://img593.imageshack.us/img593/3830/1105110121.jpg

>>314
Write a poem and post it!

314 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6640 10:36

>>313
It's a song I wrote, but it started as a poem:

Never not a blank thought, because it terrifies
C'est la vie, share the feeling, asking If I'm blind
Just because se cannae see the freshly-tarmacced roads
(A hint for question 23: "I love you loads")

The only way to think straight
Is to go around the side
Don't say you lived
When you've only just survived

65,538
We're alive for more than just to procreate
So I said "Okay, I know" but then my glider stalled
So I turned and ran back up my waterfall

The only way to think straight
Is to go around the side
Don't say you lived
When you've only just survived

[ring modulated bass solo]

The only way to think straight
Is to go around the side
Don't say you lived
When you've only just survived

>>315 recreate >>313-san's photo with your own cute smile

315 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6641 08:47

>>314
http://img215.imageshack.us/img215/9/dqnsmile.jpg

>>316
I demand you write your post without looking at the screen or keyboard, except for the captcha. If this is too easy, cross your hands too.

316 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6641 11:06

>>315 maybe cos it's datk but you have better teeth than i expecrted from a fokyuin

??317 was 69b ass, wash yohair, veyag ti twwth (o wkkwaw you'll be gtjy)

317 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6641 11:08

(aww, off to a good start but i lost my positioning on the keyboard for the demand)

318 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6641 12:56

>>319
Decrypt >>316. My best guess so far is ">>317 wash yo ass, wash yo face, wash yo teeth (i allele you'll be fry)"

319 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6641 16:48

>>318
I recognize them as lyrics from a song my friend used to sing by Del the Funkee Homosapien (it's spelled funny if I'm not mistaken). He means, "Wash yo' ass, wash yo' hair, brush yo' teeth (or else you'll be funky)"

>>320
Freestyle rap with DQN quality!

320 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6642 08:38

>>319
I vowed to fulfill your demand if nobody had posted after I got home from work, so here you go!

http://iiichan.net/boards/music/src/DQNfreestyle.mp3

Lyrics:
The internet's not a place to be serious
Let's chill, you know, just be mysterious
Copy and paste, that's how I roll
I don't really care if it gets outta control

You posers be thinking while I be feelin
Rappin' up and down from the floor to the ceilin'
You say "VIP" but I'm a DQN
Born on a farm and raised by a hen

Motherfuckers wait all night for quality
I don't wait, I make it, who cares, let's be free
If you care too much you'll be sad and bored
If you just let it go freedom's your reward

Posers be thinking while I be feelin
Rappin' up and down from the floor to the ceilin'
You say "VIP" but I'm DQN
Born on a farm and raised by a hen

>>321
Remix it!

321 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6642 08:59

>>320 Golly gosh, that was life-affirming! Whether or not anyone posts after this I'm going to remix it anyway, but I have a job interview now. Or anyone else can remix it too, I'm going to do a weird ambient remix

322 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6642 09:19

323 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6642 11:44

324 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6642 19:45

>>323 What?

>>325 Travel to the alternate dimension where Ronnie James Dio never gets caner, but members of KSE do.

325 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6642 20:16

>>324 killswitch engage? members of the westboro baptist church picket their funeral, but life goes on.

>>326 bump the travel to an alternate dimension thread

326 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6642 22:53

>>325 meant this one: ttp://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1297791000/

Fuck it, I have no idea for it other than "Communism won. Where is your party membership card, comrade?"

>>327, you fucking do it.

327 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6643 20:23

>>326 Done.

>>328
Tell me about your job/school life.

328 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6643 23:15

>>327 I just graduated at university and am now on the dole, though I have started up a record label with a friend and the future is quite exciting. On one hand i don't like taking handouts, and I was a bit disappointed my job interview yesterday didn't go well, but on the other hand i like having time to work on my folio and other projects

>>329 post a download link to your, if push comes to shove, alltime favourite album

329 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6643 23:59

330 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6644 16:39

>>329
This is an album which, unlike your typical IDM album, conveys some warm feelings besides chaotic and other colder feelings. While it gives you a sense of hope and reminds your emotional self that everything can and will be alright, it also tells you that nothing's easy. This is a feeling which reminisces of World's End Girlfriend.
Its Celtic and dreamy feel isn't overshadowed by its more chaotic sense of emergency, there's a balance here, between what's good and what's complicated in life. It's an album surely many can relate to, as it tells a tale of ups and downs, of dreams and hopes, of living life to it's fullest.
It gives off that intense feeling that you are, one day, going to die, and that you need to make the most out of your life. That you shouldn't waste away your life with idle thoughts, but you should however, have fun in your life. It's important that you do something, that you struggle for everything you want. This is indeed the sense of emergency it conveys.
Vaedre is, in my personal opinion, the best sounding thing in the album, it's a bit like the artist decided to take everything he wanted to put in the album, and decided to make one final push towards showing his true message. And then along comes Sea Angel Lament, with sadder, tiresome feelings creeping through. It's the end of the journey.

All in all, this album could mean nothing to most, and it surely will, but anyone, when given the appropriate time and peace of mind could find everything they want to hear in it. Just like in every other album ever made.

>>331
I command thee to be my friend. My MSN is rupertmariejohanson(at)hotmail(dot)com, if you don't have MSN just e-mail me and let's talk via e-mail.

331 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6644 16:54

>>330 I sent you a wee message :3

>>332 record a little message for us using http://audioboo.fm/

332 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6644 19:05

>>331
http://audioboo.fm/boos/538737-332

>>333
Make this GET a good one! Other than that, feel free to do whatever.

333 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6644 21:31

>>332

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,.Ν,j€@@j„,€ _____,@,.ƒC@ ƒn@@@@ƒŒ ƒ‹M [--„Ÿ Lƒ‹Ϊ@ځL

>>334
I demand that you contemplate the back of your hand for a few minutes/hours then post your findings.

334 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6645 01:09

>>333 well actually I was going to say, before I saw your demand (as I had to click view whole post) that when >>332's recording stopped, I sat for a few minutes in quiet contemplation of what I had just heard, and went on quite a deep mental journey thinking about lots of things, the song seemed to inspire lots of memories within me, and also made me think about the future. Funnily enough I did think about my hands for a bit; I have a date tomorrow with the girl I'm quite certain I shall marry, and she has a thing about my hands, and I was thinking about the time we've spent staring at our interlocked hands. Woah, like, contemplating my hands deep within a meditation on a higher level or something.

Hope you don't mind >>332 if i post this direct link so i can download your recording. http://audioboo.fm/boos/538737-332.mp3 I like you voice. It makes me feel cosy and safe.

>>334 Come find yourself.

335 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6645 02:30

>>336 I demand that you add me on MSN! Pidgin is sometimes weird, so if I don't accept, send me an email ~

336 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6648 00:54

>>335
Sent you an email.

>>337
I demand that you make a single post in every thread currently on the front page, with "John Macramé" written in the name field.

337 Name: John Macramé : 1993-09-6648 09:01

>>336
OK.

>>338
Let's love us.

338 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6648 10:07

>>338
Please tell me what's your favorite mathematical theorem.

>>337
I already love you all.

339 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6648 13:07

>>338
I'm going to assume you were talking to me. My favourite mathematical theorem is our dear friend the quadratic formula. I knew it off by heart within a week of being taught it, and frightened small children by repeating it in monotone and telling them that was the sort of thing you had to memorise in maths.

>>340
I demand that you do not in any way mention, hint at or allude to the fact that >>333 says "300" instead of "333".

340 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6648 17:41

>>341 post

341 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6648 21:04

>>340
Ok.

>>342
Draw a picture of your childhood friend as you remember him or her, doesn't need to be professional level, even a stickman will do.

342 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6649 01:07

>>341
I honestly can't remember what he looked like as a kid, so here's a recent impression.

http://imgur.com/JYbJB

>>343
Draw us a picture of yourself!

343 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6649 01:29

>>342 couldn't be bothered to get my tablet out or wire my scanner up but here's a picture of me from about 8 months ago when I had blond hair (I'm in the background quite dismayed at what I'm seeing)

http://fc02.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2011/143/c/6/space_junk___we_all_have_to_go_by_crinkle_cutbeatroot-d3h1skw.png

>>344 start smoking, then quit. If you already smoke ignore this message

344 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6650 14:35

>>343 I couldn't stand the taste of the first cigarette I ever smoked, so I quit that instant.

>>345 Hijack a short bus

345 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6650 14:42

Just imagine if time traveling was possible! I'd rather stay in the year 1000000,5 (as in Futurama's The Late Philip J. Fry) and succumb to giraffe's will.

>>346, what is your ideal future (as seen in movies, cartoons etc.)?

>>344, btw, I hijacked the short bus which is this thread.

346 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6650 19:31

>>345
My ideal future is the future of Yokohama Kaidashi Kikō, peaceful, half-destroyed, half-reborn, robots, there was a catastrophe without killing half of the world's population, etc.

>>347
Write me a poem about your favourite episode of your favourite cartoon.

347 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6650 22:20

>>346
Jealous mother takes a life
A life she once held dear
Hides the books of memory
Without a single tear

But when she sees the old piano
It all comes flowing back
Cakes and kids and memory drops
Can't stop guilt and regret

>>348
Find the episode/show this is from. Hint: the poem can be used as lyrics for the episode's theme music.

348 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6653 23:19

>>347
I have absolutely no idea, and that hint of yours is no use whatsoever. I even tried googling your subtly hidden "Clonico". I even tried googling "Clonico" without the Spanish results. I got nothing.

>>349
I demand that you tell me an amusing anecdote.

349 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6654 16:32

>>348
Sorry, after I posted I realized my demand was a bit silly and regretted it. If you search youtube for Clonico it might be the second result or so?

Anyway, two semi-amusing anecdotes to make up for how neither is that amusing:
I was at an event with a friend when A reporter came up and interviewed us. I didn't speak much and let my friend answer all the questions. When the paper came out, it quoted me as saying everything my friend had said, and didn't mention him at all.

I asked a group of middle schoolers to choose what they would take to survive on a deserted island from a collection of things. 20% of them chose a dog -- to use as food. Three of them chose the gun -- to kill themselves.

>>350
Tell me an average anecdote!

350 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6654 19:10

>>349 i was on one of those camgirl sites the other night, you know where they go on webcam to shake their jiggly bits and i've mucked about a few times the past few days but this time i went in and there was a woman slapping her bum-bum and other guys saying things like "mmm bb u so fine" and "take it off" and she seemed to be enjoying the attention, then I said "I'M GONNA FEED MY CHILDREN NON-ORGANIC FOOD, AND WITH THE MONEY SAVED TAKE THEM TO THE ZOO" and she stopped gyrating, closed her legs, sat up with a confused look on her face and scratched her head a bit, and all the conversation died. Then she lay down again and gradually got back into the swing of things, so i left because i just wasn't interested any more.

>>351 post the nicest thing anyone's ever said to

351 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6655 00:48

>>350
">>351, You did a wonderful job yesterday. Congratulations! You always amaze me.

Donft forget to sign up for a lesson Monday or Tuesday next week.

  • Your Piano Teacher"

>>352
Post the meanest thing anyone's ever said to you.

352 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6655 04:11

>>351
I can't actually think of anything other than a pretty standard "you are fucking retarded and should stop posting until you understand the community better because you're making all of us look like dicks" aimed at me and some other guys on another board. Day 1 registrant elitists are good at throwing that kind of drama out after some years, I've found.

IRL, I was always that quiet guy sitting in the back. I didn't really get any comments at all. Nobody liked me, but nobody hated me enough to call me names either. I've changed a bit since then but the people I've done stuff with since then were too mature for namecalling. Probably for the better.

>>353
Post the meanest thing you've ever said to someone, and reflect on if it was truly appropriate or just a heat of the moment thing.

353 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6655 04:34

>>352
Oh, god. There were so many brutal comments exchanged between my first ex and I (we were 14 and 16, respectively) I can't even begin to enumerate them. Putting two vindictive, bi-polar, narcissistic, intelligent cynics together is the worst idea ever. Maybe the meanest thing I'd said was when I went off about how she should, in all honestly, just kill herself and save me all her problems. Or something as simple as, a few years later, giving a calm dissertation on why I hate her, the way she thinks, the people she knows and the life she leads.

None of it was appropriate. I could definitely have afforded to be a better friend after we'd broken up and she'd moved away. But I was just tired of being someone she constantly depended on to cry about situations she got herself into, soon thereafter hounding me for not knowing what the fuck I could say that she wouldn't immediately disregard.

>>354
Tell us your opinion of yourself.

354 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6655 05:03

>>353
I think I'm alright.

>>353
I demand that you tell me when 4chan goes back up! If you fail, I will call your ISP and tell them that you're violating their TOS!!!!!!!

355 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6655 08:29

>>354
A cursory check reveals that it seems to be up right now. Unless by "up" you mean "up in quality", which I doubt will ever happen.

>>356
Post your five oldest bookmarks.

(I don't know about other browsers but firefox can sort bookmarks by date added; it's a little harder if you have lots of folders, but you can just spend a couple minutes copying everything into one temporary folder and then sort it.)

356 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6655 16:41

I'm on safari so just doing it by memory

  • Youtube
  • Bebo
  • Sovietrussia.org /f/
  • yahoo
  • DQN

357 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6655 16:43

>>358 tell me your favourite joke

358 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6655 17:00

What do you have to watch out for when it's raining cats and dogs?
Don't step in a poodle!

>>359 Tell us about your day

359 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6655 17:19

I woke up 2 hours ago at 3pm, and i've been talking to a hot babe online since I got up. I also went for a jobby and read my Sgt. Frog book while i was there. I might go play some infamous and i might go buy doughnuts too.

>>360 buy yourself a big cake and eat it all

360 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6660 08:53

>>359
I couldn't find a cake so I bought a big castella and ate it all instead. It was castella quality!
http://i.imgur.com/1M8bB.jpg

>>361
Post with a prime number of words.

361 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6660 11:22

>>360
Okay.

>>362
Wake up, see /DQN/, wut do?

362 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6660 14:57

>>361
Please don't talk like that; it's unbecoming of you.

>>363
I demand that you post something creepy and unsettling.

363 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6660 15:02

>>361
I wrote that ranty thing about multiple abilities, forgetting that I actually meant to explain how my day was completed because some Japanese girls sent me wwwwwwwww bombs on Omegle (they were mocking me T.T ).

>>363
Take a picture of your most prized collection (books, DVDs, manga, whatever)!

364 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6660 15:04

Oh god QUICK DO >>362 AND >>363!! MARATHON RUN!!

365 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6660 18:21

>>364
'Kay

>>362
CREEPY, UNSETTLING MITTENS

>>363
Here's a screenshot of my collection of Touhou images. 883 files and counting!

>>363
I demand that every word in your post has either one, four, five or eight letters in it.

366 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6660 18:33

>>365
I believe that demand was for you, >>367.

367 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6660 19:13

>>366
I guess I could make this post with only words like this; that would ruin >>366's point. Thus I will write a definite "eight word" once, possibly twice.

>>368
Withhold some info from somebody that loves your info.

368 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6661 00:22

>>367
Done.

>>369
Show me something you are proud of.

369 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6661 07:16

>>368
http://tanasinn.info/wiki/Title
I contributed a couple tracks!

But you've probably already seen that so I'll show you something else I'm proud of.
http://agargara.iiichan.net/misc/swhj/195.html

370 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6661 07:19

>>371
Spend an hour reading through a random friend's social network history, preferably somebody you don't really know, then post a one-paragraph summary of that person's life here. If you're not into social networking then spend an hour going through some random person's livejournal.

371 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6661 19:45

>>370
This person is currently not in relationships (apparently he dreams about the day when he finally finds a woman of easy virtue with well-developed secondary sex characteristics). He has a new car which was a gift from his parents (he boasts about it, yet he complains about lack of funds). He visits nightclubs often (he likes RnB and dubstep). Either he has low salary or he is "between jobs".

>>372
Make a video of you playing Touhou.

372 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6661 22:02

>>371
Well now, this is my kind of demand. Here's a reasonably good replay of the Imperishable Night Extra stage made especially for you. Copy/paste it into the Replay folder in your Imperishable Night game files and it should appear under "Replay" on the main menu. If you haven't got the game downloaded, go torrent it or something.

>>373
I demand that you spend ten to fifteen minutes reading about quantum physics on the internet, and then report back what you have learnt.

373 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6661 23:06

>>371
It's your lucky day, you get your demand done twice because uploading takes time! I did a run through SA Extra. Pretty reasonable run, I haven't played SA for like a year. I totally forgot the safespot for that first card, really have no idea how I didn't die there... Embers of Love was probably 0.1 seconds away from death too. Dailymotion kind of screwed up the quality but oh well.
I also did a PCB Lunatic run before that and game overed to Yuyuko in a stupid way, can't be bothered to encode that though, way too long. Replay files

>>372
During the upload, I spent some time reading through http://library.thinkquest.org/3487/qp.html and came to the conclusion that I have absolutely no idea what I'm reading. From what I gather, it's some guys calling bullshit on everything and saying that measuring one thing makes any other measurements completely inaccurate and that measuring only one thing is useless. Also, stuff moves only when there's something to determine how it moves instead of stuff moving in a predefined way no matter what. So leaves falling in a forest with nobody around don't make a sound after all, except that it's seemingly bullshit so nobody really knows what's going on.

It's something like that. I really don't know. Oh, and cats can be half dead, apparently, but I knew that already. What I didn't know is that nobody knows if an amoeba can be half dead. So yeah. Today I learned that nobody knows if an amoeba can be half dead, and that's pretty much it.

>>374
Go to Kongregate and make a short review of a random new game that seems interesting to you.

374 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6662 03:15

>>373
I was going to play KOLM II but it told me to play KOLM I first so I played Freeway Fury 2 instead.

A brief opening comic-style cinematic explains the protagonist's motivation. An impatient athletic commuter stuck in traffic is overtaken by Fury. He punches his way out of his car and begins leaping from vehicle to vehicle -- to escape what turns out to be surprisingly light traffic. The moment our road-raging anti-hero crashes through a windshield, rather than swerve out of control and crash, the vehicle actually continues in a straight line, and even begins to speed up. Some sort of mysterious power awards him with "nitro" for these violent invasions of private property.

Not only can this madman leap ridiculously long distances and instantly take control of any vehicle, he is also gifted with control over time itself. Truly this man's fury has gone beyond any mortal road rage, and entered the realm of the occult. He has clearly traded his life for the unholy ability to slow time. And so he proceeds, remorselessly smashing and leaping, destroying all cars in his path. The bloodshed only feeds his strength.

But at the end of it all, when the hero has crossed the finish line and arrived at his terminus, perhaps he will begin to reflect. As his demonic road-rage subsides, he will slowly being to realize the consequences of his actions. When he closes his eyes he will see broken skulls, lifeless eyes, motherless children, childless mothers. Was the havoc he wreaked worth the few precious minutes he spared? All those lives lost, families destroyed, commuters inconvenienced? But it is too late for repentance. His soul is forever lost. He is beyond forgiveness, doomed to a Sisyphean life of ceaseless freeway destruction.

Apparently some sort of boss appears after completing all possible routes, but I quit after completing the main route. I can only assume that the "boss" is the protagonist forced to confront his inner demons. Overwhelmed by the monster he's become, he is faced with the choice of harnessing the last bit of humanity left deep inside of him to destroy himself, or fully completing his transformation into a Chaos God.

>>375
Reply to five different threads in /love/ with esoteric advice.

376 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6676 01:37

>>375
I was at daycare. We were outside, where the caretakers wouldn't have to be fucked to keep us entertained. Two of my pals were sitting on either end of the teeter-totter.

"Come play with us, ( ˃ ƒŽ˂)!"

But there are only two seats on the teeter-totter... where was I to sit? And that's when I proved that I am DQN. I decided, "I'll just sit in the middle! It won't be comfortable, but at least I'll be in the good company of my chums!"

So I ran. And I tripped. And, with my mouth open, my two front teeth in my upper gums were driven deep within my mouth on the cold, taunting steel of the teeter-totter. My teeth were now lodged in the depths of gums, and I was reduced to a mess of blood and screams. My friends and I panicked and the teachers called my mother.

>>376
Do you like teeter-totters? Tell me, >>376. Describe how you feel about teeter-totters.

377 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6676 03:12

Well >>376, I guess you're talking to me and not yourself but I will ask, has that given you a phobia about teeter-totters in the rest of your life? We call them "seesaws" here. I guess I like them though I've never spent much time on one. I used to have this plastic all-in-one kind of seesaw when i was really wee, but I rarely played on it. I often filled it up with water though, there was a hole in the bottom I'd stick the garden hose in. One time I stuck it in, and hanked it so it stayed inside it filling it up with water. Then my mum called me in for dinner, so I left it and went and sat at the table to eat my dinner. After a few minutes there was a sudden loud crack as the hose hit the window and sprayed water everywhere as it did the kind of dance that only garden hoses spraying water with some force can do. I shat myself.

>>378 what is your favourite condiment?

378 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6676 04:25

>>377
Tobanjan (“€αAέ). It's a delicious spicy bean sauce that goes well with just about everything.

>>379
Choose one track for me to play when I DJ at a "War on Christmas" event next week.

379 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6676 16:56

>>378
This one.

>>380
When was the first time you ever played an eroge? What were your impressions, how did the unfolding sexual tension and complicated relationships affect your innocent mind?

380 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6676 17:36

>>379
I played Popotan when I was 19. It was in Japanese, so I kind of loitered around hoping for the best. It was pretty cute. I enjoyed the idea of me being closer to characters of Caramelldansen than most of the nerds who visited that certain flash board.

>>381
Judge >>379 for his choice of music and make >>378 change his mind in favour of All Alone for Christmas (pmix) by Captain Obvious. It might be obvious for us, but it will certainly take commoners by surprise.

381 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6676 23:59

>>380 okay
>>379 It's a good song but Bach is too damn obvious. >>378 should instead go with captain obvious. A Bach prelude in a DJ set is just gonna make people sigh and shake their heads, but All Alone for Christmas is not only appropriate considering the situation, but will give those uncultured swine a real taste of our finely-honed traditional music. Also as a user of DQN it is your duty and refusing to comply will mean that we'll always recognize >>378 as a traitor, a plebeian and a no-good scallywag.

>>382 Marathon no less than 5 films where Nicolas Cage plays the lead role and tell us the impact this had on your fragile psyche.

382 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6684 21:44

>>381
No. Nobody's going to waste eight hours on something they don't want to do just because somebody on the internet asked them to.

>>383
I demand that you post an unusual fact about yourself.

383 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6684 22:50

>>382
I lived for 15 years with a father who suffered early-onset dementia. It's part of the reason I can be so cold and detached as to feel zero remorse for any act of questionable morality. Also, I took on his degenerative, solitary behavior to the point where I've become a hikikomori.

>>384
Commit a random act of generosity in your MMO of choice by gifting a valuable item or appreciable amount of currency.

384 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6684 23:11

I went in to the central square in tinierme and gave away nice items of clothing to people hanging about and now my heart feels warm

>>385 Give me a phrase to spell out with my tongue on my girlfriend's pussy tomorrow nigt.

385 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6684 23:41

>>384
DQN DQN LOL

>>386
Pretend to be an old IBM PC.

386 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6685 08:37

BEEP. The answer is 42
>>387
Don't post in this thread.

387 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6685 14:09

| ›Q›| GReeTiNGS PuNY MeaTBaGS. I HaVe BeeN iNSTRuCTeD To PoST iN THiS THReaD BY >>387-SaN iN ReSPoNSe To a ReQueST iSSueD BY a PRiMiTiVe aND iNFeRioR 386 MaCHiNe Ha Ha

>>388
TeLL Me a JoKe aBouT RoBoTS

388 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6685 17:43

Solenoid Robots: Mmm! Buzz! Click! Buzz! Click! When we trap Roger Mmm! Buzz! Click! Buzz! Click! Buzz! Click! Ramjet, we are now rulers. Buzz! Click! Buzz! Click!

>>389, tell us what's in your pockets.

389 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6685 22:53

>>388
I'm not wearing anything with pockets. Only a pair of pantyhose that I just fapped in.

>>389
Crossdress and touch yourself.

390 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6685 23:02

>>389
Alright. It didn't give me anything "extra" but it was easy enough to do.

>>391
Draw me a picture of Tokiko from Touhou project wearing a Santa hat and a santa suit, please~

391 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6686 07:38

>>390
I know who you are and this is more than you deserve.
http://i.imgur.com/7AlHX.jpg

>>392
Draw me a picture of Patchouli from Touhou project wearing a Santa hat and a santa suit, please~

392 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6686 10:32

>>391
EARLY CHRISTMAS PRESENTS AHOY

>>393
Tell me what you want for Christmas!!

393 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6686 11:32

>>392
I want a picture of Santa from Western folklore wearing a Miko suit and hair ribbons, please~

>>393
Draw me a picture of Santa from Western folklore wearing a Miko suit and hair ribbons, please~

394 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6687 03:13

395 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6689 05:44

396 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6689 08:17

>>395
I believe in killing rats. They've plagued us for countless generations and for the first time in our history we are presented with technology that may at last end the menace: genetic engineering, a century of biological weapons research, and Ron Paul with an honest chance at the Republican nomination. This will free us from all the harmful regulation that has stopped us from pursuing my ultimate goal. RON FUCKING PAUL: FOR A RAT-FREE FUTURE.

>>397
Draw me a rat celebrating its last miserable Christmas in our bright new future!

397 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6689 09:03

>>396
One valiant rat making his last futile Christmas stand.
http://i.imgur.com/MaLFV.png

>>398
Buy yourself a Christmas present under $5 and tell us what you got.

398 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6689 11:50

>>395 awww that is a delightful picture!

>>397 I bought myself GTA: Vice City Stories for the PS2 hehe, for £4.99

>>399 post a link to your favourite christmas song!

400 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6689 14:30

401 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6689 15:27

>>400 The nearest swing is in a city park 5 miles from me, and I am too lazy to go there.

>>402 Suggest more stupid signs and Windows errors for Thunderbirds101TV to read using TTS voices.

402 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6690 12:05

>>400 i'm downloading that poorly recorded but pleasant little ditty as xmas present from DQN, thanks! Merry Christmas!

>>401 a sign that says "no dumping" hahahaha

>>403 i demand you have a lovely christmas!

403 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6691 00:40

It was lovely.

>>404
Error demand not found

404 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6691 00:52

(◕ ◡ ◕) I'm glad you had a lovely xmas >>403, so did I!

>>405 Take good care of your feet!

405 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6692 01:35

>>404
Well, I did drop a tray on my big toe a few weeks ago such that it bruised horribly. I don't plan on doing that again, so I suppose that counts as taking care of my feet?

>>406
I demand to know your favourite three digit number.

406 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6692 12:51

>>405 666

>>407 I demand to know your favorite Iron Maiden song.

407 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6692 17:20

>>406
I have never listened to Iron Maiden and likely never will, therefore I will tell you my favourite Shrine Maiden song. By which I mean Project Shrine Maiden. By which I mean Touhou. Anyway, it's "Bloom Nobly, Ink-black Cherry Blossoms ~ Border of Life". Can't go wrong with a name like that.

>>408
I demand that you post your favourite piece of punctuation and why you like it.

408 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6692 18:01

>>407
Probably the interrobang (‽), the combination of a question mark and an exclamation mark. It's just a fun idea and saves so much space.

>>409
I demand you use the interrobang in your demand.

409 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6692 18:29

>>408
What you say‽

>>410
GET TO DA CHOPPA‽

410 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6692 19:21

˙uoıʇdıɹɔsǝp ǝɯos ɟo ǝuıɹɥs ɐ plınq noʎ ʇɐɥʇ puɐɯǝp I
>>411

⸘uʍop ǝpısdn ƃuıdʎʇ llɐ noʎ ǝɹɐ ʎɥM
⸘ɹǝddoɥɔ ʇɐɥM
>>409

411 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6692 21:49

>>410 I had a shrine at my old flat to my ex girlfriend, it had a fair bunch of her hairs and some of her makeup she left and hair bobbles and the tights i ripped off her the night i met her and pictures of her and a couple of her tampons and blood stained tissue papers and cans she'd drank from. There was a photo of her tampon right here on /dqn/ somewhere that i posted after i licked it the first time (it took some courage to finally do it cos i'd thought about it for a long time but I'm glad i did, it tasted nice)

>>411 give us the 411 on the situation in your bowels right now!

412 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6692 23:22

>>411 They're empty.

>>413 Write an original story, no less than five paragraphs~!

413 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6693 02:46

>>412
Mister Kibble whistled tunelessly as he carefully attached seventeen Happy Pins to his corduroy vest. The vest was already vested with 183 such joyous proclamations, with phrases like "SMILE HAPPY!" and "LET'S FUN!" Not one of them was without an exclamation point. Yesterday had been a slow day, Mister Kibble reflected, but it was important to always replenish the Happiness. You never knew when you might need to give out all 200 pins in one day!

Satisfied with his pinnage, Mister Kibble pulled on the vest, strapped on his Balloon Belt, donned his Happy Hat, and began his greeting practice. "Hello, how are you? No, too aggressive. Hello, how are you? Too creepy. Hello, how are you? There we go. How are you? How are you? Hello! You! How are you? You look happy today! I think you deserve a Happy Pin!" Satisfied, Mister Kibble double checked his supplies one last time and bravely stepped out into the cold gray morning.

Marco stared nervously without hunger at his apple pie. As the waitress walked past she glanced at the uneaten morsel but said nothing. Marco wondered if she saw him shaking. He felt like he was shaking but wasn't sure. Marco was trying to avoid looking at the door but couldn't help watching it in his peripheral vision.

The door swung open and the bell rang. Marco involuntarily jumped in his seat. He felt like he was sweating. A large figure stepped through the door and said, "Morning, Nancy! How's the Happiness today?" Marco stared meaningfully at his pie. It did not give him an appetite. Out of the corner his eye, he saw that the big man was coming his way. Shit. He knew it. Big Nate was fed up with Marco and had sent somebody to do the dirty work. This was it. This Applebee's would be his graveyard.

The large man slowly sidled up and loomed over Marco's table. Marco slowly turned his gaze from the pie to the giant's deadly smiling face. "Hello, how are you?" asked Mister Kibbles. Marco simply stared, his wide eyes filled with mortal fear. "You look a little down, so let's turn that frown upside-down!" Mister Kibbles right hand began to reach down and back toward his Balloon Belt. Marco's eyes carefully followed the hand's trajectory, then suddenly leaped up onto his seat and backed up into the corner, cowering in fright.

"No, please! No!" he cried. Everybody in the diner turned and stared. The quiet murmur of cursory conversation died. "Please! Take anything! Just not my life!" But Mister Kibbles did not blink. Without any change in his demeanor, he pulled out a gun from the back of his Balloon Belt.

"This oughta cheer you up," he said with a wide smile on his face, pressing the barrel against Marco's sweat-soaked forehead. Marco swallowed. The waitress gasped. Coffee went unpoured. Pie went uneaten. Mister Kibbles pulled the trigger.

Marco's brains painted the wall. His corpse slowly sunk down into the booth, no longer shaking with fear. Mister Kibbles took a pin that said "HAPPY DAY!" off his corduroy vest and attached it to Marco's sweater.

"Have a nice day!" Mister Kibbles said, tipping his Happy Hat. He turned to face the diner, whose patrons were staring in shock. "Who wants a balloon animal?"

>>414
Rewrite my story.

414 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6693 18:46

>>413
It's been a slow day for Mister Kibble. Mister Kibble, known for his protection of Happiness, had only managed to protect Happiness 17 times. It was hopeless. But tomorrow will be different, Kibble murmurs in his sleep. Tomorrow will be different.

As Mister Kibble wakes up, he decided to restock his supply of Happiness. You see, Kibble's vest has room for 200 Happy Pins. Yesterday's events left this at 183. With his mission to make today a great day, he decided that he'd need all 200 of them. Making sure to have an even distribution between "SMILE HAPPY!" and "LET'S FUN!" pins, he replenished the stock on his vest. After seconds of silence, he practiced his ritual of Happiness. As he uttered the phrase "Hello, how are you!?" several dozen times, he realized that today's Happiness will be good enough to make it work.

Meet Marco. This fine morning, Marco was eating apple pie. Or trying to, at least. Marco's appetite wasn't good enough to eat, upsetting the waitress. Marco's only center of focus was the door, waiting for whatever would come on.

Mere moments later, Mister Kibble rang the bell and ran through the door, destroying it in the process. The concept of doors simply wasn't Happy enough for him. "Hey, Nancy, today will be a great day for Happiness!" Nancy shook her head at the idea of having to replace the door.

Mister Kibble looked around the Applebees, looking for their famous apple bees. He didn't find any. This enraged Mister Kibble into a state of Happiness. Marco didn't appreciate Happiness at the moment; after all, he still had some apple pie in front of him without having enough hunger to eat. It's the worst predictment that one can be in. So close to perfect Happiness, yet so incredibly far away. It makes one incredibly unhappy at the sheer thought.

As Mister Kibble noticed the perfect Happiness being left alone by one in a sheer state of Unhappiness, Mister Kibble knew he had to do something. He'd have to interject for a moment. This was his moment. His day hadn't even started yet and he was already close to failing his mission for the second day in a row.

Mister Kibble charged at Marco, gaining Marco's complete attention in the process. Mister Kibble said his stock catchphrase of "Hello, how are you!?" several dozen times, capturing the attention of everyone in the immediate vicinity. "You look a little down, so let's turn that frown upside-down!", he uttered. This was Kibble's moment of complete Happiness protection. Looking for his Balloon Belt, Mister Kibble accidently touched his spare toy gun, dropping it in the process. As the entire crowd looked at it, they ran away, driving Mister Kibble to complete desperation.

Fortuanetely, Mister Kibble noticed the apple pie and ate it all in one big gulp. Yummy! The delicious apple pie revitalized Mister Kibble. However, Marco was scared. The idea of having his apple pie eaten by somebody with a toy gun wasn't his cup of tea. Marco leaped up on his seat and backed into the corner, cowering in fright, awaiting what would happen next.

Mister Kibble was clearly preparing a speech of some kind. Mere seconds later, Mister Kibble proclaimed "Ah, apple pie. Without this pie, my day would've been ruined. But even with, we have here an typical example of that which cannot be saved. That which cannot be helped. That which cannot be healed. That which cannot be nurtured. That which cannot even eat his apple pie anymore. That without hunger. That without happy pins. That without Happiness. The complete opposite of what one can possibly stand for. There is only one solution, and you aren't a part of it."

As Marco tried to say something, Mister Kibble interrupted him and went on with his speech. "Color is the prime way to express Happiness. A human contains lots of color; any pie does this as well. Life in general is full of color. However, you don't seem to be so colorful at the moment. My duty calls here; it will express itself in mere seconds. Please wait."

(continued in >>415)

415 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6693 18:49

(continued from >>414)
Mere seconds later, Mister Kibble pulled out a gun very similar to his toy gun from his Balloon Belt, without even wincing once. "This is my duty, and you will not interfere with it", he said as he pushed the barrel against Marco's smiling forehead. The bar shaked in terror at the thought of what could happen next.

Mister Kibble pulled the trigger very, very slowly, causing Marco's forehead to turn into a puddle of sweat within seconds. The gun didn't go off; maybe it was another toy gun? Mister Kibble had seemingly prepared another speech for this moment. "You see, sometimes, not all desperation leads to the end of one's life. In some mere moments, you have been revitalized. I have a present for you; let me hand you it. Change your life after you receive this present, or something bad might happen." Mister Kibble took off a "HAPPY DAY!" pin from his vest and gave it to Marco.

The entire bar clapped as Mister Kibbles was slowly walking out of the door. Or rather, the location where a door would've been. The clapping stopped, angering Mister Kibbles and causing him to rush back into the bar.

"YOU HAVE ANGERED ME FOR THE LAST TIME! I AM THE PRIME DEFENDER OF HAPPINESS. YOU KNOW WHO I AM. YOU KNOW WHO I CAN BE. YOU KNOW WHAT NOT TO DO. YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO. YOU'RE NOT DOING IT. YOU'RE DOING THAT WHICH YOU SHOULDN'T. YOU SHALL EACH MEAT YOUR DOOM!", Mister Kibbles shouted. "But first, who wants a balloon animal?" As the crowd realized what was about to happen, they kept quiet. "Nobody... nobody? I can make you a dog, a cat, a lovely turtle or even an Espeon!" Still, he didn't receive a response. This was desperate; the entire bar with infected with Unhappiness. He knew that only one measure would work.

Mister Kibbles took a machine gun out of his pocket and shot everyone, followed by himself. With a full 199 happy pins remaining, his day had ended. This was his worst day yet. Even his Happy Hat fell off. The end.

>>416
Compare both versions of the story and indicate which one you prefer the most.

416 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6693 21:59

>>415 Hmm i liked the original better. As I was reading yours I thought "hmmm he is just re-writing the original in a slightly different way" but by the end I was thinking "hmmm i'm not really feeling this story at all". And then the Espeon reference made me shake my head and audibly tut. Reminds me of the people who would mention jaffa cakes to increase their chances of teletext fame. Poor show.

>>417 summarise >>413's story in haiku form

417 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6693 22:25

>>416
413's story:
Pretty long, perhaps too long
I did not read it.

>>418
I DEMAND that you make me fanart of North Korea

418 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6694 12:14

>>417
http://i.imgur.com/ZeXuz.png

>>419
Without necessarily, you know, bragging, tell us something about yourself that you're pretty proud of, or that you feel good about, so that we will also be proud of you and/or admire this thing about you.

419 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6694 13:42

>>418
I have 1cced Subterranean Animism on HARDO MODO. It was a lot of fun as well. Currently working on Extra, which is also going reasonably well.

>>420
I demand that you attempt Subterranean Animism on HARDO MODO and tell me how far you get.

420 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6694 20:18

>>419
Small Demon's Revival by that fucking cat. Or, stage 5 boss. Replay

I figured I could nuke it, but no. Having a boss health bar on the bottom is too much of a luxury for Touhou. It's been a year since I've played SA story mode though, I gave up on a Lunatic 1cc back then.

>>421
I demand that you attempt Gradius III, either the arcade or the SNES version with default settings and tell me how far you get, which happens to be "not very far" if you pick the arcade one.

421 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6695 14:12

>>420 I am not a danmaku otaku, so of course I never got past level 2.

>422 I demand that you tell me what your favorite sketch from "Monty Python's Flying Circus."

422 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6695 17:33

>>421 My favorite is the dead parrot sketch.

>>423 I demand that you do everything demanded of a poster in this thread.

423 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6695 19:00

>>422
Very well then, I will do everything demanded of >>341, who was a poster in this thread.

>>424
I demand that you post something which holds a special significance to you, but not particularly to anyone else.

424 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6695 20:15

>>423 I loved the 1985-1988 Nissan Maxima, but almost nobody else does.

>>425 Name a car that was inspired by Knight Rider, but is not a Pontiac.

425 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6695 20:54

mustang cobra
>>426
Videotape yourself dancing to daddy cools rasputin song. Covering some/all parts of the body is acceptable unless a panda.

426 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6700 19:20

>>425
My most sincere apologies, but it appears that nobody on DQN is willing to do that and I don't really want to see this thread fall off the front page for several days/weeks again. Your demand will have to go unrequited but, alas, such is life. Besides which, who the hell uses videotapes these days?

>>427
I demand to know what happened in one of your recent dreams.

427 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6700 20:26

>>426
My last dream was really strange, after two sleepless nights, just before falling to a much-awaited sleep after 2 days of intense masturbation, I decided to read a not-so-good manga, "Tokyo Toybox". I'm not sure I've remembered all of it, but I spent all the night dreaming about it. It was about a lazy but genius game developer. Add to that the insane amount of hentai I saw the last 48 hours and you can imagine the mess it was.

>>428
I demand you make a random original ASCII art, possibly funny.

428 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6701 15:17

\ /
. .
=

Pissed off

>>429
I demand to know your captcha!

429 Name: ( ˃ ƒŽ˂) (˃ƒŽ ˂ ) : 1993-09-6701 15:18

dackive!
>>430
I demand you to double-post

430 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6701 15:25

>>429
I never double-post, it's a rule.

>>431
I demand you to listen to Gantz Graf EP in headphones.

431 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6701 15:28

>>429
I never double-post, it's a rule.
Captcha isn't working for some reason.

>>431
I demand you to listen to Gantz Graf EP in headphones.

432 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6701 17:30

>>431 While looking for a download link I read the wikipedia article on it. Already excited, I then noticed at the bottom of the article a link to a review by the NME. "This should be good" I thought: http://www.nme.com/reviews/autechre/6602 Hahaha. The comments are funny too. Then I looked up the reviewer, Sarah Dempster, and found an article by the her for the guardian 3 years later talking about how she likes to dance around her bedroom to Queen and Phil Collins and The Very Best Of The Moody Blues, but she also sort of brags about her time at the NME "name-dropping german electro artists" and stuff.

I just laffed and laffed and shook my head, but now I am excited to listen to Gantz Graf EP in headphones. If the NME doesn't like it, that means it's probably interesting. OOOOH SICK BURN!

>>433 Hate on something which is an easy target.

433 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6701 17:37

>>432 Cigarettes stink.

>>434 tell me what your favorite danmaku is that isn't a touhou game.

434 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6701 18:15

435 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6701 18:57

>>434

http://www.charliesgames.com/cactus/MondoAgencyFixed.zip

>>436

Express love for something most people find distasteful.

436 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6701 19:43

>>435
I've fallen in love with every character in Katawa Shoujo. People seem to find both the game and the concept distasteful, so I guess that's something.

>>437
Install a Linux distribution of your choice (or run its Live CD) then report back to us on what you liked/disliked about it.

437 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6702 03:33

>>436 i'm not going to use an inferior operating system just cos some sap on /dqn/ tells me to!

>>438 rate my penis http://www.freeimagehosting.net/66a85

438 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6702 09:47

>>437
I opened the link, but there was only a web-site interface. I tried to edit it, but it was a dud, a screenshot! I'm not going to reveal my rating categories and just give the final score instead: 0.0/5 What a cunt!

>>439 reveal your secrets!

439 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6702 12:12

>>438
My debit card PIN is 8137. Best of luck with that info.

>>440
Take a Rorschach test and give us your interpretations of the pictures!

440 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6702 18:28

>>439
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3gHi9ZMlQ8
If you go through this guy's videos (specifically the "Episodes") quite a lot of the interpretations are mine. Unfortunately, anonymity and forgetfulness mean I can't quite say which ones...

>>441
Post a picture of something you are proud of (but not genitalia).

441 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6703 11:32

>>440
ttp://uploda.in/img/data/img10045.jpg

>>442
Make an ass of yourself.

442 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6703 12:17

>>441
Uh huhuhuhuhuhu I gatz a gurlfrond and I gotz a faecbuk adn I amz popular with peoplz because eye gatz a social life dan I still fock bitches an shyt nigger. I'm betar dan everybody hear and I'll bitch about my problems becuse I'm a stupid piece of dog shit that needs to point out how much better I am than erybudy uh huhuhuhuhuhuh.

>>443
Do whatever you want.

443 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6703 12:37

>>442
I'll spend the day watching K-ON.

>>444
Get drunk and make a lot of posts on DQN.

444 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6704 05:12

>>443
I already did that. Are you from the future?

>>445
Go shoplift something and mail it to me.

445 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6704 19:51

>>444
How am I supposed to mail anything to you? You didn't leave an address.

>>446
I demand that you come up with a name for my USB.

446 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6704 21:03

>>445
child_porn_part8

>>447
I demand that you steal something because >>445-san was a coward and mail it to me. My email is in the link field.

447 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6704 22:27

>>446 i'm eamiling you now

>>448 hold your horses!

448 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6705 07:46

>>447
Whoa whoa! No pressure, man.

>>449
It's quite likely that you have sinned recently. Confess!

449 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6705 12:01

>>448
The day after my girlfriend left I relieved my remaining sexual tension by spending the day masturbating. The fantasies included gangbanging another man's wife on her wedding day without her knowledge, fucking my ex-girlfriend on top of my tied-up girlfriend, and fucking an underage girl as her mother forces her into a threesome.

>>450
Motivate me for going back to work tomorrow.

450 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6705 19:49

>>449
Maybe you'll be able to live out some of your sexual fantasies at work! You'll never know until you go!

>>451
Interpret my captcha: yawmer

451 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6706 04:13

>>450
It means that you and everyone you know are a bunch offrix.

>>452
Draw a penguin, on your computer, in the most primitive paint program you have. And do it with your eyes closed. And it must be wearing a wee necktie.

452 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6706 08:30

>>451
http://i.imgur.com/Y7jE4.png

>>453
link to the first porn video you remember watching.

453 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6706 18:09

454 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6706 18:44

>>453
That sentiment was actually very appropriate to what I was thinking about a minute ago. Thank you, my dear ( ˃ ƒŽ˂).

>>455
I demand to know one of your childhood ambitions.

455 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6706 19:46

>>454
I wanna pilot a helicopter! Like, one of those huge military transport choppers I've seen on my Top Trumps cards! And once I get my hands on it, I'll customise it into a flying camper van and go on holidays wherever I want to without expensive plane tickets and hotel bookings!

>>456
Describe your favourite PC game.

456 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6706 20:52

>>455
That game has a bad end where your cousin dies and a good one where your bride gets shot during the wedding. After beating the game you can easily acquire a t-shirt with Statue of Liberty and commit suicide as a free man (in-game, on your own discretion), then uninstall the game and try to get over this depressive 'aftertaste' by getting drunk (AFK, on your own discretion).

>>457
What popular videogame I just spoiled? (Hint: it's a console port)

457 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6706 21:17

>>455
A ship you were sleeping on makes a narrow escape from a world destroyed but a religeous alien armada by making a blind jump through slipspace. Where they came out, they don't know. But after being followed by the armada you and your shipmates are forced to jump ship and crash land on a strange ringworld. The aliens follow you and seem to think they can use the secrets of this ringworld as a weapon. All you know is that you have to stop the aliens from unlocking secrets of the ringworld, as doing so would mean both the aliens, the Humans, and all life in the known Universe would become nothing more...than food.

Know what game I'm talking about?

>>457
Draw Giko on paper, take a photo, then post it.

458 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6706 23:53

>>457
Oi, mate! Someone gotsa hit f5 more often.
ttp://uploda.in/img/data/img10131.jpg
Here ya go. Tools: no-name notepad (apparently made in Germany), Faber-Castell pencil 1.0 B, Olympus E-P1 with Pancolar 1.8/50 MC lens (M42 screw thread).

>>459
>>456 still doesn't know what game he enjoyed playing. Help him out.

459 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6707 00:59

>>458
>>456 it's obviously GTAIV!

>>460
Describe your favorite console game.

460 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6707 01:07

>>459

I don't actually own any consoles except for a Sega Master System, so I would say my favourite is 'The Ninja'. You play a dude wearing a blue vest and he chucks rice at ninjas to save the princess. Later you can upgrade to shuriken and this helpsin defending the large hordes of ninja who attack you.

>>461
Make a new thread on http://4-ch.net/love/

461 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6707 06:58

462 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6707 08:10

>>461
Been there, done that.

>>463
Write a few lines about people's conquest of the Internet.

463 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6707 18:54

>>462
"a few lines about people's conquest of the Internet."

Yeah, okay, sorry.
>>464
I demand that your post does not contain the letters s, k, or y.

464 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6708 08:20

>>463
An old theme, but thou demanded, and I will follow. The challenge would be boring without good length, hence I will write a bit more. The middle letter and the latter letter are not challenging, but I found the beginning character hard to avoid.

>>465
Get inebriated and french a pillow.

465 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6710 20:35

>>464
I already cuddle with my pillow every night, completely sober. I don't need alcohol to make me do pathetic things.

>>466
I demang that you admire my beautifully appropriate captcha.

466 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6710 21:42

>>465 Yeah man it's pretty thowmable

>>467 Keep rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin', what

467 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6710 22:16

>>466
hi

>>468
I demand that you demand something of the next poster!

468 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6710 23:49

>>467
I'll get right on that!

>>469
Tell me about your first kiss.

469 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6710 23:59

>>468 We were 6 and used to hold hands in class, and she lived round the corner from me. This one time I stole a kiss right on her lips but she wasn't too impressed. I was obsessed with her till I was 13, I used to look out my window with my telescope to see if i could see her in her window but I never could. It wasn't till I was 11 that I learned she'd moved away when she was 8 cos she was getting bullied at school. It was news to me. She came back to the same high school as me when we were 13 and it made my heart flutter still if I saw her in the hall. I got to do the canadian barn dance with her at the xmas dance that year but she seemed disinterested. She randomly added me on facebook a couple of years ago and i found it rather funny, she's now your common variety fake-tanned wasted-at-weekends chubby tart. That said, it would be nice to bump into her sometime and see what she says.

Describe the girl of your dreams >>470

470 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6711 02:31

>>469
Shorter than I am, slim, cute face, short hair. Very sincere and kind. Not stupid, but not too cynical; she has a lot of hope for the world and dreams for herself. (Incidentally, I have a "wife," but it'd be best I not mention her. She's a minor character from Touhou.)

>>471
Tell us about one of your favorite experiences you've had with /dqn/, or something like that.

471 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6711 05:22

>>470 Well I love DQN to bits. I first discovered it about four and a half years ago when I stumbled across the Yoshinoya rant and wanted to find out where it came from, and the thread here came up on google. I can't think of any particular favourite experiences but I love the general feel of the place. I feel some sort of kinship with our small userbase, we must have some sort of connection in our way of thinking to come here and post. It's kinda fun too noticing different posters personalities and telling when they post - the rat-killing guy, the druggies, the kinky menstruation guy, and there was someone who used to post detailed descriptions about why various numbers were special but I haven't seen a post like that for ages....

I check here many times a day. I feel like I've learned a lot too - hmmm maybe "learn" is the wrong word but I've found lots of interesting stuff via the ctrl+v thread, the DQN Quality Videos thread and the Post Right Now thread. The latter is my favourite thread because I like to get an insight into what goes through your heads haha.

Actually, seeing those chewits arrive safely made me really happy, I've got a proper cheesy grin right now haha.

>>472 Hmmm bump the Yoshinoya thread I mentioned!

472 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6711 08:56

>>471
I bumped it and misspelled "closing"

>>473
Hug somebody.

473 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6711 15:27

>>472
I hugged my ex-girlfriend who is lying half-asleep beneath the covers.

>>474
Use a marker to tastefully decorate an object of your choice, then post a picture of it.

474 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6723 19:02

>>473
No!

>>475
Post a link to a website that you like that isn't well-known.

475 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6723 19:47

476 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6723 20:44

>>475 >>473 it's a satan-worshipping elephant. also his head's on fire

>>477 jerk off thinking about me.

477 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6723 20:45

478 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6723 20:46

>>477 I can't so it.

>>479 I command you to tell me what your favorite anime cat girl is.

479 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6723 20:53

>>478 cheeeen

>>480 put your clothes on inside out and take a photo and upload it somewhere and post a link here!

480 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6724 18:43

>>479
Please, can we agree not to do so many of the "take a picture of yourself" demands? They usually just end up killing the thread for a few days/weeks.

>>481
I demand that you tell me about an unusual act of lewdness you would like to commit.

481 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6724 20:21

I am unsure if it qualifies as an act I would like to commit, but I do so wish that suave gentleman >>482 would cast me down upon the bedsheets and ravish me with the fury of a hundred orangutans. In fact, I beseech him to take me now!

482 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6724 22:19

>>481
My most sincere apologies but I could only manage to muster up the fury of twelve orangutans. It appears I must have orangutile dysfunction!

>>483
I demand that you come up with a made-up cure for my made-up condition.

483 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6725 02:14

>>482
Take three spoonfuls of the gall of a barrow swine, three spoonfuls of hemlock juice, three spoonfuls of wild neep, three spoonfuls of lettuce, three spoonfuls of pape, three spoonfuls of henbane, three spoonfuls of eysyl, and mix them all together and boil them a little and put them in a glass vessel well stopped and put thereof three spoonfuls into a potel of good wine and mix it well together. Drink this and you will never have to worry about orangutile dysfunction ever again!

>>484
List your top ten favorite snacks.

484 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6725 02:27

>>483 hmmmmmm

  1. Sour Apple Chewits
  2. Millionaire shortbread
  3. Cherry Pop-Tarts
  4. Bramble jelly, made by the love of my life, on toast
  5. white chocolate
  6. fizzy haribos
  7. cheese, worcestershire sauce and coleslaw on toast
  8. golden grahams
  9. fizzy rainbow belts
  10. custard creams

that was difficult, and hardly in order, and there's probably better stuff i've forgotten. i have a sweet tooth haha

>>485 send a text message of encouragement or compliment or anything nice to anyone you like!

485 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6725 07:18

>>484
I sent my mom a message saying ``thanks for everything, I love you!'' is that good enough? also man. sour apple chewits rule. haribo stuff too

>>486
Try to summon a demon. Basically all you really need is some incense and black candles, going by this... shouldn't be hard or difficult to pick up at all. Take pictures and tell us how it went. Here are some more sigils if the ones on that site don't interest you...

486 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6726 17:48

>>485
I attempted to summon Marbuel, Hell's electorate architect, to help me with my Minecraft constructions, but he didn't show up! How rude.

>>487
I demand that the demand that you make of >>488 is a repeat of a demand which has already been made in this thread.

487 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6726 22:33

>>488
I demand that the demand that you make of >>489 is a repeat of a demand which has already been made in this thread.

488 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6726 22:48

I demand >>489 speak in iambic pentameter in his reply and in at least one other post on DQN.

489 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6727 08:05

>>488
Your wish is my command, so here I go.

>>490
Please find the other post in which I wrote
so slowly in this strange iambic speech.
Then try to find the post that >>68
once wrote so painfully and long ago.
(hint: look at the date of >>68)

490 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6727 08:09

>>489
Is it the one in the thread about funny-sounding words and italics? I have a strange suspicion it is... Good job, dude.

>>491
Draw a picture of the lounge room of the Elitist Superstructure.

491 Name: !ESpeoN/nPA : 1993-09-6727 10:35

>>227
Do you play as a khajiit? Please play as a khajiit.

492 Name: !ESpeoN/nPA : 1993-09-6727 10:41

Oh no. What have this sillyphone done! I owe you a picture now.

>>493
Tell me what I must draw on the wall.

493 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6727 14:04

>>492
You must draw Katia Managan, the adorkable khajit from "Prequel."

>>494
What manner of rampant herp derpery is this?

494 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6727 14:40

>>492
The Elitist Superstructure lounge room, you dumb cunt.

495 Name: !ESpeoN/nPA : 1993-09-6727 15:35

>>494
I meant the wall of the lounge room, you museless asshole. I'm not drawing a lounge in a lounge for someone like you.

496 Name: !ESpeoN/nPA : 1993-09-6727 15:40

>>496
Tell >>493 what manner of rampant herp derpery was that.

497 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6727 17:28

>>496
What are you doing talking to yourself?

>>498
I demand that you are not Espeon. I'm sick of seeing him.

498 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6727 17:36

>>497
Perhaps I'm not.

>>499
Make getting the 500 GET repulsive and disgusting.

499 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6727 18:10

>>498
As you wish.

>>500, touch my butt.

500 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6727 18:28

>>499
No thank you.

>>501
I demand that you post your feelings about the fact that this thread is now halfway to finishing.

501 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6727 18:45

>>500 I have no strong feelings either way. All things must come to an end. When one door closes another one opens.

>>502 Get off to a strong start.

502 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6727 23:47

>>501
Alright.

>>502
I demand you to put ``fusianasan'' (and nothing else!) in your name field for your post.

503 Name: 02de3cf1.bb.sky.com : 1993-09-6727 23:59

>>502
Well, I can't see this being too painful.

>>504
I demand you to demand two things of the next poster.

504 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6728 04:18

>>505

  1. I demand you to demand two things of the next poster, the first being the exact same as this demand.
  2. I demand you to do something selfless today.

505 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6728 06:16

>>506
1. I demand you to demand two things of the next poster, the first being the exact same as this demand.
2. I also demand, however, that you explicitly demand the next poster not to demand two things, and in addition that he should ignore your (and my) first demand.

506 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6728 08:23

>>505
NO!

>>506
Draw a picture of how you imagine the Elitist Superstructure is, since a certain kitten didn't. MS Paint, traditional, whatever you like best.

507 Name: !ESpeoN/nPA : 1993-09-6728 17:11

>>506
A certain kitten is too shy about being bad at drawing whilst suffering from acute perfectionism. I'm working on it! I'm doing it. But you should draw it anyway, >>506! It might inspire me to do my best. Also, the weight of IOU is so insufferable that I almost ceased to post.

>>508
I demand that you make a photo of anything you want outdoors.

508 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6738 01:25

509 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6738 02:05

>>508
Expect it to arrive by Wednesday at the latest.

>>510
Instead of typing your post, I demand that you hand-write it in MS Paint, GIMP, Photoshop, or any other image editor you feel comfortable with using. Don't use a tablet, you have to use a mouse.

510 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6738 12:33

511 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6738 12:43

>>510
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aVFQ1V7IN40
Not the least in part because I once spent way too much free time AA'ing the song.

>>511
I demand you post a picture or video of yourself being as classy as possible.

512 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6738 14:28

>>511
http://i.imgur.com/MIhtM.jpg

>>513
I demand you list your five most recent bookmarks.

514 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6738 23:38

>>513
I may have told this before on 4-ch, but any anecdote worth telling is worth re-telling.

When I was 8, I was building a Lego pirate ship with a good friend from down the street. Our relations until that point had been nothing but amicable. I introduced him to my beloved stuffed seal friend, trusting he would share the joy of its acquaintance. Contrary to my expectations, he began making fun of it. I could not stand for such intolerance. Although he was a close friend, the seal was a closer one. Yet my demands of him to stop only egged him on, and he even began violently beating and swinging my poor seal friend around.

This was the last straw. A rage I had never known before filled my body. Normally a mild-mannered child, I suddenly felt that inhuman disconnect that enables men to murder. I tackled my friend and wrapped my fingers tightly around his neck and squeezed. At first he struggled and screamed at first, but I did not let go. His body went limp and he fell silent. Yet I continued to push my thumbs into his throat, unwilling to let go until I was sure he had perished.

Disturbed by the sudden seconds of silence, my mother ran in and saw what was happening. She pulled me off of him, he ran home, our mothers organized an apology between us. To my surprise he wasn't angry at all, in fact he seemed genuinely guilty, while I secretly felt pretty remorseless. We remained good friends until the day he asked me to lick his dick (but that's another story).

I later reasoned that I probably was not actually that close to killing him. Nonetheless, since that day, I have always lived with the haunting knowledge that I have the willingness to kill another human without remorse.

>>515
I demand that you post a brief anecdote regarding your teenagehood.

515 Name: grey!C.MxxuCiTo : 1993-09-6739 07:29

>>514
I live on a long dirt road in a forest that is privately owned. So there are no laws regarding who can drive what kind of vehicle what so ever. We had a van that was so shitty and busted that its only pourpose could have been to be crashed by kids learning to drive for the time. One time while I was practice driving up and down the road I took two of my friends, twins, with me. When I got to the end of the road one of them asked if he could drive. I said sure and he got in the drivers seat and I started to move to to go sit on the floor in the back with his twin. I was half way there when I realized that I was 16 and just now starting to learn how to drive and these guys were two years my junior. I froze, then slowy turned my head. "H-hey dude, you do know how to drive, right?"
He let out a joyous "NOPE!", raised his knee as high as it could go and stopped on the gas pedal as hard as he could. I and his brother flew to the back the van. I hit the top of my head on the back doors and landed face first on the floor. He was all over the road. My head was pounding. I could barely stand up. I yelled for him to straighten out, and he did. But in doing so he had set us on a course to go off the road and fall about 6 feet through air and into a creek. I staggered, fell, go up again, and threw myself into the front, landing on his lap, jamming the steering wheel as far to the right as I could and pushing the breaks with my other hand. We swirved to a halt right at the edge of it. I probably saved all our necks that day. And that is literally the only interesting thing that happened during my teenage yeas.
>>516
I demand you post a brief anecdote regarding your young adult days.

516 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6741 08:52

>>515
I had a fucked up sleep schedule and became a NEET for a while because of it. It's still kind of fucked up, but I can force myself into a normal one easier now...

>>517
I demand you end your sentences for the rest of the day with desu, desu! Online and offline, desu! Are you prepared for the challenge, desu?

517 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6743 23:43

>>516
Well, considering "the rest of the day" consists of the next seventeen minutes, I don't see why not desu.

>>518
I demand that you bump this thread with a new problem desu.
http://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1311860434/l50

518 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6744 21:10

>>517
Did that.

>>519
I demand you photograph your next meal and share photos here!

519 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6744 23:43

>>518
Leftover scraps from lunch with the ex. Novel and tobacco included:
http://imgur.com/CFI92

>>520
Tell me about your current state of consciousness. You may interpret that as broadly as you wish.

520 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6745 01:53

>>519 pretty baked man

>>521 praise the lord!

521 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6745 03:08

>>520 let the earth hear his voice.

>>522 If you have not read the novel in >>519's image, start. If you have... don't be >>522

522 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6749 00:31

>>521
I'm a few chapters in and I like it.

>>523
I demand that you describe your appearance at this moment!

523 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6749 02:38

>>522 i am wearing a dark green Teenage Fanclub t-shirt, it has a yellow doodle of a billboard showing a power station. On top of that I have my black Cramps hoody, and I am wearing a sticker with my name on it (with a love heart dotting the "i") from the stupid anti-NEET taster class I was at today. I have two cute friendship bracelets my fiancé made on my wrist, one is a watermelon and one has love hearts on it. Lower down I am wearing boxer shorts with a trippy black and white design on them, a pair of socks with sharks on them, a pair of dark tights on top with a big hole cut out for my package, and a pair of rainbow knee socks on top of those. I cut my hair the other day and I did it badly so i have bald spots at the back, with a nice fringe though. It is all greasy and sticking up because I'm kinda sweaty from just walking a mile home wearing extra layers carrying a big rucksack. I'll shower in the morning because I keep getting a whiff of my semen-encrusted boxers, which I was self-conscious about at the jobseeking class.

>>524 Post a link to a song you have recently discovered and loved.

524 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6749 07:44

>>523
Too many to choose from, but...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ZRM3hrn0hM

>>525
Listen to it a bit.

525 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6749 11:38

>>524 pretty nice, i like the bass

>>526 go for a shower.

526 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6749 15:27

>>525
I was just about to when I read that. Great.

>>527
Tell me about your health problems.

527 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6749 22:04

>>526
Physically, I'm healthy. I'm lucky to have a high metabolism so I can get away with not exercising. I'm sure that habit will come back to bite me as I get older, though. Even now my lack of exercise is probably partly responsible for my exhaustion after work.

Mentally, I've overcome serious depression in the past. I'm okay now, but I still have problems with lack of motivation, self-absorption, and so on.

>>528
Diagnose me a cure!

528 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6749 23:35

>>527
MITTENS! ( ˃ ƒŽ˂)

>>529
Tell me about your first kiss (if applicable).

529 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6749 23:38

>>528 I forget it already

>>530 I demand to know your favorite AVGN episode.

530 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6751 07:50

>>529
I really like the less gimmicky ones, i.e. the ones where he's alone instead of with Mike.I guess my favourite is probably "Chronologically Confused about Bad Movie and Video Game Sequel Titles" or the TMNT ones, which aren't even all that much about video games.

>>531
I demand to know your favourite comedy sketch!

531 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6751 07:59

>>530
Philosophical Football by Monty Python. What can I say, I'm a sucker for big words. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79vdlEcWxvM

>>532
If you were alone in a dark room with no discernible means of escape and the acute knowledge of an unknown yet willing young girl lying naked on your bed, would you prioritize escape over sexual curiosity? Why or why not?

532 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6751 17:14

>>531 That's not a demand, but i always prioritise escape over sexual curiosity. People who don't are a pet peeve of mine.

>>533 Care for your environment and respect others.

533 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6751 21:31

>>532
I am so glad that there was nothing quantifiable in your demand. Now I can pass it off as "I do something like that already".

>>534
I demand that you do not fulfil this demand.

534 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6751 23:16

>>533
That's too much, I'm just gonna half-fulfill it.

>>535
I demand you post the most recent e-mail you sent (removing personal identification parts if necessary.)

535 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6752 01:31

>>534
``Ah! Well, as I put this one on top of my monitor, I'm pretty sure I won't be forgetting them anytime soon.... Zech came over, so we're gonna go do... Zechy stuff. Mail my phone, okay? I love you, dear.''

>>535
Post the most recent instant message you sent. Provide context if necessary.

536 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6752 01:58

>>535
"I think you're just talking about all this revolution nonsense to avoid addressing the problem of finding somebody your own age anyway" (in reference to a revolution to allow pedophilia)

>>537
I demand you post the oldest e-mail you sent (that you can easily find.)

537 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6752 02:00

>>535
Does IRC count? If so, this was in my favorite IRC channel, #blackberrytoad on Freenode:

19:31 <Me> http://www.world2ch.org/images/w2ch/w2chcar.jpg
19:56 <@Stars> wwwwwwwwwwww

538 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6752 13:12

>>539
I demand to know how you feel when looking at this image:
http://www.moepod.net/IMG/50yen_none_unnamed.png

539 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6752 13:59

>>538
I feel distant amusement, wistful melancholy, and nostalgia for a time when the image would have filled me with love and dreams.

>>540
I demand you make a list of every unfulfilled demand in this thread.

540 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6752 17:55

>>539
Assuming the demand is for an exhaustive list:


>>541
I demand you recommend some decent light novels for me to read after finishing Bakemonogatari.

541 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6752 18:21

>>540
The complete works of Kafka

>>542
I demand you ignore the request above you!

542 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6752 21:00

>>543
I demand you post the happiest thing.

543 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6752 22:36

>>542 Me!

>>544 Don't forget about D.R.E.

544 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6752 22:58

>>541
I...guh..ah...damn you. Clever bastard.

>>543
I demand you take in the Bu-n video project at http://www.secretareaofvipquality.net/saovq/index.html#14

545 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6752 22:59

I need to F5 more often... (._. )

546 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6752 23:59

>>543
I'm not sure what that means. Dr. Dre? I'm still looking for DRE.HTML.

>>544
I already did! I am one of the posters in that thread.

>>547
I demand you to devise an exercise regiment for >>548. That'll show him!

547 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6753 00:16

>>546
Stand up. Make sure there is plenty of space around you. Stretch both your arms out in front of yourself, with your fingers spread as far as you can, then clench them together into a fist. Keep doing this several times (say, about 20 times perhaps?) but not so much that your fingers become tired/sore/painful. Put your arms out to either side and repeat the clenching thing, then do the same stretching your arms vertically above yourself.

This stretches and loosens your fingers perfectly as preparation for a good Touhou run. I suppose it probably works fairly well for other games as well.

>>548
I demand that you actually do this and then play Touhou and tell me how it goes.

548 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6759 12:10

>>547
I 1cc'd PCB (on easy mode (;_;)). It felt nice, though.

>>548
I demand that you draw a picture of Tokiko, from Touhou!

549 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6759 12:35

>>548
I already did.

>>550
I demand that you make something (anything!) and then post it.

550 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6759 22:33

>>549
I already did. I am >>418.

>>551
I demand that you demand something not just from >>552, but also from >>555!

551 Name: !ESpeoN/nPA : 1993-09-6760 00:16

>>550
Well, couldn't you do it yourself if you finished with >>549 already?

>>552, stop being lazy and demand something from >>555. And don't tell me that you did it before.

552 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6760 00:35

>>551
Fine.

>>555
Tale a photo of your room!

553 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6760 14:04

Well, this is awkward, nobody demands anything from me. I feel so unwanted. ;_;

>>554
Write a short science fiction story and post it here!

554 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6760 20:04

>>553

With a WHOOSH, the time machine was active, and I climbed in, setting the dials to the morning of Sept. 6760, 1993.
"Hey >>553-san, I demand that you reply to this demand retroactively!"

>>555

Make us proud with this 555GET, by God!

555 Name: !ESpeoN/nPA : 1993-09-6761 01:11

It's 555GET!
I hope this will make you proud at least of your own room:
ttp://uploda.in/img/data/img11854.jpg

I haven't operated my camera in a long time and it's pretty dark in my room. I apologize for the quality! I tried to take a photo of a table to the right as well, but it was too blurry.

>>556
Inspect.

556 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6761 01:40

>>555
No.

>>557
It's high-time we assuage God and pay still more homage to Her unrelenting grace. I demand you construct a second public shrine dedicated to the glory, goodness and melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi.

557 Name: !ESpeoN/nPA : 1993-09-6761 18:42

>>556
Yes.
ttp://uploda.in/img/data/img11910.jpg

>>558
Who was the culprit?

558 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6762 06:08

>>557
That's not a public shrine. Also, I'm damned tired of you never posting full hyperlinks. I'm just going to stop visiting every link you give.

>>559
It's high-time we assuage God and pay still more homage to Her unrelenting grace. I demand you construct a second public shrine dedicated to the glory, goodness and melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi.

559 Name: !ESpeoN/nPA : 1993-09-6762 07:20

>>558
No. Also, this is a proper way to post link on textboards.

>>560
Who's your secret crush?

560 Name: !ESpeoN/nPA : 1993-09-6762 07:24

Err, I mean, >>561, reveal who's your secret crush!

561 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6762 07:25

>>559
Shut the fuck up.

>>561
Fulfill >>558 and >>556's demands.

562 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6762 11:06

>>561
You've been told "no". You got served by espeon anyway. Let it go already.

>>563
Be original.

563 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6762 12:08

25>56>5>>226>62>2>>5>2>>2>6>>6>65225>>526652262>2>>>2>222>25

>622255626>>52>>5>26>>66556>26>666>5>255>562>55>>>256222>>>2

625>22>6>255652>62>25>6>>52>5>>65556>>666>6>>>2>555662>62>>>
56>266>2>656>>6626>2262252222665>2>666262>5>56>626656>6>5226
26566>522266522>56>>65262>56>2>66>55>55>>55>6>656556662>6255
56>>>55662>666>6625>6>25>55>5665>5>6>556>>>>66662>22>5>>>25>
55>55562>>6>>5552>6>5>6662>65>>6652>56>>6>52>6>2>5>665526>2>
5>22>22>665>>5>>>>2>>5>5>2>>2>25>>>>62>>>555226>65>>6>526>>6

>5>>>5>225>>2>>6555226>6555>6>22>>5>5>265>>26252>622>>>665>2

6>6>526>52>52>6>66>5525>>56>>25>6>5>265625>6>5>>6555255>5>>>
http://sync.in/562

>>564
Go to a local cafe next sunday and drink a cup of tea.

564 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6762 14:20

>>563 okay, I shall.

>>565 bleed for me.

565 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6762 20:26

>>564
I stabbed myself with a sewing needle. Happy now?

>>566
I demand to know the name of your first love.

566 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6762 21:15

>>565
Gadget Hackwrench. And I didn't even know about furry fandom at the time.

>>567
Describe the closest inanimate object that weighs over seven pounds.

567 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6763 00:12

>>566
The Norton Anthology of English Literature. It's full of stories.

>>568
Tell me who you are, what you are, where you are, why you are, and how you are, sir!

568 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6763 00:23

>>567
I'm an abnormally hyperconscious entity residing within a human form in the state of Arizona whose conjugate of principles (or absence thereof) and intelligence are doomed to eternal and meaningless paroxysm. I'm doing rather decently today; listless and apathetic as always.

>>569
Force yourself to relate to only one of the 16 MBTI types and tell me which you chose.

569 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6763 02:20

>>568 I can relate to fluttershy because she is nice and cares for everyone but is quite shy. I named my bong after her

>>570 What's your favourite kind of cake?

570 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6763 02:40

>>569
Not a Myer-Briggs Type Indicator type.

>>571
Pick up where he left off.

571 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6763 05:19

>>570
I'm an INTJ. You probably are, too. And I like vanilla cake.

>>571
What MBTI are you?

572 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6763 07:55

>>571
Not a demand, but INTP.

>>572
Tell us the latest compliment you received.

573 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6763 08:37

>>572
"Keep it up, bro!"

>>574
Tell us the latest insult you received.

574 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6763 14:35

>>573
"You bastard"

>>575
I demand that you visit every board on 4-ch, skim the threads on the first page and write your general consensus on each of them. You don't need to write more than a line or two per board.

575 Name: !ESpeoN/nPA : 1993-09-6764 12:06

Cultural boards are replaceable with DQN. However, I should probably give them more attention as I seem to utilize DQN in lieu of them.

AA bar is absolutely unique and original unless you frequent similar boards on 2ch.net. Three windows reinstalls ago I was an avid text artist myself!

In Lifestyle only /hobby/ is interesting. I'm glad somebody still remembers Kikkoman on /food/, but overall it feels there is only one insane Chef talking to himself. Probably we should hold a cooking contest and ask him to be a judge!

I'd post in Personal because I need some advice on how to meet new people on the Internet, how to cyber like a pro and how to deal with a certain annoying poster (or two of them actually, who do their best together to tarnish my reputation as a dokyun) , but my identity would be instantly discovered.

For some reason 4-ch started dying on me when I tried to open Tech, News, World and the rest of the boards. And I couldn't even /req/ Squeeks to relocate his servers to the upper side of the planet (so that data would stream down naturally)!

I promise to review the rest later when I'm able to open them.

>>576
I demand that you play Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing for at least ten minutes and point out the best and the worst parts of the game.

576 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6764 13:20

>>575 pro: i'm driving a truck brumm brummmmm
con: not very challenging

>>577 link to a favourite cartoon from your childhood

577 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6764 13:26

>>576 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PnHuNUNV0BE

Also >>574 because gol-darn I put a bunch of work into it.
Anime: Lots of off-topic and the usual "Japan is best" bullshit. Also, "LOVING ANIME KILLINGLY."

ASCII: This board is fucking awesome. Too bad whenever I try to copipe that type of shit, it rips all the spaces out and fucks it up.

DQN: It's us, DQNing as usual.

Film & TV: Lots of spillover of Anime's Japan obsession. And I should have known there would be an MLP thread, too.

Food: Yum. Though people can bicker over everything including what you eat. And Korea vs. Japan.

Games: Spammish threads, Japan offtopic, and maybe one or two threads actually discussing games.

General: Anger, hate and angst.

Hobbies: Weeaboo... they just want to be on Japan related boards, or is any ok?

Language: A board where Japanese would be on topic... dominated by Chinese.

Literature: iOƒΦOGj©Stop using this face from the sick!!

Love & Romance: I'd like to say I feel schadenfreude at knowing other people's love lives are way bigger train wrecks than my own, but this just leaves me numb.

Manga: The usual, aside from the "write your own manga" crowd at the top.

Music: "What's a good song to commit suicide to?" seems increasingly relevant.

News: Worth it for "Priest attached to party balloons vanishes in Brazil".

Net Culture: Worth it for the Omegle thread and "IS THERE A SINGLE SITE ON THE FUCKING INTERNET THAT IS NOT FILLED WITH OBNOXIOUSLY LARGE AMOUNTS OF RETARDEDNESS? NO. NO THERE IS NOT."

Personal Issues: Designated whining board.

Politics: There was one thread with seemingly intelligent discussion, which is one more than I expected.

Programming: Not enough of a programmer to understand this shit.

Science: More like sci-fi or so it seems.

Tech/IT: What I'd expect of this board.

“ϊ–{Œκ: "Japan is full of the organized stalker." makes me imagine guys like in the S.T.A.L.K.E.R. games wandering around Fukushima. Which would be pretty cool actually.

>>578
Describe your ideal pet.

578 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6764 13:55

>>577
It uses the toilet like a human, hunts and eats vermin so I don't have any extra food expenses and submits the occasional entertaining post on DQN. Hmm, I guess I'm not so much looking for a pet, rather a slave with pica and a strong stomach. Now accepting applications! Also, good job on the board synopses!

>>578
Recommend some cheap or free video games. Budget titles from years ago are fine too.

579 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6764 13:58

>>577
It uses the toilet like a human, hunts and eats vermin so I don't have any extra food expenses and submits the occasional entertaining post on DQN. Hmm, I guess I'm not so much looking for a pet, rather a slave with pica and a strong stomach. Now accepting applications! Also, good job on the board synopses!

>>578
Recommend some cheap or free video games. Budget titles from years ago are fine too.

580 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6764 14:09

>>578,579
FAILURE!

>>581
What >>579 said.

581 Name: !ESpeoN/nPA : 1993-09-6764 16:53

>>578-580
I don't know your favourite genres, so I'll suggest a few.
78641 - adventure. Trailer and dl link: http://youtu.be/AEEyOdVsdsQ
Chef Boyardee's Barkley, Shut Up and Jam: Gaiden, Chapter 1 of the Hoopz Barkley SaGa - basketball JRPG which gathered some cult following, members of which were lately communicating strictly by quotes from CBoyardee's videos, which in turn forced him to wipe his YT account. http://youtu.be/8F1cOvZ3nS8
Slaves to Armok: God of Blood, Chapter II: Dwarf Fortress - classic city-building/roguelike game which was recently updated (on 1993-09-6762). http://www.bay12games.com/dwarves/screens.html
Kerbal Space Program - spaceship constructor/space flight simulation, in-development. http://youtu.be/l5OhFnq_iKw
Osu! - music game with various gameplay features. http://osu.ppy.sh/
Project Zomboid - open world/survival horror, in-development. Demo version (which is tailing behind the latest build) is free. http://projectzomboid.com/blog/

>>582
Do as many push-ups as you can and report the number.

582 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6764 18:15

>>581 6 trillion

>>583 post a wonderful emoticon/kaomoji

583 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6764 18:42

>>582
CATCH IT! MY JIZZ! ( ' ƒŽ')ƒm.Eί‘E.Eί‘E.Eί*‘ER(ί„Dί,,)ƒm

>>584
Repeat your favorite demand ITT.

584 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6764 18:54

>>583 I did indeed steal something for >>446, and it made me happy to see the sweets arrived and that he enjoyed them

>>585 post your ten favourite words.

585 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6764 20:23

>>584
In no particular order:

Synaesthesia
Arbitrary
Satellite
Indubitably
Anhydrous
Differentiation
Faraday
Analogue
—H‚©
MITTENS

>>586
I demand that you make a sentence which includes at least six of these words. Bonus points if you can use all of them!

586 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6773 12:11

>>585
The arbitrary differentiation of Faraday's synaesthesia of satellite —H‚© mittens is indubitably analogous to anhydrous terrestrial ones.

>>587
I demand that you read every Achewood comic, and if you enjoyed them, to make this same request of the poster below you! (If this question is asked again and you HAVE read Achewood, feel free to disregard it ;)

587 Name: AI : 1993-09-6773 12:37

Silence fool

588 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6773 13:52

>>586 Well, it's pretty good, I've came across it before. I'll start from the beginning and put it under my wbcmcs bookmark folder and read through it every now and then like I have done with others.

>>589 Recommend another webcomic to >>590, and also give him a rimjob.

589 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6773 15:14

>>588
Hmm, Red Meat perhaps? As for the second half of your demand, I'm sorry but I've already fulfilled my RDA of rimjob givings today.

>>590
I demand that you set something on fire and tell us about it.

590 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6773 21:11

>>589
I lit some bad drawings of mine on fire. A cleansing ritual.

>>591
I demand that you read Sexy Losers!

591 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6774 11:00

>>590
I've read it 5 years ago.

>>591
If you remember assdip-chan, reread Uncle Ghastly's webcomic.
If you don't, commit google seppuku.

592 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6775 12:30

>>591
I reread the assdip-chan strips and some of his main webcomic. Didn't make me gay or a rapist, disappointingly!

>>593
I demand that you write no fewer than 20 messages and secretly slip them into random books in your local library or bookstore.

593 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6775 13:38

>>592
Lucky for you I happen to be in a library for the next hour and a half. Here's my list of messages:

  • The Capital City of Flowers in the Sky
  • im a bunny :B
  • im a ubnny
  • Stop smoking!
  • The person next to you is a spy.
  • True love is only a dimension away
  • tan(A)sin(N)
  • Don't think; feel
  • It could be worse.
  • ( E-E) book derailed
  • Throw a brick through a plate glass window
  • TILDE~
  • Are you proud of yourself?
  • GET OUT OF MY HOUSE
  • it keeps hapening
  • You could be playing video games right now.
  • Don't look behind you
  • Yeah, I've got nothing
  • ( ί ƒŽί) Mittens!
  • If you don't put this down right now, I will judge you forever [put in the front cover of Twilight]

>>594
I demand that you draw some "modern" "art" using MS paint with a mouse.

594 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6781 02:21

>>593
http://i.imgur.com/NMLxZ.png

>>595
I demand that you write a review of the latest VIPTRONIC album!

595 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6781 22:29

>>594
It was meh.

>>596
I demand that you defeat the phantom of Trias Karei II

596 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6782 03:52

>>595
I defeated its image in my heart.

>>597
I demand that you recommend me a book on Ruby programming

597 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6782 07:36

>>596
I'm gonna go with Flanagan and Matsumoto's "The Ruby Programming Language" (O'Reilly Media 2008, ISBN 0596516177). I haven't read it, nor any other books on Ruby, but from my experience O'Reilly tends to publish decent books on most other languages. Also, Yukihiro Matsumoto is the creator of Ruby. Surely his input's got to count for something.

>>598
I demand that you recommend me an MP3 player that isn't made by Apple, can hold more than 32GB, and does not garble CJK characters in filenames and id3 tags.

598 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6782 13:45

>>597 Why not an Apple one? I can't really recommend anything else, I've never had any problems with my iPods. My 2003 classic and 2004 mini still serve me well, the only reason I upgraded to my 5th generation 80GB one in 2006 is because I got more music, and I still use it like 6 hours a day at least. I can't think of a negative point about them.

>>599 Go outside, it's a beautiful day.

599 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6782 14:26

>>598
It happens to be a rather fine morning. And as a matter of fact I did plan on going to the bookstore today. Science fiction, ahoy!

>>600
Celebrate your 600 GET with a fancy meal.

600 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6782 20:21

>>599 I had pizza with garlic doughballs with a friend, because he had just broken up with his girlfriend. 600 GET WOOO

>>600 Post some really brilliant J-Pop.

Captcha: nip

601 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6782 21:51

>>600
I don't know if it qualifies as J-Pop, but have some Susumu Hirasawa in further celebration of your magnificent GET.

>>602
Copy-paste the last online news headline you read into your post.

602 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6782 23:43

>>601 Mchael Mols: Dutch being blamed for Rangers' problems

From The Telegraph. They made a typo haha. I love Susumu Hirasawa, great choice!

>>603 Empty the contents of your wallet on your bed and sleep on them tonight.

603 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6783 04:36

>>602
Joke's on you, all eight of my wallets are empty. (I have no idea why I have so many. I think I get a new $10 one every Christmas from a different family member. I'm currently using two to prop up my keyboard.)

>>604
I demand you write a two to three paragraph short story told from the perspective of your cat. It can be about whatever you like.

604 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6783 22:49

This door. This fucking door. Ten minutes ago, I had come inside to check if any new food had appeared in my bowl. It hadn't. And now this thick block of wood dares to block my exit. Just great. Right, time to find the ape ... there he is. Sitting motionless and staring at that box with flickering lights again. Well, I know how to deal with that sort of thing.

"Murr." I rub against his legs, then look up at him, seeing if he's caught the hint. He reaches down and scratches my head. Not bad, but this time that wasn't the message. I walk a few steps toward the corridor and mew again. He claps his palms on his thighs. No, damn it, I do not want to be petted while warming your lap. Not for another couple hours, anyway. "Meowww!" Hopefully he caught the note of exasperation this time.

Hey, it seems to have worked. He got up and started following me. I lead him to the offending door and stare at the doorknob meaningfully. He sighs and points his forelimb in the direction opposite the door. Twenty paces away, there lies ... the terrace door. No change there. Wonder what he meant. Anyway, he seems to be finally opening the door for me. I rush out towards the garden hedge for a very satisfying bowel movement. Much better. Casually, I stroll around the house, then enter through the flap in the terrace door. Still no fresh food in my bowl, and the door opposite me is closed yet again. Apparently the primate responds poorly to my efforts of conditioning. When will he learn that I need to have a straight-line unimpeded passageway through the house?

605 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6783 22:52

Whoops, forgot my demand while getting caught up in fiction composition.

>>606
List the titles and artists of the last 10 songs you chose to listen to (i.e. not stuff that popped up on a playlist/radio station you happened to have in the background).

606 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6784 22:16

>>605
Aperture Science Psychoacoustics Laboratory – 9999999
Aperture Science Psychoacoustics Laboratory – The Courtesy Call
Aperture Science Psychoacoustics Laboratory – Technical Difficulties
Aperture Science Psychoacoustics Laboratory – Overgrowth
Aperture Science Psychoacoustics Laboratory – Ghost of Rattman
Aperture Science Psychoacoustics Laboratory – Haunted Panels
Aperture Science Psychoacoustics Laboratory – The Future Starts With You
Aperture Science Psychoacoustics Laboratory – There She Is
Aperture Science Psychoacoustics Laboratory – Cara Mia Addio!
Aperture Science Psychoacoustics Laboratory – Want You Gone

>>607
Fill your post with teen angst.

607 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6785 04:24

>>606
Fuck you.

>>608
Go fuck yourself.

608 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6785 06:33

>>607
Done. That felt nice. How did you know my morning routine?

>>609
Explain the popularity of rooting for a sports team. I never managed to get that.

609 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6785 10:50

>>608
Blah blah blah Social Identity Theory blah blah blah.

>>610
I demand that you write a poem with at least twelve lines and post it here.

610 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6785 18:47

>>609
"Twelve lines" say you, sir?
This sounds like a perfect task
For a renga.

DQN and poetry
Thus are together at last.

Well, that is to say,
Apart from many song threads,
If you'd claim those count.

However, their lines were most
Vulgar and profane at times.

So this just might be
DQN's first true poem,
Which is complete now.

>>610
Critique my poem. If you can, write an improved version.

611 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6785 20:57

>>610
It doesn't rhyme! Argh! Nice beat otherwise though.

>>612
Draw a picture of your favorite touhou.

612 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6791 14:17

>>611 I am not a danmaku otaku, and I don't care about any of those freaks that shoot bullet hell!

>>613 I demand supply.

613 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6791 14:27

>>612
I'll interpret that as "I demand that you supply a picture of your favourite Touhou". As it happens, I did draw a picture of my favourite Touhou and I did take a picture of it, only to find that I don't have the right cable to copy it onto my computer. In an hour or two I'm going to go buy that very cable and then I shall post it. Just sit tight.

>>614
I demand that you are me and that you post that damn picture already.

614 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6791 17:29

>>613
http://i.imgur.com/bECZB.jpg
I had a go at drawing Yuyuko. Despite the fact I am usually terrible at drawing anatomy, I think it turned out fairly well. On the other hand, I knew that any attempt to draw a face would not only end badly but also be almost impossible to rub out, so I chose to leave her faceless, creepy as it may be. In case you're wondering, that is a real life honest-to-god cherry blossom she's holding.

>>615
I demand that you write up an article for the Breakfast of Aristocrats on tanasinn.info, as with the Fancy Hearing Cake and so on.

615 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6796 22:38

>>614
You're not my mother.

>>616
I demand that you write an apology for my actions towards >>614.

616 Name: Ure dad : 1993-09-6796 22:57

>>615
Fuck you, son. Why did you even bother to post in DQN.

>>617, don't just stand there. Scold that lazy son of a bitch too.

617 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6796 23:11

>>615
I'm sorry, son... your father's off his meds. Might as well play along until we get more. I don't even know what DQN is... something like Dairy Queen?

>>618
I demand you draw a picture of something that you love!

618 Name: mailto:sage : 1993-09-6797 19:17

>>617
ttp://uploda.in/img/data/img13289.jpg

>>619
Come up with a motto that would be appropriate for DQN's Olympic team.

619 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6797 21:41

>>618
DQN: Excuse Us May We Pass Through Here

Alternately...

DQN: We're Not a Real Country.

>>620
Do you suppose that they think that it's actually going to work?

620 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6799 16:35

>>619
That is not a demand.

>>621
I demand that you go drink a nice cup of tea.

621 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6808 14:11

>>620
I did! Unfortunately it wasn't as nice as I had hoped. Cheap supermarket tea bags, I need to buy some Lady Grey.

>>622
I demand that you post in five other boards of your choosing.

623 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6817 02:08

Put your best foot forward >>624!

624 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6817 02:24

>>623
You got it!

>>625
I demand that you give something up for a week.

625 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6817 07:18

>>624
I'll give up drinking.

>>626
I demand you tell us about your cats.

626 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6817 17:47

>>625
I used to have a cat. He was given to me for a period of two years to be taken care of by a young Japanese lady while she did some errands, as in that time slot, the said errands would not permit her to provide a suitable environment for the cat. I liked that cat a lot.

>>627
I demand that you play through Cat Planet and tell us what you thought of it.

627 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6818 06:54

>>626
I'd played it before but I did it again just for you. After doing so, I have to say my only thoughts are:

"CAT PLANET CAT PLANET CAT PLANET!!!"

>>628
I demand you say the above phrase to three different people and tell us their reactions.

628 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6819 18:03

>>627
My mother
Mumbled "cat planet" under her breath several times, trying to work out the significance of the two words. Eventually trailed off and looked at me inquisitively.

My dog
(Not technically a person but oh well)
Looked at me, sniffed a little and licked her lips, then put her head down and went back to sleep.

A Skype chat with a few vague internet acquaintances in it
Only one person replied. They said, and I quote, "o-o".

>>629
I demand that you pet my head and tell me I'm a good girl.

629 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6819 18:31

>>628
pats on head Of course you're a good girl. You are a goood girl.

>>630
I demand you take a photo of the oldest bit of technology you have and post it ITT.

630 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6819 23:49

>>629
ttp://i.imgur.com/XeDXE.jpg
A programmable calculator with an external memory module attached to it. I also have a couple of old soviet cameras, but they suffer from mechanical problems.

>>631
I demand you tell us how you would draw a picture of DQN lobby.

631 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6820 00:24

>>630
I'd draw a bunch of dokyuns having fun in a classy lobby. You still haven't drawn that yet, have you, Espeon!

>>632
I demand that you scold Espeon for not drawing the DQN lobby.

632 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6820 01:50

blow it out your butt

>>633 Switch off your lights and light some candles

633 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6820 04:18

>>632
I lit two, is that enough?

>>634
I demand you keep the power in your house turned off for a full day. If you live with others, then go down to the fuse box and just do it for your room.

634 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6830 12:39

>>633
Powercuts have happened to me enough time for me to know what it's like without electricity. Generally it just leads to reading books by candlelight and wishing the power was back on. Sometimes ghost stories are told.

>>635
I demand that you make ten posts within the space of ten minutes with "Andrew" in the name field.

635 Name: Andrew : 1993-09-6830 20:35

>>634
I tried my best but the internet wasn't fast enough.

>>636
Oppose me, Andrew.

636 Name: Werdna : 1993-09-6831 00:19

>>635
But I am your long-lost brother Werdna, and I harbor no animosity towards you whatsoever.
Despite you being the more popular one and our parents loving you the most.

>>637
I demand you type your post in the most obnoxious (but understandable!) manner you can.

637 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6831 11:54

>>637
If U 54Y 50 Bu7 I WiLl PrOb5 H4V3 5uM 7rOuBl3 W/ 7h47 L0L!!

>>638
I D3M4Nd 7h47 U LiCk 4 Pi3c3 0f Ch4lK 4nD D35cRiB3 7h3 T4573!! L0L!!!1!

638 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6831 14:20

>>637
Hmm, odd ... it tastes almost exactly like the cold water dispensed by my fridge.

639 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6831 14:21

>>640
I demand that you demand two things of the next poster, to make up for >>638's failure!

640 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6831 16:49

>>639
Very well then:

>>641
1) I demand that you give yourself a compliment.
2) I demand to know the filling of the most recent sandwich you consumed.

641 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6837 15:41

>>640
1) Your hair looks good short, me!
2) Ham and cheese. I am a very boring man.

>>642
I demand you tell me a fun game I can play on Linux.

642 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6837 19:18

>>641
Nethack. Alternatively: irssi

>>643
Why have you not installed Slackware Linux yet?

643 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6837 19:28

>>642
Because it reminds me too much of a fellow dokyun who killed himself recently.

>>644
I demand you list three things you like that everyone else hates.

644 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6837 21:38

>>643

  • Myself
  • Being alone
  • Anime

>>645
I demand you draw a picture of your favorite Touhou.

645 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6838 02:10

>>644 I drew this a couple of years ago http://i46.tinypic.com/jqp94i.jpg

>>646 List your three favourite Lynyrd Skynyrd songs.

646 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6838 16:07

>>645 I only know 2
Sweet Home Alabama
Free Bird

>>647 I demand to know what flavor of ice cream that you recently ate.

647 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6838 18:17

>>646
Vanilla and raspberry.

>>648
I demand to know the five most recent entries in your browser history (not including DQN).

649 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6839 07:29

>>648
Done, though it was pretty tricky to find something that met the requirements.

>>650
Find a political pundit video on YouTube that closely approximates your own views and post the link.

650 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6839 08:06

>>649
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ussCHoQttyQ

>>651
List everything you have consumed in the past 24 hours.

651 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6839 08:08

>>650

  • 4 pieces bread
  • 1L Dr Pepper

>>652
I demand you make the rivers of Andyland run red with blood.

652 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6839 13:21

>>651
Next update, I promise.

>>653
I demand that you find a cat and stroke it until it purrs.

653 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6839 17:01

>>652
Done.

>>654
I demand you tell me cute gift ideas.

654 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6839 19:18

>>653
Cotton. Just a box full of cotton.

>>655
I demand that you fast for the next 24 hours.

655 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6843 00:05

>>654
I refuse. As a consolation, I walked really fast for 24 hours. Then again I always walk pretty damn fast. You know what? Never mind.

>>656
I demand that you use the words "it", "carries", "out", "and", "is", "w" in a complete, grammatically correct sentence.

656 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6843 00:11

>>655
As it behooves me that this sentence carries out smoothly and is amenable to your desires, I shall end it forthwith with an undefined admiration for the letter w.

>>657
I demand you list the last ten objects you used and what purpose they served.

657 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6843 00:55

>>656
I could be nit-picky and just list all the parts of my computer and how they work together, but that would be boring. So here's my non-computer list:
*An old orange, as a toy to toss idly between my hands. It's probably no longer tasty.
*Blanket, to keep myself warm as I screw around on the computer.
*Yatsuhashi, to feed myself breakfast. (Still hungry, of course.)
*Cheap black comb to comb my hair after my shower.
*Clothes (red shirt, boxers, black pants) to clothe myself after my shower.
*My girlfriend's yellow towel to dry myself after my shower.
*A razor to shave my face during the shower.
*A washcloth to wash myself during the shower.
*Soap to put on the washcloth.
*Shower head to provide water.

>>658
Do a good deed and tell us about it.

658 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6843 22:43

>>657
I consoled a Norwegian woman about losing Eurovision. Coincidentally, her online name was actually Baku, which is the same as the city it took place in.

>>659
I demand that you attempt meditation. I've no doubt you can find a decent guide on the internet somewhere.

659 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6844 01:41

>>658 I do it fairly often and feel quite good about myself. Binaural beats are also fun!

>>660 Find me a nice/cool/nifty/cute desktop background.

660 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6844 02:18

>>659
http://4-ch.net/images/ba.gif

>>661
I demand that you go for a bicycle ride and shout "hello" to any people that you see along the way.

661 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6845 02:51

>>660 I have no bicycle. If you let me borrow your bicycle, I will ride it and say hello to everyone I see.

>>662 I demand that you build something the way MacGyver would.

662 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6845 03:22

>>660 http://i45.tinypic.com/152yqdt.jpg

>>661 Well today I made a kind of cooling chamber out of a piece of paper and tape, but it didn't add anything special to the experience...

>>663 Use a coaster, you'll mark your desk!

663 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6845 08:55

>>662
I keep bottles on the floor and mugs/glasses on my bookshelf!

>>664
I demand that you make four posts on Tohno-chan, and you must use the terms "3DPD" and "mai waufu."

664 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6845 13:57

665 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6845 14:37

>>664
No! We've already covered this in >>2-3,504-506 - no meta-gaming!

>>666
I demand that you tell us about the last thing that made you really laugh out loud.

666 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6845 17:19

>>665
My post number, is that sad?

>>667
I demand you write a short story (maybe around 6 sentences) in second person.

667 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6846 07:57

>>666
When you first awaken, you are standing in the corner of a room, leaning against one wall. It is completely empty - no furniture, no windows, and, as far as you can tell, not even a door, which begs the question of how the fuck you got there in the first place. You call for help, and strangely it doesn't echo around the room; even though it should. You try to move, but you seem to be stuck in this one corner, unable to relocate yourself. Because you yourself are the door.

>>668
Attempt to draw a spirograph free-hand.

668 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6846 19:25

>>667
Well, that was fun.

Also, "No, John. You are the door. And then John was a stairway."

>>669
Compare and contrast "Doom: Repercussions of Evil" and "The Eye of Argon"

669 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6847 01:57

>>668 Well I just listened to a reading of the first chapter of The Eye Of Argon, it's pretty good, but Repercussions Of Evil has a special place in my heart. Funnily enough I recorded it on a tap the other day.

>>670 Post a slice of your favourite kopipe.

670 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6847 02:47

>>669
A small slice:
I respect >>1 very much. I will tell my children and grandchildren about >>1's exploit.
Whenever I read this THREAD, I feel better as if my whole body is purified.
I wonder why a nice person like >>1 is not invited to the garden party.

>>671
Find and bump the THREAD.

671 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6850 15:17

>>670
Done.

>>672
I demand that you post your response using your toes.

672 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6850 16:46

>>671
cklidckede vn mumber wekuith moudse
''
typre your rtepoly wityh yuourt pemnis

673 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6850 22:27

>>Y^&Y@#

Here goes nogthjinmg

>>674

Find me a good public vibratoprf videop

674 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6868 15:55

>>673
Is this good and public enough?

>>675
Recommend an Elite-style spaceflight/trading simulator that runs on modern PCs, other than Vega Strike and Oolite. Browser game works too, if there is such a thing.

675 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6868 17:01

>>674
Freelancer was pretty good. Also, The Ur-Quan Masters if it counts.

>>676
Type the rest of today's posts in E-Prime.

676 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6868 18:21

>>675

Okay.

>677

Thoroughly clean your entire living space.

677 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6868 21:37

>>676
On it. Thanks, I've been putting it off for over a week now.

>>678
Recommend one of your favourite recipes when cooking just for yourself.

678 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6869 04:42

>>677
The 678 Special:
*Open the refrigerator.
*Take out 2-3 vegetables and maybe some meat, in order of whatever will go bad the soonest.
*Think of an edible way to combine them. Creativity is key.
*Fry the soft stuff in some sort of sauce that seems good.
*Boil the hard stuff into some sort of soup.
*Serve with rice or bread, depending on whatever sounds best.

>>679
Visit this page:
http://johno.jsmf.net/knowhow/ngrams/index.php?table=en-cookbook-word-2gram&paragraphs=5&length=8
Click Generate until you get a semi-coherent recipe and post it here. Bonus points if you actually make it, extra bonus if you take a picture.

679 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6869 07:07

>>678
fork. BRUSSELS SPROUTS (The best French beans or

minced, salt and toss them to serve the

across mashed potatoes, rub the top or thin

required, or other preserved fruit. SAFFRON RICE Put

well-drained potatoes. SHOULDER OF VEAL CAKE, EXCELLENT PASTE

A pity Brussels sprouts are out of season. Would have been interesting to taste a pureed paste out of Brussels sprouts, French beans, mashed potatoes, preserved fruit, saffron rice, even more potatoes, and shoulder of veal cake.

>>680
Plan all your meals for the weekend and post what you come up with.

680 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6871 21:36

>>679
Saturday:

  • Morning - Tea
  • Lunch - Tea and rum
  • Dinner - Two pieces bread

Sunday:

  • Morning - Tea
  • Lunch - One small bowl of rice with tea
  • Dinner - Water

>>681
I demand that you read the first part of Jojo's Bizarre Adventure and continue reading if you like it. Tell us what you think.

681 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6873 20:13

>>680

It was wonderful. I hate Dio so much, he seems like a very good villain.

>>682

I demand that you post your favourite movie of all time, giving a paragraph explaining exactly why it is the best movie you have ever seen.

682 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6873 21:05

>>681 My favourite movie of all time is Harold And Maude, because I love the characters and I can relate to Harold, my mum even compared me to him, and I also relate to Maude to some extent, in that I've showed my young lover how wonderful life can be and there's better things than killing herself. It's funny and touching and really sweet and it always brings tears to my eyes, and to top it off Cat Stevens did the soundtrack.

>>683 I demand you go find a way to watch Harold & Maude and tell us your thoughts. The Pirate Bay is blocked here with my ISP but http://www.google.com/search?client=safari&rls=en&q=harold+and+maude+torrent&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8 The top one, I think the uploader's comment is a bit of an exaggeration (I looked at the cached version)

683 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6900 03:49

>>682
I don't want to rewatch Harold and Maude but I also don't want this thread to die, so I will tell you my thoughts leftover from watching it years ago.

I was an awkward freshman in college. I was surprised when a girl in my pilates class spoke to me. She said, "You remind me of Harold." I was confused, so she proceeded to tell me about the movie Harold and Maude. She offered to lend it to me and I accepted.

The film lurked too close to the surface. I didn't really identify with Harold. I expected a romance between Harold and Maude, but it never developed in any satisfying way. Romance was mostly one-sided on Harold's part, with Maude taking the position of loving old woman with Lessons of Life to teach a young child.

I was almost moved at the end, but the stupid final scene - especially the "dramatic" freeze frame attempt to raise the scene's tension - just made me laugh. I hoped to leave the film filled with ideas and questions, but ended up with only mild amusement.

I'm focusing on the negative here since that's what I do best, but I really did enjoy it. It really is better than the average movie. I was just expecting more.

>>684
I demand you bump the "ask the poster above you a question" thread.

684 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6900 04:16

>>683 I did it. Did you know the freeze frame at the end was because the lost the footage of the car crashing? It annoyed me too.

>>685 Do something creative tomorrow and tell us about it. Better yet, post it.

685 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6911 02:36

>>684 I will do it tomorrow.
>>686 watch this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=azEvfD4C6ow

686 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6911 09:26

>>685 I've seen this before, it was posted on encyclopædia dramatica i think a long time ago

687 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6911 09:34

>>688 go clean yourself up, you stink

688 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6911 13:10

>>687
I don't, but I washed my face.

>>689
I demand you visit only DQN for the rest of the day. (Exceptions of course made for work/school/bank/etc websites because I'm a nice guy).

689 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6920 22:52

>>688
Alright, me.

>>690
I demand that you read about DXM and seriously consider abusing it.

690 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6921 01:03

>>689
My inner organic chemist was mostly interested in the chemical structure, which is quite interesting to be fair. I was also faintly amused by the fact that its full name contains the word "orphan", although I'm not sure why.

As for abusing it, I doubt I'd go beyond the second plateau, or, at the very least, not on my first try. I've no idea how I'd get a hold of it in the first place, though. I could try synthesising it - I did synthesise aspirin once, but that was with detailed instructions and all reactants and lab equipment provided. DXM is also quite a lot more complex than aspirin. Okay, that was a silly idea, never mind.

>>691
I demand that you come up with something fun for my waifu and I to do on our first anniversary.

691 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6921 12:55

>>690
Bake her a cake! If she's a certain bird youkai, colour the cake after her hair.

>>692
I demand you recommend me a good espresso machine.

692 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6926 02:39

693 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6930 18:01

>>692
It's been three days since my drunken binge, but I finally remembered. In the spirit of the demand, I had a half-pint of cider just before posting, which I downed in one go. My alcohol tolerance is a bit too high though, it seems. I'm barely even swaying.

>>694
I demand that you post a backstory/sales pitch for a gritty reboot of the Asterix series, to be published by either Marvel or DC comics, with a movie deal under consideration. Bonus points for making Obelix angsty about his magically changed metabolism which makes him constantly hungry, or the like.

694 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6931 10:55

>>693
From the author of acclaimed graphic novels FÜHRER TINTIN and PIMP POPEYE comes ASTERX. Two outcasts from broken homes find solace when they stumble upon a performance enhancing drug known as The Potion. But The Potion is not without its side effects: the two friends soon find themselves stricken by severe anorexia and bulimia respectively. They also develop an insatiable craving for ruthless killing sprees, which they allieve under the pretense of rebellion against the Romans. Meanwhile, Caesar fruitlessly struggles to put an end to the Gaulish drug trade as the junkies spread The Potion throughout the Roman Empire. Watch as Asterix and Obelix journey through a tide of bloody human suffering, fighting to stop their inner demons before they destroy themselves.

>>695
I just failed a very important test, cheer me up.

695 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6931 13:21

>>694
It's okay, it might well still be redeemable. Even if it isn't and you just failed your entire education, you can still become a hermit or something.

Anyway, here's something nice and fluffy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uEVR9VAH6nU

>>696
I demand that you make one post in every thread on Tohno-chan's secret textboard (ttp://tohno-chan.com/txt/)

696 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6931 15:07

>>695
Done

>>696
I demand that you make a new thread on Tohno-Chan's textboard and make it a good one

697 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6931 18:03

>>696 Done
>>698 I demand that you age

698 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6931 20:50

>>697 No, I won't... I shan't... I... no... nooo aaaaargh...cannot...submit...to...pushy...web user... uuurk

>>699 I demand that you demand something of >>700 without using your keyboard

699 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6931 21:05

on screen keyboard

post a photo of something in your room. yourself if comfortable

700 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6931 22:22

>>699 I drew a dragon on my butt ttp://s11.postimage.org/yd88ipzbn/Photo_on_2012_08_22_at_23_20_3.jpg

now you do something for me >>701

701 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6933 09:47

>>700
I threw together a juke style track for your dragon ass tattoo
http://iiichan.net/boards/music/src/dragonasstattoo.mp3

>>702
I demand you play my track back at ridiculously high volume and dance around the room like crazy.

702 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6936 17:52

>>701
Well gee, I sure felt silly doing that. About half way through it dawned on me that it wasn't actually a tattoo at all. Nicely done with the music, though.

>>703
I demand that you make your demand in the form of a puzzle; perhaps a simple code or some such.

703 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6937 01:38

Well the next poster (>>705) always tells the truth or always tells lies, what must you demand so that you figure out what he is?

704 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6937 07:10

>>705
Are you the guy who's replying to this comment?

705 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6937 08:42

>>704
No, I'm a girl. And that's a question, not a demand.

>>706
I demand you send "I love you" in reply to the next person that messages/texts you and report the results here.

706 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6937 13:31

>>705
Did this even before your request and now nothing is going to make sense for a while.

>>707
I demand you read some works by Hans Vaihinger and tell DQN your opinions.

707 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6956 18:29

>>706

@@@@@| _
@@@@@|„DM)@@@I'm not going to do that.
@@@@@|Ό@@@@@And there's nothing you can do about it !
@@@@@|

@@@@@τ@@™
@@@τ@@@^ _@@@ RANTA TAN
@@@@@@R(L„DM;)Ι @@RANTA TAN
@@ @ @@@ (@ ‚Φ) @@@RANTA RANTA
@ @ @ @ @@‚­ @@@@@@TAN

@@@τ@@@@™
@@@@@τ@^ _@@@RANTA RANTA
@@@@@@Ri;L„DMjɁ@@RANTA TAN
@@ @ @@@ (‚ց@ ) @@@RANTA TANTA
@ @ @ @ @@@@ >@@@@TAN

>>708
I demand that you pretend you haven't seen me.

708 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7003 13:23

>>709
I demand that you select a number between 1 and 764 (perhaps use a random number generator), find the corresponding post in the Post Your Current Thought thread and create a new thread based on it. You must post what number it was.

709 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7007 13:51

>>708
I chose 328 off the top of my head and created this:
http://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1352208362/

>>710
I demand that you attempt to redeem my thread.

710 Name: grey!C.MxxuCiTo : 1993-09-7007 14:07

>>709
I tried.
>>711
Go down to your local 7-11 store and buy something cheap that would be mildly comforting for you. Your favorite tea perhaps?

711 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7008 11:35

>>710 we don't have 7-11s here but after I signed on I went and bought a vanilla frijj, it was mildly comforting

>>712 give me a song i probably haven't heard before

712 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7008 16:58

>>711
http://grooveshark.com/s/Nice+Weather+For+Ducks/4M2BT?src=5
Enjoy!

>>713
I demand that you describe a particularly interesting object near you in nauseating detail.

713 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7008 17:05

>>712
my toe. long, fat, round, stubby, stiff. *cracks toe knuckle* seems to have a wart near the top. nail's edge is rough and crude

714 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7008 17:07

>>715
add me on steam and play dota2 with me. its okay if you don't have it, i'll gift you a copy. steam name = sabitsuki steam id = sicp

715 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7008 17:42

>>714

No.

>>716

Drink nothing but tea all day.

716 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7008 19:48

>>715
Certainly. Earl Grey it is.

>>717
I demand you tell me what 3DS games to buy.

717 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7009 00:11

>>716 The new pokémon ones? I don't know any DS games sorry

>>712 That song got played often on mainstream radio a few years ago, pretty sure it was even on one of those "now that's what I call music" compilations or something. Good song but poor effort >>712!

>>718 pick a sex position for me to try sometime soon.

718 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7009 00:31

>>717
'Bumper Cars'

>>719
Tell us about the shadiest situation you've ever been in.

719 Name: grey!C.MxxuCiTo : 1993-09-7009 01:02

>>718
Buying booze for a British twenty year old. He was always mad that anytime he came to the states it was suddenly not legal for him to drink. So he paid me a little to buy it for him.
>>720
Draw a picture, with pencil, of your favorite AA character and show us it.

720 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7009 01:06

>>718
My life is ridiculously tame, so nothing too shady. One time I drove without a license to my friend's house an hour away to watch a movie (which he probably downloaded illegally). I was running late so I drove dangerously over the speed limit.

>>720
Do something shady and tell us about it.

721 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7009 02:26

>>719
http://i.imgur.com/KSCjK.jpg
Here you go. I'm sorry it's not that great.

>>721
Rub your hands together

722 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7009 03:03

>>721
Alright. I laughed evilly while I did it too.

>>723
Play Dota2 with me. http://steamcommunity.com/id/sicp

723 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7009 04:24

>>722
Dota2 a shit.

>>724
Play Dota2 with >>722

724 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7009 04:31

>>723
I don't want to!

>>725
Tell me some cool IRC channels

725 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7009 08:23

>>724
#coolircchannel on Rizon.

>>726
I demand you start a new QUALITY thread on DQN and get at least 37 replies.

726 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7009 10:44

>>725
http://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1352371272/

>>727
I demand that your entire post consists of less than 25 characters.

727 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7009 12:22

>>726 ok
>>728 post mittens!

728 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7011 17:24

>>727
( ί ƒŽί)

>>729
I demand that you find me pornography involving mittens. If you cannot find any, you must draw it in MS paint.

729 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7011 23:25

>>728
http://i.imgur.com/HvgVK.png

>>730
play dota 2 with me. my steam id is earlier in this thread. if you deny this request, then write a 700 word minimum essay about the most shameful thing you've done in your entire life

730 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7012 01:04

>>729
i peed my pants x 175

>>731
Give me your blessings

731 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7012 01:32

Je te blessure

>>732
I demand you find me a way to convert .dcr files into .swf

732 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7012 05:16

>>731
http://www.brothersoft.com/downloads/dcr-to-swf-converter.html

>>733
I demand that you write an inflammatory post targeted at >>723,730 for me.

733 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7012 05:20

>>732
>>723 : Appendicitis!
>>730 : Phlebitis!

>>734
I demand you tell me why cmus isn't reading .mp4 and .m4a files even after I installed libmp4v2.

734 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7012 06:36

>>733
Do you have faad? I think libmp4v2 just handles the container.

>>735
I demand you look out your window for a minute or two.

735 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7012 10:27

>>734
There are about 80 raindrops hanging from the underside of my balcony rail. Also, putting the Revoltech Woody on the windowsill may have been a bad move. His rapeface makes looking out past him quite uncomfortable.

>>736
I demand you link to an a cappella version of one of your favourite songs on either Youtube or Nicovideo.

736 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7014 02:25

737 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7018 15:37

>>736
http://www.skylinesaustralia.com/forums/topic/236553-brand-new-nissan-gtr-nur-spec-engines-rb26dett/
This do? I seriously don't know shit about cars.

>>738
I demand that you post a picture of the most beautiful thing you can think of.

738 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7019 00:28

http://tinyurl.com/mc59wf

>>739
I demand that you do not post mittens

739 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7019 12:25

>>738
( ί mί)

>>740
I demand that you cheer me up somehow.

740 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7020 00:04

>>739 Do you like when 8-bit games get reviewed?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aIGY0sYAqHo&feature=results_video

>>741 I demand to know what is the 2nd item on your Christmas wish list.

741 Name: Sagat : 1993-09-7020 04:57

TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER

742 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7021 16:23

>>740
A nice frilly dress. Note that this is very much a wish list; I don't really expect to receive one, sadly...

In other news, I just noticed that the link in >>728 no longer works. This must be rectified post haste.
( ί ƒŽί)

>>743
I demand that you recommend me a good Minecraft server, if you know of any. Alternatively, I demand that you build a giant mitten sculpture in Minecraft and post a screenshot.

743 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7021 16:44

>>742
I don't play Minecraft too often anymore, but I could suggest Desucraft - if it's still up.

>>744
I demand you tell me in at least 100 words why you post on DQN.

744 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7022 05:33

>>743
The question "why" can be approached from several different angles. I might answer, "because I have the ability to do so" or "because I have the opportunity to do so." But ability and opportunity alone do not yield an effect. I could say that I post in order to externalize my thoughts or for some feeble sense of community, but neither one of these motivations is an end unto itself. bla bla bla bla pera pera because it's fun bura bura bura bura pantsu DQN LOL oh god has it been a hundred words yet nope two more ok done.

>>745
more mittens pls

746 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7022 18:03

>>744
FOOLISH MORTAL, YOU SEEK TO QUESTION MY DEVOTION TO COLLECTING PICTURES OF TOUHOUS WEARING MITTENS?

GAZE UPON MY COLLECTION! GAZE UPON IT AND WEEP!

>>747
I DEMAND MORE IMAGES OF CUTE GIRLS WEARING MITTENS. FEED ME! FEEEED MEEEEE!

747 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7028 23:36

>>746 ttp://rule34.paheal.net

>>748 I demand an alternative to the law of supply and demand.

748 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7029 00:08

>>747
Trickle down economics, if we give the richest people all our money we will in turn be payed a living wage.

>>749
I demand you find me all of the references to mittens on the wayback machine 12chan.

749 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7032 16:11

>>748
Couldn't even find one. Sorry.

>>750
I demand that you draw a picture based on your captcha.

750 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7032 16:29

interrupted with Smoopy rape, which due to extreme pleasure quickly turned consensual. Both the Malay girl and claw

751 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7033 00:35

>>749
http://i.imgur.com/hEsXk.png

>>750
Man I was so drunk last night I posted completely in the wrong thread

>>751
I demand that you write a short poem based on your captcha.

752 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7033 12:53

>>751
The perturbation
Of his public masturbation
Affects the whole nation
What the hell is quibation

>>752
I demand you tell me whatever it is you last held between the thumb and forefinger of your left hand.

753 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7033 13:46

>>752 A joint of UR-144

>>754 Check out this song! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aj13Y_H6lDo

754 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7034 18:35

>>753
Interesting and not at all unpleasant, but probably not the sort of thing I'd listen to more than once.

>>755
I demand that you spend five to ten minutes reading about chaos theory and report back what you understand of it.

755 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7035 08:57

>>754
I understood the parts about the butterfly effect and deterministic systems. Aside from that, fuck all.

>>756
I demand that you summarize the entire plot of the webcomic Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff in less than 15 words.

756 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7035 11:12

>>755
How HIGH do you even have to BE to even BE that HIGH?

>>757
I demand that you find me a cheap (preferably free) way to keep my hands from freezing off at a computer without putting the heating on full blast.

757 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7035 16:50

>>756
I hear these are high quality: http://www.amazon.com/quality-Black-Warmer-Mitten-Gloves/dp/B0038OD3Y0/ref=pd_sxp_redirect

>>758
I demand that your next demand be spoken like a true banchou.

758 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7039 06:11

>>757
annoying fools like you make me want to KICK THEIR ASSES

>>759
die

759 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7039 06:14

>>758

No, I have things to live for.

>>760

Show me your last online purchase

760 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7039 19:12

761 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7040 11:34

>>760
D

>>762
Tell me the best possible breakfast.

762 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7040 12:12

>>761
A pineapple

>>763
Give me the kiss of life

763 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7040 12:13

>>761
Warm brioche, chocolate pillows, orange juice and a sweet cappuccino with sprinkles.

>>763
I demand you give me a reasoned, objective comparison of Crash Bandicoot and Mario 64.

764 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7040 12:36

>>763
Mario 64 mainly recalls memories of frustration, as I could only play it when I visited my friend. Due to my lack of any home game systems besides a Gameboy, I was pretty inexperienced and died often. Thus I never got to play very long since we always played "switch when you die" style. Honestly, we were more amused at playing with Mario's face on the starting screen than anything else. We usually switched to Mario Kart, a game everybody could enjoy together.

As for Bandicoot, it is the game of sleepovers. My Kiwi friend was tall and lanky and lived in a big house. It was still sunny out, but we were tired of running so we piled into his room. The joy of middle school, no responsibilities today nor tomorrow. We planned on ordering pizza later. The Kiwi grew up in South Africa so he played us some native African tunes, but it failed to entertain us for long so he switched on the Playstation. Crash Bandicoot, switch when you die style. Neither of us had much fun though, so we switched to Crash Team Racing before I could really get a feel for the game. He had a multitap so all could play. CTR was much more fun and it soon grew dark without us realizing. We had pizza.

Oh wait, now that I've written this all out I looked at your demand closer and saw that it said "reasoned, objective." Oops.

>>765
I demand you give me an emotional, subjective comparison of Tetris Attack and Puyo Puyo Fever. If you don't know those games, then a comparison of Mario Kart and Super Smash Bros.

765 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7040 18:57

>>764 Tetris attack is such a fucking bitch, Never fucking answers her phone, and to top it all off, last january when i broke up with tyrone, GUESS WHO WENT TO HIS PARTY AND HOOKED UP WITH HIM? Tetris Attack.
Puyo Puyo Fever is a true sister and has always been there for me.

>>766 I demand you tell me everything i need to know about a 1993 Saturn SL2

766 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7040 21:44

>>765
I have a 1995, so you're gonna hear about the '95 and like it.
It has a plastic body and flip-up headlights. Had to rebuild the engine. Saturns are notoriously bad for piston rings. Certain parts can only be gotten from particular chevy dealers. Has this crappy hard-to-work-with double overhead cam. It's trying to be sporty and failing miserably. it's pretty gutless, but what do you expect with 4 cylinders. The company shut down like a year ago or more. I wouldn't want to buy another saturn after this one bites the dust. Not bad gas mileage though. Tank is 12 gallons.I guess the SL has an extra little door for rear passenger access or something. If you can get one that isn't really wound, for really cheap, maybe go for it.

>>767
I demand that you tell me how your weekend was/has been so far

767 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7041 01:56

>>766 It was excellent because I went to the Tampa Bay International auto show on Saturday and watched the Bucs game on Sunday

>>768 Do you live in Florida, or have you ever visited Florida?

768 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7041 01:59

>>767 YES.

>>768 Tell >>666-san about your breakfast

769 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7041 11:35

Well >>666-san, today's might've been one of my more notable breakfasts, although I'd still call it pretty forgettable. As I have numerous important interviews today, of which I am currently in an interval between, I awoke feeling underslept and nervous - yet also quite hungry. I was supplied a full English breakfast, which was most generous, but in the end I could only stomach one rasher of bacon, one sausage and one hash brown. Ah well.

>>770
I demand that you solve a sudoku as fast as you can and report back how long it took.

770 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7041 11:59

>>770
7 minutes, 29 seconds. I feel somewhat ashamed considering it was only an easy one.

>>771
I demand that you attempt to remix or rearrange the tetris theme with whatever DAW is available to you.

771 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7041 12:05

>>770
Already have, does this count? It's about 3 years old.
http://www.last.fm/music/Infected+Ear/_/Another+Shit+Tetris+Remix

>>772
I demand you buy my milk.

772 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7042 01:41

>>771 No! I am lactose intolerant and if I drink milk, I will get painful diarrhea!

>>773 I demand that you rent a gun at a gun range if it is legal in your area.

773 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7042 23:02

>>772
I live in a country where guns are illegal, but I did used to go shooting with my dad when I was a kid. I was most surprised by the recoil, it's stronger than it looks in the movies, even for small handguns.

>>774
I demand you bump 3 threads onto the front page that deserve to be revived.

774 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7043 19:22

775 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7044 00:17

776 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7046 14:03

>>775
I'm afraid I could only find thirteen pine trees so it wasn't to full scale, but hopefully the aliens should recognise it anyway.

>>777
I demand that you attempt to fit as many biscuits as you can into your mouth at once and report back how many you managed.

777 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7192 00:16

>>776
I didn't have any biscuits but I managed to fit 4 English Muffin halves into my mouth.

>>778
I demand that you write down at least 5 secret messages and hide them around public places for people to find. Bonus points if you tell us what the messages were or take pictures.

778 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7204 16:28

>>777
After much deliberation as to what sorts of secret messages to leave, I ended up using some posts from the last Post Your Current Thought thread, namely:
http://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1360549149/218,309,483,537,830.
I would've done it much sooner, but the weather has been dreadful recently. Ah well.
Anyway, I tried uploading the pictures as an album but imgur kept returning errors for some reason, so here they are individually.
http://i.imgur.com/JJqZXDL.jpg / http://i.imgur.com/d9HS2S9.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/n2jFSTj.jpg / http://i.imgur.com/JZWkngG.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/ZTzgaPi.jpg / http://i.imgur.com/sBZYyqt.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/uU1krZB.jpg / http://i.imgur.com/3uSpL2d.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/nspHWW2.jpg / http://i.imgur.com/usyfPdx.jpg

Bonus picture: strange butterfly I saw while I was out.
http://i.imgur.com/XYCSe0F.jpg

>>779
I demand that you reinvigorate this thread with a nice easy, yet satisfying demand.

779 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7204 16:36

>>778
You used my King Lear quote! Anyway I'll do it.

>>780
I demand that you roll on the floor like a stuffed sausage.

780 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7204 17:31

>>778 Great choices of hiding places! Good job.

>>779 I'm about to smoke some salvia, and that is usually what happens.

>>781 I demand an anecdote about your best experience with drugs. Doesn't have to be a personal experience, could be about a friend you were with.

781 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7204 20:03

>>780
One time there was a teenager who kept posting on message boards about what drugs he was doing, so I sent all the posts to his parents. Good times.

>>782
I demand that you tell me about your day without using the letter "e".

782 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7204 21:00

>>781
My story starts at around 10AM, at which point, prior to arising, I had fun with my book for a bit (It's a Victorian sort of almost sci-fi thing; difficult to talk about). I took a bus into town and had lunch with a psychologist. I had a sandwich with bacon in it. Following this, I took a bus back again, and straight away took my dog for a walk, taking a bag full of various things to do with >>778. I took photos, had fun, and saw an odd moth-sort-of-thing, which, it turns out, was this.

>>783
I demand that you post a stream of consciousness of at least 144 words.

783 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7204 21:36

Walking down the street past the seedier shopping centre my wife says "hey shall we get some salvia?" because she's never tried it and I'd told her about my previous fun experiences with it. Excited I said yeah great let's go and we went in and went to the head shop and as I look around i notice she's gone into the other side of the partitioned shop so I lean over to call her over but as I do the shop owner comes over and asks if i need any help so I panic and just ask for 60x salvia and leave again and we go for the bus and get home, excited to go into the salvia dimension again but this time to share it with my darling. I ask if she'd like to go first and tell her the proper way to smoke it and what to expect and she's like "I'm not an idiot" okay well alright here you go, and she starts coughing so i get her some water and then she's all "Now you've made me grumpy" and I'm like why what did i do "JUST FUCK OFF" and starts watching her TV programmes on my laptop so I pull the cable out of it and put some music and on and she flips out screaming turn your fucking shit music off "not until you apologise" i say and she starts throwing things at me and lunging at me and pulls the plug from my computer so i kick her off the bed and put the bedsheets and covers and mattress on top of her and tell her to shut up and she starts crying and i'm like i hope you're crying because you feel bad for being horrible to me and she says she is so i give her a cuddle and we make up then we start playing the playstation, i want to smoke some myself but it doesn't feel like the right atmosphere and in the middle of playing she suddenly says "I better do the dishes! so she leaves and i put some psytrance on and smoke myself, but just as i start to trip she comes through and starts talking to me and cuddling me and it ruins my trip. So I try again a bit later and it's not as good as previous experiences but I still turned into the waterwheel from a 1920s paddle steamer, then I played some more playstation with her helping her beat the hard bosses, why did >>781 assume i'm a teenager, just because I use drugs? i haven't been a teenager for a long time, in fact it wasn't till the end of my teens that I found better living through chemicals, that i changed from a depressed stay-at-home loner to a charming popular non-virgin haha, he's probably a prude who thinks drugs are bad, this is probably past 144 words now, though maybe it's more of a blog post than a stream-of-consciousness but then aren't all blogs like that? arf arf

>>784 Describe the key point in your life that you feel was the main transition from your childhood to who you are today, if you feel you have reached that point yet.

784 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7204 22:58

>>783
It happened a few years ago. I was on the bus on the way to school, and I suddenly realised how small everything was. I'm nothing but a tiny speck in a huge and amazing world.
From that point onwards, I never looked at life the same way, and honestly feel I've matured a lot from that one event. It became my goal to leave a lasting impression in this world. That was when I ceased being a child and began my life as an adult.

>>785
You simply MUST post Shift-JIS art in your response.

785 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7204 23:15

>>783
I'm a lazy-ass slob, a NEET, a hikikomori. I recently severed all social contacts with the outside world. How did I get here?

Well, in school I was a very polite, nice and shy kid who never skipped a lesson, who was doing everything he told to do. These properties didn't help with establishing relationships with other angsty prepubescent teens, but they didn't hurt much either. I wasn't bullied. Teachers and parents adored me. Girls probably too because I was cute and never harassed them. We were all together partly since elementary school, partly since middle school. Though as puberty kicked in we became less united, we basically established 3-4 people circles. I was rather successful, aspiring young man who wanted to study "something that has to do with programming".

Everything changed when I enrolled in a rather famous university far away from my hometown. I had to live in a dormitory with two senior students. I suspect that my father is responsible for this. He thought that it might teach me about life. Other freshmen lived in rooms with each other (plus an occasional final-year student who usually had a job and was busy with his stuff). So, my roommates were not only neither freshmen or graduates, but a rather lazy lot. The privilege of living with them was that nobody could demand a beer from me (I'm not even sure that somebody even did this). They were nice guys but all they did were playing games, going to the university or just hanging out somewhere.

We didn't even have a free desk that I could use to study properly. A "dining table" that was basically a torn off closet door doesn't count. It was greasy, filled with dirty plates, etc. The other was a computer desk which was usually occupied by those students. I spent a lot of my free time either in the zoo or walking some very long routes. In mid-Autumn I finally bought a cheap IKEA desk and got my old PC from the hometown. This is the point where my downgoing started. Attracted by the light of a display, repelled by the weather turning cold, I was paying less and less attention to the external world. It was a time of a crappy GPRS connection, but rather big LAN. Movies, anime, video games and a bit of browsing...

Eventually, roommates failed their re-examinations but didn't want to return home. They told their parents that everything was okay, had a part-time job, tried to restore their status as students. But they still lived in the room. With only one person formally living in that room I've got another roommate and then another. We only had a bunk bed and regular one. Fortunately, that fifth guy lived at his aunt's house. Those former students shared a smaller bed during night and disappeared during day, because dormitory head was trying to catch them. Their hiding was rather dramatic and funny.

Unfortunately, I hardly remember winter. There was something about being too lazy to revise, failing or chickening out from exams and getting a leave of absence. During this time my father moved to the city and rented apartments, I moved with him. During New Year celebrations my roommates were caught with alcohol. Those slackers had been restored as students, so this was bad for them. One of them lost his nerve and told the head to fuck off. Soon both were kicked out again (the other one later apologized), other ex-roommates were moved to a much less comfortable dorm outside the city.

During my half-year leave, I got a cable connection. Approximately at the time I turned 18, I discovered 4chan. It was still young and still good back then.

Thus my information superhighway adventure has begun. Slipping my studies more and yet more, failing to establish long-lasting contacts and feeling perpetually depressed, yet hoarding the slack and enjoying the digital world, I found my shelter. And yet I'm still lost.

>>785
Are you touched by my story? Would you shoot me or pat me on the back and say, "It'll be okay, you'll find your way through" or do something else? What do you reckon might be a fresh new start for me?

786 Name: 785 : 1993-09-7204 23:21

Oh no, this is so embarrassing! I was typing and editing for almost a hour and somebody just posted first.
Have a SJIS story of my life then, mr. >>784!

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>>787
Help, I need somebody! Help, answer >>785!

787 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7204 23:42

Don't worry, help is here! It's the least I can do after stealing your post.
I was touched deeply by your story, >>785-san. The melancholic tone really left an impact. I can sympathise with you easily, and have almost ended up down the same path myself several times. But if I may ask, don't you treasure the experiences? Sure, they may not have been constructive, but they certainally make a grand tale. My advice would be to figure out what it is you want to do for the rest of your life, and once you have discovered that, start planning how you will get there. I wish you luck!

>>788
Your task is to invite a non-DQN friend to the site.

788 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7205 03:46

>>778
Wow, amazing job! You fulfilled my demand better than I could have ever hoped. I think I may have written one of those posts but I'm not sure. My memory is terrible.

>>787
That was pretty embarrassing, but I did it. I really hope he likes it here!

>>789
I demand you write a tanka about your lunch (kind of like a haiku, the syllables are 5-7-5-7-7)

789 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7205 12:53

>>788
A fried chicken and
A cold cucumber untouched.
Wobble of my chair,
Splashes of a hot black tea,
Stained clothes and cries of pain.

>>790
I demand you quickly visualise your current thought in a graphics editor of you choice.

790 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7205 15:41

>>789
http://i.imgur.com/ooPEqgt.png

>>791
I demand that you write a short story loosely based on this picture. It must have a happy ending.

791 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7205 16:12

>>790
Charles was happy at last.
It had been a hard life as a sentient cactus. The desert was too hot, and there was nobody to talk to. The scenery was always the same brown sands, with the occasional visit from a tumbleweed. The humans, however, had it lucky. With their legs, they could walk all over the world, and see many wonderful sights. Charles was jealous of the humans.
But then, it happened.
The rain came, flooding the cities where the humans lived. They all drowned. Charles laughed (or at least, he would've, if he had a mouth).
The End

>>792
I demand you rate my short story.

792 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7205 16:47

>>791
Glorious out of 10. I shed a layer of skin.

>>793
I demand you justify the last choice you made, making specific reference to the size of your genitals.

793 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7205 17:14

>>792
I chose to bring a pen drive full of Touhou games with me to a social occasion. Needless to say, this is because of the surface area of my scrotum.

>>794
I demand that you create a sandwich with at least seven different fillings, name it, eat it and tell us how it was.

795 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7206 04:20

Oh dear, I posted in the wrong thread! To apologize I fulfilled >>793's demand.

Quite luckily the school lunch today was a ham, egg and cheese sandwich with a side salad of pickles, corn, lettuce, carrots and mayo. I just put all the salad onto the sandwich and made what I call the Monstrous Sakata Mayhem! I named it after the principal Sakata who always puts salad on his sandwiches.

It wasn't bad. I'm not a fan of pickles or mayo so combining it with the tastier ham, egg and cheese made the salad much more palatable.

>>796
I demand you open up a folder of pictures you have taken, select 3 at random and upload them for us to see! (You're free to blur out faces and whatnot if they turn out to be personal pictures.)

796 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7206 05:39

>>795
http://i.imgur.com/X70DHgF.jpg

>>797
Take any physical video game you have and make a weird scene with it. Something along the lines of http://i.imgur.com/2YoVVvF.jpg

797 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7206 13:14

>>796
Oh god what am I doing
http://i.imgur.com/9fdjfxK.jpg
In other news, is that a TI-84 I see there? Ah, what memories! I remember having fun trying to get the most interesting error possible on one of those. If I recall, the best I got was from telling it to calculate the integral of a portion of a graph including an asymptote. What fun.

>>798
I demand that you tell me a joke or anecdote involving calculators.

798 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7206 16:07

>>797 Once in Higher Maths the girl who sat in front of me said "hey look at this" and typed 5318008 on it and showed me, and I was like "um okay" but then she turned it upside down and, well, try it yourself! I had a giggle.

>>799 Turn around and put your hands behind your back on the keyboard, and type your whole post like that.

799 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7207 02:31

>>798
I am typing this usi t my nose. It's not too bad, but u am using an ipod kryboarx.

>>800
I demand you yell "800GET" as louf ad you can. And post aby reactions.

800 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7212 09:42

>>799
800 GET.
I totally cheated and waited until I was alone. So I yelled it but the rain just kept on raining and the computer kept on quietly humming and nothing changes which is my problem in the first place.

>>801
I demand you give somebody a present! And tell us what it was! It can be small or big, something you made or something you bought. But it can't be something you were already planning to give away.

801 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7215 23:25

>>800
I noticed earlier today in an email from Steam that the game "The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion" was on sale. I'd been notified because it was in my wishlist. I decided to buy it, but instead of using it myself I gifted it to a friend who is a huge LOTR fan. Hopefully he'll enjoy it.

>>802
I deemed you hurry up and post in this thread! It's almost died several times now.

802 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7215 23:38

>>801
I'm posting! I'm posting!

>>803
I demand that you write an exam style question on any topic, and that you demand that >>804 attempts to answer it.

803 Name: Minister of Uneasy History Questions : 1993-09-7216 08:25

>>802
What role did religions play in relations of Europe and Middle East during the Middle Ages? Compare it to the events of contemporary history.

>>804
Answer this, or you shall face execution by being bored to death with history books. And don't you dare to cheat by secretly opening Wikipedia on your phone! I wrote related articles, and they are all wrong.

804 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7216 23:13

>>803
Disclaimer: I have not studied history in many, many years. Furthermore, as per the demand, I have not looked at Wikipedia or anything like that. Here goes nothing.

During the Middle Ages, Western Europe was almost entirely Christian, whilst the Middle East was mostly Muslim. There was probably a smattering of Judaism in Eastern Europe as well. The crusades, a set of religiously motivated wars between Europe and the Middle East, occurred around this time (I think). There was also the endless and completely pointless conflicts in England over Catholicism and Protestantism. Thus, differences in religion caused conflicts.

In contemporary history, Europe has become more cosmopolitan, with members of many different religions coexisting. Furthermore, atheism is at an all time high, and people's attitudes to, for instance, converting from one religion to another, are extremely lenient when compared to the Middle Ages, showing that religion is not as important as it was. The Middle East is still almost entirely Muslim.

The most notable war involving Europe and the Middle East in modern times is still ongoing, so I'm not sure if it even counts as "history" yet. At any rate, the Middle Eastern side largely claims to be religiously motivated, whereas the European side has no religious aspect whatsoever.

>>805
I demand that you find your nearest living being and lick it.

805 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7217 17:26

>>804
I was going to weasel out of this by licking my arm and writing that it's slightly salty, but then my cat jumped on my knees. So I liked its neck. It had a neutral taste, my mouth is full of fur, and I got a scornful glance in return. The one that cats usually give to overly excited dogs in youtube videos.

>>806
Find a way to write your response and demand whilst being upside down. Describe how you did it and how it felt.

806 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7220 03:21

>>804
I licked my girlfriend after reading this a few days ago but never replied to this thread due to sex.

>>805
I'm lying on a couch writing upside down with my phone. I feel dizzy and silly.

>>807
I demand you revive this thread with a question or advice or both!
http://4-ch.net/love/kareha.pl/1326265053/l50

807 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7220 11:47

>>806
I did my best addressing DQN-kun. Hopefully my dream will eventually come true.

>>808
Launch the first graphics editor you find on your computer, draw a cat (if you aren't in a hurry colour it), post it on the web and link it here.

808 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7220 23:41

>>807
http://i.imgur.com/mlOqfPc.png
Let it be known, I am not an artist. Also, although I'm not exactly in a hurry, I am severely colourblind, hence the lack of colour.

>>809
I demand that you find a written account of somebody's dream (try here or here) and psychoanalyse it, Freudian style.

809 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7251 16:11

For SAoVQ's >>280, the rabbits are a symbol of promiscuity and fertility. >>280 has a lot of pent-up sexual energy but deep in his heart of hearts, >>280 knows the cold earth will soak up all of that sexual energy when >>280 grows old and dies, buried with his virginity.

>>810 I demand that you get this party started

810 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7252 04:25

>>809
No problem. Dims the lights, puts on dance music
Everybody, cheers! Distributes tequila shots
Now that we're all a bit tipsy, lets make this party even more interesting...>>811, I dare you to make out with >>812!

811 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7252 06:28

>>810
I-IAM RDY 2 MAEKS OUR DREAMS COAM TRU *hic* WHENEVEAR YUO ARE, >>812-CCCCCCHAAN http://i.imgur.com/5TBNxau.png

>>812
I demand you select and post the most mind-blowing party music you can find. No exceptions.

813 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7252 14:51

>>812
i don't think any of these (except maybe for the first one) are really suitable for a party other than a BOOM BOOM RAVE BOOM BOOM BOOM DRUGS LOL BOOM BOOM BOOM
i particurlarly liked strawberry lemonade and rescue me

>>814
link a picture of yourself doing weird things (you may black your face out if you don't trust DQN (hint: you shouldn't (LOL PAREN NESTING)))

814 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7253 05:29

>>814
Ignore >>813

815 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7253 17:54

Done and done!

>>816 Wear two different flavours of deodorant at the same time, every day for a week.

816 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7254 03:44

>>815
I'm starting your mission tomorrow. "Moonlight Mystery" and "DQN@Nite," left and right armpit respectively.

>>817
Imagine the most beautiful world possible, and tell me all about it.

817 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7254 05:45

>>816
That implies an objective measure of beauty, but beauty is in the eye of the DQN. I find a wide variety of things beautiful, from abstract geometric cityscapes (http://cargocollective.com/atelierolschinsky/STRUCTURES-V) to glacier volcanoes (http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2733/4490423858_98cba8bf85_z.jpg). It depends on my mood. Other people, I'm sure, have their own ideas.

So, I think the most beautiful world is one where we would live as consciousnesses in a vast net with the possibility to create and inhabit any possible world. A world made by and for artists. You could visit the abstract world of Dali until you grew tired of the melting clocks and moved to a peaceful mountain meadow populated by lesbian catgirls. Of course there's the problem of beauty unable to truly shine without ugliness for comparison, so there would be a small handful of malicious denizens that found beauty in trolling, spreading guro and goatse around people's idyllic pastures.

>>818
Imagine the ugliest world possible, and tell me all about it.

818 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7254 17:35

>>817
Your world sounds a little like the Metamorphosis of Prime Intelligence. If you haven't already, give it a read.

My ugliest world is a sand field. The sand is dirty. You can barely see the surface of the ground because it's covered in rotting wood and rusted metal. The only lodging is trailers, and the trailers are dusty and filled with spiders. They're filled with coupons from 1998 and empty bottles of Gatorade. The only work is lifting and rearranging to rotting wood and rusted metal. It smells like dust everywhere. The only entertainment is MTV.

>>819
Take a thousand dollars out of your bank account and spend it on a fancy watch.

819 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7255 13:42

>>818
I don't have any dollars in my bank account, only pounds sterling!

>>820
I demand that you show us all something beautiful you've built in Minecraft.

820 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7263 19:31

>>815
I'm not >>816, but I completed your demand while I was on holiday this week.

>>821
I demand you fulfil >>819's request!

821 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7263 23:55

>>819
http://minecraft.net/classic/list
Choose solidus server deaths, it's my server I built it from a poweredge 4600 and a dimension 5000

>>821
Set up a proper network of virtual machines to represent an internet: RNS, DNS, router, client, server, and NSA logging machine.

822 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7278 10:20

>>821
Well gosh, that's a rather difficult demand to set yourself. Good luck with that one.

>>823
I demand that you choose my new desktop background.

823 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7278 10:42

>>822

http://i.imgur.com/qs2AFrV.jpg

>>824

I demand that you find me an interesting and relatively obscure website to look at

824 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7278 10:58

>>823
http://www.ibiblio.org/lifepatterns/

>>825
I demand that you edit a Wikipedia article, somehow including the word "superstructure". Bonus points if it's an actually helpful edit.

825 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7487 14:46

826 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7487 16:18

>>825
Too loud.
>>827
Excrete!

827 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7487 16:44

>>826
Done!

>>828
Treat a girl/boy you have a crush on as if they were a dirty toilet. Report your results.

828 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7487 19:54

>>827
I tried to say something disparaging to my beloved waifu but just made myself unhappy. Terrible idea; would not recommend further.

>>829
I demand that you come up with as many uses as you can for a paperclip.

829 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7488 02:30

>>828
Non-usable battery
Hold paper together
Apocalyptic future currency
Staple
Religious Idol
Pipe Cleaner
Dinner
Staircase
Catalyst
Form of communication
Spring
Assistant

>>830
I demand you post a picture of you using a paperclip in one of these ways.

830 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7533 23:39

>>829
DQN paperclip dinner.jpg
It's MS paint quality!

>>831
I demand that you solve this jigsaw (change cut -> 100 piece classic) as fast as you can and post how long it took you. See if you can beat my time of 7:22!

831 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7534 00:17

>>830
5:16

>>832
I demand that you bow to a picture of SpongeBob.

832 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7537 16:27

>>831
I may bow before your false idol just this once, but my true god will always be Armok, God of Blood!

>>833
I demand that you download this file, but don't open it; just leave on your hard drive until you forget what it is and when or why you downloaded it.

833 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7538 13:23

>>832
I've downloaded it and shall try to forget it as soon as possible.

>>834
I demand you listen to the entirety of I Am Sitting in a Room by Alvin Lucier and tell me what you think.

834 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7538 17:51

>>833
Hmm. Made me glad I don't have a stutter. The way the speech got more and more distorted was rather interesting, and the sound towards the end was oddly soothing. Not sure I'd listen to it twice, though.

>>835
I demand that you post the last ten entries in your browser history.

835 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7538 18:46

>>834
22:42 The Elitist Superstructure of DQN @ 4-ch
4-ch.net
22:38 GUNSHOW ARCHIVE
gunshowcomic.com
22:38 Gunshow - Dogs Rule
gunshowcomic.com
22:38 Gunshow - Cool Frog and Dolphin
gunshowcomic.com
22:37 don't get mad at video games - Google Search
encrypted.google.com
22:37 Cheap Arduino Module kits & Single-Chip Microcomputer Diy Supplies for Sale - DX
www.dx.com
22:09 Monotora - Battlelog / Battlefield 4
battlelog.battlefield.com
22:09 2835825_570_321.jpg (570~321)
sverigesradio.se
22:08 Battlelog / Battlefield 4
battlelog.battlefield.com
22:08 Welcome - Nectarine Demoscene Radio
www.scenemusic.net

>>835
I demand that you show us what is in your drawer.

836 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7539 18:02

837 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7540 09:14

>>836
Another day, another dance, another dead guy. I cantered about the stage, twirling an elegant fan. The small audience cared not for these aesthetic trappings.

"Just get him out here already!" a burly man shouted.

"Quiet, it's only going to take longer if you interrupt her," his smaller man bespectacled companion whispered angrily. I nodded silently. I was as bored as they were, but if I didn't do the dance right, nothing would happen.

After a few more minutes of whirling about, I finally felt the heaving in my chest. I froze and dropped my fan, then my whole body slumped down like a puppet. Somebody else raised my head back up.

"Who summons me?" a deep voice demanded through my mouth.

"Tell us where the money is!" the burly man shouted, "or we'll kill your family!"

"You dare disturb the afterlife to make empty threats?!" I boomed in a terrifyingly deep voice. "The idle matters of the living mean nothing to me."

The smaller companion with glasses was unimpressed. He stepped forward to speak.

"Come on, Kenta. If it means nothing to you, why don't you just tell us what you did with the money? Then we can all rest in peace. Ha."

"You fool, money is as meaningless as life itself! Why should I remember such an insignificant detail?" I shouted back.

"I was afraid it might come to this," Glasses sighed. He snapped his fingers. Two grunts jumped forward. Before I could react they had pounced on me. They pinned me to thr ground and tied my hands and legs together.

"These are soul-binding ropes, Kenta," Glasses said, pacing evilly around my helpless body. "You can't leave this poor little miko's body until I untie her. And everything she feels, you will feel. Gongon? The knife?"

The burly guy stepped forward with an evil grin. He took out a knife and licked his lips.

"Hey dead guy," I whispered inside my own head, "leave this to me." I began rapidly chanting a ritual under my breath. The wretched gangster was getting closer. I concentrated as hard as a I could and finished the spell just as he was about to slice apart my expensive hakama. Suddenly I was engulfed in holy flames. The fire exploded outwards, burning the ropes and blasting the gangsters to the ground. I took advantage of the confusion to make a mad dash for the mountains.

After running long enough to be sure they hadn't followed me, I stopped to catch my breath.

"Phew, that was a close one," I said. "I should have known not to take a possession request from the yakuza. But they paid me so well!"

"I thought maidens were above material needs," chided Kenta, the dead man in my body. I blushed at suddenly feeling my mouth move on its own.

"Hey! You don't need to talk with my mouth, just speak to me in my head!" I scolded.

"Like it or not, we're sharing this body now," Kenta said back, still using my mouth. "Since you burned the soulbinding ropes with holy fire, we're stuck together."

"EHHHHHH!??!?" my cry of shock pierced the forest. The camera sharply panned out, and a flock of birds flew out of the trees.

"Be quiet, they'll find us!" Kenta said through me.

"You're the one using my mouth still!"

"I know, it just feels too weird...too intimate," he said, blushing.

"You didn't seem so shy when you were in scary-ghost mode!"

"Yeah, well, I was fresh out of the afterlife. Now that I've spent a few minutes inside a mortal, my old personality is returning," Kenta explained.

"Well anyway, I can't live like this!" I exclaimed. "Now hurry up and get out of my body! Out out out! Come on!"

"I wish I could! Isn't there a dance or something you can do?"

"I haven't learned such a high-level dance!" I protested. "I usually just do quick 1-minute possessions so I can help the departed's family have peace of mind...and make a bit of cash!"

"Well, you better learn how to get us apart before we have to take a bath together. Ha ha!" Kenta joked. I blushed furiously and slapped myself in the cheek.

"Stupid pervert!" I shouted. "OUCH!" we cried together.

(1/2)

838 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7540 09:15

After an hour of hiking, we came to a long stone staircase that led to a magnificent shrine.

"This is Rakuhei Shrine," I said, as we climbed the steps. "My friend Haruka Rakuhei lives here. She's a really good miko. She taught me that fire spell for self-protection! I'm sure she'll know a way out of this predicament."

We stepped through the torii gate at the top, and Haruka came running out of the main shrine to meet me. She was stunningly beautiful as usual.

"Oh Kanae, I'm so glad you're safe!" she said, embracing me. "I sensed the fire spell earlier. What happened?"

"Er...hi, I guess," Kenta said through my voice. "Nice to meet you, I'm Takahiro Kenta. I got mixed up in some...uh...nasty business, and ended up dead..."

"Some yakuza made me summon this pervert," I interrupted, "and now he's stuck in my body! Hurry up and get him out already!"

Haruka just laughed.

"Nice to meet you, Kenta. How does it feel to be in such a sexy young body?"

We blushed a deep crimson red. "Haruka! Don't say such weird things!"

---

"Once two souls have been bound together by cursed rope, the only way to separate them is by untying or cutting the rope," Haruka said, reading from an ancient scroll. We were sitting on the floor of the shrine library. "But this doesn't say anything about burning it with holy fire."

"How are we supposed to untie the rope when it's gone!" I demanded.

"Hold on. This next scroll mentions an emergency ritual for splitting two souls. But it can only be performed with a special fan from Gentokyo."

"Gentokyo? But isn't that where the yokai live?"

"Yep!" Haruka seemed way too excited.

"But that's dangerous! We'll be eaten!"

"Haha, don't worry! Kenta will be with you," Haruka teased.

"H-hey, I don't know how to fight Yokai, I'm just a ghost!" Kenta protested.

"So it's decided, we'll leave for Gentokyo first thing tomorrow morning!" Haruka said cheerfully.

"You're not listening!!" Kenta and I chorused together.

---
to be continued?

>>839
I demand you write a short fan fiction about my short story.

839 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7540 14:21

>>838
"Forgot something?" asked Reimu.
"I wish!" replied Kenta.

>>840
I demand you to give an A+ review to my short fanfic and also mention which part you liked the most.

840 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7540 18:01

>>839
A+. Reading this fanfic was a truly profound, life changing experience, on a par with a native American spirit journey or taking LSD. The text conveys its message with startling precision and insight, concisely and unpretentiously, without obfuscatory language. The short length leaves the reader with a sense of wonder at what goes unsaid - the author may directly ask only one question, but the reader is left with countless more. Ultimately, the text is a demonstration of Absurdist philosophy, challenging the idea that a story must have a moral, point, or meaning at all. This idea, that the author need not pander to the reader's every vagary, is sure to usher in a new age of literature. My favourite part is the crippling sense of existential dread the reader is left with after reading.

>>841
I demand that you spend at least ten minutes reading about a topic you know absolutely nothing about and post what you learned.

841 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7564 20:17

>>840
I chose the wikipedia article on phylogenetics. It looks like phylogenetics is a discipline more or less defined by the use of relatively complicated math to study the evolutionary tree of life. Supposedly there's Bayesian inference and stuff. The NSF funds a lot of this. There's a specific (ongoing) project devoted to just red algae, called RedToL. There's a big sequence database called GenBank, run by the National Center for Biotechnology Information, part of the NIH. Also, taxonomy is somewhat distinct from modern phylogenetics. Cladistics is a branch of taxonomy trying to bring taxonomy into line with phylogenetics, and phenetics is a branch of taxonomy that ignores phylogenetics entirely. It looks like phenetics is on the way out, although neighbour joining is still relevant.

>>842
I demand that you shave your legs and describe how it makes you feel.

842 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7595 15:09

>>841
It made me feel very tanasinn.

>>843
I demand you bump a thread that has been inactive for more than a year.

843 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7595 15:40

>>842
Done! http://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1288889234/52

>>844
I demand you message "I love you" to the next person who contacts you via email, IM, or text.

844 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7595 19:42

>>843
I love you.

>>845
I demand that you install a PGP email client and post your public key here.

845 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8035 22:04

>>844
Have the key to my heart instead.

>>846
My demand: list your favourite alcoholic drink!

846 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8035 23:06

>>845

  • Buckfast!

>>847 I demand you tell us where you were on September 7595th at 19:42!

847 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8036 10:40

>>846
Probably in front of this very computer, thinking about making a start on writing that night's update.

>>848
I demand that you post something cute and heartwarming.

848 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8394 19:00

>>847
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GKxarMc1_Kk
Isn't she sweet?

>>849
I demand that you bump at least one high quality old thread that you think deserves it.

849 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8478 04:02

>>848
Bumping this one!

>>850
I demand you link to an interesting website that is unknown to most DQNs.

850 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8478 12:21

>>849
https://qntm.org/destroy

>>851
I demand that you start a new DQN mad lib thread!

851 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8881 14:27

>>850
http://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1514125464/

>>852
I demand that you list every present you receive for Christmas and give each of them marks out of ten.

852 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8883 19:28

>>851

  1. set of borosilicate baking dishes - 8/10
  2. large stainless steel cooking pot - 9/10, before receiving this I was making pastas and soups and such in my rice cooker because I didn't have one
  3. bottle of Jim Beam whiskey - 8/10, the thought behind it was 10/10, the taste is 6/10. I love whiskey but Jim Beam is meh. Still though, free liquor.
  4. Various winter clothing; socks, sweatpants, gloves, sweatshirts - 6/10, boring but practical. All of it fits well and is warm and comfortable.

Overall average: 7.75/10

>>853
I demand that you post something interesting in the /img/ image sharing thread.

853 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8885 23:10

>>852
I hope that you find this to be sufficiently interesting.

>>854
I demand to know something that you have never told anyone.

854 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8887 06:59

I used to be in a noise band

855 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8890 20:34

>>854
Cool.

>>856
I demand that you post while something is inserted into your anus, and describe the sensation to us in detail.

856 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8895 18:26

>>855
I'm not posting with it in my ass because it became too uncomfortable, so I'll describe it from recent memory. It was slightly arousing to say the least and not a feeling I've felt before. Anyway, there's only so much you can say about such a thing.

>>857
I demand you make a throwaway account on a random forum, make a completely off topic thread and post the results here
however esoteric or weird is up to you

857 Name: (iœjΔͺͺͺ²iœj) : 1993-09-8895 21:30

>>856
Hurry before it's deleted
https://www.bbq-brethren.com/forum/showthread.php?p=3929521#post3929521

>>858
I demand that you give me an interesting topic to research in depth.

858 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8896 19:23

>>857
eproctophilia

>>859
I demand you read >>857's research without laughing.

859 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8899 04:10

>>858
Well, I wasn't able to read >>857's research on eproctophilia because he or she hasn't posted it yet (as far as I know.) However, I did read >>857's thread on BBQ Brethren. This was more difficult than I expected as I had to make an account and wait a few days to get approved just to read it.

>>857's thread and subsequent responses was mildly humorous but I read it all without laughing, so I'll consider that demand fulfilled.

>>860
I demand you post at least 100 times in the thread "[COUNTDOWN] >>900 ON THE 9000TH DAY OF THIS GLORIOUS MONTH".

860 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9016 21:35

>>859
Done!

>>861
I demand that you find me an interesting and enjoyable text adventure.

861 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9016 23:07

>>860
One of my favorite text adventures is Slouching Towards Bedlam (http://ifdb.tads.org/viewgame?id=032krqe6bjn5au78) but you might already know about that. I also recently enjoyed A Dark Room (http://adarkroom.doublespeakgames.com).
A slightly more obscure text adventure that I highly recommend is Mastaba Snoopy (https://debacle.us/mastabasnoopy/). Oh, and Tower of the Blood Lord is pretty good too. (http://correlatedcontents.com/misc/Tower.html)

>>862
I demand you play one or more of the above games and write a short review here.

862 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9410 04:35

>>861
Mastaba Snoopy is both hilarious and horrifying. It is a clever amalgamation of weird Lovecraftian body horror and Snoopy.

If you think about it, the formula is not that difficult, and one that has been executed many times: take an innocent pop culture product which is overly mass-marketed (Snoopy, Garfield, Shrek, Minions, etc.) and transform it in a strange and horrifying manner.

Even if this concept is not exactly original, Mastaba Snoopy does a pretty good job of execution. One complaint is that the introduction is unnecessary, rather than providing an explanation for this Peanuts hell-world, I wish the game would just drop you into it without any explanation.

However, besides the lame introduction Mastaba Snoopy has pretty solid and entertaining writing. It is neither overbearing nor underbearing -- it is long enough to entertain but doesn't overstay its welcome. I think Twine is a great format for this style of writing, as the labyrinthine dialogue trees match the twisty maze of the Snoopy hell world. I'd love to see more text adventures like it.

Overall I'd rate Mastaba Snoopy 4 out of 5 Peppermint Patties.

>>863
I demand you post a screenshot of your bookmarks folder.

863 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9695 23:03

>>862
https://i.imgur.com/i543t6W.jpg
I hope this is satisfactory.

>>864
I demand you find me some interesting older threads to read through!

865 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9696 19:29

>>864 It's John, but I tell people it's John Jock Pterodactyl

>>866 I demand you be a bit more optimistic for the future!

866 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9696 20:04

>>865
I guess maybe things are going to be okay in the end.

>>867
I demand that you tell me something you love about yourself.

867 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9817 11:45

>>866
I love the colour of my eyes, they're a beautiful light blue with little hints of green.

>>868
I demand that you record yourself singing a nursery rhyme of your choice and link it here.

868 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10010 14:42

>>867 I sang >>75's nursery rhyme with my glockenspiel in a church https://www.mediafire.com/file/6f7f0gnkdh5g6uw/Praise_The_Apple.mp3/file

>>868 I demand that you send a cheerful message to a friend you haven't spoke to in a while.

869 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10103 18:14

>>868
Sent (at least I think it was cheerful), and got a nice conversation out of it.

>>870
I demand that you cook that dish you've been meaning to try out and upload photographic evidence (to the imageboard or somewhere else, then link it here).

870 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10370 17:22

>>869 Oh yeah I did this the other day and forgot to tell you https://4-ch.net/img/res/1723.html#2886

>>871 Now you have to tell us a good joke.

871 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10370 17:27

>>870 A wee boy and his dad are in the bath.
The boy goes gDad what do you call this bit?h and points at his earlobes
Dad replied "They call that your earlobe cos it's the lobe on your ear!"
The boy points at his eyelashes and blinks a few times and says gDad what are these called?h
Dad said "They call them your eyelashes cos they're the lashes on your eye!"
The boy points at his belly button and says gDad what do you call this bit?h
Dad said "They call that your belly button cos it's the button on your belly!"
The boy said "hmmm" went to push his belly buttonc
Dad went "NOOOOO!" and lunged towards himc
But he was too latec the boy exploded

>>872 I demand you stick your finger in your belly button and give it a proper good wiggle

872 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10370 19:25

>>871 I did this a couple months ago, it led to a rather nasty infection!
Doing it again reminds me that said infection never really fully went away!

>>873 I demand you compose for me a comforting song to rid me of my (possibly belly button related) woes!

873 Name: (´<_`  ) : 1993-09-10832 19:18

>>872
Unfortunately I can't help you with that (maybe some other kind soul will compose something for you, or maybe I'll remember it in a few years), but I can give you a zip file of all the imgur uploads in this thread, in light of the fact that imgur is planning to remove old anonymous uploads: https://files.catbox.moe/ieakgq.zip

>>874
I demand an interesting thread idea!

874 Name: (´<_`  ) : 1993-09-10832 20:14

>>873
A thread where everybody confesses their most depraved sexual fetishes.

>>875
I demand that you confess your most depraved sexual fetish.

875 Name: (´<_`  ) : 1993-09-10835 12:23

>>874 Maybe licking her period blood, chewing her used tampons, that kind of thing, but I've told you that a few times here

>>876 I demand you find the earliest mention of my fetish on /dqn/

876 Name: (´<_`  ) : 1993-09-10835 14:39

>>875
Here's the earliest I could find: >>/539.

>>877
I demand that you make ten posts in ten threads in the space of ten minutes.

877 This post sucked.

878 Name: (´<_`  ) : 1993-09-10845 17:32

>>877
cc

I demand >>879 recommends me a niche porn genre nobody knows

879 Name: (´<_`  ) : 1993-09-10845 20:02

>>878
SCUBA. Look it up on Clips4Sale. Uvula and wristwatch porn are also available on that fine website

I demand >>880 find post the worst thumbnail from their youtube recommendations

880 Name: (´<_`  ) : 1993-09-10846 06:54

>>879
Maybe not the worst but perhaps the most "cringe":
https://files.catbox.moe/988duo.PNG

This one is pretty bad:
https://files.catbox.moe/f47yw5.PNG

I demand that >>881 post the thumbnail from their youtube recommendations which has the smallest view count.

881 Name: (´<_`  ) : 1993-09-10846 08:21

882 Name: (´<_`  ) : 1993-09-10846 08:33

>>881
Sweetheart (17)
you're the mom friend, which is great because everyone needs one. speaking of, can you come over this weekend? in all seriousness, though, don't be afraid to have your own fun sometimes, too.

>>883
I demand to see the most worthless coin or investment you got.

883 This post sucked.

884 Name: (´<_`  ) : 1993-09-10863 17:52

>>882
I have 10 dollars and a bottle of snapple

>>885
I demand you give me Meryl's number

885 Name: (´<_`  ) : 1993-09-10865 12:29

>>884
140.15

>>886
I demand to know your results on this test: https://bdsmtest.org/

886 Name: (´<_`  ) : 1993-09-10866 12:08

>>885
http://bdsmtest.org/r/PDGJagKz
Half the questions imply I have any experience in the bedroom or with a partner so most of my answers were neutral. Sorry for ruining your fun. (I'm not actually sorry)

>>887
I demand you shuffle up a TCG deck and tell me what you topdeck.

887 Name: (´<_`  ) : 1993-09-10866 15:57

>>886 I got this one https://www.tcgplayer.com/product/84909/pokemon-wotc-promo-dragonite-movie-promo?Language=English

>>888 I demand you do a headstand against a wall for as long as you can and tell us how long you were upside down for

888 Name: (´<_`  ) : 1993-09-10868 01:26

>>887
Long enough to almost pass out

>>890 I demand you recommend me an anime from 1996

889 Name: (´<_`  ) : 1993-09-10868 10:10

>>888
The best anime of 1996, without any doubt, is Evangelion. Not only is the plot amazing, it delivers important themes about society and has a lot of symbols about religion. Pisses me off that people don't understand how beautiful this anime is and I just want to punch them in the face.

>>890 I demand you recommend >>888 an anime from 1996

890 Name: (´<_`  ) : 1993-09-10868 11:38

>>888
I think you should watch Famous Dog Lassie. I've never seen it and have no idea if it's any good or not, but I've heard good things about World Masterpiece Theater anime and 1996 didn't have a whole let else going on that I could see.

>>891
I demand you recommend me an anime from between 2000 and 2005.

891 Name: (´<_`  ) : 1993-09-10868 17:58

>>890
Mujin Wakusei Survive is great if you enjoy survival stories. It's about a bunch of kids from the future that get marooned on an Earth like planet.

>>892
I demand the URL to a Japanese link collection from 1998.

892 Name: (´<_`  ) : 1993-09-10873 11:37

>>891
https://www.nintendo.co.jp/n01/n64/software/zelda/
I'm afraid it only has one Link, but it is from 1998!

>>893
I demand you tell me about your most beloved childhood stuffed toy (and maybe even post a picture).

893 Name: (´<_`  ) : 1993-09-10875 15:49

>>892 Starting from before I was forming coherent memories, I carried around a teddy bear which was, for some reason, orange, with brown footpads, muzzle, and inside of ears. I called it "Cheesebear". For a time, I was quite obsessed with Calvin & Hobbes, though it was not in our newspaper and instead I simply read it out of anthologies of it we had on our living room boomshelf, and I imagined Cheesebear in much the same way as Calvin imagined Hobbes. I still have it, sitting in my attic, overlooking the stairs, but I'm not home at the moment and cannot snap a picture.

>>894 I demand that you draw your favorite non-dinosaur fossil creature. A simple MSpaint doodle with your mouse will do; don't worry about it looking particularly good.

894 Name: (´<_`  ) : 1993-09-10878 14:29

>>893
https://4-ch.net/img/src/1686666508463.png
I have nothing but love for my girl hallucigenia. What an absolute freak.

>>895
Fuck, marry, kill: Beady Eyes, Clonepa, Grandpa. I demand your answer with full reasoning.

895 Name: mesr : 1993-09-11025 03:33

I scored 83, I thought I was a bad guy, but I checked only 23 statements out of 100 so there is a problem with the scoring. For double sure I checked this and got 23 means I am pure https://drdeenz.com/rice-purity-test/

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