Demanding from the next poster (895)

1 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6569 02:07

I demand that >>2 will end all his sentences with desu.

(>>0 demanded me to start this thread!)

785 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7204 23:15

>>783
I'm a lazy-ass slob, a NEET, a hikikomori. I recently severed all social contacts with the outside world. How did I get here?

Well, in school I was a very polite, nice and shy kid who never skipped a lesson, who was doing everything he told to do. These properties didn't help with establishing relationships with other angsty prepubescent teens, but they didn't hurt much either. I wasn't bullied. Teachers and parents adored me. Girls probably too because I was cute and never harassed them. We were all together partly since elementary school, partly since middle school. Though as puberty kicked in we became less united, we basically established 3-4 people circles. I was rather successful, aspiring young man who wanted to study "something that has to do with programming".

Everything changed when I enrolled in a rather famous university far away from my hometown. I had to live in a dormitory with two senior students. I suspect that my father is responsible for this. He thought that it might teach me about life. Other freshmen lived in rooms with each other (plus an occasional final-year student who usually had a job and was busy with his stuff). So, my roommates were not only neither freshmen or graduates, but a rather lazy lot. The privilege of living with them was that nobody could demand a beer from me (I'm not even sure that somebody even did this). They were nice guys but all they did were playing games, going to the university or just hanging out somewhere.

We didn't even have a free desk that I could use to study properly. A "dining table" that was basically a torn off closet door doesn't count. It was greasy, filled with dirty plates, etc. The other was a computer desk which was usually occupied by those students. I spent a lot of my free time either in the zoo or walking some very long routes. In mid-Autumn I finally bought a cheap IKEA desk and got my old PC from the hometown. This is the point where my downgoing started. Attracted by the light of a display, repelled by the weather turning cold, I was paying less and less attention to the external world. It was a time of a crappy GPRS connection, but rather big LAN. Movies, anime, video games and a bit of browsing...

Eventually, roommates failed their re-examinations but didn't want to return home. They told their parents that everything was okay, had a part-time job, tried to restore their status as students. But they still lived in the room. With only one person formally living in that room I've got another roommate and then another. We only had a bunk bed and regular one. Fortunately, that fifth guy lived at his aunt's house. Those former students shared a smaller bed during night and disappeared during day, because dormitory head was trying to catch them. Their hiding was rather dramatic and funny.

Unfortunately, I hardly remember winter. There was something about being too lazy to revise, failing or chickening out from exams and getting a leave of absence. During this time my father moved to the city and rented apartments, I moved with him. During New Year celebrations my roommates were caught with alcohol. Those slackers had been restored as students, so this was bad for them. One of them lost his nerve and told the head to fuck off. Soon both were kicked out again (the other one later apologized), other ex-roommates were moved to a much less comfortable dorm outside the city.

During my half-year leave, I got a cable connection. Approximately at the time I turned 18, I discovered 4chan. It was still young and still good back then.

Thus my information superhighway adventure has begun. Slipping my studies more and yet more, failing to establish long-lasting contacts and feeling perpetually depressed, yet hoarding the slack and enjoying the digital world, I found my shelter. And yet I'm still lost.

>>785
Are you touched by my story? Would you shoot me or pat me on the back and say, "It'll be okay, you'll find your way through" or do something else? What do you reckon might be a fresh new start for me?

786 Name: 785 : 1993-09-7204 23:21

Oh no, this is so embarrassing! I was typing and editing for almost a hour and somebody just posted first.
Have a SJIS story of my life then, mr. >>784!

          / \
        /    \/\
        |\   /    \/\
      /\  \ |\    /    \/\
    /    \  |  \  |\    /    \/\
    |\    /  .|       \  |\    /    \ /\
   / \ \/    |             \  |\   /    \/\
 /    \ |    .|                 \ |\    /    \/\
 |\    /|     |                      \|\    /    \
 |  \ //\                             \ /        \
 |   |/    \                            /\         >
 |   \    /|         Happiness is right around the corner!     / .|
 |     \ //\               /┗(^o^)┓  三     \   /    |
 |      |/   \        /\ /    ┏ ┗ 三 \     /| /      |
 |      \    /|   /\/    \      \    /|   /          |
 |        \ //\/    \     \     /|  /                 |
 |         |/   \     \    / | /                    |
 |         \     \   / | /                         .|
 |           \    /| /                              .|
 |            \ /                                  |
 |              .|                                   .|
               |
               |
               |

>>787
Help, I need somebody! Help, answer >>785!

787 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7204 23:42

Don't worry, help is here! It's the least I can do after stealing your post.
I was touched deeply by your story, >>785-san. The melancholic tone really left an impact. I can sympathise with you easily, and have almost ended up down the same path myself several times. But if I may ask, don't you treasure the experiences? Sure, they may not have been constructive, but they certainally make a grand tale. My advice would be to figure out what it is you want to do for the rest of your life, and once you have discovered that, start planning how you will get there. I wish you luck!

>>788
Your task is to invite a non-DQN friend to the site.

788 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7205 03:46

>>778
Wow, amazing job! You fulfilled my demand better than I could have ever hoped. I think I may have written one of those posts but I'm not sure. My memory is terrible.

>>787
That was pretty embarrassing, but I did it. I really hope he likes it here!

>>789
I demand you write a tanka about your lunch (kind of like a haiku, the syllables are 5-7-5-7-7)

789 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7205 12:53

>>788
A fried chicken and
A cold cucumber untouched.
Wobble of my chair,
Splashes of a hot black tea,
Stained clothes and cries of pain.

>>790
I demand you quickly visualise your current thought in a graphics editor of you choice.

790 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7205 15:41

>>789
http://i.imgur.com/ooPEqgt.png

>>791
I demand that you write a short story loosely based on this picture. It must have a happy ending.

791 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7205 16:12

>>790
Charles was happy at last.
It had been a hard life as a sentient cactus. The desert was too hot, and there was nobody to talk to. The scenery was always the same brown sands, with the occasional visit from a tumbleweed. The humans, however, had it lucky. With their legs, they could walk all over the world, and see many wonderful sights. Charles was jealous of the humans.
But then, it happened.
The rain came, flooding the cities where the humans lived. They all drowned. Charles laughed (or at least, he would've, if he had a mouth).
The End

>>792
I demand you rate my short story.

792 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7205 16:47

>>791
Glorious out of 10. I shed a layer of skin.

>>793
I demand you justify the last choice you made, making specific reference to the size of your genitals.

793 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7205 17:14

>>792
I chose to bring a pen drive full of Touhou games with me to a social occasion. Needless to say, this is because of the surface area of my scrotum.

>>794
I demand that you create a sandwich with at least seven different fillings, name it, eat it and tell us how it was.

795 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7206 04:20

Oh dear, I posted in the wrong thread! To apologize I fulfilled >>793's demand.

Quite luckily the school lunch today was a ham, egg and cheese sandwich with a side salad of pickles, corn, lettuce, carrots and mayo. I just put all the salad onto the sandwich and made what I call the Monstrous Sakata Mayhem! I named it after the principal Sakata who always puts salad on his sandwiches.

It wasn't bad. I'm not a fan of pickles or mayo so combining it with the tastier ham, egg and cheese made the salad much more palatable.

>>796
I demand you open up a folder of pictures you have taken, select 3 at random and upload them for us to see! (You're free to blur out faces and whatnot if they turn out to be personal pictures.)

796 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7206 05:39

>>795
http://i.imgur.com/X70DHgF.jpg

>>797
Take any physical video game you have and make a weird scene with it. Something along the lines of http://i.imgur.com/2YoVVvF.jpg

797 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7206 13:14

>>796
Oh god what am I doing
http://i.imgur.com/9fdjfxK.jpg
In other news, is that a TI-84 I see there? Ah, what memories! I remember having fun trying to get the most interesting error possible on one of those. If I recall, the best I got was from telling it to calculate the integral of a portion of a graph including an asymptote. What fun.

>>798
I demand that you tell me a joke or anecdote involving calculators.

798 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7206 16:07

>>797 Once in Higher Maths the girl who sat in front of me said "hey look at this" and typed 5318008 on it and showed me, and I was like "um okay" but then she turned it upside down and, well, try it yourself! I had a giggle.

>>799 Turn around and put your hands behind your back on the keyboard, and type your whole post like that.

799 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7207 02:31

>>798
I am typing this usi t my nose. It's not too bad, but u am using an ipod kryboarx.

>>800
I demand you yell "800GET" as louf ad you can. And post aby reactions.

800 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7212 09:42

>>799
800 GET.
I totally cheated and waited until I was alone. So I yelled it but the rain just kept on raining and the computer kept on quietly humming and nothing changes which is my problem in the first place.

>>801
I demand you give somebody a present! And tell us what it was! It can be small or big, something you made or something you bought. But it can't be something you were already planning to give away.

801 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7215 23:25

>>800
I noticed earlier today in an email from Steam that the game "The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion" was on sale. I'd been notified because it was in my wishlist. I decided to buy it, but instead of using it myself I gifted it to a friend who is a huge LOTR fan. Hopefully he'll enjoy it.

>>802
I deemed you hurry up and post in this thread! It's almost died several times now.

802 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7215 23:38

>>801
I'm posting! I'm posting!

>>803
I demand that you write an exam style question on any topic, and that you demand that >>804 attempts to answer it.

803 Name: Minister of Uneasy History Questions : 1993-09-7216 08:25

>>802
What role did religions play in relations of Europe and Middle East during the Middle Ages? Compare it to the events of contemporary history.

>>804
Answer this, or you shall face execution by being bored to death with history books. And don't you dare to cheat by secretly opening Wikipedia on your phone! I wrote related articles, and they are all wrong.

804 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7216 23:13

>>803
Disclaimer: I have not studied history in many, many years. Furthermore, as per the demand, I have not looked at Wikipedia or anything like that. Here goes nothing.

During the Middle Ages, Western Europe was almost entirely Christian, whilst the Middle East was mostly Muslim. There was probably a smattering of Judaism in Eastern Europe as well. The crusades, a set of religiously motivated wars between Europe and the Middle East, occurred around this time (I think). There was also the endless and completely pointless conflicts in England over Catholicism and Protestantism. Thus, differences in religion caused conflicts.

In contemporary history, Europe has become more cosmopolitan, with members of many different religions coexisting. Furthermore, atheism is at an all time high, and people's attitudes to, for instance, converting from one religion to another, are extremely lenient when compared to the Middle Ages, showing that religion is not as important as it was. The Middle East is still almost entirely Muslim.

The most notable war involving Europe and the Middle East in modern times is still ongoing, so I'm not sure if it even counts as "history" yet. At any rate, the Middle Eastern side largely claims to be religiously motivated, whereas the European side has no religious aspect whatsoever.

>>805
I demand that you find your nearest living being and lick it.

805 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7217 17:26

>>804
I was going to weasel out of this by licking my arm and writing that it's slightly salty, but then my cat jumped on my knees. So I liked its neck. It had a neutral taste, my mouth is full of fur, and I got a scornful glance in return. The one that cats usually give to overly excited dogs in youtube videos.

>>806
Find a way to write your response and demand whilst being upside down. Describe how you did it and how it felt.

806 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7220 03:21

>>804
I licked my girlfriend after reading this a few days ago but never replied to this thread due to sex.

>>805
I'm lying on a couch writing upside down with my phone. I feel dizzy and silly.

>>807
I demand you revive this thread with a question or advice or both!
http://4-ch.net/love/kareha.pl/1326265053/l50

807 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7220 11:47

>>806
I did my best addressing DQN-kun. Hopefully my dream will eventually come true.

>>808
Launch the first graphics editor you find on your computer, draw a cat (if you aren't in a hurry colour it), post it on the web and link it here.

808 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7220 23:41

>>807
http://i.imgur.com/mlOqfPc.png
Let it be known, I am not an artist. Also, although I'm not exactly in a hurry, I am severely colourblind, hence the lack of colour.

>>809
I demand that you find a written account of somebody's dream (try here or here) and psychoanalyse it, Freudian style.

809 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7251 16:11

For SAoVQ's >>280, the rabbits are a symbol of promiscuity and fertility. >>280 has a lot of pent-up sexual energy but deep in his heart of hearts, >>280 knows the cold earth will soak up all of that sexual energy when >>280 grows old and dies, buried with his virginity.

>>810 I demand that you get this party started

810 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7252 04:25

>>809
No problem. Dims the lights, puts on dance music
Everybody, cheers! Distributes tequila shots
Now that we're all a bit tipsy, lets make this party even more interesting...>>811, I dare you to make out with >>812!

811 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7252 06:28

>>810
I-IAM RDY 2 MAEKS OUR DREAMS COAM TRU *hic* WHENEVEAR YUO ARE, >>812-CCCCCCHAAN http://i.imgur.com/5TBNxau.png

>>812
I demand you select and post the most mind-blowing party music you can find. No exceptions.

813 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7252 14:51

>>812
i don't think any of these (except maybe for the first one) are really suitable for a party other than a BOOM BOOM RAVE BOOM BOOM BOOM DRUGS LOL BOOM BOOM BOOM
i particurlarly liked strawberry lemonade and rescue me

>>814
link a picture of yourself doing weird things (you may black your face out if you don't trust DQN (hint: you shouldn't (LOL PAREN NESTING)))

814 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7253 05:29

>>814
Ignore >>813

815 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7253 17:54

Done and done!

>>816 Wear two different flavours of deodorant at the same time, every day for a week.

816 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7254 03:44

>>815
I'm starting your mission tomorrow. "Moonlight Mystery" and "DQN@Nite," left and right armpit respectively.

>>817
Imagine the most beautiful world possible, and tell me all about it.

817 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7254 05:45

>>816
That implies an objective measure of beauty, but beauty is in the eye of the DQN. I find a wide variety of things beautiful, from abstract geometric cityscapes (http://cargocollective.com/atelierolschinsky/STRUCTURES-V) to glacier volcanoes (http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2733/4490423858_98cba8bf85_z.jpg). It depends on my mood. Other people, I'm sure, have their own ideas.

So, I think the most beautiful world is one where we would live as consciousnesses in a vast net with the possibility to create and inhabit any possible world. A world made by and for artists. You could visit the abstract world of Dali until you grew tired of the melting clocks and moved to a peaceful mountain meadow populated by lesbian catgirls. Of course there's the problem of beauty unable to truly shine without ugliness for comparison, so there would be a small handful of malicious denizens that found beauty in trolling, spreading guro and goatse around people's idyllic pastures.

>>818
Imagine the ugliest world possible, and tell me all about it.

818 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7254 17:35

>>817
Your world sounds a little like the Metamorphosis of Prime Intelligence. If you haven't already, give it a read.

My ugliest world is a sand field. The sand is dirty. You can barely see the surface of the ground because it's covered in rotting wood and rusted metal. The only lodging is trailers, and the trailers are dusty and filled with spiders. They're filled with coupons from 1998 and empty bottles of Gatorade. The only work is lifting and rearranging to rotting wood and rusted metal. It smells like dust everywhere. The only entertainment is MTV.

>>819
Take a thousand dollars out of your bank account and spend it on a fancy watch.

819 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7255 13:42

>>818
I don't have any dollars in my bank account, only pounds sterling!

>>820
I demand that you show us all something beautiful you've built in Minecraft.

820 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7263 19:31

>>815
I'm not >>816, but I completed your demand while I was on holiday this week.

>>821
I demand you fulfil >>819's request!

821 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7263 23:55

>>819
http://minecraft.net/classic/list
Choose solidus server deaths, it's my server I built it from a poweredge 4600 and a dimension 5000

>>821
Set up a proper network of virtual machines to represent an internet: RNS, DNS, router, client, server, and NSA logging machine.

822 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7278 10:20

>>821
Well gosh, that's a rather difficult demand to set yourself. Good luck with that one.

>>823
I demand that you choose my new desktop background.

823 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7278 10:42

>>822

http://i.imgur.com/qs2AFrV.jpg

>>824

I demand that you find me an interesting and relatively obscure website to look at

824 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7278 10:58

>>823
http://www.ibiblio.org/lifepatterns/

>>825
I demand that you edit a Wikipedia article, somehow including the word "superstructure". Bonus points if it's an actually helpful edit.

825 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7487 14:46

826 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7487 16:18

>>825
Too loud.
>>827
Excrete!

827 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7487 16:44

>>826
Done!

>>828
Treat a girl/boy you have a crush on as if they were a dirty toilet. Report your results.

828 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7487 19:54

>>827
I tried to say something disparaging to my beloved waifu but just made myself unhappy. Terrible idea; would not recommend further.

>>829
I demand that you come up with as many uses as you can for a paperclip.

829 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7488 02:30

>>828
Non-usable battery
Hold paper together
Apocalyptic future currency
Staple
Religious Idol
Pipe Cleaner
Dinner
Staircase
Catalyst
Form of communication
Spring
Assistant

>>830
I demand you post a picture of you using a paperclip in one of these ways.

830 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7533 23:39

>>829
DQN paperclip dinner.jpg
It's MS paint quality!

>>831
I demand that you solve this jigsaw (change cut -> 100 piece classic) as fast as you can and post how long it took you. See if you can beat my time of 7:22!

831 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7534 00:17

>>830
5:16

>>832
I demand that you bow to a picture of SpongeBob.

832 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7537 16:27

>>831
I may bow before your false idol just this once, but my true god will always be Armok, God of Blood!

>>833
I demand that you download this file, but don't open it; just leave on your hard drive until you forget what it is and when or why you downloaded it.

833 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7538 13:23

>>832
I've downloaded it and shall try to forget it as soon as possible.

>>834
I demand you listen to the entirety of I Am Sitting in a Room by Alvin Lucier and tell me what you think.

834 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7538 17:51

>>833
Hmm. Made me glad I don't have a stutter. The way the speech got more and more distorted was rather interesting, and the sound towards the end was oddly soothing. Not sure I'd listen to it twice, though.

>>835
I demand that you post the last ten entries in your browser history.

835 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7538 18:46

>>834
22:42 The Elitist Superstructure of DQN @ 4-ch
4-ch.net
22:38 GUNSHOW ARCHIVE
gunshowcomic.com
22:38 Gunshow - Dogs Rule
gunshowcomic.com
22:38 Gunshow - Cool Frog and Dolphin
gunshowcomic.com
22:37 don't get mad at video games - Google Search
encrypted.google.com
22:37 Cheap Arduino Module kits & Single-Chip Microcomputer Diy Supplies for Sale - DX
www.dx.com
22:09 Monotora - Battlelog / Battlefield 4
battlelog.battlefield.com
22:09 2835825_570_321.jpg (570×321)
sverigesradio.se
22:08 Battlelog / Battlefield 4
battlelog.battlefield.com
22:08 Welcome - Nectarine Demoscene Radio
www.scenemusic.net

>>835
I demand that you show us what is in your drawer.

836 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7539 18:02

837 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7540 09:14

>>836
Another day, another dance, another dead guy. I cantered about the stage, twirling an elegant fan. The small audience cared not for these aesthetic trappings.

"Just get him out here already!" a burly man shouted.

"Quiet, it's only going to take longer if you interrupt her," his smaller man bespectacled companion whispered angrily. I nodded silently. I was as bored as they were, but if I didn't do the dance right, nothing would happen.

After a few more minutes of whirling about, I finally felt the heaving in my chest. I froze and dropped my fan, then my whole body slumped down like a puppet. Somebody else raised my head back up.

"Who summons me?" a deep voice demanded through my mouth.

"Tell us where the money is!" the burly man shouted, "or we'll kill your family!"

"You dare disturb the afterlife to make empty threats?!" I boomed in a terrifyingly deep voice. "The idle matters of the living mean nothing to me."

The smaller companion with glasses was unimpressed. He stepped forward to speak.

"Come on, Kenta. If it means nothing to you, why don't you just tell us what you did with the money? Then we can all rest in peace. Ha."

"You fool, money is as meaningless as life itself! Why should I remember such an insignificant detail?" I shouted back.

"I was afraid it might come to this," Glasses sighed. He snapped his fingers. Two grunts jumped forward. Before I could react they had pounced on me. They pinned me to thr ground and tied my hands and legs together.

"These are soul-binding ropes, Kenta," Glasses said, pacing evilly around my helpless body. "You can't leave this poor little miko's body until I untie her. And everything she feels, you will feel. Gongon? The knife?"

The burly guy stepped forward with an evil grin. He took out a knife and licked his lips.

"Hey dead guy," I whispered inside my own head, "leave this to me." I began rapidly chanting a ritual under my breath. The wretched gangster was getting closer. I concentrated as hard as a I could and finished the spell just as he was about to slice apart my expensive hakama. Suddenly I was engulfed in holy flames. The fire exploded outwards, burning the ropes and blasting the gangsters to the ground. I took advantage of the confusion to make a mad dash for the mountains.

After running long enough to be sure they hadn't followed me, I stopped to catch my breath.

"Phew, that was a close one," I said. "I should have known not to take a possession request from the yakuza. But they paid me so well!"

"I thought maidens were above material needs," chided Kenta, the dead man in my body. I blushed at suddenly feeling my mouth move on its own.

"Hey! You don't need to talk with my mouth, just speak to me in my head!" I scolded.

"Like it or not, we're sharing this body now," Kenta said back, still using my mouth. "Since you burned the soulbinding ropes with holy fire, we're stuck together."

"EHHHHHH!??!?" my cry of shock pierced the forest. The camera sharply panned out, and a flock of birds flew out of the trees.

"Be quiet, they'll find us!" Kenta said through me.

"You're the one using my mouth still!"

"I know, it just feels too weird...too intimate," he said, blushing.

"You didn't seem so shy when you were in scary-ghost mode!"

"Yeah, well, I was fresh out of the afterlife. Now that I've spent a few minutes inside a mortal, my old personality is returning," Kenta explained.

"Well anyway, I can't live like this!" I exclaimed. "Now hurry up and get out of my body! Out out out! Come on!"

"I wish I could! Isn't there a dance or something you can do?"

"I haven't learned such a high-level dance!" I protested. "I usually just do quick 1-minute possessions so I can help the departed's family have peace of mind...and make a bit of cash!"

"Well, you better learn how to get us apart before we have to take a bath together. Ha ha!" Kenta joked. I blushed furiously and slapped myself in the cheek.

"Stupid pervert!" I shouted. "OUCH!" we cried together.

(1/2)

838 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7540 09:15

After an hour of hiking, we came to a long stone staircase that led to a magnificent shrine.

"This is Rakuhei Shrine," I said, as we climbed the steps. "My friend Haruka Rakuhei lives here. She's a really good miko. She taught me that fire spell for self-protection! I'm sure she'll know a way out of this predicament."

We stepped through the torii gate at the top, and Haruka came running out of the main shrine to meet me. She was stunningly beautiful as usual.

"Oh Kanae, I'm so glad you're safe!" she said, embracing me. "I sensed the fire spell earlier. What happened?"

"Er...hi, I guess," Kenta said through my voice. "Nice to meet you, I'm Takahiro Kenta. I got mixed up in some...uh...nasty business, and ended up dead..."

"Some yakuza made me summon this pervert," I interrupted, "and now he's stuck in my body! Hurry up and get him out already!"

Haruka just laughed.

"Nice to meet you, Kenta. How does it feel to be in such a sexy young body?"

We blushed a deep crimson red. "Haruka! Don't say such weird things!"

---

"Once two souls have been bound together by cursed rope, the only way to separate them is by untying or cutting the rope," Haruka said, reading from an ancient scroll. We were sitting on the floor of the shrine library. "But this doesn't say anything about burning it with holy fire."

"How are we supposed to untie the rope when it's gone!" I demanded.

"Hold on. This next scroll mentions an emergency ritual for splitting two souls. But it can only be performed with a special fan from Gentokyo."

"Gentokyo? But isn't that where the yokai live?"

"Yep!" Haruka seemed way too excited.

"But that's dangerous! We'll be eaten!"

"Haha, don't worry! Kenta will be with you," Haruka teased.

"H-hey, I don't know how to fight Yokai, I'm just a ghost!" Kenta protested.

"So it's decided, we'll leave for Gentokyo first thing tomorrow morning!" Haruka said cheerfully.

"You're not listening!!" Kenta and I chorused together.

---
to be continued?

>>839
I demand you write a short fan fiction about my short story.

839 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7540 14:21

>>838
"Forgot something?" asked Reimu.
"I wish!" replied Kenta.

>>840
I demand you to give an A+ review to my short fanfic and also mention which part you liked the most.

840 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7540 18:01

>>839
A+. Reading this fanfic was a truly profound, life changing experience, on a par with a native American spirit journey or taking LSD. The text conveys its message with startling precision and insight, concisely and unpretentiously, without obfuscatory language. The short length leaves the reader with a sense of wonder at what goes unsaid - the author may directly ask only one question, but the reader is left with countless more. Ultimately, the text is a demonstration of Absurdist philosophy, challenging the idea that a story must have a moral, point, or meaning at all. This idea, that the author need not pander to the reader's every vagary, is sure to usher in a new age of literature. My favourite part is the crippling sense of existential dread the reader is left with after reading.

>>841
I demand that you spend at least ten minutes reading about a topic you know absolutely nothing about and post what you learned.

841 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7564 20:17

>>840
I chose the wikipedia article on phylogenetics. It looks like phylogenetics is a discipline more or less defined by the use of relatively complicated math to study the evolutionary tree of life. Supposedly there's Bayesian inference and stuff. The NSF funds a lot of this. There's a specific (ongoing) project devoted to just red algae, called RedToL. There's a big sequence database called GenBank, run by the National Center for Biotechnology Information, part of the NIH. Also, taxonomy is somewhat distinct from modern phylogenetics. Cladistics is a branch of taxonomy trying to bring taxonomy into line with phylogenetics, and phenetics is a branch of taxonomy that ignores phylogenetics entirely. It looks like phenetics is on the way out, although neighbour joining is still relevant.

>>842
I demand that you shave your legs and describe how it makes you feel.

842 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7595 15:09

>>841
It made me feel very tanasinn.

>>843
I demand you bump a thread that has been inactive for more than a year.

843 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7595 15:40

>>842
Done! http://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1288889234/52

>>844
I demand you message "I love you" to the next person who contacts you via email, IM, or text.

844 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7595 19:42

>>843
I love you.

>>845
I demand that you install a PGP email client and post your public key here.

845 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8035 22:04

>>844
Have the key to my heart instead.

>>846
My demand: list your favourite alcoholic drink!

846 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8035 23:06

>>845

  • Buckfast!

>>847 I demand you tell us where you were on September 7595th at 19:42!

847 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8036 10:40

>>846
Probably in front of this very computer, thinking about making a start on writing that night's update.

>>848
I demand that you post something cute and heartwarming.

848 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8394 19:00

>>847
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GKxarMc1_Kk
Isn't she sweet?

>>849
I demand that you bump at least one high quality old thread that you think deserves it.

849 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8478 04:02

>>848
Bumping this one!

>>850
I demand you link to an interesting website that is unknown to most DQNs.

850 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8478 12:21

>>849
https://qntm.org/destroy

>>851
I demand that you start a new DQN mad lib thread!

851 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8881 14:27

>>850
http://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1514125464/

>>852
I demand that you list every present you receive for Christmas and give each of them marks out of ten.

852 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8883 19:28

>>851

  1. set of borosilicate baking dishes - 8/10
  2. large stainless steel cooking pot - 9/10, before receiving this I was making pastas and soups and such in my rice cooker because I didn't have one
  3. bottle of Jim Beam whiskey - 8/10, the thought behind it was 10/10, the taste is 6/10. I love whiskey but Jim Beam is meh. Still though, free liquor.
  4. Various winter clothing; socks, sweatpants, gloves, sweatshirts - 6/10, boring but practical. All of it fits well and is warm and comfortable.

Overall average: 7.75/10

>>853
I demand that you post something interesting in the /img/ image sharing thread.

853 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8885 23:10

>>852
I hope that you find this to be sufficiently interesting.

>>854
I demand to know something that you have never told anyone.

854 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8887 06:59

I used to be in a noise band

855 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8890 20:34

>>854
Cool.

>>856
I demand that you post while something is inserted into your anus, and describe the sensation to us in detail.

856 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8895 18:26

>>855
I'm not posting with it in my ass because it became too uncomfortable, so I'll describe it from recent memory. It was slightly arousing to say the least and not a feeling I've felt before. Anyway, there's only so much you can say about such a thing.

>>857
I demand you make a throwaway account on a random forum, make a completely off topic thread and post the results here
however esoteric or weird is up to you

857 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-8895 21:30

>>856
Hurry before it's deleted
https://www.bbq-brethren.com/forum/showthread.php?p=3929521#post3929521

>>858
I demand that you give me an interesting topic to research in depth.

858 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8896 19:23

>>857
eproctophilia

>>859
I demand you read >>857's research without laughing.

859 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8899 04:10

>>858
Well, I wasn't able to read >>857's research on eproctophilia because he or she hasn't posted it yet (as far as I know.) However, I did read >>857's thread on BBQ Brethren. This was more difficult than I expected as I had to make an account and wait a few days to get approved just to read it.

>>857's thread and subsequent responses was mildly humorous but I read it all without laughing, so I'll consider that demand fulfilled.

>>860
I demand you post at least 100 times in the thread "[COUNTDOWN] >>900 ON THE 9000TH DAY OF THIS GLORIOUS MONTH".

860 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9016 21:35

>>859
Done!

>>861
I demand that you find me an interesting and enjoyable text adventure.

861 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9016 23:07

>>860
One of my favorite text adventures is Slouching Towards Bedlam (http://ifdb.tads.org/viewgame?id=032krqe6bjn5au78) but you might already know about that. I also recently enjoyed A Dark Room (http://adarkroom.doublespeakgames.com).
A slightly more obscure text adventure that I highly recommend is Mastaba Snoopy (https://debacle.us/mastabasnoopy/). Oh, and Tower of the Blood Lord is pretty good too. (http://correlatedcontents.com/misc/Tower.html)

>>862
I demand you play one or more of the above games and write a short review here.

862 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9410 04:35

>>861
Mastaba Snoopy is both hilarious and horrifying. It is a clever amalgamation of weird Lovecraftian body horror and Snoopy.

If you think about it, the formula is not that difficult, and one that has been executed many times: take an innocent pop culture product which is overly mass-marketed (Snoopy, Garfield, Shrek, Minions, etc.) and transform it in a strange and horrifying manner.

Even if this concept is not exactly original, Mastaba Snoopy does a pretty good job of execution. One complaint is that the introduction is unnecessary, rather than providing an explanation for this Peanuts hell-world, I wish the game would just drop you into it without any explanation.

However, besides the lame introduction Mastaba Snoopy has pretty solid and entertaining writing. It is neither overbearing nor underbearing -- it is long enough to entertain but doesn't overstay its welcome. I think Twine is a great format for this style of writing, as the labyrinthine dialogue trees match the twisty maze of the Snoopy hell world. I'd love to see more text adventures like it.

Overall I'd rate Mastaba Snoopy 4 out of 5 Peppermint Patties.

>>863
I demand you post a screenshot of your bookmarks folder.

863 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9695 23:03

>>862
https://i.imgur.com/i543t6W.jpg
I hope this is satisfactory.

>>864
I demand you find me some interesting older threads to read through!

865 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9696 19:29

>>864 It's John, but I tell people it's John Jock Pterodactyl

>>866 I demand you be a bit more optimistic for the future!

866 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9696 20:04

>>865
I guess maybe things are going to be okay in the end.

>>867
I demand that you tell me something you love about yourself.

867 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9817 11:45

>>866
I love the colour of my eyes, they're a beautiful light blue with little hints of green.

>>868
I demand that you record yourself singing a nursery rhyme of your choice and link it here.

868 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10010 14:42

>>867 I sang >>75's nursery rhyme with my glockenspiel in a church https://www.mediafire.com/file/6f7f0gnkdh5g6uw/Praise_The_Apple.mp3/file

>>868 I demand that you send a cheerful message to a friend you haven't spoke to in a while.

869 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10103 18:14

>>868
Sent (at least I think it was cheerful), and got a nice conversation out of it.

>>870
I demand that you cook that dish you've been meaning to try out and upload photographic evidence (to the imageboard or somewhere else, then link it here).

870 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10370 17:22

>>869 Oh yeah I did this the other day and forgot to tell you https://4-ch.net/img/res/1723.html#2886

>>871 Now you have to tell us a good joke.

871 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10370 17:27

>>870 A wee boy and his dad are in the bath.
The boy goes “Dad what do you call this bit?” and points at his earlobes
Dad replied "They call that your earlobe cos it's the lobe on your ear!"
The boy points at his eyelashes and blinks a few times and says “Dad what are these called?”
Dad said "They call them your eyelashes cos they're the lashes on your eye!"
The boy points at his belly button and says “Dad what do you call this bit?”
Dad said "They call that your belly button cos it's the button on your belly!"
The boy said "hmmm" went to push his belly button…
Dad went "NOOOOO!" and lunged towards him…
But he was too late… the boy exploded

>>872 I demand you stick your finger in your belly button and give it a proper good wiggle

872 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10370 19:25

>>871 I did this a couple months ago, it led to a rather nasty infection!
Doing it again reminds me that said infection never really fully went away!

>>873 I demand you compose for me a comforting song to rid me of my (possibly belly button related) woes!

873 Name: (´<_`  ) : 1993-09-10832 19:18

>>872
Unfortunately I can't help you with that (maybe some other kind soul will compose something for you, or maybe I'll remember it in a few years), but I can give you a zip file of all the imgur uploads in this thread, in light of the fact that imgur is planning to remove old anonymous uploads: https://files.catbox.moe/ieakgq.zip

>>874
I demand an interesting thread idea!

874 Name: (´<_`  ) : 1993-09-10832 20:14

>>873
A thread where everybody confesses their most depraved sexual fetishes.

>>875
I demand that you confess your most depraved sexual fetish.

875 Name: (´<_`  ) : 1993-09-10835 12:23

>>874 Maybe licking her period blood, chewing her used tampons, that kind of thing, but I've told you that a few times here

>>876 I demand you find the earliest mention of my fetish on /dqn/

876 Name: (´<_`  ) : 1993-09-10835 14:39

>>875
Here's the earliest I could find: >>/539.

>>877
I demand that you make ten posts in ten threads in the space of ten minutes.

877 This post sucked.

878 Name: (´<_`  ) : 1993-09-10845 17:32

>>877
……

I demand >>879 recommends me a niche porn genre nobody knows

879 Name: (´<_`  ) : 1993-09-10845 20:02

>>878
SCUBA. Look it up on Clips4Sale. Uvula and wristwatch porn are also available on that fine website

I demand >>880 find post the worst thumbnail from their youtube recommendations

880 Name: (´<_`  ) : 1993-09-10846 06:54

>>879
Maybe not the worst but perhaps the most "cringe":
https://files.catbox.moe/988duo.PNG

This one is pretty bad:
https://files.catbox.moe/f47yw5.PNG

I demand that >>881 post the thumbnail from their youtube recommendations which has the smallest view count.

881 Name: (´<_`  ) : 1993-09-10846 08:21

882 Name: (´<_`  ) : 1993-09-10846 08:33

>>881
Sweetheart (17)
you're the mom friend, which is great because everyone needs one. speaking of, can you come over this weekend? in all seriousness, though, don't be afraid to have your own fun sometimes, too.

>>883
I demand to see the most worthless coin or investment you got.

883 This post sucked.

884 Name: (´<_`  ) : 1993-09-10863 17:52

>>882
I have 10 dollars and a bottle of snapple

>>885
I demand you give me Meryl's number

885 Name: (´<_`  ) : 1993-09-10865 12:29

>>884
140.15

>>886
I demand to know your results on this test: https://bdsmtest.org/

886 Name: (´<_`  ) : 1993-09-10866 12:08

>>885
http://bdsmtest.org/r/PDGJagKz
Half the questions imply I have any experience in the bedroom or with a partner so most of my answers were neutral. Sorry for ruining your fun. (I'm not actually sorry)

>>887
I demand you shuffle up a TCG deck and tell me what you topdeck.

887 Name: (´<_`  ) : 1993-09-10866 15:57

>>886 I got this one https://www.tcgplayer.com/product/84909/pokemon-wotc-promo-dragonite-movie-promo?Language=English

>>888 I demand you do a headstand against a wall for as long as you can and tell us how long you were upside down for

888 Name: (´<_`  ) : 1993-09-10868 01:26

>>887
Long enough to almost pass out

>>890 I demand you recommend me an anime from 1996

889 Name: (´<_`  ) : 1993-09-10868 10:10

>>888
The best anime of 1996, without any doubt, is Evangelion. Not only is the plot amazing, it delivers important themes about society and has a lot of symbols about religion. Pisses me off that people don't understand how beautiful this anime is and I just want to punch them in the face.

>>890 I demand you recommend >>888 an anime from 1996

890 Name: (´<_`  ) : 1993-09-10868 11:38

>>888
I think you should watch Famous Dog Lassie. I've never seen it and have no idea if it's any good or not, but I've heard good things about World Masterpiece Theater anime and 1996 didn't have a whole let else going on that I could see.

>>891
I demand you recommend me an anime from between 2000 and 2005.

891 Name: (´<_`  ) : 1993-09-10868 17:58

>>890
Mujin Wakusei Survive is great if you enjoy survival stories. It's about a bunch of kids from the future that get marooned on an Earth like planet.

>>892
I demand the URL to a Japanese link collection from 1998.

892 Name: (´<_`  ) : 1993-09-10873 11:37

>>891
https://www.nintendo.co.jp/n01/n64/software/zelda/
I'm afraid it only has one Link, but it is from 1998!

>>893
I demand you tell me about your most beloved childhood stuffed toy (and maybe even post a picture).

893 Name: (´<_`  ) : 1993-09-10875 15:49

>>892 Starting from before I was forming coherent memories, I carried around a teddy bear which was, for some reason, orange, with brown footpads, muzzle, and inside of ears. I called it "Cheesebear". For a time, I was quite obsessed with Calvin & Hobbes, though it was not in our newspaper and instead I simply read it out of anthologies of it we had on our living room boomshelf, and I imagined Cheesebear in much the same way as Calvin imagined Hobbes. I still have it, sitting in my attic, overlooking the stairs, but I'm not home at the moment and cannot snap a picture.

>>894 I demand that you draw your favorite non-dinosaur fossil creature. A simple MSpaint doodle with your mouse will do; don't worry about it looking particularly good.

894 Name: (´<_`  ) : 1993-09-10878 14:29

>>893
https://4-ch.net/img/src/1686666508463.png
I have nothing but love for my girl hallucigenia. What an absolute freak.

>>895
Fuck, marry, kill: Beady Eyes, Clonepa, Grandpa. I demand your answer with full reasoning.

895 Name: mesr : 1993-09-11025 03:33

I scored 83, I thought I was a bad guy, but I checked only 23 statements out of 100 so there is a problem with the scoring. For double sure I checked this and got 23 means I am pure https://drdeenz.com/rice-purity-test/

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