>>67
Who are you to tell me how I'm feeling? How 'bout you show me your credentials. ;)
BURN HIS HOUSE DOWN AND HANG THAT MINISTER OF MOODS! HE WASTED MILLIONS ON HIS MOODS! HANG HIM IMMEDIATELY!!
Shhh
DISREGARD THAT MINISTER, BE UNQUIET.
The Angry Police Captain has been shot!
No, let's make weird Portal 2 co-op maps!
Why? This is clearly a conspiracy to attack the unholy citadel, they have not really done anything to us. Also since they are not Elitists and instead simply have eternity on our side time does not pass there so we would never be able to return.
>>75
Oh, we will just slaughter them all and build DQN anew. It would be even more Elitist.
>>76
But the unholy citadel is nearly the same as DQN, but dead. It's where dead DQN go.
BawbAWWWK! Brawk bawk bok bok bok baBRARARKKRAUCK!
*The Ministers were clowning around as if we were in a three ring murder circus. A minister for every animal, mineral, and vegetable. Something about that Minister of Murder struck me the wrong way. He was as shady as a palm tree on a tropical island. He seemed like the only one able to keep quiet in this madhouse.
What's my stake in this case? A personal connection with the victim? A sense of moral obligation? A penchant for solving crimes? No. Self interest. If I didn't solve this case my career would be as dead as the Grandpa.*
It looks like there's a note in >>0's coat pocket. It seems to be a romantic letter.
It's a lie! >>0 never existed in the first place! It's all a big government cover up!
What are you fools doing? Did anybody ever get those bagels? Has anybody called the Minister of Ministries in here to sort out the other demands?
Since the answer to all those questions is 'no' I'm guessing our ministry forgot to release the decoded message in >>52 to the public. Well, here it is:
"Nice job decoding, it seems that at least one ministry can do their job correctly.
Anyway, yes I killed >>0. And I will kill again. >>89. I will kill >>89, and there is nothing you can do to stop it.
However if:
You have not decoded this by >>75, I WILL kill more. I MAY even decide to kill more if you HAVE decoded it by >>75! That's how much of a psycho I am!
Anyway, if you want to stop me from killing altogether (Except >>89. >>89 is good as dead already), I have a few demands that need to be met. Deliver these demands to the Minster of Ministries.
You have been warned,
Murderer of >>0"
Hello, >>81, there's no need to stress out. All is not quite lost. For the ministry of decoding it seems you're completely helpless when it comes to decoding chicken, or else you would have known that >>78 said,
"Hello sirs and madams, I brought the bagels and cream cheese you asked for. I hope that the murderer finds it quite to her or his satisfcation."
>>82
How do I know you're not just making all this up!
I have received a report from the assassins that I send after >>0's murderer. They inform me that they followed their trail to the tunnel network that connects the Superstructure with the Unholy Citadel. It seems that the murderer may have entered the Citadel...
I don't know about the authenticity of the message that >>81 decoded, but I'm sure that >>89's death has been avoided, for now.
Just dropping in.
>>83
Don't worry, I'm sure he's telling the truth.
I'm not the murderer, I was just passing by.
Well, this is going to be bad for business.
I'll bet he fled to the [CYOA] threads >>37, we will catch him there!
Have you still not caught him?
Whaaaaaaa
>>97
You are... Oh, OMG, this is so amusing! You are a MOP!
It was actually a seditious minister trying to goad war with the unholy citadel so he could use his ties with an arms company to profit from the war.
>>100
I would never do such a thing, and I can't stand the thought of living under a government that would accuse me of such! Let's burn down the capital and throw out those bums in charge!
I'll pack the powder!
VIVA LA REVOLUTION!
OBLITERATE THE CABAL!
NEW THREAD!
Now that the ministers are all gone, let's get back to finding out who the murderer is!
Where did they go?
Secret anti-government meeting place
WHAT! HOW DARE ARE YOU TO LEAVE WITHOUT MY PERMISSION?!
EVERYONE, GO TO THE DUNGEON! MINISTER OF REPEATING TELL OTHER MINISTERS TO GO TO THE DUNGEON!!
Sorry, toots, I'm the minister of causeless rebelling now. I'm gonna ride into the sunset.
Why do I have to deal with all of those people?
I do not think that we are meant by the history to survive.
We do not need queens. We do not need dungeons.
Let us find the murderer and murder him. Then shall we keep
murdering, for the end of the humankind is inevitable.
― At ease, ministers. Name's Pooply, detective. I see you got yourself a bunch of stiffs and nobody to solve the crime.
With these words a coated man looking exactly like Harrison Ford in Blade Runner entered the room. Clearly he was a bitter cop, unknown to pleasures of everyday life, a man who long abandoned his dreams.
Pooply here appears to be narrating current events.
Detective Pooply demanded, "So, where is the first victim? Lead me to the crime scene. I will catch that rascal in no time!"
Ministers just stood there, surprised and speechless because of Pooply's narrative.
"Come on, you lazy slobs!" detective Pooply urged them, "Crime won't solve itself. I will solve it."
This just in! I'm reporting from the scene of the crime, and it appears police have just found a new piece of evidence. It's...it's a fairly nice shirt!!
It's not mine, all my shirts are fairly bad.
| \
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|⊂ It is my duty to dance now.
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ヽ(´Д`;)ノ RANTA TAN
( へ) RANTA RANTA
く TAN
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ヽ(;´Д`)ノ RANTA TAN
(へ ) RANTA TANTA
> TAN
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