You turn around in search of your unlikely saviour. Two men, both wearing jetpacks, have just landed a little to your east. One, unfamiliar to you, is wearing a dark greyish suit, and has some bizarre mechanical implants in his eye and right hand. The other is that delusional fellow who thinks he's your father, and he is wielding an odd white implement, about the size of your forearm, with two long metal protrusions from one end. Smoke is rising from the tip.

They stand back to back. "I'm Aaron," says one, "And I'm Alexei," says the other, then, both together, "And we're here to perform for you Be a Big Fat Butt!" And then, to your utter disbelief, they begin to sing.

Declare a song thread and link quotes to a number of future posts
La La La La La La Zingen Zingen Kleine Vlinders
La La La La La La Zingen Vlinders La La
Beware the long head of pink goats which doth slumber in cute fur-ghosts
Pontificate on an esoteric topic.

As they come to the chorus, they begin to dance - some sort of bizarre fusion of Morris dancing and Russian folk dancing. You stare on, unable to look away.

Change your name to Zoosmell Pooplord
It's time to gamble, time to call Lady Luck
Then while she's distracted punch that cunt in her fuck

Alexei enthusiastically punches the air with his robotic hand to demonstrate, then plucks a harmonica from his back pocket and begins to play it. Aaron, meanwhile, points his odd electric weapon in the air and plays it like a theremin. Their rousing instrumental solo beautifully segues into the second verse.

Time to return to camp hooray!
Pompously place 2 points into pontification posthaste
Escape from reality
Invite your new undead friends to start a grimdark black metal band with you

After two more increasingly passionate repetitions of the chorus, they finish, each kneeling on one knee in opposite directions, accompanied by vigorous jazz hands, and singing at the top of their lungs, "Mumble unintelligibly about the jews!" There are a few seconds of complete, perfect silence, followed by a shower of applause from Ariadne, amidst cries of "Encore! Encore!"

>>400
Was that last line directed to you? You'd better obey just to be on the safe side. "Rhubarb rhubarb the Jews are rhubarb rhubarb rhubarb," you mutter under your breath.

>>401
Ariadne rushes over to her foster father and embraces him, breathlessly expounding how glad she is to see him alive, thanking him for saving the two of you, and praising his musical talents. You, meanwhile, narrow your eyes at Alexei and demand an apology for that atrocious crime against human culture. You make it clear that nothing short of a large glass of fruit juice will do by way of reparations. He looks crestfallen.

>>402
And that Aaron shouldn't think he's exempt. You mock him, even going so far as to intentionally mistake his name, telling him you saw - and heard - what he did, and that it was terrible and he should be ashamed of himself.

Aaron feigns ignorance and briskly changes the topic. "I'm afraid we can't stick around. The effect of my little friend here won't last forever," sure enough, looking around, some of the larger body parts are beginning to spasm back into motion, "And us two need to get back to the Control Tower. We can give you a ride to somewhere nearby, but we need most of the jetpack charge to get over the ridge into the next valley. So, where shall we take you young ladies?"