Lets write an academic paper [Research] (57)

1 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9172 01:03

Lets write a DQN Quality paper.

>>7 Title
>>16 Subtitle
>>11-15 Authors
>>6 Institution
>>2 Publishing journal
>>3-5 Indexing keywords
>>8-10 Abstract
>>17-23 Introduction
>>24-30,31-40,41-50 Body paragraphs
>>50-55 Figures, equations, etc.
>>55-60 Concluding paragraph
>>60-65 Refrences

2 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9172 01:58

Modern Aviation and Sexology Daily

3 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9172 04:38

Compressible flow, Von Kármán nose cone, Tarragon, Cowper's gland

4 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9172 08:07

Benis

5 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9172 08:41

Japan, Parahistory, Censorship

6 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9172 12:43

Saitama Institute of Technology

7 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9172 19:48

The Effects of Astronomical Bodies on Imouto's Local Solutions to Rankine–Hugoniot Equations.

8 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9173 08:41

We herein present a proof of the existence and smoothness of the Navier-Stokes equations via a new method of manipulating Calabi-Yau manifolds, which in turn leads us to a disproof by contradiction of the Collatz conjecture; four separate, independent proofs of the Jacobian conjecture; a complete decipherment of Linear A; a method of determining whether or not a book is worth reading based on its cover alone; and an entire new field of mathematics which we hereby name "Weird Calculus".

9 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9175 01:19

We completely and utterly fail to present any convincing arguments, but at least there's some nice text art.

10 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9175 10:29

We make no attempt to clarify anything in the field. Astute readers may notice the complete lack of content and coherence in this paper.

11 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9175 11:16

Punctual Gomez

12 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9175 11:16

Punctual Gomez

13 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9175 11:24

Tiddles the cat

14 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9175 12:59

Paul Erdős

15 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9175 14:06

Punctual Gomez

16 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9175 15:08

( ಠ益ಠ)

17 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9175 15:57

GENTLEMEN, BEHOLD!

18 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9175 16:30

Your feeble minds may not want to confront the truths offered in this paper. You may instinctively consider it "bullshit," "racist," or even ""incoherent gibberish."" But we urge you to keep an open mind. The secrets contained in this paper have the potential to recalibrate your life, if not all of post-industrial society.

19 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9175 18:42

The first section (pages 4 through 309) details the efforts undertaken in order to achieve a high score in the popular video game for the PlayStation games console, Pepsiman.

20 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9176 07:01

The second is aimed at answering a question that has plagued physicists for decades: how come He-man don't want me, man?

21 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9176 08:52

There are also 19 scat jokes hidden on every page, try to find them all!

22 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9176 10:50

If you get bored, the back pages (appendix 3) contains a word search, dot-to-dot, and a completely accurate tax return to fill in

23 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9176 11:39

Please direct any questions, comments, or complaints to:
Aima Bigge Phatbutte, Esq.
420 Blazing Dr.
Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapikimaungayourmomeatsshitforbreakfasthoronukupokaiwhenuakitanatahu, New Zealand

24 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9176 14:48

Gucci gang, Gucci gang, Gucci gang, Gucci gang (Gucci gang)
Gucci gang, Gucci gang, Gucci gang (Gucci gang)
Spend three racks on a new chain (yuh)
My bitch love do cocaine, ooh (ooh)
I fuck a bitch, I forgot her name (brr, yuh)
I can't buy a bitch no wedding ring (ooh)
Rather go and buy Balmains (brr)
Gucci gang, Gucci gang, Gucci gang (Gucci gang)
Gucci gang, Gucci gang, Gucci gang, Gucci gang (Gucci gang)
Gucci gang, Gucci gang, Gucci gang (Gucci gang)
Spend three racks on a new chain (huh?)
My bitch love do cocaine, ooh (brr)
I fuck a bitch, I forgot her name, yuh (yuh, yuh)
I can't buy no bitch no wedding ring, ooh (nope)
Rather go and buy Balmains, ayy (brr)
Gucci gang, Gucci gang, Gucci gang (Gucci gang)

25 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9176 18:09

>>24
Save that for the follow up paper, it's beyond the scope of this research

26 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9176 18:21

[Editor's note:

27 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9177 00:46

That's actually what they say right in the paper. We didn't put that in.]

28 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9177 17:37

While the butterflies form a monophyletic group, the moths, comprising the rest of the Lepidoptera, do not. Many attempts have been made to group the superfamilies of the Lepidoptera into natural groups, most of which fail because one of the two groups is not monophyletic: Microlepidoptera and Macrolepidoptera, Heterocera and Rhopalocera, Jugatae and Frenatae, Monotrysia and Ditrysia.[2]

Although the rules for distinguishing moths from butterflies are not well established, one very good guiding principle is that butterflies have thin antennae and (with the exception of the family Hedylidae) have small balls or clubs at the end of their antennae. Moth antennae are usually feathery with no ball on the end. The divisions are named by this principle: "club-antennae" (Rhopalocera) or "varied-antennae" (Heterocera).

29 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9184 18:46

Typically European "home" internet videos have tried to imitate the calm, sober style of news reports on European television; at worst they tend to be somewhat shaky handcam footage without narration. Only recently has the "American" trend of "youtuber"-style videos become more common.

30 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9193 04:36

In the early 1980s, Arthur T. Murray wrote a shitty Markov chain in Forth, and immediately realized that he was the greatest AI researcher and philosopher in history. In his great modesty, he decided that every human being on the earth needed to know about his revolutionary theory. Unfortunately, at the time, he was limited by how fast he could write and mail letters. However, with the dawn of the internet, he was finally able to reach an audience of millions. Of course, no one has ever, or ever will care about his mentifex project, but he can be credited with probably the first use of the word ``meme'' in its modern connotation.

31 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9193 14:19

If the anime of the book was good, the cover is supposed to have a sticker saying so, and if you espy this it is therefore worth reading for extra detail. Otherwise, there was not enough for infallible kantoku-san to go on and in shame the publisher is forced to recoup the losses from the wallets of the charitable.

32 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9193 16:21

Before we go any further I'd just like to remind you to go ahead and like and subscribe to stay up-to-date with quality content like this paper. I'd also like to thank our friends at Geico for helping us make this research possible. Anyway, hit that notification bell and let's continue on!

33 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9195 05:48

Under the moon loli to issho.

34 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9195 11:12

I can feel it coming in the air tonight, O Lord. And I've been waiting for this moment for all my life, O Lord.

-Genesis 17:13

35 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9195 14:36

Nothing can be without flaw. The superstructure is riddled with cracks.

36 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9196 02:44

The subject, a female of nine years, responded to pain in a curious way. Rather than cry out, she laughed and danced. The greater the pain, the more frantic the dance. After we detected high radiation levels from these frantic dances, we aborted the experiment.

37 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9196 03:51

>>36
Imagine sitting around for a month shooting at Tallstriders and raptors until you hit 20. MMORPGs are a terrible setting for your fantasy story because MMORPGs are boring and lack diversity, imagine if JRR Tolkien has said “and then they spent a week grinding the same model and texture ork on a mostly flat plane with some mountains they can clip up until they were high enough level to enter the raid that would be the next four months until every guild member had all the best gear.”

38 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9208 04:13

HEY
HEY
HEY
*trap airhorns*

39 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9209 11:11

Smoke weed every day.

40 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9209 11:51

So say Brother Nathan.

41 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9210 15:53

Hiding my view of
winter's new raiment: zoomed-out
Lalafell at night

42 Name: 437667 : 1993-09-9259 17:30

It is extremely rare to find out a 3D girl with an acceptable breast size. When they are big enough, they are saggy and almost always are products of lard. They also tend to give the girl some back problems.
An anime girl can have breasts that are big and firm, and still have a healthy tummy and a healthy back. A 3D girl will never have all of this, making them even more envy of the 2D version (see the first point). That's true to all of their proportions, from the eyes to the hips.

3D girls are stuck with very boring possibilities of hairstyles, hair color eye colors and eye formats. 2D anime girls however can have basically any color of eyes and hair possible, and a huge variety of shapes and sizes for both.
When they choose the superior waist-long hair, they don't need to take care so much of it, or feel so hot during summer nights.

Further reading:
Saito Tamaki - Beautiful Fighting Girl
https://www.upress.umn.edu/book-division/books/beautiful-fighting-girl

43 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9261 06:22

Chaos the Misunderstood
Seeing Chaos as a moe-anime harem brought me, one day, to craft a moe tarot, a all-female tarot
representing all the arcana patterns that would represent personalities of Eris. I crafted it first as a
pure brainstorming tool.
After all, the need of knowing about the future is due to our own lack of tolerance as our ordered
lives face Chaos. We fear the life in pink, like Oreki fears Chitanda.
As we try to order our society to be perfect. And it's an error, as perfection does not exist. Let's
imagine an ideal society, where Good has triumphed over Evil which does not exist anywhere
anymore. In this society, the emotions that make us care for people and protect them will disappear,
as they do not have problems and are not in any danger anymore.
That society would become pure law, people will willfully become robots and we will lose
sentience that characterizes ourselves, as it will lack the stimuli (problems to solve) and opposition
(debate) necessary for it to function and grow.
So we would join the Nothing, as we would miss God in our trajectory to Him by some sort of
philosophical Coriolis effect. I love Coriolis effects.
So it will be one day necessary to nurture irrationnality and Evil to nourish our emotions and
preserve the sense of Good and correct our trajectory to God. And it would be impossible to do it in
a purely conscious manner as our consciousness will be always bearing towards light and all that is
Good.
So we will have to invent something, a non-sentient machine using solar radiation-based random
number generator, that would tinker with our thoughts to break the psyche of a select but random
few (in a certain limit, to not destabilize the entire civilization), to make Evil come back in an
insidious manner.
So there would always be problems to solve in society, always an Evil to vanquish, always debates
between egoist individualists and altruist collectivists.
Eris Discordia's doctrine inspired me a lot to write that: our Father Cosmos is sympathetic and give
shape to things, but without Eris our Mother Chaos, he would never have a Son and would stay
desperately sterile. It's the duality of Yin and Yang !
And since the world is a microcosm of yourself, it will be the same for your mind.
Reflect on sins in your life. There is no possible manner you could always resist them. There are
moments you would have been able to resist them and others not.
Capital sins are called like this because they climb up to one's head (Capital coming from the latin
capita, head).
In a Judeo-Christian point of view, it is good to accept God in your life, but Satan also has a place in
it. If your abstain yourself from sinning, you will be forced to do so later. We can conclude that if
you willfully decide to sin at a place and time where it is proper and harmless to others, you won't
have to be forced to do so at an inappropriate time and place later, which would have worse
consequences on others' well-being and way to God.
In exemple, masturbate every day, so that you won't rape an innocent friend tomorrow.
True freedom lies in balancing your own sins. When a sin gains in strength, it will easily take
control from you, but when several sins are vying for that control, you will stay the master of
yourself !
And totally losing control of yourself will place you in the figurative arms of an idea of fatality that
may spell the end of your immortality.
Instead of opposing a pure Paradise and a rotten Hell fighting each other and cover the vales of your
thoughts with an infinite battlefield, create black and white gardens, Grey Gardens where your
inner angels and demons live in harmony and peace. Those voices inside you will grow wise !
But this, society didn't realize it in time, and it's why the Machine of the System has been built.

44 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9287 19:12

The shiny, smooth surfaced Roman helmets in modern productions and reenactments are deemed unconvincing given what we know about the mostly by-hand methods and production economy of Iron Age metalworking[1], and noting that these articles should see wear and tear from actual use in duty.

[1] Some scholars[citation needed] suppose "in a mirror darkly" may be meant less abstractly than it sounds to moderns, a matter-of-fact allusion to how mirrors in those times were ultimately polished metal, so not particularly good. Likewise, in the imagination of ancient audiences, Perseus might not have "seen" Medusa very clearly in his shield( as divinely polished as it might have been), so much as a blurry presence.

45 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9287 20:06

Scott Pilgrim went on to kill most of the population of Jamestown somewhere near the end of the 17th century.

46 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9289 05:08

If anybody is reading this, please send help. They are forcing me to write this inane academic paper. They are threatening to eat my beloved collection of succulents.

47 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9290 00:49

Artistic incorporation and accusations of plagiarism
Sterne incorporated into Tristram Shandy many passages taken almost word for word from Robert Burton's The Anatomy of Melancholy, Francis Bacon's Of Death, Rabelais and many more, and rearranged them to serve the new meaning intended in Tristram Shandy.[4] Tristram Shandy was highly praised for its originality, and nobody noticed these borrowings until years after Sterne's death. The first to note them was physician and poet John Ferriar, who did not see them negatively and commented:[4][5]

If [the reader's] opinion of Sterne's learning and originality be lessened by the perusal, he must, at least, admire the dexterity and the good taste with which he has incorporated in his work so many passages, written with very different views by their respective authors.

Victorian critics of the 19th century, who were hostile to Sterne for the alleged obscenity of his prose, used Ferriar's findings to defame Sterne, and claimed that he was artistically dishonest, and almost unanimously accused him of mindless plagiarism.[4] Scholar Graham Petrie closely analysed the alleged passages in 1970; he observed that while more recent commentators now agree that Sterne "rearranged what he took to make it more humorous, or more sentimental, or more rhythmical", none of them "seems to have wondered whether Sterne had any further, more purely artistic, purpose". Studying a passage in Volume V, chapter 3, Petrie observes: "such passage...reveals that Sterne's copying was far from purely mechanical, and that his rearrangements go far beyond what would be necessary for merely stylistic ends".[4]

From Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia

48 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9290 05:20

i need to pee realy bad

49 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9290 10:28

Hey, listen to me for a moment, a'ight? I don't care if it's not related to this research paper. Just listen!

Yesterday, I went over to Yoshinoya for a simple meal. Yes, THAT beef bowl house, Yoshinoya.
But the whole restaurant was so crowded, I couldn't even find a seat for hours!
Then I saw a poster that said "Special offer! 150 yen discount".
I thought to myself... geez, that's so fucking amazing. You guys don't even normally visit Yoshinoya.
All you bastards came here just for that stupid-assed 150 yen discount.
Just for that 150 yen. ONE FREAKIN' FIFTY YEN!!

Then I saw some parents & children. A family of four eating out at Yoshinoya. Damn, so much for that bitch's home-cooked family feast.
Then one of the little brats said "Daddy's gonna order a large beef bowl".
I couldn't believe it! Uuuuuggh, are you out of your fucking mind!?
Shiiit, i'll pay you 150 yen just to move your stanky fat-ass out of a seat.
Dude, you just don't go to Yoshinoya for that lala-oh-i'm-so-happy dinner bullshit.
It's where you pick a fist-fight with the fucking guy sitting across 'yah in that U-shaped table.
Kill or be killed. Heh... now that's the kinda shit I like.
Ladies, kids, stand back... 'cuz everything's gonna get FUCKED UP NOW.

After waiting for ages, I finally found an empty seat. But then, the guy next to me ordered by saying "A large beef bowl with a LOTTA' gravy".
Dude, that just pissed me off even more. Shit, you just don't say "lotta' gravy" nowadays, ya' freaking bastard.

How the fuck can you say "lotta' gravy" with that "oh, i'm so fucking cool, hur-hur-hur..." look!?!?
Damn, I was THIS CLOSE to standing in front of his face and yelling "DO YOU EVEN LIKE EATING THAT MUCH FUCKIN' GRAVY!?"
For a freaking hour, I was THIS CLOSE to doing that.
Shit, I bet you just wanted to use the words "lotta' gravy" out loud. Wow, you're so clever.

Dude, you gotta be like ME. See, now I know what's "all that" in Yoshinoya.
What's cool right now to say is "Negi-daku". That's it!
You see now, a large beef bowl with a lotta onions & an egg is what the hardcore Yoshinoya freaks eat. Like ME.
Saying "Negi-daku" means that you get less meat, but they put a WHOLE MESS of onions.
Mmmmm... a large beef bowl with onions & an egg, now THAT'S what I call a meal.
But anywhoo... ordering that is kinda' like a double-edged sword. Cuz' then the waiters might notice you the next time you come by.
So yeah, I can't reccomend this to noobs.
For you, just go order a beef and salmon combo. That's as far as you can go, you know what i'm sayin'?

50 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9290 11:38

Now listen to the story, I got to tell, about three bad brothers ya know so well.

51 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9290 21:12

Fig. 1a

         ∧_∧   ┌─────────────────
       ◯( ´∀` )◯ < As for me, it's Kamiyama Mangetsu-chan!
        \    /  └─────────────────
       _/ __ \_
      (_/   \_)
           lll

52 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9295 07:22

Fig. 1b

.        ∧_∧
..      (・ω・` )   WAUTCH ME SQUART XDDDDD
..       )   ⌒ヽ
.       /     \
..      / 'へ     ヽ                .; :
.     / / / \     )    ,,・_  , ’,∴ ・ ¨ ".;": 、・∵   
.    ノ / /    レ  ノ 、,,・_   , ’,∴ ・ ¨  ".;":     、・∵ ’  
.   ⊂ -' -'     /  /                             .; :
          /  /|
          ( ( 、
           |  |、 \
         .  | / \ ⌒l
           | |   ) /
          ノ  )   し'
         (_/

53 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9295 12:28

      / ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
      | Revise and resubmit
      \_  ______
         ∨
                    / ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
        ∧_∧        | Not a good fit for our audience
       ( ´∀`)       /へ._______
       (    っ-~ ∧ ∧
  ∧_∧-ニニニニニニニ─、(゚Д゚;)
 ( ・∀・ )        ヽ⊂  ヽ
 (    つヽ、    ∧_∧\ ノ〜
  し__) \  ニニ(    ). \    / ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
        || ̄ ̄ (    ) ̄||   < My graduate student found 273 errors
            (__○ノ       \________
   ∧
/ ̄   ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
|  Publish or perish
\________

             Fig. 2

54 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9295 17:46

\begin{align*}
N &= \{ 0, 1, 2, \ldots \} \\
1 \in N &\implies \exists \, N \: s.t. \: P = NP \quad \forall P \\
&\implies P = NP
\end{align*}

55 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9296 02:21

\frac{butts}{big+\frac{butts}{big+\frac{butts}{big+\frac{butts}{big+\frac{butts}{big+\frac{butts}{big+\frac{butts}{big+\frac{butts}{big+\frac{butts}{big+\frac{butts}{big+\frac{butts}{big+\frac{butts}{big+\frac{butts}{big+\frac{butts}{big+\frac{butts}{big+\frac{butts}{big+\frac{butts}{big+\frac{butts}{big+\frac{butts}{big+\frac{butts}{big+\dots}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

56 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9296 02:30

57 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9297 00:38

Just as No. 3 port gun was being elevated, someone cried out, 'I see something that looks like a white flag'; and true enough there was something flying on the steamer that would have been white by application of soap and water. As she neared us, we looked in vain for the face of a white man. When they discovered that we would not fire on them, there was a rush of contrabands out on her deck, some dancing, some singing, whistling, jumping; and others stood looking towards Fort Sumter, and muttering all sorts of maledictions against it, and 'de heart of de Souf,' generally. As the steamer came near, and under the stern of the Onward, one of the Colored men stepped forward, and taking off his hat, shouted, 'Good morning, sir! I've brought you some of the old United States guns, sir!'

That man's name? Albert Einstein.

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