(He's a tough boy. You can treat him as one of your items.)
The statute of limitations for slapping someone in the face with your peen in the state of Nevada is only three years
Nobody misspells "baby" as "babby" this many times unintentionally.
Source: Am guy who spells "baby" as "babby" intentionally.
The new granblue character is big sis vampire banksy, and she huffs her own paint. Granblue character design continues to forge new paths
did you seriously just say “got yeeted for it” in the context of the holocaust and feel no remorse
Don't eat subway dude, full of artificial junk and synthetic bread. Bake your own bread with caveman bone broth flour from infowarslife
TERFS & Alt-Right fundamentalists will be blocked.
don't EVER let a brahmin-privileged turmeric monster lecture you about POC, colonialism, cultural appropriation, or representation. remind them that when the lord indra arrived on the ganges in his chariot to slaughter 6 million dasyu aboriginals, the first word he said was 'namaste'
brain so broken i saw the word “elongate” and thought what dumb shit did space karen do this time
Devastated to think that somewhere in the world at this very moment a british man is about to put beans on toast and we are powerless to stop him
Imagine being Bill Gates right now.
You spend 30 years of your life and $50 billion of your own dollars supporting humanitarian causes. You directly save hundreds of thousands of lives in South East Asia by providing anti malaria netting to half of a continent, you drop infant mortality rates throughout the entire developing world by funding vaccine programs including vaccinating 40,000,000 children for polio, and, amongst a plethora of philanthropic endeavors, you fund free educational platforms like Khan Academy so people can have free access to high quality education.
Then after donating half of your wealth to charity and pledging 90% of the remainder to charity in your will..
Arguably doing more to better life on earth for humanity than any other human being to ever live.
You then hop on the internet only to find a million scientifically illiterate fucking imbeciles that are using the very computers you pretty much invented in the first place to call you a child murdering arch villain anti-christ because they watched a YouTube video made by some other yokel with the comprehension of a fucking potato.
>very computers you pretty much invented
HAHAHHAHHAHAHHAAH HOHOHOH OHO TEEHEEHEE
giggles
chortles
HAHAHHAHAHHAHHHAHAAAAAAAAAHHAHAHHAHAHHAAAAAAAAHAA
LOOK AT THIS DUDE
AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHA
Install Gentoo.
2nd “What kind of farts do you like?” 2007.5.9 ~
First place Buuuuuuuu! "Bakuon fart" 65 votes
2nd place Puu ♪ and "Cute fart" 61 votes
3rd place Fusuu "Squashpe" 41 votes
4th Bobaaaaaan! ! And "Gag explosion fart" 25 votes
5th place Boo! And "a normal fart that is not a lie" 23 votes
6th place "Fun fart with a bouncy rhythm" 6 votes
7th place Bubibi! And "wet fart" 3 votes
8th place Puppyii! And "Squealing fart" 2 votes
Continuing from the last time, it's a strong roar. To me, after the cute fart and Puu ♪, reddened and is not the strongest that I intends fidgeting Hazira but (laughs)
The Tteyuu the 6-position of the bouncing rhythm fun fart, thank you Who posted ! What kind of fart is it? I wonder if it is a fart that will make even the people around me happy.
lways, cool Reika-san got drunk by Belon Belon ... It smells pretty alcoholic ...
"No ... I'm not good at ..."
"Ani -... It's a stormy storm. "
" No ... that's why ... "
" Jammy miracle ... "It
was poured into the cup ...
Sipped drink are in the
"Romirasai to Ich ..."
"Well ..."
"It Lolo ... rough whiter Rekirao sake our torquecontrol fly Tteyu of ~ ...
Rerraru new lame smell scarlet It's easy to
cry ! " Finally, I started crying ... Reika-san is like crying Ueto.
"
Okay ... I'll drink." I managed to put up with little by little and swallowed sake.
"Iro Ippire-Rah ... Rohhhhh ..."
"Eh ..." I
had no choice but to drink another cup.
After a while I went somewhere.
"Fuu ..."
I took a break, but it wasn't over yet ...
"
Are you drinking?" This time, Rinko, who is always neat and clean, looks like Yamato Nadeshiko.
" Huh ... yes ..."
"Don't you drink at all ...
huh-la ... I'll pour it in ..." I'm pouring in again ...
"Please give it to me too ..."
I poured with Minami.
“Oh ... I'm dry ...”
Rinko drank it in no time.
"Oh ~ I'm not drinking ~ ..."
"That ... I'm not good at that ..."
"Eh ... I'm not good at me ...?"
"No ... not ..."
"So I can't drink alcohol … ”
“ Okay…
I ’ll drink… I 'll drink… ” I will have two and three more drinks…
Some time later, several seniors came this time.
"
That's a newcomer ... I'm not drinking ..." "That's ... your welcome party, so don't drink more
... " "No ... I'm drinking ..."
"... a little toilet ..."
One senior said so.
"... which one ...?"
"Neither one ..."
"Eh ... are you likely to vomit?"
"... Yeah ... I think you're going to have some farts
..."
"I'm gonna do it here ..." "... That's also true. … ”Because of
the alcohol, the shame was no longer on the seniors.
"Hey ... smell I Do not let them to the newcomer because much trouble"
"... eh ..."
"do I have to ... Yoo ~ ... Why do that I do not want ...?"
I'm like a little bit relieved ... it was still early ... .
"~ Because'm punishment game ... newcomer does not drink to have to remove the siding ..."
"Yeah ... I thought rookie because I'm welcomed the newcomers must remove the siding"
Then, a voice called, such as "do once you" I heard it from my surroundings.
"... Then ...
let's do it ..." A senior who was trying to head to the toilet came to me.
I tried to escape ... but my arms were fixed from both sides, saying "No!"
"No ... Stop it ..."
I of her ass will come approaching the front of the face
"... I'm sorry ~ ... ~ will come out the other ... there ..."
Puwuu Tsu ~ ~
"Ugh ... rotten ..."
I have a special hobby I didn't have any, so I tried to turn my face a little.
"It's no good ... Run away ... Does anyone else want to do it?"
"... I might be out ..."
"... I also ..."
...
...
push ...
Pusu' ...
Buwu ...
push ... Pupyii ~ ~
I was smell one after another fart from also of seniors any person, other nose was I knew I would be paralyzed ....
Then, there… Rinko-senpai said ,
“What are you doing? "The newcomer hasn't stripped away, so I'm punishing all the farts ..." "Please help ..." I sought my best help. "I can't ... don't ..." Help me ... When I think so ... "I've been accumulating ... I'll do a lot ..." "Eh ..." Yes ... I can't do it myself It was "don't do". Rinko-senpai's big and plump buttocks didn't stop in front of me ... My face was buried in Rinko-senpai's big ass ... It felt very comfortable ... I almost thought that it smelled so numb, so I wondered if I could keep it as it was. "I'm gonna go ~ ... Please sniff a lot
Bubobobobobobofufuu ~~~! ! !
<bps> Im pooing right now :DDDD
<bps> Shit is exiting my anuss
>>814
Holy fuck, this is like the third time I glanced at this post at the exact moment the very same was happening to me.
I've grown a lot as a person. I used to see yaoi and say "ewww gay" but I realised how homophobic it is to hate something just because it's gay. Now I see yaoi and hate it for the right reasons; women might see it and masturbate
the key to any good story is a creampie
Now I have a vagina that farts and poops.
SOME STAY DRY AND OTHERS FEEL THE PAIN
_________________
"You call yourself a princess, but you're a brainiac in a dress! I can't believe you'd waste time with these books! You remind of my kid sister, she read so much, she got a blister. A big one, I mean BIG and on her BRAIN, WHAT A SHNOOK!"
Ignorance Is Bliss - Jellyfish
Say what you want about the bagpipes, I've always felt there was a good reason the Germans were scared shitless in WWI when the bagpipers went over the trenches without any weapons and just started playing in no man's land. I feel like their woad-wearing, magic mushroom eating Pictish berserker ancestors would be proud.
olympic weightlifting? no thanks, the only "clean and jerk" i do is when i tidy up my room then beat off.
WU TÄNG MANNSCHAFT IST KEINE ZUM ÄRGERN!
WU TÄNG MANNSCHAFT IST KEINE ZUM ÄRGERN!
WU TÄNG MANNSCHAFT IST KEINE ZUM ÄRGERN!
WU TÄNG MANNSCHAFT IST KEINE ZUM ÄRGERN!
captcha: nien
that’s how you know john lennon was a hack, had a whole schlmatz song about imagining a utopia, and he doesn’t mention anime doggirl playing doom for 12 hours straight on youtube even once
how is that anywhere close to a utopia huh!?
call my dick "the tiger" 'cause fascists love to ride it
I love this truly fabulous Ickabog, with its bat ears, mismatched eyes, and terrifying bloodstained teeth!
replace horny cop art w/ horny USPS art.
im begging y'all: stop licking boots & start licking postage
Ah yes. Nothing better than country music and gay sex. The ugly socks are the cherry on top
Hey youtube junkie...just letting you know that I have a new video uploaded. Hope you check it out...thanks for the support.
Praying for my cousin who is both racist and hates police, I'm sure this has been a very tough week for him.
Covert ID Project 2019 (or COVID-19 for short) was a mass global census project initiated in the summer of 2019 to secretly identify and tag the entire human population in preparation for the start of an entirely new chapter in human history.
in the immortal words of Martin Luther King Jr., “blockchain is the language of the unheard”
YEP, I AM TROLL AND I WAS HUNGRY!!
THANKS FOR FEDDING ME LOOSERS HAHAHA XDDD
KNOW I GONNA WATCH SOME PORN CUM ON MY COMPUTER AND GO TO BED.
BYE BYE.
>write a bunch of gay books about gay little wizards
>somehow your opinion on political matters is now relevant
There is this scene in The Incredibles where Elastigirl is stuck stretched between two doors, and when she frees herself her ass goes flying back and crushes some guards into the wall. I want to be one of those guards.
Your ancestor: Joined whaling expedition on a dare, later went off with expeditionary forces, smoked opium in Malaya for 4 years, returned home, became general manager of a bank, then senator
You: Stayed home for 2 weeks during pandemic, now unemployable because of resume gap
Heinlien would be one of those tweeters who regularly posted conspiracy theories 8 posts long only to delete it when people started fact checking. That'd be followed by an angry tweet about the damn kids. He'd probably also be really into Jordan Peterson.
HP Lovecraft would be a QAnon guy and super-active in the incel community (even if he did marry).
James Joyce would be fine politically, but he'd just unironically BRAAAP-post and probably run one of those Instagrams devoted to hot armpits or some shit.
Dear god, can you imagine Ayn Rand on twitter?
Folks need to learn that when a liberal complains about something, you don't actually have to do anything about it.
to be fair though, cops have a real high rate of solving the crime of being not white
I not even have friends to kill if I need money
How to enjoy the game as an animal hater?
I don’t want to sound dramatic but animals of all kinds disgust me. Especially jitters. I want to like the game because it feels peaceful and there’s so much you can do with terraforming, but I just can’t get over the overwhelming nausea I feel when I open the game and see one of my villagers. Does anyone have any ideas?
PS: there is a silver lining. I enjoy hitting them with my net.
True story, I remember downloading Community Pom as a kid after completely misreading the name.
Found it, waited days for the download to end, burned it to CD, just to be super disappointed it was not hentai.
Stupid kid.
Grandpa, born in Michigan, went overseas to kill nazis and died valiantly with one thought on his mind, how well represented his heritage was during chow time at Fort Beauregard
According to the man himself, Stephen Hillenburg, Spongebob is actually an asexual icon. Probably panro because let’s be real, there’s no way that sweet soul is denying anyone love because of what they are
> Community Pom
I read "Community Porn" for a moment there
The sad things is, black cats are often not adopted and the euthanized as a result due to superstition, which is just cat racism basically.
mate, you should get a medal for all of that fucking work. i swear i'll paypal you 50 quid whenever i'll manage to find your patreon, not even my girlfriend can satisfy me as much as this video did.
Gonna try to maybe get this guy killed, check out the hilarious vid, like & subscribe.
Boy this really brings backs some memories. I was 12 at the time and my friend told me he had found this site called Beenz that we could use to earn points and buy stuff. There was a game that was basically a clone of Asteroids that would pay out Beenz based on how many points you scored. We were avid gamers and wannabe hackers (more like script kiddies) so we were aware of a tool like game hacker or something that would allow us to find the memory address of a given value in a game and change it to whatever value we desired. This Asteroids clone calculated the points in the browser and submitted the value when you died, so we could easily find the value and change it to 100,000,000 or something ludicrous. It worked. We were rolling in Beenz. I bought a Gameboy and some games, tons of Pokemon trading cards, and several Wal-mart gift certificates. In the end I wound up with well over $500 worth of free stuff. Doesn't seem like a big haul now, but to a fairly poor 12 year old middle school kid, we were living like kings.
The game was eventually shut down and one day I received an email from some guy. He said he wasn't angry but wanted to know how I was able to exploit the game and get so many points, and maybe one day we could laugh about it over a beer. I just sent him a reply saying "I'm 12, lol."
ehhhhhh the eyes in that Morgana concept art are neat but a latex wearing cat woulda been weird
Posting someone else's cringe for clout is still posting cringe.
Rust fan fic?
Been thinking about it lately.
It would feature a CS student who comes across a portal in his department's hallway.
The portal would emit a flurry of different flashing symbols that spin around his head as he is lifted up into the air.
The symbols would be golden and range from lambda to haskell to parentheses.
He'd be totally drunk on them as they drag him into the portal.
We don't know where the portal leads.
Then all we see is black. In a few moments we see Steve Klabnik greet the young traveler and hand him the Book of Rust.
The student, who just learned about the basics of automata theory, is told that he'll never have to worry about concurrency again.
He's also told that due to Rust, buffer overflows are now deprecated.
He wakes up only to realize this was a dream. But of course he hadn't heard of Rust until that very dream (!) so, curious, he looks it up and low and behold: Rust is real. Steve Klabnik is real. The borrow checker...is real.
He then drops out of school and moves to the Bay Area determined to pioneer Rust and make a dent in the industry with a startup based on Rust tech, John Carmack style.
"Well, the last 569 versions of Raven/Kaley Cuoco/Adolf Hitler might not have been impressed with 'hi' but maybe this one will bite!"
Nobody fucking cares if you drink an entire pitcher of beer in 6 seconds while walking. That’s why there is no focus on it. It’s just something that doesn’t happen in D&D and doesn’t make any difference if it does.
haha .... This chap ' T' fancied my sis and we would take the piss ...' everywhere I go your face I see every step I take you take with me when I look in the mirror to comb my hair all I see is T standing there yeah ! :-) T was the original ' stalker' lol
Maybe not story about me, but about my mother. In Poland, we have something called Maturity Exams, which we write at the end of high school. My mother was chosen to check some of these, as she is a teacher. Students need to write an essay, so my mother needed to read them.
One of them was about ANIME, while it is needed to refer to a BOOK. Dude who wrote this essay related to 3 DIFFERENT ANIMES and one of them was a HENTAI. FRICKING HENTAI. Fortunately my mom didn't search for these series, so she didn't watch nude drawn japanese people. Anyway, that dude passed this exam. But the fact that somebody wrote an essay about anime on life-depending exam just made me laugh for like 30 minutes.
Sorry for some mistakes, english is my second language.
Tinder date: "so like, what are your politics???"
Me: Worships Adolf Hitler as an avatar of Vishnu
"Uh, I'm apolitical"
Getting toppy an hour later
In hindsight, it's kinda odd that he went with a hand grenade logo instead of a foot grenade :shrug:
god im gonna miss pecorine's boobs
It's a book that takes some of the most racist stereotypes and historical depictions of enslaved people and then adds inflation fetishes and rape in as well. In 2017, it got a gold award at the ENnies for "best adventure."
JRPGs be like:
chapter 1: rescue a cute kitten
chapter 15: KILL GOD
Socialism is basically meaningless in US political parlance. To the left it means everything good they want and on the right it means everything bad from soda taxes and gun waiting lists up to stalin's ghost personally eating the koch brothers
Okay I'll put it another way. You know how the movie has a two second scene where Sonny is fucking a bridesmaid at Connie's wedding at the beginning? Well in the book, that bridesmaid is not only a named character but a significant amount of the book is about how she has an enormous vagina and doesn't know how to go on living without Sonny's abnormally gigantic hog. I'm serious, it's a whole seperate storyline where she doesn't interact with any of the characters from the movie.
What did he mean by this
My father was a sewer man, and my mother was his concubine. I was born in what's called a "fecal retainment pool", on a pile old, unsold Sunday newspapers. The first thing I ever saw was Garfield's crumpled face, soiled by diarrhea. I still see it in my dreams. Semper fi.
I wouldn't vote for Kanye West, or Biden or Trump, because they all suck absolutely huge ass and I just want to grill, but I'm not sure 2016's tactics of accusing the bitter Bernie Bros of being sexist is going to work now that the democratic candidate is a rapist.
I wish I could make coronaviruses to the size of hamster balls so I could get a hammer and smash their brains out.
By 'brains' I mean their RNA, enzymes and shit, just hear those satisfying 'pop' sounds as their enveloped membrane bursts open like a water balloon full of goo. And possibly high pitched squealing sounds of fear as the viruses try to slowly roll around like Zorb Balls to pathetically escape my wrath.
I'd first rip their dicks (Spike glycoproteins) off, one by one, after getting them to come close to me by showing them a pair of inflatable lungs. I'd like to imagine the viruses whimpering and shuddering every time I pluck one off. Then when there's none left and the stupid virus is crying in pain and fear, I'd get a hammer and smash that fucker's head in.
Me: bro did you hear that?
Friend: no, what do you mean?
Me: ES GEHT DURCH DIE WELT EIN GEFLÜSTER
LOL, there's something you don't see everyday, a caterpillar raeping a french fry. Or in the french fry perceptive, it's getting raeped by the caterpillar
"Vote Pedro for President"
You came in and derailed a conversation about books by whining about casual inclusion of the Bechtel test and are now using the derailment you initiated as proof that its inclusion derails discussion. Bravo.
puts on mask
aahhhh nooo im turning into a bimbo giant tits grow and my ass sticks out nooo covid stop making me into a bimbo
Popping neko pills nonstop this milk got me on the same wavelength tht jesus is in .. or was..
my stack: tren dbol fentanyl lorazepam and bullet ant venom, let's fucking GOOOOOOO
I believe that if Jesus were alive today, he would be on TV.
lol says the guy with Master Roshi Pic. One Piece is too deep and complicated to be for kids.
It's not suicide if you're already dead inside PURURIN!
OP. His need for dick passed beyond the usual level of OP faggotry where he sucked a hundred dicks, and has been spotted at graveyards, digging up cadavers to grind up corpse dicks so he can snort them as a sort of gay cocaine.
Cums are the most obvious sign of true satisfaction on the planet.
I wish there were food so good that I jizzed after eating it.
It would be nothing for a member of the Kardashian family to have him involuntarily committed for the week of the election. It would just be a matter of calling 911 and claiming he threatened to somehow harm himself. Then, the next week, they could take him to an empty middle school and tell him it’s a polling place. There’s no way schools will be open in November, with Corona making a comeback the likes of which we haven’t seen since LL on Mama Said Knock You Out.
The other day, my little brother, who teaches middle school PE, went to a meeting about how they can possibly reopen schools this fall. He’s now on mandatory 14-day quarantine.
Part of me wonders if there's some dude out there sitting on a pile of bean futures just raking in a ton of money right now. Kind of an amusing thought.
The year is 2040. The LGBTQ party has taken over the whole world. Being heterosexual is illegal. At age 14, everyone is forced by law to change to another one of the 666 different genders. The last straight people hide in the sewers, eating rats and enjoying decade-old videogames; the last ones without identity politics woven directly in the code. Their last hope; pre marital sex.
Or maybe your bubble bro just wants you to be clean because he is a magical creature sold in stores and when he has expended his bubbles he simply pops and leaves a coupon for 25% off a purchase of Bubble Buddy, Bubble Buddy Lavender, Bubble Buddy Tropical Mist and tear-free Baby Bubble Buddy.
the vast majority of the plant science research community rejects plant neurobiology as a legitimate notion. Their main arguments are that:
"Plant neurobiology does not add to our understanding of plant physiology, plant cell biology or signaling".
"There is no evidence for structures such as neurons, synapses or a brain in plants".time is a flat circle folded into an origami crane
One of the room attendants came into my office (I was the chief engineer there) and asked me what she should do with this, then showed me a bag with what looked like a horse's penis in it. I took it, called environmental health to dispose of it safely (it could of had any number of diseases) put they recommended that I get it cremated by a vet as it would be quicker as it was late and a weekend. So, I called around and had the phone put down on me a few times after explaining that I somehow have a horses penis draped over my desk like a fuckin scarf. Anyway, long story short they came out to collect it and confirmed that it was indeed a horses penis and thought it was the best story that they had ever heard they didn't charge the hotel. They sent me a framed certificate a few days later, which I then hung on the office wall. The penis, just incase you are wondering, was found in a womens room, in her fridge. Apparently it's a good luck charm in kazakhstan. Not for the horse though.
Ew you have a mom? That's kinda gay isn't it?
literally every stupid "thing" modern women do, from becoming pit mommies to veganism to onlyfans to caring about politics, is a direct result of not getting knocked up as a teen
> Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg has been taken to the hospital and treated for a possible infection, according to a court spokeswoman
Democrats suddenly discover prayer lol
Hey son, you’re a fucking loser and I hate your ass so much. Here’s a roof over your head, food on your plate and those shitty manga books you wanted. Oh, and I made you immortal and gave you superpowers. Are you feeling hated yet?
Big Tissue has had fantastic years since its inception - look at every major event you seen see bits of tissue stuck all over it:
Fall of communism? Expansion of the market.
Imperialism? Imports of spicy food and coffee.
The internet? More people eating soup over desks causing small spillages.
How else could they get away with shrinking the size of the roll while increasing the price. The next time you have a poo you should ask yourself if you're wiping the toilet paper or the toilet paper is wiping YOU.
>>889 lmao people are so fucking stupid, can't wait till everyone dies
Everyday I would report to a neon green and orange building in Burbank, California with gigantic statues of The Rugrats and Hey Arnold on the top. The giant Chucky would spew molten lead at passers by and cackle insanely while Arnold would occasionally vomit out some half digested little brat who pissed off security.
So i went to the doctor the other day and apparently i have a low sperm count.😓
This idiot doctor told me i should give up my vegan diet if i ever hope to have children in the future, and i was like "huh fuck that" and got up and left his office.
Kinda sucks that i'll never have kids of my own but at least my GF's sperm is still active so i don't mind raising her kids as if they were mine.
-Anyway, it turns out my mom taped the news for me while I was away, so I have like a week of Kerri-Lee to go through... #13,502
-Oh, I followed several women who looked sort of like Kerri-Lee around the science museum, but none of them turned out to be her:~( #13,846
-And with my position as Kerri-Lee of the CIC, cool knife AND uniform, I'll be the cult leader! #14,539
-As in "Over the Kerri-lee for the traffic, she's got great breasts.." #15,608
-What good is the world when I've no Kerri-Lee:~(? Of course, if I took over the world, I could have all the Kerri-Lee I wanted. The world it is, then, chaps. #17,284
-Wow, Kerri-Lee at the hardware store. I'd like to ware her... hard #19,478
-I have two pictures in frames on my desk at work: a picture of a spotted stingray marked 'Cat' and a printed glossy picture of Kerri-Lee. #20,382
<Byydo> some guys try to un-circumsize themselves by hanging weights from their penis
<LOAF> !Kerri-Lee
<LOAF> The concept of something hanging from my penis reminded me. #21,608
Common household dust is 69% pubes and asscrack hair particles.
Female goth King Arthur in a maid swimsuit and one of the greatest tyrants of the ancient world, who is also in a swimsuit, are racing in a dragster made by transgender Leonardo Da Vinci. Genderbent Frankenstein and Mecha Charles Babbage are combined together into a supertank, Oda Nobunaga and another version of king Arthur from outerspace are driving spaceship, and even more weird shit. And all of these things are going on during a cannonball/drag race which is being put on by the ancient Sumerian goddess of Love.
And you're bothered by the map scale?
I've met people in my state who seemed to genuinely believe the Constitution and Bill of Rights were handed down, pre-written, to the founding fathers by God himself. Kinda like Moses and the tablets on Mount Sinai. They're typically the same crowd who think Jesus spoke English.
Poor old Mrs. Vassilyev's gutty works must've looked like a cattle rendering factory.
He's just a poor goy from a poor family.