The Elitist Superstructure of DQN @ 4-ch

1 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5546 09:54 [No]

( ´° ヮ°`) Please, every time you use emergency mittens release system write a report here.
Those reports may be used during maintenance to improve system performance and increase mittens throughput rate!

2 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5546 12:23 [No]

Dear Maintenance,

Today Station 5 suffered an attack from a small raid party, I took my station partners down into the safe room, and initiated protocol, Everything seemed fine, But alas, The emergency mittens had not released, I pressed the button several more times.

3 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5546 14:31 [No]

( ﾟ -ﾟ) http://i33.tinypic.com/9zvku8.png

4 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5546 20:41 [No]

I also have an error to report in regards to the Emergency Mittens.

Earlier today I was undergoing an emergency and as such I released the Emergency Mittens. Mittens were released as expected, but upon further inspection, these Mittens did not meet Emergency Mittens quality standards. While they managed to serve my purposes, in a dire emergency, these Mittens could fail leading to physical harm if not death.

5 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5547 14:23 [No]

Hi, I had a mitten failure and I was here to inquire about a refund? ( ・-・)

6 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5547 22:58 [No]

Some of emergency mittens got stuck in mechanical parts of the complicated machinery. What are you going to do about that?

7 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5547 23:24 [No]

Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂)
Date: September 5547, 1993
Reason: Unspeakable horrors. Also, my hands were cold.
Result: No errors or complications, all issues resolved.

8 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5550 00:04 [No]

EMERGENCY MITTEN STATUS REPORT # 116XLV_9
Today, (September 5550, 1993) was the 50-day-inspection for the emergency mittens, and upon further inspection, the mittens were made out of lint. As you know, this fails the mitten quality check amendment to the DQN section of the articles of 4-ch, Paragraph 4, line 6, subsection 26A. Please rectify this immediately.

9 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5550 07:29 [No]

On February 13th, 2007, D-Wave demonstrated the Orion system, running three different applications at the Computer History Museum in Mountain View, California. This marked the first public demonstration of, supposedly, a quantum computer and associated service.
The first application, an example of pattern matching, performed a search for a similar compound to a known drug within a database of molecules. The next application computed a seating arrangement for an event subject to compatibilities and incompatibilities between guests. The last involved solving a Sudoku puzzle.

10 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5550 18:23 [No]

It´s an emergency! I repeat, an eme...cy...
Everyth...s ...rning...
HEL... SOME..DY... P...SE...ELP!!

11 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5550 19:25 [No]

A. MAINTENANCE STOP REPORT 11 STOP AFTER DOUBLECLICK BUTTON MITTENS SUSPEND STOP KNOCKED OUT EMAIL USED TELEGRAPH TO SEND STOP

12 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5550 22:06 [No]

>>9
HOLY SHIT STOP 2007 IS FAR AWAY STOP IN THE FUTURE STOP

13 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5551 00:30 [No]

　　　　　　　　　　　　　＿,.　--　..__／|
　　　　　　　　 /￣　　　　　　〉龍＞､
　　　　　　　　　 _/i , -‐ｧフ⌒￣ｰ‐┐ | 　＼
　　　　　　　　 / {. // / / /　/　 / /￣ヽﾍ ,ハ

14 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5551 02:44 [No]

HELP I'M STUCK IN THE PAST AND I CAN'T GET OUT

15 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5551 06:37 [No]

... .- -.- ..- -.-- .- -....- ... .- -. / ... .- -.- ..- -.-- .- -....- ... .- -. / ... .- -.- ..- -.-- .- -....- ... .- -. / -.-. .-.. . .- -. .. -. --. / ... - --- .--. / .-. --- --- -- / -.-. .-.. . .- -. .. -. --. / ... - --- .--.

16 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5552 22:43 [No]

I had to wait in a long line, but in the end I received a pair of gloves instead of mittens. I want a replacement immediately or I will sue.
What are you going to do about that?

17 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5554 23:09 [No]

The emergency... The horror...

18 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5559 06:12 [No]

My mittens got stuck on the top of the page. What should I do?

19 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5559 23:33 [No]

I have to sleep, but I can´t. Why are these emergency mittens not helping?

20 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5560 05:35 [No]

>>18
It's an emergency! Release more mittens!

21 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5563 09:10 [No]

Has crisis affected the price of emergency mittens? Is there any way to increase the effectiveness of each mitten?

22 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5563 11:57 [No]

I used the emergency mittens on 5000 of september, was that acceptable?

23 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5570 00:55 [No]

So this morning, I was minding my own business, and suddenly, mittens start raining down. There was no emergency. It looked like some little brats released them as a joke! Please find them and deal with them accordingly. Those little jokers need to learn what an emergency really is!

24 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5579 04:48 [No]

>>19
The emergency mittens contain small amounts of caffeine to counteract drowsiness, which often results from it being winter.

25 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5579 16:29 [No]

I'm not exactly sure what happened. When I pressed emergency button I noticed that page background is not the same as before!
I believe some sort of malfunction happened during mittens release.

26 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5579 16:35 [No]

EMERGENCY CODE ⑨ IS NOW IN EFFECT.

PLEASE STAY CALM AND KEEP YOUR TENTACLES WITHIN THE VEHICLE AT ALL TIMES.

27 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5579 16:40 [No]

Finally, a DQN on par with this board

28 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5579 17:53 [No]

http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1146#comic

i do believe this calls for emergency mittens

[Emergency] Emergency mittens release thread [MITTENS] (28)