In the beginning I am running in the forest naked as fast as I can, as if I'm escaping from something. I encounter big swarms of aggressive bees recklessly stinging me on the road but it doesn't stop me. Then I get to a branch and realize that all but one of the stings were actually nails. Strangely, those nails are actually reversed, pointing up with the head inside my skin.
I had 2 cause I slept for like 14 hours:
I was in my hometown (a theme appears) with my mother on some business of some kind. I left her and wandered off to go see the apartments where we used to live. My key still worked (in reality we lived there like 15 years ago and I don't even have my key anymore) and no one seemed to be at home so I just let myself in, thinking to have a look around and see how the new tenants had changed the place. I was inspecting some knickknack off a shelf when the "new tenant" appeared behind me, a rather pretty young woman, slender with dark hair and dark eyes and clad in an ankle length black dress that at once seemed old-fashioned and very stylish. She was naturally a bit concerned at there being a strange man in her apartment so I set down the object I was looking at and put both my hands up to show that I was unarmed, then began to speak(I remember the conversation clearly):
I dreamt that half of the dirty dishes in my sink had been washed, which was mysterious because I always wash them completely.
I dreamt that someone made a typo on IRC and highlighted me unintentionally, then apologized for it.
Start of Family Guy episode:
Peter Griffin is unsure of an obscure pop culture thing at the Drunken Clam, the answer to which could only be known past the end of his natural lifespan (dunno what, let's say it may have been the fate of a child actor or whether there would be a ridiculously high-numbered movie sequel).
I dreampted that my romantic interest told me they wanted to do the sex, so we both went to a bathroom to prepare, but as I presumably actually needed a pee in real life my dream self was completely unable to pee. I sat in a car trying to make the urine when I spotted someone I knew walking down the street towards me, so I ducked down.
Then my cat woke me up trying to dig a tunnel inside my legs for warmth.
My mom and I were looking for a cottage, and we found one that was being sold by a bunch of homosexuals in their "gay colony". It turns out they also kept corrupt politicians there, and would regularly sodomize their anuses. And whenever an anus was getting too dry, they had a sort of dildo on a hand drill, where the first couple inches was just caked in blood and shit, and the final 2/3rds were just barbs that tore up the flesh. When applied to a politician's anus this would effectively result in lubricating it, at the cost of excruciating pain to the anus owner.
I was in the passenger seat of a car and we were being chased by the police driving really fast down a small two lane road with trees on either side. The guy driving was firing a gun out the window at the police and I decided I didn't want any more to do with this, so I pulled out my own gun and shot him in the head and steered the car til it came to a stop. I got out of the car with my hands up to surrender to the police and tell them I wasn't involved when I hear "LET'S SEE HOW YOU LIKE IT MOTHERFUCKER!" from behind me and the driver wakes up and shoots me in the back of the head. I fall over and the dream ends, I wake up.
It was the 60s, and I went to go see Martin Luther King jr give a speech. Before it started he noticed me and took me aside and used magic to make me black so I wouldn't stand out in the crowd. He told me to come see him afterward and he'd reverse the spell but I woke up first.
>>414 yeah, even got my N-word pass straight from Michelle Obama my nigga
I also dreamed tonight that a longtime net friend from Europe(I'm American, won't go more specific for either of us) came to visit me and we went to a baseball game. He kept asking me in his adorable accent to explain what was happening so I'd tell him about the rules or the finer points of the game strategy while we were watching. We got some hotdogs and beers, snuck down into better seats, all that classic ballpark stuff. It was the nicest dream I've had in a long time, I woke up in a really good mood even though I didn't get much sleep.