I went outside today (55)

1 Name: Anonymous : 2006-07-20 01:41 ID:7svXkvYR

because I had some business to take care of. I took the buss on the way back home which proved to be a fatal mistake. It was pretty crowded so I had to stand, no biggie I thought since most people were sitting down. Then at the next stop a bunch of people gets on and this girl stands like 1 feet away from me. I was so disgusted, all I could think was GET AWAY GET AWAY. I even wanted to tell her not to stand so close to me because it made me uncomfortable but that would have been rude so I decided not to. After two stops she sat down when somebody left their seat to get off. Immediatly another girl comes and stands infront of me. This time it was even worse because she kept looking out the window which meant her face was facing mine. It was excruciating. When she looked away I could manage it but with her face that close to mine I was about to freak out. I hope I don't have to go out more than a few times this summer.

6 Name: Anonymous : 2006-07-20 13:44 ID:Heaven

>>5 in other words: he's extremely gay

7 Name: Anonymous : 2006-07-20 16:58 ID:9YENzZ2X

>>6
More than extremely gay. Gay people, generally, aren't repulsed by the very presence of girls; they're just not sexually attracted to them. So, in short, either >>5 is right, or he's making things up. Y'know, on the internet.

8 Name: Anonymous : 2006-07-20 18:04 ID:Cg/ib+1p

>>1
Hi,I'm Japanese.
I'm sure you're suffering from some kind of mental illness.
Tell me your secret.
I also fear that someone stand so close to me.
Because I have a bad breath.
Whae I was a child,my friends would often bully me oweing to this.they exclude me .
as a result ,I was forced to live alone for good.
How sad of my life !

9 Name: Anonymous : 2006-07-21 00:47 ID:26EcG085

Brush your teeth >>8!!

10 Name: Anonymous : 2006-07-21 00:58 ID:WrUy1okt

>>1
OUch, sounds like a painful situation, truly I feel for you and am glad I don't ever have to deal with something like that, well I mean over times there has been, but not recently which is good.
I would've just moved to any other spot.

11 Name: Anonymous : 2006-07-21 01:29 ID:JHDg7lLP

God, I'm wondering how many of the people in this thread are actually telling the truth.

12 Name: Anonymous : 2006-07-21 03:22 ID:QOM4WL1Q

dont ride the bus and drive a car..

13 Name: Anonymous : 2006-07-21 06:09 ID:Heaven

another hikky is born ITT

or maybe he already is

or maybe it's trolling, hard to tell

14 Name: Animegirl : 2006-07-21 13:55 ID:TZP5p4Tm

>>8
Use breath mints!

15 Name: Anonymous : 2006-07-21 18:31 ID:tsxLzAE0

>>3
Close enough and average I'd say

>>5
It feels more like they are invading my space. I don't really have problems with standing close to unknown girls but when our faces are close I feel violated and very uncomfortable.

>>8
Hi! I'm not sure if I'm mentally ill, but if I went to a psychologist it would be likely that they would diagnose me with something because I'm too diffrent from normal people. Also, both my parents are mentally ill. I'm sorry about your situation. Are you unhappy?

16 Name: Anonymous : 2006-07-22 01:59 ID:Heaven

Although this thread is made of useful and awesome, I have a suggestion that's simple and might work. Breath loudly and heavily. It makes you look like a freak. For best effects, don't brush your teeth before you go out. Or belch in public. Farting crosses the line, but belching is considered a workable solution in this area.

Failing all of this, stare at people, that always makes them look away, I should know, lolololol

17 Name: Anonymous : 2006-07-22 20:04 ID:U09arJvt

>in other words: he's extremely gay

What are you, twelve? Being gay is not a psychosis.

>>1
I guess you made this thread to get sympathy for this "awful" thing you experienced. I rather feel sorry for you feeling bad for "having to go out." Maybe it's not that bad, but the fact that you don't want to go out at all this summer can mean that you have a social phobia.

Shutting yourself in is not healthy.

>>16, that's disgusting.

18 Name: 8 : 2006-07-22 22:06 ID:ssGnvF4y

>>1
How are you doing ?
Are you in a state of "hikikomori" ?
Do you usually stay home all day long everyday ?

> Are you unhappy ?

With my English ability,it's very tough to explain exactly what I want to say. But I'll give it a try,because I wanna be your friend. well,only on the internet though.lol.
Of course,I feel unhappy.But objectively speaking,may be I'm not unhappy.
We Japanese have a proverb says 禍福は糾える縄の如し(kafukuwa azanaeru nawano gotosi ),which means both happyness and unhappyness are each different aspect of one thing.
I think it's a little bit different meaning from the original. lol
Probably I failed to explain because of my poor English.
Since I have no friends,I've been feeling loneliness during
whole my life.from the standpoint,I'm surely unhappy.I've got
something important in my life instead.I've had a lot of time to read books such as philosophy and a lot of time to study English,so that I could met you here on the internet.
Don't you think it's a good thing ? Thank you for your reading.
see you next time.

19 Name: Anonymous : 2006-07-23 03:44 ID:smiTB33J

>What are you, twelve? Being gay is not a psychosis.

Not anymore, anyway.

Gradually people come to accept things like that, just like they will eventually come to accept sociopaths and lolicon.

20 Name: Anonymous : 2006-07-23 08:38 ID:Heaven

>>19 lol wishful thinking

21 Name: Anonymous : 2006-07-23 08:59 ID:Heaven

>>19 Totally agree

22 Name: Anonymous : 2006-07-23 18:47 ID:1rBqlJPG

>>19
wishful thinking

23 Name: Anonymous : 2006-07-23 19:56 ID:U09arJvt

>>18
It's great that study english on your own, but it's sad that you have no friends.

Do you have a job?

24 Name: Otaku Hikki : 2006-07-24 12:01 ID:DHDEGmZd

>>18

I don't have friends either so I know how it feels. Your English is pretty good and it seems you are intelligent since you are into philoshophy. I think I understand the idea behind happiness and unhappiness in the same thing as in the object reflects differently to others based on the person perceiving it. A person has these two qualities of opposite extreme in perfection of an abstract idea but since human perception is not perfect and filtered by whatever obstacles or filters that makes the shape different from the perfect shape. I'm simply constructing the idea given by you and using the ideas I borrowed from the ancient Greek, Plato. You know I alot of philosopher lives in seclusion from other since their idea and vision of the world is different than the majority in which society imposes. If in that time, having a different set of system of belief can get one killed. There one guy from ancient Greek named Pyro, sorry I don't remember how to spell his exact name, he is follower of sceptic school of thoughts, much like nihilism, in which he believes nothing exist, it's an extreme of scepticism. That man lives alone in seclusion. He doesn't believe any of essense like a soul or mind exist since it cannot be proven, due in part to our flawed perception as in perception that cannot be proved if its real or not. Since there are many philosophers that got these kinds of ideas and incorporate them into their own. It little like traditions, people pass down their knowledge to new generations, and hence whatever came to be now are from the past.

I have have a set of different ideas and beliefs so I don't fit in with the mainstream, in addition to some of my problems that I don't want to discuss here, or they may not be problems at all but are imposeed by society politics and traditions, such rules that is given rights and importance, as in like psychology , if you have this condition, then you have a problem, a problem that is incompatitble with the current politics and views, and thus you are wrong, therefore you need to be cured of this symptom. Nothing is absolute certain. Our common sense is what gives objectives as facts.

I'm a person with a ideal different than the majority, I personally don't like the way it is. I'm sure you feel the same, thats the reason I'm an otaku, and live like a hikki. I don't feel connected to the outside world or the real world, actually I'm not connect at all. I think in my life I've been living in my dreams and fantasy and fear. I see that you made an effort to meet people all over the world, I'm glad you are here with us. I 've read a fair of bits and pieces of many subjects here and there but never studied in depth about it.

I would be glad to have you as a friend. Just stay in touch with this board.

25 Name: 8 : 2006-07-25 09:52 ID:EtbzmW/c

>>24
Wow.Give me a break.lol Never would have I thougt that I'd discuss philosophy with someone In English.
Your English is beyond my understanding.I can't be your friend.lol.and I thought that the word "intelligent"is suitable for you, not me.You understand perfectly what I want to say.I've read some books about Plato In Japanese and know about outline of his thoughts.He called the perfect shape "idea" or "eidos".But I've never known about Pyrrhon.
Now ,I have to say good-bye to you because I'm struggling with your English sentences .
anyway,it'll take me a couple of days to understand your posting.lol you became my English teacher who impose lots of homework.

26 Name: Anonymous : 2006-07-25 14:05 ID:5w/lmfkk

>>19 cheers!

27 Name: 2SD : 2006-07-26 10:25 ID:DShWLuZb

>>7
He's just a shy person, and he's different from you people who consider themselves normal by being able to flirt with girls.
>>1
>>18
>>24
You guys are my friends...

28 Name: Anonymous : 2006-07-26 20:52 ID:U09arJvt

Hikikomoris make me sad. I feel bad for you guys :(

29 Name: Anonymous : 2006-07-27 09:05 ID:yW31Jo1l

I guess I just can't imagine what would turn anyone into a hikki. I mean, I don't go out often, and I don't really like to talk to other people, but I don't panic or something.

Also, everyone, would you consider beeing hikki to be some kind of disease/mental illness, from which one could be/would want to be healed? (Sorry if that last question sounds rude... i'm just very curious...)

30 Name: Anonymous : 2006-07-27 09:45 ID:f8KGZ8UI

what is most horrible about hikkies
is that these guys have no future. no education. no good job. no future. you are just wasting your life :( I was hikky for a year.
it feels totally horrible now, when I lost some opportunities in life. escaping into the world of fiction is so easy now. internet
cost very little now, so one could just download unlimited amount of movies/mp3s/pictures and just live in the fiction world. escaping from fantasy world is really hard.
lol sorry for my english

31 Name: Troll!!6MhJ5+eg : 2006-07-27 10:22 ID:w/v2SbXD

It's not hard to meet new friends. I don't really like company and I like to be alone but I can go with people well if I want to.

32 Name: Anonymous : 2006-07-27 17:09 ID:U09arJvt

>Also, everyone, would you consider beeing hikki to be some kind of disease/mental illness

Of course it is. It can also be called a social phobia.

33 Name: Anonymous : 2006-07-28 01:31 ID:5sIQqNke

>>32
probably a combination of agoraphobia and social phobia.

34 Name: 1 : 2006-07-28 12:39 ID:EkReXkCt

>>18
I guess you could say that. I've been home for about 4 months now and the number of times I've been outside during this time can be counted on one hand.

I understand what you're trying to say. I think many people have problems with being alone, and occasionaly so do I, but mostly I can't say it bothers me. I've never found to have much in common with most people and I can't say I've ever connected to another person in a way that would make human relationships seem fulfilling or worthwile.

It's great that you read philosophy and study English and I think if I could live alone all my life doing the things I want I would be happy but it seems like you want something more, am I right?

35 Name: Anonymous : 2006-07-29 01:45 ID:5CE9glYJ

what I want to know is how do NEET hikkis living by themselves survive? where do they get money from?

36 Name: Anonymous : 2006-07-30 00:53 ID:BKD2NJH0

>>35
don't they usually just live in their parents' house? at least that's how it is in japan, from what i understand

37 Name: lucky13 : 2006-08-03 09:56 ID:fp9bS9+c

I live at home with my parents, but they constantly bugged me about a job, so now I work like 14 hours a week. The rest of the time I spend at home, watching films, anime and playing video games.

Frankly, I understand it. If I was in that situation, I would feel quite uncomfortable too. It isn't that he is mentally ill or anything. It is just timidity. I am quite shy and my social skills, to say the least, are lacking. All my dreaming and isolation has done nothing to prepare me for the real world. I have common sense and common skills, it is life skills that I ultimately lack.

38 Name: Otaku Hikki : 2006-08-04 06:03 ID:DHDEGmZd

>>30

I live like a hikki, no friends and all that. I admit it seems like I have no hope with no future, but I'm going to do something about it, actually I have a plan that is not yet decided and still subject to change under different circumstances. It seems like you got a way from it and seem proud of it, if that is the case what do you in your life and what is your age?

>>34

If you staying home for that long without going out much, then I assume you don't go to school?

What is your age and what you do in your life?

>>37

It seems like you don't go to school?

What is your age?

Basically why don't you people talk about what you do and what your experiences are and so on. Maybe there is something we can learn from eachother and seek help or help ourselves on our own. I'm interested what you guys gonna say.

39 Name: Anonymous : 2006-08-04 13:26 ID:fp9bS9+c

>>38

Nah. I don't go to school. I don't do much of anything really.

My manager is going away in October and I get a bit more hours and different times. I have to work with this girl that I don't know and I am the senior. I am not looking forward to it. I don't feel comfortable about it and I feel like it would be really awkward.

40 Name: Anonymous : 2006-08-04 13:31 ID:fp9bS9+c

I should mention I am 19 at the moment and basically I have a hard time being motivated about anything other than the basics like anime, film and gaming. I will never get over my timidity and interact with people well, but I want to be a filmmaker with all my heart and I am willing to work hard and get out to make it happen. I feel like it isn't my time yet though, but I can't stand thinking I did nothing with my life.

41 Name: Anonymous : 2006-08-04 15:42 ID:JHDg7lLP

>>37
I'm in the exact same situation, only insted of work I go to community college. And I'm now 21.

42 Name: Anonymous : 2006-08-04 20:28 ID:bt5T1hQX

Social/people skills come with experience, you don't need to be ashamed or afraid - nothing bad will happen to you, it's only your own fear of the unknown that makes you uneasy. With enough good experience with people, you'll get used to communicate with them.

43 Name: Anonymous : 2006-08-06 21:51 ID:fp9bS9+c

I was technically a hikki for a long period of time before I went and got a job, but as long as I do something related to what I like, I have no problem going there. The truth is that I really hate the outdoors though. And I am Australian. It sounds weird, but everything I want is here in my room, or I can easily get it.

44 Name: Anonymous : 2006-08-07 18:56 ID:ac+UIRY9

I've been stuck at home for a couple of days now, and I have yet to see sunlight. Most of it is against my will-- my mom refuses to take the shutters off the windows, I can't drive, and somehow I'm supposed to carry out a socially normal life. With a little more money in my pocket, I can then go about declaring that I have everything in the world that I need in my room (fridge, games, anime, manga, really nice dolls, baking stuff, lots of yarn, sewing machine, loads of books, flowers, an evil laboratory, etc. etc.) Granted, I'm a little shy when I first meet people, and half of the time complete strangers scare me like hell, but I have managed to make a few friends. Lately the problem I've been having is that the people I meet are overly talkative. I suppose something like that is supposed to balanace everything out; I'm mostly a listener, but without trying to offend anyone I mostly get talked over, and assume the role of breathing-blob-you-can-talk-at. I'm a pretty nice person, but instances like these make me crawl back into my cave and finger paint on the walls. The real world can be immpersonal and cruel at sometimes which is something that most people can generally accept--most.

45 Name: Anonymous : 2006-08-16 13:21 ID:EukK2z5R

Since I came home from college I have been depressed, lonely; I have no job, no money, no life. I can probably count on both hands how many times I've been out (for recreation). I don't like hanging out with the same friends all the time and nearly all of them don't want to just chill. They want to go out, which requires money. We only have one car, so I have to get a job nearby if I want to make some cash, and I live in suburbia. There aren't many places of employment near my house, and I'll need money to get my career started too, commuting to Manhattan is expensive. My modes of escape include video games, the net, movies, TV, and of course...sleep.

On top of this, I live with a compulsive hoarder, so the environment literally sucks the life out of me. It's very hard to get motivated to do anything.

46 Name: Anonymous : 2006-08-16 21:46 ID:U09arJvt

>>45
Get a job and change your environment.

47 Name: Anonymous : 2006-08-17 04:26 ID:EukK2z5R

I'm looking for a job, but availabilty here is hard to come by. Job first, then environment. I just had an interview today...jackass.

48 Name: Otaku Hikki : 2006-08-20 11:15 ID:DHDEGmZd

>>45

What kind of career are you going for?

49 Name: Anonymous : 2006-08-26 21:10 ID:EukK2z5R

Media, particularly film or television. I still have an internship to do before I graduate. The school is useless in finding one, need to build my network.

50 Name: Anonymous : 2006-09-01 17:56 ID:WlBuOUii

I went outside 2 days ago. The day after that, yesterday, I felt very hyper and had these twitches and kept clapping my thumb and fingers together. I was also screaming and repeating words and phrases in my head, mostly "blueberry jam". When lying in bed that night, unable to sleep, I wrote a draft for a short novel, in my head.
Both my parents have been patients at mental hospitals at some time.

51 Name: Anonymous : 2006-09-01 18:05 ID:EukK2z5R

My parents should be institutionalized for their own good.

I've started going out on walks. I don't want my muscles to become atrophic. I've worked too hard for this body.

52 Name: Anonymous : 2006-09-26 22:27 ID:cx8h8Xkb

I had to return a comic today so I took the tram to the library. After a few stops a good looking, slim girl with blond hair sat down in front of me. Almost immediately she started touching her hair and kinda playing around with it for a while. I found it very arousing. When she finished she had her hair behind her ears which I thought was cute. I got a urge to kiss her neck and ears, and smell her hair. Naturally, I didn't. Later, when she started looking to her sides I got very distressed. That's my story of the day.

53 Name: Anonymous : 2006-09-27 12:54 ID:Heaven

>>52
Go outside more.

54 Name: Anonymous : 2006-09-27 14:38 ID:Heaven

>>53
no u

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