ITT, we take the weirdest english songs we can think of, and try to convert them into preppy english.

Win is if no one can figure out what song your conversion is from.

Example:
X - Sick for motorbike, I was daydreaming alone
O - With much longing for for my motor-assisted bicycle, I spent my time alone, daydreaming.

I'll start:

It has been raining for five days now, and it has caused my knife to begin to rust away.
Fortunately, i'm still able to slice apples. Porter, can you assist me in this matter?

It has been raining for six days now, and has left my meat half cooked.
I do not enjoy trying to complete any task faster than normal. Ruler, would you place your foot on my ass?

I'm sorry my dear, but it has all come to an end.
My brain has ceased it's expansion.
A tree is identified based on the fruits it grows.
I consider my being to no longer be alive.

It's been raining for seven days now, and fortune is no longer by my side.
I am like a runner who has gone off the track and no longer knows where he is.
Breeder, will you punish me for my actions?

It's been raining for many days now, and the climate continues to become colder every day.
The armed man defending the country asked to be excused from his duties.
Waiter, may I politely request some tea for myself?