and woke up among the ruins of
the infernal dread lord nalthanlok's smoldering throne
hispa kek
, as it was commonly known by. He
shakily stood up and walked over to
The gentle breeze and the futility of existence
suddenly came upon him, causing his mind
to achieve a higher state of incredible
gay arousal. His identity was revealed as
Dante from the Devil May Cry Series
in rainbow lettering, flashing over the screen.
He let his red leather jacket drop
revealing that, in fact, he was naked
except for stiletto heels. With a smirk,
he unveiled his cough syrup suppositories and
decided to take a walk to the
querés bajar y nos fajamos boludo? Querés bajar y nos fajamos? Porque ya me artaste tarado, YA ME ARTASTE ESTÚPIDO, QUÉRES BAJAR Y NOS FAJAMOS? Entonces terminala hermano, terminala, terminá de bardearme, ME ESTAS BARDEANDO DESDE HOY LOCO, ME ESTAS BARDEANDO DESDE HOY ESTÚPIDO, ESTÚPIDO! TERMINALA, terminala!
" resounded through the countryside, disrupting his walk
and assaulting his senses. An angry Argentinian
gently assaulted Dante's hairy navel, forcing him
to messily orgasm all over his stilettos.
I don't want to write a story 7 words at a time because people will count my words and pass judgement on me if there are too many of them, therefore I refuse to participate.
" complained a tremendous faggot. Who was subsequently
scrutinized for wordcount and judged. Meanwhile, Dante
was basking in the navel orgasm afterglow
, he realized that an angry dwarf had
stolen his precious stilettos. Furious, he decided
on the uncontrovertedly flat shape of Earth,
and went for tea. So, to
relieve himself of this newly found furiousness,
he consumed huge amounts of tea and
said out loud, "now this is epic"
as he urinated on a Fortnite dancer.
So relieving and refreshing was this sequence,
that Dante immediately achieved total inner peace
and became enlightened. He ascended into the
pentadimensional realm, where he met the maker:
Squeeks, who looked down on Dante with
a glee in his eye that could
only mean trouble. "My name is Squeeks
the Squirrel, an illustrious red-eyed albino,"
said Frederico, only pretending to be
Squeeks, who was on vacation in Hell.
He did an interpretive dance to indicate
there was a large pile of fecal
matter located on top of his head
and elevated himself to the status of
"First S-JIS character to be President of
The Democratic People's Republic of Korea". That
status finally allowed Squeaks to rule the
small corner of shit sewer he likes.
A strange man then approached Squeaks and
spelled his name correctly, causing the heavens
to smell what the rock was cooking
, which happened to be made of squirrels.
A common delicacy of the time, enjoyed
by the highest of french nobility, who
are highly homosexual, being french. The french
are very proud of their squirrel meat
because they are homosexuals, who eat squirrels.
From the shadows came five komodo dragons
who didn't enjoy eating squirrels as much
because they aren't homosexuals, who are french.
However, they are big cocaine enthusiasts. The
komodo dragons snorted cocaine and began to
. "I will not finish eating you if
you tell me how much wood a
black man can haul in his truck."
Of course, there was no correct answer
as it depends on the man himself.
In God's mind, the whole situation was
out of existential bounds, leading to post-modernism
and great industrialization all across the land.
meal, specially prepared for him by his
mother fresh from the gaming oven. Moreover
, the meal was delicious. It had extra
green onion and an egg. This way,
there was no need for extra sauce.
The manufacturers of the Yoshinoya gamer meals
Did not realize that their product
only included six words on the packaging
this made it illegal, ingredients aren't listed.
This prompted an investigation by the International
Anyways, >>1, please listen to me. That it's really related to this thread.
I went to 4-ch a while ago; you know, 4-ch?
Well anyways there was nobody there at all, and I almost fucked right back off.
Then, I looked at the thread at the top of the page, and it had "ITT we write a story 7 words at a time no more no less only 7 words please thank you in advance." written on it.
Oh, the stupidity. Those idiots.
You, don't come to 4-ch just to write a story 7 words at a time, fool.
It's only 7 words, SE-VEN WORDS for crying out loud.
There're even entire families here. Family of 4, all out for some 4-ch, huh? How fucking nice.
"Alright, daddy's gonna post an expired meme." God I can't bear to watch.
You people, I'll type in your captcha if you post on /dqn/ instead.
4-ch should be a bloody place.
That tense atmosphere, where two guys on opposite sides of the song thread can start a fight at any time,
the stab-or-be-stabbed mentality, that's what's great about this place.
Women and children should screw off and stay home.
Anyways, I was about to start posting, and then the bastard beside me goes "How do you pronounce 4-ch?"
Who in the world pronounces 4-ch nowadays, you moron?
I want to ask him, "do you REALLY want to pronounce 4-ch?"
I want to interrogate him. I want to interrogate him for roughly an hour.
Are you sure you don't just want to try saying "4-ch"?
Coming from a 4-ch veteran such as myself, the latest trend among us vets is this, breaking the thread rules.
That's right, breaking the thread rules. This is the vet's way of posting.
Breaking the thread rules means derailing the thread. But on the other hand it's way funnier than following them. This is the key.
And then, it's DQN quality. This is unbeatable.
However, if you post this then there is danger that you'll be marked by the moderators from next time on; it's a double-edged sword.
I can't recommend it to amateurs.
What this all really means, though, is that you, >>1, should just stick with finding VIP, DQN or IAA on your ID.
", was broadcast during the investigation, causing confusion
among the International Yoshinoya Society, who didn't
approve manipulating the world famous Yoshinoya rant
into something that was genuinely funny. Once
the shock of it had passed, they
assembled a team of experts in order
to find the terrorist who did this.
After a three day investigation, the culprit
was revealed to be none other than
Dante from the Devil May Cry Series.
He was condemned to having to eat
Costco's bulk cat food and a little
bit of urethra worms. How horrible! He
proceeded to shovel the cat food, worms
and all, into his mouth. The taste
Was actually rather good, but his stomach
was no urethra, and the worms wanted
to Kanto to Pokémon GO™ to the
toilet, where he shat out the worms
who proceeded to climb into his urethra.
But suddenly he decided to vote Democrat
but the ballot fell down his urethra
so he climbed into his urethra to
retrieve it. Please do not ask how.
Since cock self-vore was Frederico's fetish,
Frederico started to 'feel something about to happen.'
And then something happened. In his pants.
Which was impressive, since he wasn't wearing
His patented cock shaft expander, a novelty
designed to be as realistic as possible
in 80% of all situations. He summoned
the strength of the individual known as
Bartholomew the pussy bender who hated fags.
Bartholomew grabbed the nearest cat and bent
his 7 year old son over his
cat, and gently but thoroughly de-liced them.
He then burned a bundle of sticks
or twigs, also known as a faggot
(a term trademarked by Christopher "moot" Poole)
sacrificing cat and child upon the flames,
pleasing the faggot gods, who in return
elevated Bartholomew to become a gay sage.
Bartholomew then sagely observed, "4-ch is dead."
"tired of this meme", however, unbeknown to
Bartholomew, a challenger approached from Dante's urethra:
Tokiko, god of urethra worms, had awoken.
The final confrontation was about to begin
after another 700 posts. In fact, it
couldn't possibly begin until they reached Namek.
Namek was located in Squeeks' navel, thus
the world was covered in lint, and
unsuitable for sustaining any form of life
making any battles there impossible, moreover, Squeeks
Suddenly something appears out of nowhere, it's
a heinous grammatical mistake. The combatants immediately
paused their duel in order to correct
this affront against the elitist superstructure. They
pulled out their urethra worms and aimed
at the grammatical mistake. A direct hit
cut the capital S down to size.
Which was good, because S eight nine
What the FUCK is that a joke?
Suddenly, Gimli appeared, swinging his maidenly buttocks.
"And my Axe!" he said, his deodorant
reeking across the land, to great disgust
Nazi Hellbeast from Below the Hollow Earth
awakened within the stilettos. This was the
plot twist that Gimli did Nazi coming.
"I've had enough of your jokes" said
a man of somewhat Spanish ancestry, which
contractions count as one or two words?
" screamed the Spaniard, who was actually a
grammarian. Offended, Gimli sprayed him with copious
amounts of cough syrup and small mammals.
The Spanish grammarian was allergic to these
gay ass nigger faggots who suck dick
which made him die instantly. Later that
day, the Spanish navy attacked the gay ass
of Gimli in retaliation. Alas, before that;
the retribution arrived momentarily. Truth be told
, the Spanish grammarian did not actually die
, but rather, became a sort of homosexual.
It was a heinous scheme to lure
in faggots from the dreaded lands of
hispachan. The only one who could save
the world was Aang, but we know
that he's busy sucking big donkey dick.
Thus, the world fucking ended when hispachan
decided to let a big one out
into a freshly opened can of zero
sugar added semen, sourced from our friend
Dante, who subsisted on a diet of
his own semen and tokiko farts. This
resulted in a huge fucking worldwide explosion.
which was pretty cool if you ask
Megumin, who unfortunately died in the explosion.
The world is now destroyed. Nothing remains
will never find a hole to fill
with a glopping noise. But through abiogenesis,
life finds a way, eventually. It would
take 10000000000000 years, but eventually, an anus
would be formed. A penis takes longer,
but in due time, Dickbutt was born.
As the only sentient being currently alive,
it trademarked itself as Lilith. Kaworu won't
find anyone worthy of his grace unless
someone with style and a funny face
orgasms messily all over his stilettos. The
-man, or MSFOTSHVNTRWMHman for short, stood up
and drooled mindlessly, since he wasn't sentient.
And yet, he was a strong man.
Dickbutt admired the man's strength so much,
that he opened his butt for MSFOTSHVNTRWMHman.
They had many butt babies, and repopulated
the world with horrible abominations. They all
resembled the wretch once known as "Squeeks."
Squeeks, of course, was on vacation in
fortunately they all had a life expectancy
Squeeks was on vacation in life expectancy.
Famous for its stroopwafels, Life Expectancy was
considered a hot tourist destination by many,
truly sophisticated traveler," mused Squeeks, rather disappointed.
Nigger nigger chicken dinner nigger nigger nigger,
Proceeded heaven, who was a wise sage
,knower of stuff. The meaning of this
cannot be fully fathomed by mere mortals,
so everyone ignored it and moved on.
Going back to Squeeks, he was furious
yet somewhat sluggish, because during his vacation
urethra worms from his cranial fecal matter
ate too many stroopwafels, becoming morbidly obese.
Squeeks considered removing the feces, the weight
was hurting his weak little legs, but
alas, the smell was just too good.
"Poopums, the magical wonder," he sighed wistfully.
His love for fecal matter would eventually
lead to his demise; the pressure on
his cranium caused him to gradually be
a brain damaged retard. Now retarded, Squeeks
no longer felt a spiritual connection to
tanasinn, as one must choose not to
delve into the knowledge of the fecal
God's absolute omniscience while having low IQ.
Eons later, Life Expectancy became the home
of the horrible abominations who all resembled
Squeeks. They built a statue of feces
in honor of their great (shitty) leader,
for them to worship five times daily.
In this society, the abominations that resembled
the unholy union between man and troll
known to us as Squeeks would regularly
smear shit all over their milky bodies
in an erotic manner, which pissed off
Killing a beast in a godly way
, KaBiaGW for short, who was a vampire.
Such was his anger that his veins
would shoot out of his asshole, requiring
the noted specialist in vampire hemorrhoids, Dr.
Jijotion (that was what the captcha said)
(although the captcha is known to lie)
(causing suspicion that her name was Jamution.)
This can't be, I'm in charge here!
" Smith to fly into his anus to
initiate a transformation into a large pine.
"ksshhhhk roger roger ksshhhk khsskkk" and thus
KaBiaGW died a horrible and painful death.
and was never heard of again. Meanwhile
the abominations had started developing technology such
as
machine which breeds niggers like rabbits
. Basque niggers, to be exact. Of course,
it just wouldn't be a jamberoo without
rapidly breeding Basque niggers. Such a jamberoo
nigga nigga nigga, where all 9 years old
it wouldn't last much longer, because soon
disturbing thoughts whether digits count as words
would enter the minds of all involved.
What is a word, anyway? No one
but a grammarian knew, let alone cared.
All throughout Life Expectancy could be heard
the shivering shrieks of short sheikhs shuffling
the rhythm of the boogie the beat.
With such a ruckus, it's no wonder
they couldn't hear the sounds made by
my violent masturbation and vigorous
urethral sounding.
Penis in hand, I made my stand.
"No Nut November? More like Eternal September."
because time waits for no one, and
Invade New Zealand which had still existed.
Life Expectancy and New Zealand had been
at bloody war for 500000000000 years now.
I mean, it was this sort of
circlejerk contest more than anything, but that
it had two foci, really an elipticaljerk
One was Squeeks, whose loyalties were divided
with, uh, a plastic knife and fork.
This message was brought to you by
Chef Tokiko, the other elipticaljerk foci. The
race was on, as referee 0037 displayed
the filthy remnants of his prolapsed bunghole.
The History class teacher began to review
The story of my 300GET to Tokiko,
but it was so boring he fell
asleep peacefully on my horizontal belt sander.
While sleeping, he dreamed of Mario making
an altar to the great god king
and putting a bomb inside of it.
Incredibly aroused, Tokiko came profusely while sleeping
and declared loyalty to our Führer, Mr.
almighty cock, and began to suck it.
Suddenly, the belt sander turned on. Tokiko
was unaware that he was sleeping on
the lustful contender for Life Expectancy, Squeeks
And, then, the rope fullfilled its intention
of binding Tokiko eternally to Squeeks. During
their intimate lovemaking session. What happened next
you can find out by yourself, when
"Amazing Stories That Totes Ain't Bullshit" resumes
after these quick announcements from our sponsor,
Coca-Cola, which has just released a new
sexual lubricant, coca-cola flavored. Buy it today!
*Do not use near the anal area.
... What happened next would frighten even the
most retarded of retards, thus causing him
to have a very merry Christmas indeed.
The retard accepted his Christmas present of
The King's Hunka Hunka Burnin' Love and
he felt very happy with this gift
he put his hand in his pants
and began to peel the banana therein
, discovering the most terrifying thing he ever
felt. It was the feeling of being
dared to ever put in his mouth
the mysterious crotch banana. This magnetic compulsion
forced him to travel throughout the lands
where it was the year 2020 already.
He squeezed the banana and it dripped.
all over Colin Mochrie's exposed bare chest.
Suddenly Colin Mochrie started transforming into a
US president, and launched predator drones at
The Socialist People's Republic of Uranus. This
banana is getting out of control, spraying
lemon juice over Sonic's brand new dress.
Sonic and Colin Mochrie form an alliance
to discover what was hidden under Obama's
Chaos Emeralds. Obama chuckled as he watched
the banana action reaching new, previously unseen
tier of sexually charged violence. Obama foresaw
his own death by snu snu, so he decided to
commit heroism via suicide by lewd banana
transformation. Obanana moaned blissfully as Colin peeled
his soft, yellow skin. Colin then said:
"Black, orange, and now yellow. Presidential colors!"
Direction and screenplay by Lars von Trier
, who was subsequently tried and executed for
appealing to the wrong fetishists, pissing-off others
, such as: foot fetishists, cuckolds, furries etc.
Feeling betrayed, they organize The Society for
Pissed-off Fetishists, a terrorist organization notorious for
getting not only pissed off, but pissed on.
That was eight words, my bad.
Such were the dangers of this organization.
Their most recent act involved the kidnapping
of Squeeks's personal cum gremlin. Gremlin activists
suddenly swarmed the streets, denouncing the crime
of cumming in and around but never
inside women, not helping Japan's birth rates.
Realizing this problem, Abe swirled with rage.
Please help me！This is act of terrorism in Japan！
Japan is famous for sloppy management of electromagnetic wave.
Japanese society Has become serious thing behind the scenes.
Electromagnetic wave is secret globally.
But some of Japanese capitalists abusing it that secret.
They slander Japan and Japanese people and other country(America and others), and attack and threaten civilian,suggest that murder,Threaten to kill,using electromagnetic wave all of them.
They are haughty terrorist with state power.
I know that they are so crazy. Because I have spent with them every day by policy.
They talk to me with communication all day and all year around！
They say
「Drop dead!」「I kill you」
「Kxxl Amexxcan army」
「Kxxl policemen」
「Kxxl child by running over」
「His Majesty the Emxxxor is here！(Tenxxxheika)」
「I kxxl Shi○zou Abe」「This is Jewish！(Yudayajinda!)」
「We don`t have to take responsibility」
and the others・・・
They tell terrible things to me using some name of authority.
It seems like they are dissatisfied with society.They take it out on me.
They harass me when I living. In defecation and sex and dangerous work and bedtime and the others・・・
I think it`s a limit of a single person and the general public. It is so bad degree.
And they abusing child and animal using avatar(electromagnetic wave).Sometimes use violence on me with avatar.
And they playing pretend of homeless and handicapped person with avatar.
There are many people who don`t know the common sense in Japanese authorities.
They are shame of Japan,but I think that should not forgive their action for society.
Japan can`t take a cooperative attitude In the field of electromagnetic wave use.
Japan need the help of other countries.It is the reality.
Please spread the information.Please help japanese people and avatar.
Thank you for your cooperation. I wanna be free！！！！
Ichirou Matsushita
※Thess aaree Imagmation.I am afraid of Japanese government and Japanese law. I never know what the government will do next
" screamed a crazy retard who immediately died
from forgetting to breathe. Abe decided to
rage war against the south get assassinated
due to his total grammar breakdown offending
every person in history that has ever used
used 4-ch, so about five people total.
Those five people were so offended that
they broke every rule imaginable to exact
lame and petty revenge against the Japanese
animes. Their necromantic ritual to resurrect 4Kids
begins at midnight, with an offering of
Dante's stilletos, which were stolen during the
attack by the Fire Nation, but they
did not foresee that Gimli had defiled
long run-on sentence. As a result,
the fire nation attacked, cornering everyone that
ever used 4-ch. It was too late,
the Amazon rainforest was already on fire.
"Post deleted." isn't seven words, you asshole.
And now for some thing completely different.
That "something" is bumping ancient dead threads.
'tis why we can't have nice things.
>>392
“Three hundred and ninety one: Post Deleted.”
And so, the story resumed its telling.
Unfortunately, we had all forgotten where the
point where we had left was, so
our story began anew: it was a
homoerotic fanfic from the beginning this time.
longed for the taste of his magnificent
all beef chili. The secret ingredient was
the freshest spinach in all the land.
Kirby was just in the process of
harvesting spinach from his pubic garden, when
Captain Jack Sparrow, the legendary pirate, suddenly
burst in, his exposed member flailing wildly
in helicopter fashion. He exclaimed, "Stop blowing
yourself, when you could be blowing me!”
Preoccupied with starting bad threads about China,
"what the actual fuck am i doing?"
So he went outside, taking time to
start a bunch more bad threads first.
"Oh no, my captcha doesn't work!"
Desperate to leave his vile mark on
Adam Curtis' forehead, he proceeded to take
a huge hit from his bong, before
the micropenis withered into fine pinkish dust.
A huge cock killed moot-kun
for posting six words and not seven.
(Maybe five. Is "moot-kun" two words?)
For posting thirteen words, maybe even fourteen
the thread derailed into a flaming trainwreck.
Flaming undead moot-kun intoned, "choo choo, motherfuckers!"
Charge Man was impressed and began to
ejaculate all over moot's gay faggot chin.
The steaming hot train robot jizz was
a calamitous catastrophe of degenerative coomer carnage.
This orgy of destruction would end, however
when anuses were posted on every board.
Such heinous sight would not be tolerated
except by a certain anus connoisseur named
Vladimir Pootin. Vlad was the president of
the Based Proto-Theocracy of Capitalist Prussia
until twoot cummed on all dem boiz
and, insodoing, inadvertently initiated the harbinging of
a global plague to surpass COVID-19, called
the Coomer Virus. Fortunately, the renowned epidemiologist
Einbert Alstein designed a device that would
identify carriers of the virus by spraying
gamer girl bath water on all the
thirsty orbiters simping for Pokimane's illustrious online
feet compilation 4k hdr dolby digital. China
threatened to Warp Digivolve all Tiktok users
unless King Dedede and kirby were able
to escort WANG BANG the rock man
of dedede defeat to the Holy Mountain
to bomb some dodongoes. He couldn't wait
to rip Xi's circumsized penis off his
face, where a nose should have been.
The surgeon who completed that operation was
Dr. Mario, the world-renowned expert in
Notorious for his curiously huge nose, among
other deformities, Dr Mario also had a
nasty case of herpes. Even so, he
skillfully amputatated—with a single strike—Xi's
the BBC filmed the proceedings with a
live commentary track by Sir David Attenborough.
Surprisingly, the resulting feature became tremendously popular
despite having the budget of twelve nuts
and the government of the masonic republic
granted an award to the documentary team.
The documentary team didn't accept the reward
The documentary team didn't accept the reward
despite being offered twice. "We only did
what the voices in our heads said
or Mr. Attenborough will skin us and
return our souls." This prompted the reporters
to repeat their MKULTRA activation phrase, which
was "Why is 4-ch so dead?"
(I think 4-ch is two words)
This, of course, killed the exchange and
the thread was overtaken by "gaynus" posting.
gaynus then went to prison and got
vaccinated. now that there is a microchip
him is instantly tracked and analyzed by
mr. tripfaggot will lead to aids resistance
but, alas, not run-on sentence resistance.
,a war crime under the grammar conventions
He blew marijuana smoke into the screen
and out came a baby named Iskwqpsjdbsowndsqosm.
But the baby didn't live long because
Elon Musk launched it into space, to
Mars and beyond that. We provide leverage
by shitposting on Channel4, the Internet's foremost
dead horse beating club. Then, the baby
wakes up and emits a cry of
"Orange man bad!" as Donald Trump's Twitter
got eventually banned for spreading misinformation to
butthurt SJWs. Elon Musk then used his
disproportionately young girlfriend, Grimes', Twitter fame to
harvest marriage proposal DMs from lonely nerds
before using misappropriated SpaceX technology to elope
with Satoshi Nakamoto, his one true love.
Meanwhile, Dante had been busy trying to
carjack a way back home without having
To listen to you retarded mongoloid faggots
finally finish this thread god dawn it
rocks fall, everyone is dead. the end.
cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks
And thus the niggers were hung from
