I got hooked on the internet since 1999. It started small, just an excuse to hang out with friends. If my friends wanted to be "online", well, so be it.
Eventually, people in the net-scene started suggesting I do the heavier stuff. Forums, BBS, and some of the more... obscure webpages. Not gonna lie, the stuff felt good; even made a name for myself in some circles.
I was hooked at that point, always looking for any new uploads. I didn't know at the time, but apparently the internet wears on you. You start to get used to the bullshit. Even the nasty shit the less reputable webmasters shovel wasn't enough at this point.
Well at some point (don't remember when, don't ask) somebody in a IRC lounge mentioned told me how butting alcohol up your ass is supposed to make you wasted faster or something. Well at this point I was pretty desperate to get that buzz from the internet again.

Not gonna sugar coat it, I shoved the internet up my ass.

After that my friends kept calling me: The goat man