so, here's my issue
i'm into this girl, and she broke up with her bf of about 8 or 9 months. her longest relationship. it's been a few weeks, and then i called her up and we decided to hang out. we went to the mall and ended up sitting around in this little closed out area. we started talking, cuddling, eskimo-kisses, etc. i'm sure that if i made the move we could have made out, but i dont think she's that kinda girl. so, we go our seperate ways, and i tell her that i have friday open from work (i work every day this week except) and that we should go see a movie...
she hasnt messaged me back, we talk once and a while, but i keep forgetting to bring up the movie. she doesnt seem to be as energetic as she used to be when talking to me. and idk, i'm getting a bad vibe. she also doesnt respond to my txt messages. she used to =P
so. what's going on, is there any advice to give, etc.
>>14
trust me. if i can get her to my house, with no one home then i will.
>>13
Learn the generic song (or the ending one), and tell her you really love this one when it comes on screen and sing along.
op here,
>>16
to be honest, i love juno xDDDD and so, i do actually know the lyrics to that song, and i do like it =P i like living where i do, because the guys arnt afraid to admit they like girly movies like Juno, so i dont feel so weird about it lol
>>17
Actually I do too. I think you got the idea then if you know the lyrics why it would be fun to sing that to her.
Apparently you paid too much attention to the movie.
OP here again
this is what's confusing me about her the most...
when i ask her if she wants to hang out, she'll kinda try to avoid the subject or just not answer if in a text message. It gives me the feeling that she really does not want to hang out with me at all ; ;
but then, when we really are hanging out in person it's like she's having the time of her life.
sooooo, just wondering if anyone know's what the fuck is goin on?
Well if you think about it she did just break up with her boyfriend that she had been going out with for a while it would be natural to be kind of disinterested with dating in general. She could be acting really happy around you in person because for her its a response to a certian situation possibly its just something she is used to. It could be she is just using you to get over her ex
well, nvm on how long she was dating her ex. it turns out to only have been 5 months =P i thought it was a lot longer. After about 2-3 weeks she should have sprung back from a short relationship yea?
I know that after breaking up with my ex, the last thing I wanted was to date anyone. I'd been clung to, subtly manipulated, and generally miserable, and it felt AMAZING to not belong to anyone.
Or she might have been hurt and simply not trust guys at the moment.
Do you know why she and him broke up? It might shed light onto the situation?
OP here,
well i guess i can understand why she would want to stay away from dating for a while. seeing as how the reason they broke up was because her BF broke up with her for another girl, who he is now dating.
so, i'll back off for a while.
and hopefully, no guy will make a move and get her before i do =P
It's recently occurred to me that I don't find ANY real girls (or guys mind you) attractive or desirable. I never have, and I probably never will. I'm nineteen, and I'm like this still. It started around when I was younger (read: 13) and stumbled upon hentai for the first time.
I've noticed an oddity about me. I do, however, develop feelings for anime girls once in a while. I usually obsess about them when I discover one for a period of quite some time. I set them as my desktop, save both work-safe pictures and ones not so work-safe, and even buy tons of merchandise (figures, posters, etc.) of these anime girls. I'd probably marry one of them if I could. They're just so moé that I just couldn't say no.
Anyways, my parents are pissed at me since I show no sexuality except for anime girls. They say I waste my money on "trash" instead of gifts for a "real girl." This is my money I earn from my job, and I spend it as I desire. Other than anime merchandise, I also save up to fund my college expedition, so it's not like I'm a NEET or anything.
Am I hopeless? Have I passed the point to develop sexuality for real women? Is it even possible to be an asexual human? Have I perhaps developed an anime sexuality that will get me nowhere in life? Should I just buy a hug pillow?
It's too bad your parents react that way, though.
My mother doesn't care at all.
'Course I am 33 now so maybe she just gave up.
>>11
Pretty much covered it.
I think people for whom organizing their life around pursuit of the opposite sex is standard procedure simply don't understand how enormous a project it would be for someone whose life isn't like that to "just go get laid."
Never mind the fact that for a lot of us, the sex act itself is barely even important. We care about who we're bonding body and soul with, not whether or not we happened to put tab A into slot B with somebody whose name we can't even remember. If I just want an orgasm, I can do that on my own.
At a more fundamental level—we've discovered we can efficiently trick our brains into producing the emotional output we want to feel. Why the hell would be go back to wasting enormous amounts of time in "real life" to accomplish the same thing?
Anime girls are awesome. This behavior was covered in Akihabara@deep, where Box-kun, the character whom obsessively changes gloves and only likes two-dimensional girls, is absolutely averse from the idea of dating a real girl.
Now where did I put the thread shredder?
its not hard to get laid.
...ok, mabey it is by some1 w/o herpies/aids/on a street corner, but still...
i thought >>1 sexually likes animals for a moment LMAO
and I though I didn't have a life...
>>14
Ohyeah, I know what you're talking about here. Surely I have never fallen for one of those as hard as I've fallen for real girls, and I can't help but constantly be reminded about the fact that there's some lonely, perverted palm-reaming jap who sat there kneading his sweaty, jism-oozing hardon while typing, who made up the characters. This kind of withdraws from the experience of falling for fictional charcters I find. Nonetheless it's possible, unless you also get frustrated by blatant plotholes and at times aggrivatingly shallow and undynamic personalities...
But still... Well it has happened once or twice, but I can still relate!
Hey I remember this awesome and totally sweet girlfriend simulator I played many years ago. "virtual wife" or something. It wasn't one of those shitty 3d-things, it was traditional 2d-art, very attractive style and finish, and the girl was very sweet. You could select personality/blood-type, body type, hair type etc. Then you would decide what to do for each day, and you'd go to work, come home and spend time with the girl, do shit and lastly give her a daily fuck(although sometimes she wasn't in the mood I guess)
Man I would love to play that game again, does anyone know what game I'm talking about?
The big problem is my version wasn't translated so I hardly understood shit, and I've been unable to rediscover it ever since.
Saying you're asexual means you can reproduce with yourself. And you're probably not an amoeba.
I don't think you're asexual at all. You find yourself getting attracted to women in anime at the least. Infact, I think you've conditioned yourself into the position you're in right now!
For years, (And to overuse this word), I conditioned myself into yellow-fever, to the point where I would only like, consider and look at asian girls.
It's taken a lot of work, but now I can atleast say that I wouldn't discriminate a hot white girl from an average looking asian girl. Even still, I have a natural preferance now towards asians, and blah blah, but if you work at it, you'll return into the fold.
You're only 19, you still have a lot to experience in life. Wait till a girl gets close to you, accidently touches you or you notice the way she smells.
Not being perverted or anything ;p But sometimes it's the slightest thing that can attract us towards someone.
Okay my situation is a bit different then the typical 4-ch love woe. When I like someone, I know how to tell her I like her (I just tell her, "I like you.") and how to ask her out. ("Want to hang out?"
My problem is how to quickly move when unexpected opportunity arises. Here are three cases of things that have happened to me in the past:
Situation 1: I was waiting on the bus stop, listening to my cd player and a car with two girls pass by. For some reason I smile and a few minutes later, they pull up in the parking lot asking if I want a ride. For some reason I say...no thanks!! And then I kicked myself afterward.
Situation 2: Cute girl at the local Best Buy always smiled at me whenever I came in. One day she started asking questions about my life, school, etc. A PERFECT chance to ask her out! I didn't.
Situation 3: Two days ago I was done studying at the local starbucks on my laptop (okay, fooling around on then net...) and got up to go when this HOT girl was at the table with her computer smiling at me. I froze up and kept going....
I mean, I know I'm a shy guy, but when I have to I can make the first move. But when the girl is the one to start it, I'm caught off guard with no control and retreat!
So any help guys?
Well, I think the best you can do is put yourself in situation (ie go to your "casual dating scene") and get used to it. Also, be more confident (without becoming full of yourself) in the fact that you are attractive and that, obviously, women you meet have a good chance to be attracted to you. Once you have assimilated that fact, you're less likely to panic when a girl comes up to you.
But really, I'm taking a shot in the dark there.
LOL, i have the same problem and i decided to do someting about it. Approaching her is enough, that will give a sign that you are interested and ready to work for it. Ask her her name, or some other cheezy lines (it does work). Then suggest hooking up (name changing,phone numbers) and voila. Call her the next day and see how things turn out.
I do have to point that it never really hit off after a few dates, but i guess you have keep at it until it clicks...Sigh, so tiresome.
goodluck!
haha, I kind of have the same problem.
No problem making it known to a girl, but when a girl is hitting on me, I get caught off guard
Going out on a first date soon with a girl, don't really want to spend much more than $20 (or preferably, none) due to me being tight on cash for the next month (got laid off, but will be going back to school in early August so it's not worth really jobhunting). Any ideas?
I could always go for the standard coffee run, but that's kinda cliche. She and I are both big film buffs, so cooking dinner at my place and popping in a DVD of some obscure foreign film sounds good, but I've heard that cooking for a girl is not a good idea for the first date.
If anyone has any creative yet cheap ideas, give me a few!
I'm not sure about where you live, but many cities have free movies, concerts, and performances at local parks in summer. It would be the perfect romantic date - nomming on sandwiches, watching a movie/performance, laying on a blanket on a warm night... women love that stuff ( I think? ).
If you guys are into sports, you can have a nice friendly match at (Sport of your choice) in the local park.
Where do you live? In the suburbs and or the city? I took a girl walking around L.A. for a day and we had so much fun! I didn't really spend anything. If you're from the suburbs, I can't help you.
Where do you live? In the suburbs and or the city? I took a girl walking around L.A. for a day and we had so much fun! I didn't really spend anything. If you're from the suburbs, I can't help you.
>>8
most women don't dig that. for a date that is.
Ever try serenading her? Entertainment and just take some food out of your fridge or get some kinda of a cheap dinner. Dig out those coupons OP.
How about a public museum?
Ugh, the last thing I want on a first date is to listen to my probably untalented date sing.
I received news today that my crush's boyfriend popped the question. Normally I hold nothing against someone for things in the past, but I know they've only been dating for a month. She's only sixteen, and despite being mature for her age the tendency for bad decision making is still there. Her boyfriend is twenty, and I'm not sure if he's a quality guy. Apparently he treats her well.
I've been through some hard times in my life. Like near-death. And I really want her to avoid that by making positive decisions. Personally, I know their relationship probably won't last until she turns the big one eight. I won't capitalize on that though. It's beyond the point we could be anything but friends (hi, scared little bitch here), and I'm happy with that.
What should I say to her? I want her to be safe. If she gets pregnant or her boyfriend dumps her, I will beat him within an inch of his life. On the other hand, I will support her through anything.
Engaged at 16? Dating for only one month? Not to put too fine a point on it, but what kind of people are you hanging out with? O.o
I know this isn't what you want to hear, but you really need to move on. Idiots like that will be anchors that drag you down into trailortrashville given half a chance.
There's dumb, and there's dumb.
You are probably right. I'm about goddamn fed up with her games. We grew up together. We've both said the L-word again and again. I'm rich, attractive, educated, her parents love me, and I would give my right arm for her love ... but she still chooses to date emo losers.
I have a protective instinct towards her. I don't want her life to turn out badly if I can help it. But then again, losers breed losers. Should I just move on? I don't need poisonous elements in my life. I'm too busy to parent children, and that's essentially what I'm doing with her.
lol, he's probably the best guy ever.
> Should I just move on?
Yes.
Maybe in a few years she'll be worthwhile, but... don't waste your time on her until she is worthwhile. There are 3,500,000,000 other women on this plant, a dozen million where you're both each others' types.
This guy I've liked for years is coming to stay with me next week while searching for a new apartment for himself. He's going to stay the entire week and only has work one day of that week. Soooo I'm going to have a lot of time to fill. We've had various semi-sexual encounters in the past so I'm not really sure what angle to take on this. I also am socially dumb when it comes to planning things to do. I really would like to live with him in the future so I want this to leave a good impression. What sort of things should I do to make this a positive and relationship building experience?
It would help if you told us what kind of relationship you have with him and how old both of you are.
both in mid-twenties, we've had a relationship that is definitely more than friends but we havent ever dated
What do you think HE could be expecting from this encounter? Do you think he just asked you because you're close friends, or that he could have some motivation behind it?
Why does he stay a whole week if he only has a day of work?
he doesn't have anywhere else to stay at the moment. i dont know what motivation he has for doing this, though. its probably because we are close friends. however he has another person he could stay with so Im not sure. hes talked about us living together in the past fairly seriously too
Okay... so one thing you can do is probably be playful with him when he's here, over-acting the fact you're living together "for a while".
Also you could make a good dinner (complete with the dessert) on the day he works to surprise him when he gets back home.
As for organizing things... don't overstress that, you'll probably be able to come up with things on the fly. But maybe you should check to information points where you live for upcoming events or things to do. You could also wait until he arrives and do that with him so you can both decide what to do. It might even be better because you're implicating him.
For the last four years I've been friends with a girl (in the last months things have cooled down a little). Not a single time in these four years did I gather courage to tell her about my feelings. She is leaving in two weeks, leaving to some Nordic country and I don't think she's coming back. And here's my problem: I want to meet her for the last time before we'll part. Well, I'm a shy guy and I can't really just call her and say something among the lines of "hey, let's meet one last time before you'll throw me out of your memory". Would anyone please tell me what to do, give me some tips, or even encourage me?
Goodnight... and good luck!
keep us updated =D fingers crossed
I just got a mail form her. She has agreed, I'm going to meet her this Friday or in the weekend. It's awesome. You guys are awesome.
Holy crap, I'm happy, I'm so god-damn happy.
Actually, I'm so happy I'm crying.
It's great! Now do what you think is best on your meeting :)
Sorry to be blunt, but don't be so happy. She's still leaving and you don't even know how shit will work out.
Yo. My ex is moving away, and she hates it, I just finished screwing up with another girl, and suddenly out of nowhere i get a call from her, tho we havent tlked in months. She says if she werent going away she would want to get back with me, so I was thinking about going away presents as in showersex, a threesome, bathroom sex, and pretty much anything under the sun I could think of. Should. I. Go for it. Thats the question here. Also, any tips from ppl w/ experience will do quite nicely.
Peace.
Dang! I wanted the 1000th! haha
>>814
A small kindness lands you in the dreaded friend zone... FOREVER
I just want a friend with benefits.
I don't care, i'm not desperate to get gals, they flock all over me.
That friend zone is bullshit, that doesn't apply to everything, a mere overhyped theory.
So the girl I love and am trying to clumsily and slowly seduce is all friendly towards a friend of mine she met at parties. In the course of a week (yeah we party a lot) she looks like very close to him. I just noticed she added him on Facebook, while she told me she always waited for people to add her. It's either that or he added her, which would be as bad because she semi-hid her profile, so that would mean he has searched for her and added her - probably meaning he's interested too given the circumstances. If they end up together it would be the second friend of mine she'd be dating.
I hate my life right now.
>>819 looks like she's the straight forward kind of girl. may be u gotta be more assertive. if you go too slow, she might think you are not interested in her.
>>820
She knows it. I told her before. She was interested in that other friend at that time. Now I'm trying to act somehow indifferent and increase my "value", because I can't do any direct flirting 'cause she'd see it coming. I'm conscious it's probably useless. If she does end up with that second friend I guess I'm going to have to sever any contact for a few. I don't know.
I'm really not sure how to react.
Every potential relationship I've ever had has failed due to my passivity. They all have either ended in the girl thinking (1) I'm gay and have no interest in her, or (2) going far too slow until she got fed up with it. More recently, a girl has been taunting me with other guys. According to all of her friends, she's trying to see how I react. Well, naturally, I react like I always do and simply withdraw from said situation.
I'm the type a guy who meets a girl, likes her, and then gives up when the going gets serious. I question sometimes whether I'm depressed, apathetic, or just a huge pussy.
>>More recently, a girl has been taunting me with other guys. According to all of her friends, she's trying to see how I react. Well, naturally, I react like I always do and simply withdraw from said situation.
Call her out on that shit, don't take it lying down. Trust me, I know how you feel; one of my ex girlfriends did that to me after she left me for another person.
Speaking of which, I'm kinda at a weird point. Every relationship I've ever been in ended in the person cheating on me/leaving me for another person... and I am still hurt by one of those relationships a year ago. Also, I'm in an area where there are very very few girls my type. I mean, I can hook up with random people, but none of them are people I probably would be able to connect with on a relationship level...
...However, at the same time, I do miss the feeling of being in love, of yearning for someone, of loving someone and being truly loved in return. I haven't been in a relationship in a year, and I haven't been truly in love and loved in return in 4 years. However, I'm going to wait until school starts back in August to worry about it, I guess...
Why bother? If I jerk off, she won't bother me nearly as much. Deep down I don't actually enjoy her company apart from touching. I have financial issues right now, and I'm trying to get back into school. Seriously, my days of partying and chasing after girls ended when I turned 20.
I'm usualy just a lurker around the board, but today i have a story... recently i been posting about long distance relationship because I really like this girl that lives in japan. but i live in australia so its really hard if i want to confess to her.. well this is how it all started...
Around 2005 April, i was picked on by some people at school because of my hobby, which is movie making. I'm really like a movie otaku, i love watching movies thats why my dream is to become a film director. most of the girls i knew, i told them about my hobby and they would all ne like "isn't that like really immature??" and later on wont ever talk to me.. it was around November when i was on a japanese pen pal website where i met the japanese girl, her name was Aya. we started emailing each other talking about school and life style ect. then i asked her if she used skype and she said she uses it so we added each other. we started talking in skype, (to those who doesn't know its like msn but you use microphone to talk). for the first time, i told her i'm into film making... she unlike the other girls was actualy intrested in it.. she asked me when can i show her my movie.
we talked almost everyday, mostly for 2 hours and we can always talk about anything like movies, anime, school, music ect.. then one night... we talked for 6 hours! i only had 2 hour sleep because i had to wake up for tennis lessons >"< we got more close after that. for christmas i bought her a bracelet and air mailed it to her, she liked it alot. one day i got her email but was really surprised... usualy at the end of the email she would just write "from Aya" but this time she wrote "Love from Aya". i had this feeling when i saw it. after that, i didn't hear from her for 2 weeks and then one night i got her email asking when can i talk to her... but after that... I've waited for a month and stil counting on... I emailed her before saying i have something to tell her because i planned to confess to her next time we talk.. but now i dont think i can do it because i reckon its highly likely i may get rejected since we are so far away ＿|￣|○" the feeling with this girl is different from all the other girls i liked. should i confess or not??
>"she'll probably fall easier for you if you treat her like she's someone you'd want to have sex with rather than have as a girlfriend."
NO! You need to show something like sex is NOT what your only interested in. Showing or especially TREATING someone only like you want to have sex with them is NOT the way to go. That will probably piss her off. You need to remain as friendly as possible but not too much. Find out some of her interests if you can, and if possible show your into them too. Before considering a relationship, you should work on getting her to know you, and think very positively of you. However, I do agree with 610 about complimenting her, but not overly, and not in a super way that immediately gives it away that you like her, because coming off too quickly like that most of the time may potentially cause game over. ;-;
Do you know at all if she shows any signs of liking you? o.o
-HK
I wouldn't be surprised if OP had a School Days ending.
I think it'd be kind of funny.
But on a serious note, highschool will be a distant memory; time moves really fast.
Before you know it, you're 50 and wonder what the fuck you did with your life.
Also, being yourself and not worrying about girls would probably be your best bet to actually meet/bump into someone who is genuinely interested in you.
Yeah you may form friendships with girls who won't regard you for anything more than a friend but you're still young and you'll have plenty of chances - hopefully you've learned from your mistakes with Aya, Manda, Lyss, Old girl etc etc etc.
School Days had a rather wide variety of endings anyway.
>>612 Lol by school day ending i hope your not referring to when the main character gets stabbed 20 million times.....but i have to agree even i would find it amusing if it ended up like that lol
>>611 hmm i can say she really knows me, like we're really close, she trust me and i trust her, i've been supporting her alot this year esp shes in yr 12 and i'm in uni already. shes told me alot of personal stuff about her self and her family, but the other day i called her about the time i was gonna meet up with her, she sounded normal but right after i hand up she sends me a sms saying "hey sorry if i sound pissed off, just bit stressed these days, nothing against you!!" . i don't think it means anything but she hasn't shown anything like this before, and shes got something shown on her msn that she likes someone but dont know who cos it only says "<3LY" on it, she avoid the question when i ask what it meant and kept changing the subject, i find it weird cos if she does like someone thats not me i dont think theres anything to hide esp shes told me more personal stuff then her love life =/ i dunno maybe its just me, plus shes shown alot of caring signs to me like she thought i sounded down but i was just tired, so shes like "get some rest kk, plz" which is also the first time shes said something to that extend. I've had a real thought about it these days, i'm afraid of stuffing up her studies if i let her know i like her, but then i have to do it by end of this year cos i reckon once she gets into uni next year she'll def find someone else =/ either i think too much or maybe i have to wait for the right time.
>>映画男 sorry for long post, but meaningful -
Hmm, whether you think so or not, this last paragraph has brought up some very interesting points!! (^-^)/ Let me explain:
1.For one major thing here, it seems to me that she's able to talk to you pretty deeply, and if she is even able to talk personal things like those, then it's showing that she "feels comfortable" with you. This is a VERY major thing here!
2.It is very good that you show so much support! Keep it up!
3.What she said after hanging up, it does mean something. It shows that yes, she is stressed, but wants you to know that it's not you, and also shows that she may have "worried" about you thinking it might been you. Meaning she cares about what you might be thinking.
4.You are very right about the fact that she shouldn't have to avoid asking about what's on her site if it's not you. That really shows that she may really be thinking about you like that, but her hesitance and avoiding that she did, may mean she may not know how you would react if she did tell you, and she may be wondering if she did tell you, what your reaction might be, and is currently unsure, possibly waiting for you to show signs of those things.
>>615 thanks alot for your support =] really appreciate the help you giving me, i would love to think positive points to the situation but everytime that happens, i always seem to screw it up =/
my current situation doesnt seem so good =/ she hasnt picked up any of my calls, or reply any messages or emails that i've sent, she was suppose to meet me the other day for a movie but she said she couldnt come cos of some stupid things thats been happening lately =/ i was worried so i sent a email asking her wats wrong etc, but no reply at all atm =[
and your right H.K if it doesnt work, it'll be extremely akward for both of us, and that will ruin my friendship with her =/ which means i'll loose someone close to me again and i really dont want that to happen =[ so i really need to know when to do it/how to do it so it doesnt stuff up =/ gosh this is tough, but i'm not gonna give up!!
>>映画男
No problem really. :D
I read the whole thread a few days ago, and I can say I am touched by your story, and truly wish you the best in the end of it! But, it's not over yet! And you're right, you can't just constantly be positive, because you have to be concerned with certain things at some points! But you can't let yourself become negative either!
Truly, the ultimate battle!!! :O
The first point in your >>616 post, that I notice here, is "stupid things thats been happening lately". <- What's with that? Did she even tell you what things "stupid things" are? If not then that could be bad...she might have made it up if so.
No reply? ouch...but don't assume the worst just yet!
Maybe, if possible, call or leave a message, letting her know that you're concerned. EXAMPLE: "Hey, um, I was just calling to say hi, and I've been a little concerned about you lately...I would like to talk to you sometime, k, ttyl!"
oh man sorry >.< I double posted in my >>617 post XD I had copied it so I wouldn't lose it if my connection went down because I'm having a couple connectivity issues right now lol. sorry!
-H.K.
>>617 I got a reply back the other day saying "yeh sorry for not telling you anything lol, hows things going?", seems like she's fine. I'm gonna try ask her out this friday for a movie, hopefully she can go. I've only called her like once every two days or so for the last 5 days to see whats going on, but she hasn't picked up, which is normal lol cos her phone is always on silence and apparently there is this guy who keeps calling her none stop, but i'm not too worried about the guy cos i know who it is lol, his just really desperate for girls.
>>映画男
Hmm, I see. We'll at least things seem a better than your last post >>616 :) Maybe things will keep looking up!
And yes, it's good you know who the guy is and his reason for calling her. What a jerk lol.
We'll, good luck Eiga! I hope things go well when you ask her out!
-H.K.