Hey, I'm a 16 year old girl. Still in high school.
I don't know, I need an opinion, because I'm confused and I don't want to be influenced by what my classmates have been telling me.
I'm an anime fan. A HUGE one. Not ashamed at all.
So, I don't know if that had any beneficial factors into this result, but I'm just trhowing it in there.
SO I like guys who are more on the geeky side.
Skinny? Kinda cute.
Likes anime/manga/comics? Points gained~
Likes gaming? Another point~
Goes to conventions? Hug
A bit awkward? A lot cute~
Glasses? gwomp
Not showing a racial preference or anything, but...
Hey OP. First off, I fit most of your checklist XD... Kidding and that aside. << 3 has a point. My ex was exactly or at least the same as you described yourself. At first the relationship was awesome. Then as we got more serious, that's when shit happens. I craved a little more maturity from her, as in being more socially appropriate and outgoing etc. She (due to her living in a fantasy like state) couldn't really pry herself from her hobbies to try new things and meet new people outside her preferences. I'm not saying don't go for the geek, but keep your options open. Like attracts like is true, but like and like don't necessarily stay together...
nothing wrong with that...
exaxctly my kind of moe xp
It's fine. Just don't be like my first ex who preyed exclusively on otaku, geeks, and those leaning towards Asperger's just to make herself feel good about the easy pickings.
What's wrong with you fucking freak?
You know what? You ARE weird for liking geeks. You're sick.
Get the fuck off this website nobody wants a fucking weirdo like you around.
anyone who fits that description, ping! me @ aoiharu.
haha.
no life-er
>>1
well liking geeks is not a bad thing. but u have to accept them for who they are. I mean the no life, live on the net, up skirt moe, drooling guys. Well they're not all like that, but some are. Some are anti social and some aren't. If u do get in a relationship with one, try not to change him too much. Some otakus are proud of who they are, and if they find out they have change because of you, then who knows what will happen, he might like it, or go to a total meltdown. On the road to love....well it's like a foggy road that leads to who knows what....some make it through and some don't.....so i hope u have a map....good luck ^- ^
Atashi-sama, don't listen to what others say. The kind of person you like is your personal decision and nobody should have to make such decisions for you based on their opinions.
So if some random person came up to you and told you to fall in love with a random hobo guy on the street, would you?
Let your own opinions influence your romance turn-ons and turn-offs. It's ok to like an otaku!
I just told this girl i love her. She loves me too. I don't really care about anything else right now.
Hopefully this thread makes someone else happy too.
Congrats, and nice from you to share the joy. Good luck to you both!
I just broke up with my girlfriend, this did cheer me up tho. Good luck with love!
^_________________________________________________________^
aaah must be nice. i havent been in love in a loooooooong time. its good to hear someone is.
Asshole.
...j/k.
haha im honestly happy for you and i wish you two all the best. dont let it fly away... ever. i miss the girl i fell in love with so much, but fate has yet to determine the outcome.
:D
I'm >>1. It took a while to find this thread, but i wanted to say that even after all this time we are still very much in love :)
Thank you all for the positive replies to my last post! I hope that this brings cheer to everyone, and i wish that everyone could share the happiness i share with my girlfriend!
Woah, congratulations. I will be confessing some time soon, too. Hope you stay together forever!
I'm in love with this awesome girl. I'm usually a bit on the introverted side, but I managed to do some effort to get to know this girl I saw in college. Right now, I'm attending some classes with her - along with her friends, which some I managed to befriend.
I really like this girl, she's really pretty, we share a lot of hobbies together and all. But my problem is that she's also surrounded by a lot of guys. More particularly, guys that also like her, at least I think so.
Now a bit more about me, personally I think I'm very capable of one on one situations. I'm a bit shy, but if I get a chance to be alone with her, I don't let it pass and try to do something. But when there are people around, especially those I don't know yet (majority of the people in class are from her block), I'm very veeeeery, uh, introverted I guess?
tl;dr, how to get that girl that everyone likes to like me.
More information if you guys ask. Thanks /love/ ;_;
Well, the first thing your going to want to do is talk to her. If you do then your already to a good start. Then, youve got to figure out what kind of stuff shes into.
Now there are several things you can always do to make any girl like you: Be in good shape and have good hygene. If your out of shape, then join a gym and do some situps, if you dont have good hygene then start taking showers.
Other than that, just have the balls to walk up and go "hey want to go out sometime?"
And good luck fam.
I should have stated this on the OP. I've been introduced to her by a mutual friend, and we've been hanging out. However, recently in class, it's been me, her, and her friends. For some reason, I'm not very comfortable when talking in groups, especially when there are people I don't know. Luckily, I managed to befriend some of her close friends when we were hanging out.
I'm pretty average I think, and recently I think I'm fat. I asked her, she said I didn't look fat at all. Despite that however, I've been starting to work out, and I don't think I have any problem in my hygiene since I bath daily, shave weekly etc.
And I've actually asked her out for a movie some time ago. She said she can't since her parents won't allow her to go if it's just the two of us. ;__;
Well, the thing I'm worried about is how to get her heart at these circumstances. Not to mention, I can see at least two other people who like her in her group of friends.
I'm off to class, hopefully I can talk to her later even when her (other) friends are there.
>I'm pretty average I think, and recently I think I'm fat.
That tells you all you need to know right there. This girl is pretty, you're not, you will never date her and she will never like you. Find someone who's in your league.
>>4
It doesn't always work out that way, I've known a few guys who were less than good looking, not rich or with particular status who got great girls. They must have something good about them y'know but it isn't always the obvious stuff. Though it obviously doesn't hurt to be fit and take care of yourself, really these things you have control over.
But if you are in college, as in university? then her parents really have no place telling her who she can go out with and under what circumstances, most likely this was some sort of blow-off.
>>4
you know, you really shouldn't be on this board.
2 words: Get it!
I have faith in you friend, just take care of yourself and dont play to hard with the other competition, they might have feelings lol.
It's a really long story...
So I've been with my boyfriend for almost three years and I think he is the first person I've ever loved. The problem is, he is four years older than me and my parents don't really approve, so we see each other maybe once a week, but we always talk online. Lately I've been busy getting ready for college, and he is really busy with his college classes so we don't talk much or see each other much.
The other part of the problem is my guy friend. This probably sounds really stupid, but through some strange events that I cannot remember, we started pretending that we were deep lovers since a while ago [like really obviously mushy dramatic soap opera crap that no one believes]. I thought it was ok since I knew in my heart that I was devoted to my boyfriend, and I was pretty sure he didn't like me that way. But lately I've been thinking about him all the time, and I think I may like him. But I'm still unsure whether or not he likes me back, because he's this really strange person who doesn't show much emotion.
I'm not sure whether I like my friend more than my boyfriend because I've just been kind of disconnected from my boyfriend lately, I've convinced myself that I actually do like my friend because of that "joke", or because I actually just really do like him.
And should I tell my boyfriend that I'm confused over this? Because he doesn't really like my friend, and the last time he asked about what I was so stressed over, I lied about it. And what about my friend? Do I tell him that I might like him? Or do I just keep quiet about this until I find out more about how I feel...
do the right thing and break up with your boyfriend.
I know that if i found out that my current girlfriend was "pretending" to be some guys lover i would leave her and tell her to go do it for fucking real because if you do that you are clearly not mature enough to be with this guy.
he probably has a future dont make him throw it down the drain because hes waiting on some young girl who plays him around
Don't tell your boyfriend he will probably not take it well and don't tell your friend either or he also might take it the wrong way. You should definitly figure out your feelings first and try to soon too if you stay confused too long you might hurt both of them. Just think about both options carefully the good and bad points your feelings and what you've felt in the past. Have you told you boyfriend you've been feeling disconneted maybe he doesn't realize it? Also if you friend is a strange person who doesn't show feelings well can you really have a good relationship with him? And then again your current boyfriend could be with someone else and lying about school work. Or maybe your friend really does like you. Who knows The one thing that is most important is you have to make a decision you can only pick one and you're the only one who can make that decision.
Ok, so two days ago I told my boyfriend that I was feeling disconnected and flat out told him honestly that I didn't feel as though I loved him as much as I used to. We talked and he seems to really want to fix our relationship and have more time to talk to me and/or see me. Yesterday we got breakfast together before he dropped me off at school, but it definitely felt different. We didn't really have any physical contact except when he held my hand once for like a second. I think I see him as more of just a friend now...
But because I still don't know how my guy friend feels about me, I don't want to just make a hasty decision to tell my guy friend I like him, tell my boyfriend I think we should break up, and start a relationship with my guy friend. I actually really want me and my boyfriend's relationship to work again, so I am planning to maybe wait it out for a month so I can see him more and see if I can gain feelings back for my boyfriend.
But it's really killing me that he wants the relationship to work again so badly, yet I'm hiding these feelings I have for another person from him.
On this board there are many threads where posters give advice and encouragement on varying aspects of the other posters romantic lives. This advice and encouragement deals with a wide range of subjects and situations. While there are some success stories that occasionally lift the spirits of those who post or lurk here, the vast majority end in failure and only serve to deepen our collective despair and sense of hopelessness.
The advice given in these threads, while helpful, mostly deals with strategies and single situation advice for dealing with those of the opposite or appealing sex. While it may help to solve the problems of the moment it does not help with the root of the problem. Many of us find ourselves alone not only because we were dealt a cruel hand in life (little contact with women, no income, etc.) but because we ourselves have many flaws and short comings that, far too often, we are not willing to admit to ourselves. These faults in our character are perhaps the greatest hindrance to our success. I, like many here, am possessed of several character faults that hold me back from reaching my goal.
My greatest weakness is that I am like a blank slate, the real world equivalent of a Lvl 1 character. While a Lvl 1 character may be able to beat a low level boss, 99 times out of 100 they will be soundly defeated. However a “Lvl 1” also has room for great growth. I intend to embark upon a quest of personal growth. However I would not let this quest be of benefit only to myself.
Stats
Subject No. 14
Sex: Female
Sexual Orientation: Heterosexual
Age: 20
Nationality: Asian (Filipino)
Education: 3rd year in Molecular Biology and Biochemistry
Work: Yes, I work with the Aldo group
Income: Not a lot
Living Situation: Parents
Knows How to Drive and Owns a Car: No and No
On Computer: A lot
Weight: 105 Ibs
Smoke: No
Drink: Yes, occasionally
Entry No. IFORGETSOITS5NOWKTNXBYE
---
It's been a while since I last made an update, but I've got two jobs now. One's at a nursing home with unsteady hours and relatively decent pay, another's in a retail job with more hours and minimum wage. The past month or so has been pretty rough, since I've worked almost every day without much of a chance to properly rest.
I think I've gotten pretty attached to this guy I'm always talking to online; he was interested in me when we started college, but it didn't last long. We've both graduated, but he lives pretty far away, across the country even; this was the major reason that things didn't really work out in the past. I don't think I'll really get anywhere with him, but I guess I'm lonely and desperate. Or maybe I like him? Who knows. Honestly, my goal right now is to get the heck out of the area I'm living in right now, so if ever asks me to move near him, I wouldn't be able to stop myself from saying "SURE WHEN?". In fact, I've pretty much said it already.
Or maybe I should try looking for a date here? I don't have any faith in the guys around here, though...
>>88
I have asked her, and when I get an opportunity again, I will ask her again. Did you at least skim back and see if I did? No, there is never a "right time." But in my last update, I said I got no response about the event I suggested. I'm not giving up. She seems to be the type where you just have to keep hammering away because of how she's unresponsive to outsiders. I am however, holding off on flat out telling her that I like her until we spend some time together, but I'm reconsidering this, since that plan has gone nowhere.
E has told me to lay off for a while. I interpreted this incorrectly and read it as "give up," so we got into a fight. I have a problem with seeing things in extremes. There is very little gray area with me. When I was in therapy, we were working on that, but I've completely regressed since returning to the house. Now I don't feel like I deserve my friend. She cares too much about me and winds up getting hurt cause of the way I think of myself: scum of the earth that doesn't deserve love or happiness or a home.
>As for the McJob, don't think of it as a dead end, just a first level forest full of lvl 1 monsters. Level up and move on.
Don't give me that RPG bullshit. It might work for you, but it doesn't work for me. If we go by that, then I've been stuck in the level 1 forest with level 1 monsters where many of the monsters give you NEGATIVE EXPERIENCE POINTS, since I started working my first job when I was 16, nearly 10 YEARS AGO. I have been "trained;" I'm a college graduate, so therefore I should've "leveled up" by now, at least to a fucking job that pays a decent enough wage so I can live on my own or that permits me to work towards it so I'd be well on my way to autonomy. What is wrong with this picture?
Hey guys, just checking in... looks like a lot has been going on! From reading back on what everybody is going I don't have much to say but this: Try to live life without regrets rather than regret not living. The past might be holding you back, but you can't let it. Do what feels right and the moment and don't hesitate because of fear of being turned down. Sometimes it requires that leap of faith for you to reach what your heart desires.
But if you do fail... you can't let it be the end of the world... It may feel like a thousand knives stuck through the heart, but you can't let that stop you from finding that right person whos been near you the whole time.
Stats
Subject No.93
Sex: Female
Sexual Orientation: Homosexual
Age: 18
Nationality: Spanish/French
Education: Drop out working on getting a diploma
Work: I'm a starving artist.
Income: Less than 300 USD
Living Situation: Parents
Knows How to Drive and Owns a Car: No
On Computer: 5/7 of the day
Weight: 130 lb
Smoke: No
Drink: No
>>89
Hay, welcome to the group. I don't know how you feel about this but you might try going after guys rather than waiting for one to want you. A lot of the nicer guys are shy and would love for a girl to ask them out. Where are you meeting these bad guys?
As for not knowing what you want to do, try looking for something that involves things you enjoy or are good at. I'm 21 and only recently found my direction in life.
>>90
Congrats on the job. I would not suggest moving in with a guy before you've ever met him in real life. It could end very badly as people are often very different to how they act on line.
>>93
OK... Nice to meet you!?
Well Things are moving along as life always does. School is going great. If I wanted to I could slack of on every other project for the rest of the semester and would still pass with flying colors. I'm planing to go job hunting at local stores later this week and see if I can find anything. I am also planing to start taking 1 hour walks every day to help get in better shape. Confidence is still nice and high. I cant wait for winter break as some of my friends will be back in town then. I've also managed to improve my hygiene. I had sort of let things slide last semester but now I'm back on track. My hair and skin are in a way better condition than ever before.
Well there's good shit and bad shit all around. to start of the bad shit I got a $75 ticket for blowing through a red light. I did not have enough time to stop and it turned red just as I entered the crossing. I don't have the money to pay this.
Now for some happy things. First, the semester is almost over and my grades are great. Worst case I expect to get A A B B. Also my friend has introduced me to the world of ocarinas. There rather fun little things. Yesterday I tried to make my first one, it did not work out so well. Once I make one that works I'll learn to play it. BEST OF ALL, I think I may have found a new girl. There is this waitress that I have gotten to know a bit at a local restaurant we'll call her Hana. She actually goes to the same college as me and I think I may have a chance here. I'll post more on her another time.
Stats
Subject No. 15 (I think 93 mistook the line)
Sex: Male
Sexual Orientation: Heterosexual
Age: 21
Nationality: American (Italian family)
Education: In College, Computer Science
Work: No
Income: $0
Living Situation: Parents
Knows How to Drive and Owns a Car: Yes
On Computer: 10+
Weight: 255 lb (6'3)
Smoke: No (allergic)
Drink: No (vowed not to touch the stuff)
Separate post for room.
Sorry to butt in, I felt this was interesting after reading a lot and wanted in on it.
My story: I've lead a pretty hiki lifestyle. Growing up I wasn't allowed to go to other kid's houses or bring them over, it wouldn't seem to have such an affect on social status but apparently it did for me. I went from being one of the most popular kids to being that quiet guy. In middle school I went to a public school, and it opened up a whole new world for me. Basically it exposed me to real life and poverty, everyone was a dick, and I was stuck up for not talking. I never became close friends with anyone, I was oblivious to any crushes some girls have had on me and I sex was a taboo thing to me.
Sure enough in 7th grade everyone was having sex, except moi. Really young, I know but my school basically had no discipline and everyone there was a "problem child". High school came, didn't know anyone and the school was even shittier than middle school. There were prominent gangs in high school, so there were always fights and someone who wouldn't to be a tough guy.
Me being tall, I was able to ward off most conflicts, but one day someone picked at me enough I snapped and took him down. Oddly enough it got me probably the closest RL friends I've had. I was a good kid though, had decent grades (straight c's) but I always got mixed up in troublesome things in high school because of my friends. Vandalism, fights, etc. I guess it did well to bring back my popularity but it wasn't what I wanted, I was a momma's boy.
I fell in love with my best friend
now i've stopped returning her hugs and just letting her embrace me. it really bothers me when she hugs me and then says "i just wanted a homo moment, teehee"
I can't tell her though. I'll just be watching her from afar, listening to her rants. :)
I just felt the need to post this. sorry for bumping this thread up if i did
So I live in the countryside of Japan. Not many opportunities to meet pretty girls out here, but I have met one. The problem is, outside of hand holding, she has been very non-commital. But whenever I give up on her, she emails me saying she really wants to do something with me.
I'm not sure about the rules in Japan. Does one just go for the gusto, like in the Japanese movies? Somehow I doubt life is like the fiction. I'm a relatively shy guy that got tired of being burned, so my progress is glacial to say the least.
Does one have to admit one has feelings, ala densha otoko? How do I move to the next stage.
Supplementary: she is six years older than me. Maybe she sees that as a problem.
Dont do it kid, you dont know this girl. Shes 16, and in JAPAN 16 year olds are considered ADULTS!
For all you know she might be in some BUKKAKE FILM
DONT DO IT BENSON!
In japan 16 is an ADULT, and she could be in BUKKAKE MOVIES for all you know!
16? Adult? No, not really.
20 is the usual age at which someone becomes an adult in Japan. I think it differs in some areas, but yeah.
first about Japanese NOT watching anime...I think that you are forgetting who created anime to begin with THE JAPANESE. Anime and Manga are sold everywhere to the Japanese, they read Anime and Manga more than most American or Brits read Tabloids.
AmericanGuy...sorry dude but do you really think that your post is more noticed because of how many times you type it? Benson did not say she was 16 years old. Yes, Japan 16 is an adult AS SO LONG as she is also graduated H.S. (typically around 16 or 17), has no religion saying otherwise (Thai Buddism in Japan says 20 not 16 or 18), and also parents who claim them as adult (meaning they have understanding as such).
Bukkake Films are not typical in Japan though. They are typical in Thailand. Look it up by the CIA and FBI reports of the US government.
I do see a huge amount of generalism in this thread and also in the article. There are a total number of 4 religions and 24 Japanese cultures...combining these can be more obvious of the countless variations of the lifes in Japan (ALL THREE ISLANDS). So first thing is first, how am I Japan Educated...I spent 3 years of my life in Japan. My first girlfriend was from Hong Kong and her dad was with a firm dealing with Japan businesses. He mentored me a great deal about the different lives. Most Japanese are making fun of us western people...we really are gaijins (don't go by what westerners are taught what it means..study the language itself. Calling a westener a gaijin is like calling a black person the N**** word..it means naive, stupid, hypocritical westerner..ie it's an insult).
>There are a total number of 4 religions and 24 Japanese cultures
>Anime and Manga are sold everywhere to the Japanese, they read Anime and Manga
thanks for that informative necro
I like chocolate!
OP
I can't offer you advice that comes from personal experience on dating japanese women however i had the same problem as I was working a co-op term in seoul, Korea. Having studied in japan for about 8 months i found that they are very similar in that they are very shy and will almost never make a first move so it is up to you to make a first move and let her know you are interested.
If youre wondering ididnt have time for dating while in japan due to my heavy heavy course load -_- but i did in seoul because i was working. I found it more difficult to approach korean women as there are way less foreigners in korean than there are in japan so they were easily intimidated. Make sure you dont move to quickly. Be gentle and once you earn their trust you can start to make your move. i did this and have been with this same korean girl for 3 years.
GOOD LUCK OP
Nice 2 year necro, guys. Just let this thread die in peace.
no this is not another fail attempt to say;
"OMG densha otoko happened to me!"
just getting that out of the way before i start typing.
anyway, anyone think that another densha otoko thing would ever happen?
and if so how would you think it would go.
you really need to gtfo
One in a million chance, modern fairytale, not gonna happen again. Sorry.
"lease stop making threads relating to Densha Otoko."
One of the rules for this board.
It's my first time posting here so I'm a bit shy. But I'm also in a vulnerable state right now.
My boyfriend ended our relationship recently. I'm an adult, and this was the first person I really loved and did my best for. Before we were together, we knew a big risk we would be taking, because our physical distance would make things harder. Because we were hopelessly in love, we agreed to take the challenge and be strong until we can at least afford to travel and make other serious plans from there.
Everything seemed perfect to me, but a while ago he started to feel emotionally distant. After thinking it through, he felt that we weren't on the same level or we didn't express our mutual feelings well enough; I had small issues with trust and confidence, and he didn't feel that I was fulfilling his (intimate) needs enough after everything he did for me. Even though we tried to be accepting and understanding of these things, I guess it was too much time and effort to ask. We both made sacrifices, but in the end he changed his mind about our future.
I've been hurt and rejected before, but for some reason this is harder to handle than ever, especially with other things going on (health, graduating, jobs). I know he's better off now, probably even happy. I thought I'd be happy as long as he was doing well, so why is it hard for me and easy for him? Obviously I still have the same feelings and will to commit, and he doesn't.
It will be tough for the next two weeks for me too OP.
I have a girl friend, we are not in relationship, but we had been doing some stuffs a normal romantic couple often do this whole January. We dine, taking pictures, visiting places and talking our heart out. We sleep together more than two times.
Last night when I see her off in airport (she work as an Attaché) my heart really hurts. The chance I will meet her again is only if she get a scholarship to study master program in my city.
She left me songs, our pictures and letters, her words really melt me.
This will be hard for me to move on since I am a NEET ;_;
Wow, we are in the practically the exact same situation. I'm serious, I know exactly what you're going through.
I'd really like to talk to you personally. If you want someone who understands to speak with, I'll listen.
Drop me a line and perhaps we could discuss these things on msn.
http://whspr.me/21Z
I think its important to realize that you can't just magically get over a break up and the sorrow and thinking about it a lot is a normal thing that everyone goes through. talking about it and hanging out with people is definitly a good way to move on though from my experience.
>>4 I want do feel happy for the memories we made; but do I sound egoistic if I asked for our term could be longer?
>>5
No you don't sound egoistic at all no one would want it to end. For someone to say that they don't want happiness to last would go against why people live. The thing is happiness doesn't always last and feelings, people, everything has an end. The same way that you wouldn't obsess over bringing a person back to life after they die is the same mindset that you should have when you break up. It's over and to disrespect the intentions and feelings of the other person would do more harm than good to yourself and the other person. So take those happy memories and the things you learned and strive forward to some new goal. So that you can be happy. I am by no means an expert on these things. Everyone deals with seperation in thier own way so there is no right answer when getting over things like this and even if I tried to convey how I personally got over break ups and losing people the method wouldn't be conveyed properly. It's up to you.
Me again. Just thought I'd give a bit of advice in case you're not too keen on the msn thing.
An important part of breaking up is fully realizing that it's finished. Ask yourself, "Is this relationship really over?" If the answer is yes, and it probably is, then it's time to start letting go, however difficult that may be. Whatever you do, don't keep pondering what-ifs, might-have-beens and the such, or spending hours being miserable over your loss. That will do nothing but prolong your misery. But don't lose faith in love! There are some incredibly caring people out there. They're just rare to come by.
Also, you may want to avoid being friends with your ex until a few months later, when you're completely over it all. Probably the best thing you can do right now is to spend time with some caring, understanding people. Friends, family, they'll be your best source of happiness for the next while.
By the way, I seriously respect your resolve to commit to a long distance relationship, despite the inherit difficulties of it. It takes an incredibly strong heart to be that loving, and it's so tragic when even that much love isn't enough to make it work. Been through the same hurting myself only a few weeks ago. I'd tell you about how I'm getting over my breakup, but I'm not sure how much that would help you. Plus I'd rather not talk much about myself on here.
OP here, thank you. Just making this post has helped me a bit.
I guess a big part of moving on is figuring out what goals you have in life and what is really important to yourself. But I seem to value marriage/love almost as much as I value a solid career, family, etc. Right now I'm just afraid the pain will take much longer to heal than I think, or that I won't fully recover because it's been such a large impact. Or worse, I could have an even harder time trusting a person in that way again.
Either way, thank you still.
Hello, 4-ch.
It's been a long time since I've posted here.
I've been having trouble with my girlfriend. I can't stop myself from pondering the misery of the situation and looking for a way out. This is a long read and I don't expect anyone to even bother.
We're both at college, I live in my house downtown and she lives in a small apartment adjacent to school, ~35 km from me. Well, she did until recently.
We'd lived together for about a month, I was staying at her apartment because she wrecked my car and I couldn't tell my parents.
Life in her apartment was stressful. She's a complete fucking neatfreak, and I seemed to always be in trouble for not arranging the towels at the perfect angle or sweating too much. I wanted to leave but I was trapped.
It was an expensive accident, almost two thousand dollars to get things running.Three months later and I'm now still $500 in debt when I get about $350 a month for food, going out, and gas. This is a developing country, so any jobs I would take would pay in pennies while the cost of living is very high. There's no payment structure, I just have to save up the full amount by April. But, this means that it's a very boring life, stuck at home almost every day when I could previously go out every day and enjoy life in a booming metropolis.
I'd ask her to stay at her dorm more often, but there are problems. Lots of problems.
Her dorm is messy, hot, and the internet connection is poor. She'd just spend most of the time there driving me insane with constant messages and phone calls. No matter where I go, she's always there reaching at me through a LCD screen. She will constantly tell me she misses me and I have to oblige and emptily reciprocate. And at the end of it, when I see her afterwards she's a complete mess.
When things get ugly, they get really fucking ugly. When we disagree, we argue, then physically fight, then break up for a few hours and somehow I'm stupid enough to take her back. The last time we argued we punched, kicked, wrestled. I had to break a door down in my own house to get to her.I'm mostly afraid of what she'd do to herself without me.
She has no friends that she meets regularly. She doesn't pursue hobbies. Her mother passed away from cancer a few years ago and her father doesn't know much about me, and doesn't know that I'm with her. Her ex's were either abusive to her or were mid-twenties manchildren. In fact, when I met her and when we first got together, she was still in a relationship with a 26-year-old that hadn't ended but instead had lost contact in the previous two months. I was blind enough to fight to take her from him.
>I love her and I want to spend the rest of my life with her
>I'm hoping that soon I can say she WAS my first.
What?
It sounds like you should just man up and tell her you don't want to date her.
did you even read the post, or ever heard of something called tact?
well op, even though she is/(trying to be was) first girlfriend, try to first compromise.
tell her all these things, try to make her understand from your point of view. People dont think anything is wrong until you tell them.
also like you said, im afraid what she would do if you suddenly just broke up.
and if the compromise does not work, slowly start to give signs that you want to break up; like cold shoulder, or alwasy go out, eventually she'll see the sign and confront or just say that she wants to break up.
theres alwasy the option of just acting like a complete asshole like >>3 and just make her leave you.
it sounds like if you do ask her to compromise it will just be another violent fight from what you said and she will most likely not understand. She seems extreemly insecure possibly even mentally unstable like you said she might actually hurt herself if you break up badly. This is a bad situation she is dependant on you. Maybe you should just stop accepting her back after you fight just slowly let her go that way. I don't know I'm suprised it took you this long to get fed up with her. there might be a way to fix this though it seems like you are frusterated from not being able to do what you want but you still care about her have you ever tried to fix her problems get her to make friends or try to sort out what she is worried about maybe you can help fix her and everything will be fine but I guess its too late now though.
Would you get into a serious relationship of someone of a different religion? Or one that you don't see eye to eye with?
I'm a free thinker (the closest I religion I align myself with is The Force from Star Wars) and when I got together with my girlfriend she was a lapsed Christian which was okay by me.
Now one of her friends is drawing her back to church going and all that which makes me kinda uneasy.
It's hard to give advice about this. It really depends on your and her personality, but I'll try since you asked.
If she starts doing things that offend you and make you feel bad, then maybe the relationship isn't worth pursuing any further, but otherwise I don't see why it would be a problem.
So, basically, just go with it for now and see how things turn out.
I wouldn't pursue a serious relationship with a 'proper' christian because they suddenly decide that you must be equally yoked and the children raised in the religion.
If you ever feel pressure to attend church or convert then run for the hills ma boy.
My girlfriend was a really devout christian when I met her, she told me that the number one most important thing she looks for in a guy is that he is also a devout christian. After a few months I started winning her over though, but she still told me that if I wanted to be with her, I would have to start reading the bible and attending church. Now we've been together for almost a year and I've never been to church, nor have I read a page from the bible and she goes to church less and less herself. She stopped asking me to go and she hasn't even mentioned me going to church in months. However, I'm always scared she might start becoming really spiritual again, but i have heard from others that they were able to change a girls mind about religion. One of my friends said his girlfriend told him "I love you more than god."
>I'm always scared she might start becoming really spiritual again
>able to change a girls mind about religion
This is scary to me. I don't think you should view a relationship through the lens of trying to convert or de-convert the other person. If their religion or lack thereof is a threat to you, you shouldn't be dating them.
Have you at least talked to her about your religious views and discussed it with a compromise? If you care about each other you should be able to come to an understanding