Love and Romance @4-ch

Want to talk about your relationship? Has cupid struck? Keep your love woes out of General because you can talk all about that here.
  • No personal details like names, addresses etc. We don't want to know.
  • Please stop making threads relating to Densha Otoko.
  • Have a sexual issue? Use the Sexuality board.
  • Or maybe a personal issue that is non-sexual? Take it to the Personal Issues board.
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[HelpMe] My crush isn’t responding to my texts or emails! (5)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2017-10-22 06:50 ID:s04kBFCm

So, there’s this girl I go to school with, let’s call her Rachel. We exchanged numbers and emails for a school project, and still occasionally message each other. But recently, she hasn’t been responding to my emails or texts!
Do you think Rachel is okay? Should I call her?

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2017-10-22 10:01 ID:omcs5aq2

dicks out for Harambe

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2017-10-22 16:52 ID:s04kBFCm

Be serious, please!

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2017-10-23 00:55 ID:Heaven

Threaten to kill her family until she responds.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2018-10-12 09:41 ID:wKjvdkm9

Threaten to kill another gorilla until she responds.

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Have I fallen in love with an escort? (4)

1 Name: Memelord : 2018-09-03 22:23 ID:MxBHELqO

So, being 24yo virgin that I was, I decided enough was enough and called up an escort. We agreed to meet for two hours. It was supposed to be a "22yo" Korean woman, but ended up to be an older (I'm guessing late 30s) Chinese woman. Not that it mattered, she was still very pretty and charming for her age, especially for a yellow fever bastard like myself. Anyways, before we started I admitted to her that I have a tiny penis (4" hard) and she just chuckled and said not to worry. She took her time with me and was patient with my inexperience. To me, the sex seemed gentle and tender, just what I was looking for. Fast-forward 4 months, and I've been seeing this woman almost twice a month. It's become the high point for me after long, tedious weeks at work. The sex is still as good as it was the first time, maybe even better, and I do not bore of her whatsoever. I want to ask her out on a date or something, just to get to know her better (of course, we've had small talk before and after sex, but that isn't nearly enough to get to know someone), but I'm afraid that by even asking, it will take our client-based relationship to somewhere she doesn't want to venture. In short what I'm asking is, should I pursue an actual relationship with this woman or look elsewhere now that I'm not some incel virgin anymore?

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2018-09-04 15:02 ID:aUfZm1Ls

>So, being 24yo virgin that I was, I decided enough was enough

Only 24? Not even trying to be a wizard? Lame!
Just kidding. Anyway,

>should I pursue an actual relationship with this woman or look elsewhere

I wouldn't recommand going out with a prostitute, but if you love her then go for it. Do you though? It may be the case where you only think you love her because it's the first woman you had intimate contact with, even if it's just her job. And there's high chance for her you're just one of her many clients.
Still you can ask her out anyway, better try than regret it later.

3 Name: Memelord : 2018-09-05 00:53 ID:MxBHELqO

>Only 24? Not even trying to be a wizard?

I was gonna do it, I really was...
But then my other virgin friend got a girlfriend, so I was the only one I knew who was still a virgin, and it got to me. It's a funny thing, looking back on it now, it really didn't matter that much.

>It may be the case where you only think you love her because it's the first woman you had intimate contact with

I thought this too, and you're probably right. Nevertheless, I'm just gonna give it a try and see what happens! Will update in the future.

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2018-09-17 04:20 ID:01z2p2VP

Is it time yet? Just how bad was it?

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Introvertism and love (4)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2018-08-15 18:53 ID:8v6pTStr

Tldr;How to get a girl to know that you're only interested in a introvertic relationship?

I am an introvert, I always preferred spending my free time alone or doing something with 1 friend than going to crowdy places like clubs.

I really don't want to put my effort attention or patience for talking with group of random people at a bar, each of them talking about different meaningless normie topics while I can't even hear myself (because the shitty music is so loud)
I've noticed that people usually don't seem to talk honestly with each other because they don't talk in 4 eyes, they talk in group and they're being affraid of peer pressure.

I don't want to be part of this unorganized pointless shit.
I want to sacrifice my time for doing things I love with the person I love.

So the cute quiet girl I know from work seemed to be interested in me, told her straight away that I'm introvert and not outgoing but she wanted me to go to the bar and I did for the first time in few years.

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2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2018-08-16 00:26 ID:pf3TKBXA

A little silly to post here for help.

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2018-09-04 15:47 ID:Heaven

>>2 He can always post, but may not get a response before months (or never). I wish this board (and every other boards) were more active because there's some interesting threads. orz

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2018-09-16 18:17 ID:zlCXFwMF

She seems kinda weird. I'd stay away from her If I were you.

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Single Again (4)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2018-08-14 15:54 ID:esaQQLtp

What should I do? I think I'm over the relationship, but it's only been a couple weeks. I seem to be going back and forth every day about whether I should try to look for another one, or if it's best to be alone for a while.

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2018-08-19 12:36 ID:E6x/eqjM

I'm literally insane.

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2018-09-03 02:21 ID:UsnkSfc5

A little silly to post here for help.

4 Name: newfag : 2018-09-06 01:32 ID:uQEDgqIw

I think it's better to give yourself some time to rest, and be somewhat independent (in a good way), hunting for another one because you "think" you're over the previous relationship is a shitty thing to do you retard.
good luck anon

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Cheat? (5)

1 Name: love_struck_fool : 2006-12-14 15:02 ID:yL6wKVam

Having kind of a problem here. My girlfriend has a really good friend who happens to be a guy, He's actually the guy who kind of set us up. However, lately, she's been kind of cold to me, and she's been spending an awful lot of time around him, even while I'm around.This is unsettling, since we just hooked up, so I'm not sure if she said yes just to humor me.He told me he doesn't like her, but now I really am not sure. Now I even hate him. Please help.

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-12-14 15:42 ID:q5UaFq7/

Ask her.
If she's straight with you now and tells you she's done with you, then you can get this off your chest.
If she lies and they're together behind your back, you can forget her.
If he wants her but she doesn't return the sentiment, at least you know what's going on.
If it's all just a misunderstanding then you can relax!

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-12-15 15:27 ID:EeIqPFGZ

yeah, there's two options:

Ask her - result: she is, or she isn't. You can probably tell if she's lying or not.

Don't ask her - result: you spend a lot of time worrying, never knowing, and try covert ways of finding out.

Trust me, I know it will be awkward, but it's got to be done.

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-12-15 16:44 ID:KZy/INsu

Just be direct.

5 Name: YuruyBuriy : 2018-07-31 21:41 ID:SfYb+K/D

Very sorry. No one is immune from this. By the way, now there are many who will help solve the problem and set everything up in places before. I followed my ex when I suspected her of some things.

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Bored with my girlfriend (9)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-09-09 12:40 ID:EAoiqQHH

My girlfriend is boring. She never initiates conversation or makes suggestions. She has no opinions. When watching movies or listening to music, she never really gets it. She's not unintelligent, just extremely plain and a little slow. Even our telephone conversations will often go for minutes of pure silence. Even when asked a direct question, she will deliberate for an inordinate amount of time before coming up with a short noncommittal answer. Her responses to everything are so passive that it just drains all my passion.

We've been together nearly 2 years, and have both sacrificed to be together. She recently quit her job to move in with me. She is deeply in love with me and I strongly suspect she is aiming to get married in a few years. I love her too, yet I often find myself fighting with feelings of frustration and boredom.

The longer this goes on, the harder it will be to be to end it. Even now, breaking up would be devastating for her. Yet I'm worried that the longer it goes on, the more frustrated I'm going to become. And due to her extremely passive nature, even if I start treating her poorly she'll just sit back and take it. I don't want it to come to that.

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-09-11 17:59 ID:uFNs+Eof

Have you spoken to her about this? How did she react?

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-09-12 12:22 ID:ZW/4G+Lc

You should talk to her about it first off. Bring it up.

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-09-12 15:46 ID:mhlZ6eFU

Maybe she really has a lot of opinions and feelings and such, she's just afraid to express them at risk of being criticized or mocked for having incorrect ideas. If this is the case, you should try to get her to open up. Like >>2 and >>3 said, ask her directly.

5 Name: Qante : 2017-12-19 08:57 ID:1/MWQQR1

If you're bored with your girlfriend, then this is your problem. First of all, you know whom to choose, and secondly, that means you did not try to find a common passion for both of you. How do you spend your time? Does she like to read? And you? There are so many topics in the world that can be discussed and will be interesting. My boyfriend and I often watch films, choose good ones , go for walks and meet friends. We are not bored. Think about how to spend time with her and you will have fun.

6 Post deleted.

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2018-01-16 21:12 ID:LTW6vK7e

This explains my situation perfectly however I'm in 6 years now with her. And it's completely got to the point of pure misery. However I can't just leave her because I have no where to go. No license, no car, and no job. I wouldn't be able to survive without her. This is truly suffering.

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2018-02-27 09:25 ID:ieAOLyof



That's likely just the point. Get a job and you will appreciate her more again. It's just because you just see her too much. Also likely lurking the whole day in your room/appartment. So the brain won't get any new inspiration and stimulation.

9 Name: Loolll : 2018-07-03 09:39 ID:UU1csZeP

When my gf broke up with me, I decided to play some simulators and man, trust me, that's the best way to forget about everything! I spent almost one week playing and this game is perfectly fixed my mood!

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[Romance]Haikus for the ones you love[Haikus] (5)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2017-05-25 20:12 ID:TMXHSuWU

Our time was too short
Again from my world you roam
We will never be

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2017-06-11 13:48 ID:TNComAy4

You selected me
As the matis picks her mate
Here I wait, headless

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2017-08-01 16:57 ID:TMXHSuWU

Lost! My drive is gone
My lust for you has vanished
At last, I feel free!

4 Post deleted.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2018-06-30 23:38 ID:pd/FapaL

A hundred more times
Reunion, loving, parting
Distance is a bitch.

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I've been waiting.... (779)

1 Name: benson_2009 : 2006-03-08 06:46 ID:rBmL8F/W

I'm usualy just a lurker around the board, but today i have a story... recently i been posting about long distance relationship because I really like this girl that lives in japan. but i live in australia so its really hard if i want to confess to her.. well this is how it all started...

Around 2005 April, i was picked on by some people at school because of my hobby, which is movie making. I'm really like a movie otaku, i love watching movies thats why my dream is to become a film director. most of the girls i knew, i told them about my hobby and they would all ne like "isn't that like really immature??" and later on wont ever talk to me.. it was around November when i was on a japanese pen pal website where i met the japanese girl, her name was Aya. we started emailing each other talking about school and life style ect. then i asked her if she used skype and she said she uses it so we added each other. we started talking in skype, (to those who doesn't know its like msn but you use microphone to talk). for the first time, i told her i'm into film making... she unlike the other girls was actualy intrested in it.. she asked me when can i show her my movie.

we talked almost everyday, mostly for 2 hours and we can always talk about anything like movies, anime, school, music ect.. then one night... we talked for 6 hours! i only had 2 hour sleep because i had to wake up for tennis lessons >"< we got more close after that. for christmas i bought her a bracelet and air mailed it to her, she liked it alot. one day i got her email but was really surprised... usualy at the end of the email she would just write "from Aya" but this time she wrote "Love from Aya". i had this feeling when i saw it. after that, i didn't hear from her for 2 weeks and then one night i got her email asking when can i talk to her... but after that... I've waited for a month and stil counting on... I emailed her before saying i have something to tell her because i planned to confess to her next time we talk.. but now i dont think i can do it because i reckon its highly likely i may get rejected since we are so far away _| ̄|○" the feeling with this girl is different from all the other girls i liked. should i confess or not??

770 Name: Secret Admirer : 2016-08-27 05:25 ID:jcIMly5d

Why didn't I discover this thread sooner?!!

771 Name: 映画男 : 2016-10-05 07:11 ID:xFgyl7WD

Sigh I just went through two months of literally hell in June when i moved back to melbourne , will find time to update everyone

772 Name: Secret Admirer : 2016-11-02 04:28 ID:6Pk/4yBt

I hope things are going well my friend.

773 Post deleted.

774 Name: Secret Admirer : 2016-11-25 10:16 ID:znN+X0Q7

benson, you do it wrong. after 10y you have to know it.
i recommend read:
mark manson - models - a comprehensive guide to attracting women
mark manson - the subtle art of not giving a fuck

775 Name: 映画男 : 2017-06-27 06:34 ID:KyBe68c7

its been so long since i posted and so much has happened.
but long story short i managed to pick my self up in the end, I found out Miya actually got together with someone else last year and is getting married soon which was super shocking for me.
What really helped me get better was i started gyming last year and it really helped me mentally and physically.
I've been hanging out with a lot of friends who came back from melbourne and met a few nice people.

Will find time to update, sorry i disappeared for so long.

776 Name: Secret Admirer : 2017-09-27 11:28 ID:gxRnV2sw

Take care of yourself Eiga!

777 Name: Secret Admirer : 2017-09-27 19:27 ID:R17RJeHy

dicks out for Harambe

778 Name: Secret Admirer : 2017-11-08 16:51 ID:mnMwLx42


779 Name: 映画男 : 2018-06-09 09:58 ID:nX6JtAy+

hey there, just to let you guys know i'm still alive

i moved to china last year and started a new life again, been here for 7 months.
I'm actually about to start dating with a women who's 5 years older then me.

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Race Preferences? (12)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-10-05 12:03 ID:U2v1Bz3S

Somehow, I find that different races tend to have different preferences. I'm a Vietnamese girl, but I find that Chinese guys tend to prefer girls who are more docile, shy, short, and skinny.
Then I find that Vietnamese guys have a less focused preference, but generally the same thing.
Lastly, I find that white people (sorry for the generalization) tend to like taller girls with lighter hair and a little more meat than what the Chinese guys do. Is this just my imagination...?

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-10-05 14:06 ID:RTnsM3ov

I think it is definately hard to generalise in that way. Personally I have LOTS of preferences, i am a White English/Polish tall, blonde dude.... but i find Chinese, Japanese and asian women in general very attractive. However i could say the same sometimes about any girl i meet who is pretty. Although you may have a type who you tend to prefer its strange how rarely you actually end up dating someone who is of that type... my girlfriend is danish :)

A lot of people will have race preferences for what they feel most comfortable with or people of the same race as them but in a city like London you see so many different types of people its impossible to stick to being attracted to only one!


4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-10-05 21:25 ID:Heaven

It's not the question of race, just personal preference.
I'm a white guy and I like short and slim girls and I like black or brown hair more than blonde.
And I too find eastern (Chinese, Korean, Japanese) women attractive too.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-10-06 14:28 ID:Heaven


Vietnamese girls?

Aren't they are sucker to white guys?

Most Vietnamese girls would even marry to those old white men for security and money, and having luxury of being white.

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2017-11-08 18:47 ID:lzH2MORC

dicks out for Harambe

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2018-01-17 18:25 ID:ySvKodMz

Only if they are fresh off the boat.
Americanized Asians are the worst

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2018-01-18 07:52 ID:UiYFnMBb

I agree, it's just wrong. I hate other cultures being "Americanized" I mean what's so fucking great about America anyways? It's a "shithole" if you ask me.

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2018-03-10 01:34 ID:sAx5ykrL

I'm currently seeing a girl who is mixed Mexican and German. It's a combination I never even thought of, when I think mixed race girls I'm usually a fan of European-Indian or European-Asian girls. I'm so inexperienced with a mix like this that I don't know if they're all as cute as her, or she's the exception. She almost looks like a hapa in some ways, especially her eyes and that rosiness to her cheeks/nose.

10 Post deleted.

11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2018-04-16 16:46 ID:qmcUzh21

Mexican-German is common in Texas.

12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2018-05-13 15:33 ID:xXxe26zJ

That's intriguing, a lot of her family is actually from the South. Maybe I've just lived in the wrong part of the world to experience it often.

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Living An Alternate Ending (7)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2018-03-29 10:33 ID:8EQnL1T3

I've been considering writing my story here for a long time, but I tend to get exhausted with how many details there are, how deep the story goes, and I'm someone who can easily write huge posts to fulfill how much I feel I need to write sometimes.

That being said, I felt like writing a shorter version of an otherwise long saga in my life that has occurred over the past 12 years.

In 2006 I met someone who permanently became a huge influence on my life. It wasn't long after I got my first computer after I turned 15, and after I turned 16 I met her. (I'm a guy).
We fell in love quickly and overcame many trials together, facing a daunting long-distance relationship, family issues, and life-complications. Our relationship was very special and it wasn't just my opinion- we were a couple everyone rooted for and knew pretty well back in the Myspace days. We traveled across the country several times over 5 years and talked every day. Both of us were faithful and true to each other, and we took pride in proving the naysayers wrong who didn't approve of our long distance love. We experienced many things together (watched movies, shows, talked all day and night, gamed together a little) and more whether we were far away or beside each other. She gave me an energy I have never felt since those days, caused me to face fears- made me feel it was possible to overcome even the big ones I hadn't faced yet- some that are beyond impossible for me since. She was everything to me and I loved her fiercely. Our love was so strong that everyone we knew, knew it well, like we were some kind of protagonists in a movie. You get the point.

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2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2018-03-29 10:34 ID:8EQnL1T3

Part 2

At the very end of it all her friends were telling me they were starting to have a relationship, around each other all the time, even talking to her he was sitting practically on top of her right there while I was on the phone- then I saw it...she went to prom and he was her date. I felt hurt, so much. People counseled me, so many people, but I couldn't believe that this was just some teenage love crap that would go away. It hasn't. Its been with me daily since 2009...Life since wasn't the same, and I have this constant feeling like something isn't right. I kept in contact with her, because I love her to this day in a way that no one does. Later on in '09 I spoke with her and she was having a baby with him...that seemed to seal the deal that it was fate that we were officially done for good.

I unfriended her for a while, time passed, and a friend of mine who was a girl was there for me, we eventually started going out, and started dating. Thing was, as much as I cared about my next girlfriend, deep inside was still an emptiness I couldn't explain. I eventually accepted that I had to move on, and I put nearly all of my energy into my hobbies and work and created some amazing things with my time, propelled my career into great heights, and started an almost new life altogether.
I got married in 2013, but am getting divorced as of 2015...that one is a whole different story which hurt my life more than it hurt me, but after it all I felt free. And I immediately went to sort of confess to the original girl I still love so much.

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3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2018-03-29 10:34 ID:8EQnL1T3

part 3

We're still friends on social media, but we haven't talked in a couple years....and the sad part is, our messages- every entry is a happy birthday because thats the only thing we say to each other anymore...
I have dreams about her, holding her like I did the last day I did, waking up alone with the bitter reality. I feel all the time like she should be beside me, but no one's there. Like none of this was supposed to happen but it did. Somehow. Our chance meeting and beautiful, unbelievable story together that I'm pretty sure if someone knew all the details of and could somehow see it, would become a movie or something- somehow it didn't go the right way at the very last second...I constantly feel like I'm living an Alternate Ending of a video game...every day is grey without her, and she doesn't know how much I'm suffering at all. She thinks I live a new life full of my career and happiness, but I'm quite sad. I love her always and forever...I don't know what could ever be done to get through to her...
v_v Its like a pain I bear...I love her so much, and it hasn't gone away in almost 10 years...

Thats all for now. :/
Geeze that felt good to get out.

4 Post deleted.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2018-04-04 23:28 ID:216d1ISV

Take some comfort knowing that at least one other person who's browsed this board is going through a similar ordeal. All we can do is enjoy the fact that we had the opportunity to love at all, and go into our lonely endgames with some dignity.

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2018-04-17 05:43 ID:L8FQ2Uvl

I thought I was in the same boat. Then I met the woman sleeping next to me. Yes, this is a different route, but it doesn't have to be a bad or grey end.

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2018-04-17 17:55 ID:N4iKIwun

I can't relate. I've been in relationships with boundary issues like you've stated but toil and travail have taken the relative luxury of that sort of naïve love from my reach and thankfully from my mind. I work so much that I could scarcely imagine putting so much time into talking to a woman or anything else for that matter.

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