So, I loved this girl a lot. It was a long-distance relationship. It was going to be like three years before we could really live together. We are both virgins. She promised her virginity to me. We both had romantic ideals of lifelong love. I still do, that's my main shtick, I am a die-hard romantic and I'm saving my virginity even though I'm a guy. I don't care what anybody else says.
It started out with me being very idealistic and thinking it could work. Whenever I had any doubt my girlfriend would tell me she'd take care of my doubts, and that she believed in me and my ideals, and that three years wasn't long to wait because we'd grow old together anyways. It seemed perfect.
We talked every day. It never got old for me, to talk to her.
Two weeks ago it was her birthday. She was excited to see me draw her a picture for her birthday. It was a crappy drawing, but it was from my heart; it was a picture of me and her, stick figures, and me giving her a ring. She said it was cute and she loved it, then she said "brb" and I didn't hear from her for over a week.
You are not stupid, just a bit silly.
I won't comment on your breakup, because... well, it doesn't sound real, you aren't telling the whole story.
But Nothing is "for a lifetime", things change, you will change, your girlfriend will change, sometimes those changes make you stop loving. And why the obsession with virginity? It has no impact on relationship, besides not fitting your fairytale fantasy.
Who is criticizing you anyway? I doubt many people care about what you want in a relationship. Not that your beliefs are radical or unusual in the first place.
The few studies that exist on telegony suggest that a female retains the DNA of previous partners inside her brain, potentially affecting future offspring. Is that supposed to be attractive or something? I'm surprised that expressing preference for virgins is so looked down upon by the majority.
It has a lot of impact. Previous relationships make people start comparing things in their mind, and that is bad for a relationship. There are studies about how women who have had sex with more people end up having a higher chance of divorce.
Ultimately, all meaning is derived from contrast. If you haven't had sex before and you have sex for the first time with somebody, meaning is subconsciously attributed to that. Even moreso if it's mutual. It is romantic. It is not a fairytale fantasy at all. It's my ideal and it's important, and it is totally doable if other people just shared it. It's wrong to think "that's not realistic" and just discount it as a too perfect to be real. You have to aim for what is really the best possible, and live to be a person who can do that.
Things can be for a lifetime if you will it. By having an attitude that nothing is for a lifetime, nothing will be for a lifetime. If you don't want it, you can't have it. I am fully confident that I can love a girl forever, and be utterly loyal to her too. I wish I could prove that, but you'll just have to believe me.
That story is the whole story, but more things happened afterwards. She approached me later and said that she made up that story about cheating on me to make me go away for a while. Now, she says hi to me every day, but we never can start a conversation, and I don't want to. She says she is confused about what she wants. It just hurts to talk to her now.
Sure, aim for the stars or whatever, but realize when it isn't going to happen and compromise. You won't be an astronaut, drive the latest Ferrari and have a virgin supermodel girlfriend. Welcome to real life.
But maybe you can work in a planetarium, drive Alfa Romeo and have a cute, understanding girlfriend. If virginity is such a huge deal for you, I'm sure you can make it happen, just look for overweight, ugly girls, that never get any attention from man.
The whole idea, that you'll find this one amazing girl, that has been waiting for you all her life and you'll both fall in this beautiful everlasting love... it's silly. That's not how relationships work, at all.
Nevermind it, man.
It's about sharing an ideal. Just as friends are close because they share interests, people who might be partners should be close because they share ideals. If you don't have any ideals at all and care too much about what's "realistic", then there's nothing left to talk about.
Anyways, this girl has started making contact with me again, saying she's anxious and needs somebody to talk to. I told her it's one-sided because I clearly care about her and she clearly does not care about me because she ignores me when I am having some sort of emotional problem and she doesn't feel ashamed at all about just using me, so I've cut contact with her.
I'm really amazed that this girl ended up being like this. What a tragedy.
dicks out for Harambe
I'm usualy just a lurker around the board, but today i have a story... recently i been posting about long distance relationship because I really like this girl that lives in japan. but i live in australia so its really hard if i want to confess to her.. well this is how it all started...
Around 2005 April, i was picked on by some people at school because of my hobby, which is movie making. I'm really like a movie otaku, i love watching movies thats why my dream is to become a film director. most of the girls i knew, i told them about my hobby and they would all ne like "isn't that like really immature??" and later on wont ever talk to me.. it was around November when i was on a japanese pen pal website where i met the japanese girl, her name was Aya. we started emailing each other talking about school and life style ect. then i asked her if she used skype and she said she uses it so we added each other. we started talking in skype, (to those who doesn't know its like msn but you use microphone to talk). for the first time, i told her i'm into film making... she unlike the other girls was actualy intrested in it.. she asked me when can i show her my movie.
we talked almost everyday, mostly for 2 hours and we can always talk about anything like movies, anime, school, music ect.. then one night... we talked for 6 hours! i only had 2 hour sleep because i had to wake up for tennis lessons >"< we got more close after that. for christmas i bought her a bracelet and air mailed it to her, she liked it alot. one day i got her email but was really surprised... usualy at the end of the email she would just write "from Aya" but this time she wrote "Love from Aya". i had this feeling when i saw it. after that, i didn't hear from her for 2 weeks and then one night i got her email asking when can i talk to her... but after that... I've waited for a month and stil counting on... I emailed her before saying i have something to tell her because i planned to confess to her next time we talk.. but now i dont think i can do it because i reckon its highly likely i may get rejected since we are so far away ＿|￣|○" the feeling with this girl is different from all the other girls i liked. should i confess or not??
after a few days, i traveled to japan with my friends for 10 days, only just got back last night. The trip to japan i think really healed me as i feel like im back to normal now. I met up with Miya this afternoon and took the train with her back to her station, we had a nice chat on the train but seeing her made me really miss her. I'm going to see miya again this friday after she finish off work and we're going to go watch Captain America: civil war. I'm pretty sure its a bad idea to see Miya but once i leave taiwan end of this month i wont be able to see her again till maybe next year. I'm still not 100% sure if moving back to melbourne would make it better for me.
Wow, so many years have passed since I last read this thread and checked your YouTube profile out. You're a trooper. Hang in there. Hope things turn out well for you.
you're a living legend, eiga otoko
Why didn't I discover this thread sooner?!!
Sigh I just went through two months of literally hell in June when i moved back to melbourne , will find time to update everyone
I hope things are going well my friend.
dicks out for Harambe
benson, you do it wrong. after 10y you have to know it.
i recommend read:
mark manson - models - a comprehensive guide to attracting women
mark manson - the subtle art of not giving a fuck
I've started college recently. There's this quiet girl in my music theory review class that I'd really like to get to know better. Problem is, I have a very small window of opportunity each week to talk to her--the class only meets on Fridays, and she's usually pretty quick to leave as soon as it finishes.
Any advice on how to find or create more chances to interact with her?
It's probably a good idea. Meet over coffee or something to discuss that class material. I would ask for her number at this point in case one of you needs to change plans. During your coffee study, feel it out and decide if it would be appropriate to ask her on a more traditional date.
OP here again, I hit a nearby coffee shop with her after our class today and actually got her number! The way it happened was a little odd though.
Basically we went and chatted, left with our drinks and talked some more. When we were about to head our separate ways I asked for her number, but she was sort of hesitant. After a moment she made up her mind and gave it to me, mentioning it'd be good for when she needs help with the theory class and whatnot.
The whole deal up till this point was going pretty well I think, so I'm a bit confused by the sudden hesitancy. Should I keep on this or is that a sign that she doesn't want that much to do with me?
As long as you don't do anything to creep her out, you're good to go. The hesitance she shown means she doesn't fully trust you yet, but don't think that her action says that she doesn't want to do anything with you.
I am not the OP but am in a similar situation. Once the number is obtained, how,does one go from "hanging out" to dating?
It's possible that she doesn't have any desire for a more intimate relationship with you, but regardless I don't think you should consume yourself over a brief moment. If you continue to pick up signals that show she isn't interested you should still have a decent friendship, because she might have cute friends!
You call and ask if she wants to go out on some activity. Lunch and a museum, dinner and a movie, whatever.
Sorry that theory girl isn't happening. Good luck with the flutist; hopefully you or one of your classmates throws a party and you can try to mingle with her there...
Where is a good place to go on a relaxing date where one can be cozy with their date? If the activity is too active, there is no time to be close with each other, but too sedentary and nobody enjoys themselves. Any ideas and advice are appreciated.
dicks out for Harambe
Hello everyone, this is my first time posting on 4-ch. I really need some advice. Even though I have been in Japan for almost 4 years, I have no real friends here. I know this maybe crazy to ask but I'm looking for a girlfriend and I don't know how to go about it. I have been talking to this one girl on Line, but I don't think it's going anywhere. How do I go about this being the type of person who basically stays at home except for going to work.
>How do I go about this being the type of person who basically stays at home except for going to work.
You need friends, first and foremost.
Get out of the house. Ask your co-workers out, stick to them, find people out of that group that have thing in common with you, bond and eventually you will met girls.
^be advised, this is advice coming from a total fucking loser
hahaha fuck, we're on the same boat. living here for 4.5years still no GF. All flirtings
i need help. There is boy 35. he is typist and i am comupter operator in same office. he is little religious i also respect religion much. he is much shy and beard guy. I want him to sleep with me, to open with me and share with me every thing. i want to get laid over him. he is 35 and i am 29. I believe that if ever i got by chance laid over him he would never dislike it, only would pretend that he no want to do that But inside he has not big resistance. he is married and have one baby boy. Some time he and i go out to take tea shop nearby office. Some time he pay for tea some time i. I already told you by any chance if we see each other naked in the same room, after that he will be close to me and would have not any objection. But i can not produce this kind of chance. If i call him to my house and to my room my family will think why a guy going to my room to my bed that i no want.If it is not possible tell me how i can forget him. Some time i kidding him that i want to do anal with him he smiles and replies me that you can. But he thinks i am only kidding he not know know i really want to do that in real. He some time need little money i can help him but i did not offered him openly may be he will think why i am doing this. I am already alone i no want to lose him i want him to be more close to me. Our religion and culture is much against gay like thinks this is why he is feared to be more close to me. Some time i offered him to watch porn movies with me but he denies. He is reserve kind. He dont know computer chat interenet like things. I can not share with him email he has not mobile phone. Last day we went to market to buy shoes for me. He went with me. We spent much time togather i buy some cold drinks and chips and some other smalle things to eat. He ate and thanks i thanks him for comming with me.
I'm sorry but if he is marriied you should try to have sex with him.
Find another man.
Wait! I meant to say you should not have sex with him. If he is married, do not have sex with him.
exactly, nothing you can do about it.. move on with your life. being obsessed with him probably alienated other people you can have a relationship with you just don't notice it.
dicks out for Harambe
Ok, so the story goes like this. I went for a 1 week vacation to Lloret de Mar, Spain. For those who don't know, this is, among Ibiza and Mallorca, one of the most famouse "fuck towns" Spain has. Mostly Dutch, British, German and Russian people come there to party around and fuck around.
So, me being the lucky guy, on my third day, I meet a girl who is from Sri Lanka but was adopted to Dutch parents when she wasn't even 1 month old. Later the evening I learn she's a virgin. Even a bit later I learn that she was somehow abused by her grandfather when she was 11, and I also learn that this memory sticks really hard with her, as she felt extreme pain when I stuck a finger in her pussy. I, in my drunk state, have held an epic speech to calm her down and make her feel better about herself. Man was this speech dramatic and grandios, I tell, should've written it down.....but I digress...
So, I meet with her another couple of days because she just somehow interested me. I forfeited fucking and actually partying around to meet this girl for the rest of my Spain vacation, and I even dunno why. Luckily, every night I tried to get her to feel better but it didn't work. Well, at least I got a half-assed handjob and blowjob out of it, woo.
So, the thing why I'm posting this is: we live pretty close to other. Well, she's in Holland, I'm in Germany, it's maybe a 2 hour drive with a train. Understandably, if you were abused by your grandfather, you have trust issues, but I saw that she has somehow fallen for me. I got her MSN, we talked, she told me that I'm one of the only persons she can really trust in a long time. Ok, now, how the hell can I make her forget all this shit and enjoy herself with sex? Because by God, she tried, but sticking a finger inside isn't the problem, now the real pain comes when I take it out. What could be the cause, what could be the cure?
Fuck her asshole and cum on her tits and face. Then ponder if it was good or not. If it was, then do it again. If not, you should /quit.
I'm going to have to agree with this fellow.
I live in the netherlands and speak fluent german. :3
but that is totally irrelevant to this story...
unfortunately I can't be of help. I only know a little freud, and everybody knows freud is just one letter away from fraud. Possibly there might be no cure. Think about what you want from a long term love relation. If sex is part of it (and why should that be wrong?) then you have to draw a line.
If you go at this with an impure motivation, it'll end up in misery, more for her than for you probably.
BTW, what cities? I used to live in Frankfurt
Well if you don't want to stay with her, that probably means you will have to break it off with her. Perhaps it's good to look up the best ways to break up with her, or maybe you can somehow find a way to be only friends, though having sex so early really hurts the chances of that. I suppose give her what you can to her for love and support.
You don't to be in a relationship with her, but you want her to get over her sex-problems. Do you know what kind of a message that would send her?
If she were to get over her sex-problems, that would imply her having sex and being okay with it. Otherwise, how would she know if she was over it? And if so, who would she turn for for having sex? The guy who helped her (you), right?
But you would turn down having a relationship with her. I think that would just end up hurting her.
So just leave her alone.
Hmm. I think differant things work for differant people. but...
be there for her, obviously.
there'll be time when she wants to talk lots, and there'll be times when she wants to stay silent. If she doesn't wanna talk about it, leave it be.
Let her control sex a little. If she says no, then no it is. If she's messing about, you get aroused, get halfway and she says no, it sucks, but no it is. Don't pressure for it.
"Well, at least I got a half-assed handjob and blowjob out of it, woo"
that sounds a bit like she wants to keep you, maybe. I'm not sure. Especially if she loves you.
This is all if you love her, of course. Its odd, but if you don't love her, theres not a lot you can do. she needs to learn that sex CAN be associated with love.
You people seem to be misunderstanding my situation. I am not in love with her...well I think that I'm not in love, at least. I dunno how to describe it, the reason I'm with her is not some dumb "lol just stick with it and then you'll get teh sexorz", but it's also not some heroic "I'll be there for you and help you with life". I dunno if you know it, but maybe it's this feeling you get that you just have to...well, "protect" someone.
It does actually feel really good when I see that she seems to have found a support in me. I think, not that I want it, but if I would actually break off the contact, it would hurt her even more because she kind of trusts me with all these things. I'm not selfish. Neither am I a saint.
Well of course it's common sense that you don't force a rape victim to go with sex. That would be kind of moronic. And with the blowjob....well, neither that she wanted nor that she could, but she tried, so I guess that counts as something. She said it looks like a long mushroom :-/
Well I suggest you keep helping her out no matter what! And when the time comes when she'll most likely confess her feelings for you tell her what you now feel at that time! Sometimes love needs to develope, At first you won't like them and all of a sudden you realize your in love. So if your in love with her then say it if not, then take it easy on her and tell her that you only see her as a friend.
what are you ...Jesus? Do you gotta go around saving all the abused Victims on the Planet. Are you Addicted to Victim Consciousness? (deep sigh, whatever)
If you Love this person, then stick around; but let her know that you're seeing other bed-partners, because you ENJOY sex, and you know she doesn't. Who CARES if she understands or not; the Truth is you Like-to-have Sex; and she's addicted to suffering & living in the past. Speaking as someBody who was Raped... i learned to let it go, so that i could enjoy living TODAY. And just because i'm not a (week)Chick doesn't mean chicks can't do the same.
dicks out for Harambe
So I live in the countryside of Japan. Not many opportunities to meet pretty girls out here, but I have met one. The problem is, outside of hand holding, she has been very non-commital. But whenever I give up on her, she emails me saying she really wants to do something with me.
I'm not sure about the rules in Japan. Does one just go for the gusto, like in the Japanese movies? Somehow I doubt life is like the fiction. I'm a relatively shy guy that got tired of being burned, so my progress is glacial to say the least.
Does one have to admit one has feelings, ala densha otoko? How do I move to the next stage.
Supplementary: she is six years older than me. Maybe she sees that as a problem.
you need to do her in the butt
i dont care who says theyre hot or they arent id still put it in all their holes
Try online dating like POF eg. The simplest way facebook or video-chats like originclub.com dating-chat and so on. There is nothing difficult man. A friend of mine met girl from RUSSIA on such a site. He even moved to Russia to met her IRL. I think it's easier to meet girl from Japan.
i'm japanese high school girl.
I may be able to answer this qestion.
(ﾉｼ´･□･`)ﾉｼ What about Japanese boys!?
dicks out for Harambe
I want to hold hands with someone cute in the Japanese countryside (´･ω･`)
Let's see what kind of perverted sick fucks browse this place
I've got a lot. Lately it's been impregnation. I really get off imagining knocking a girl up or fucking her when she's pregnant. It's weird.
I have a lot of fetishes! This list isn't even complete.
fetishes are part of romance?
My fetish is to use my body to create the next generation.
I just like big tits and office uniforms. I'm probably the most normal person you'll ever meet.
Yep. We've been officially together for about 2 months now. :D
We broke up just about two months ago. Shit hurts. Damned lesbians.
Thanks for keeping updated friend. please come back with news about your new girl
I'll be your Valentine this year, anon.
This was the first year I didn't have a Valentine. :/