Ok so I met this girl, at an anime convention... (I know, I know)
The thing is we really hit it off in a big way, she lives really far away so we both went home feeling fuzzy and warm and we now talk to each other all the time online, all really great stuff.
Now here is the rub: I am 21 and she is 16, while this is not a legal issue we realised while planning a trip for me to come and visit her that there is no way I can lie to her parents about my age, I just can't do it. She has already told them I am 19. I have asked her to speak to her mother before I come and see her as I just can't be dishonest and I don't feel comfortable coming into their home and lying.
Worst that can happen is we are never allowed to see each other, which would really suck, the whole fact she lives with her parents is a total reality check... WTF DO I DOOOO?
TL;DR: 21 year old guy with 16 year old girl, will the parents murder me when they find out?
what?????
what happen OP???
I don't know what to say other than I've made a mistake.
I hope that I can explain myself.
You explained yourself perfectly, and despite being incredibly drunk I hope I made some sense too! Oh That Girl, how I love you so!
Wait what?! 0_o
This is getting interesting.
What happened?
You can't just leave us hanging like that after the 3 or 4 months of this thread being here.
Explain yourself OP! That Girl? Someone?
39 here
come on! Im new in this thread and it ends like this? Explain urself OP! =[
Haha, sorry for leaving you all hanging
We had an amazing 4 months but from some personal reasons I got a bit stressed and it all blew up. But I explained myself and now I think we're okay again?
Very much in love I believe and only a better relationship awaits for us both. (:
42 here!
whaaat? stressed why....?
okay..... well i NEVER kissed a girl in my entire life.... and im totally ashamed of it. should i be?
If you're under the age of 22, no, you shouldn't. If it's so important that you are ashamed that you haven't yet, maybe you're not trying hard enough!
Actually, even if you're over 22, you shouldn't be ashamed of it. Just let things develop at their own pace.
i'm a girl, age 19 going on 20
had one serious boyfriend
never had my first kiss yet
I won't lie and say i'm not the tiniest bit ashamed, but I've come to realize I'm a late bloomer, and that's okay :) honestly it's just how you deal with it that's all, similar to what >>3 said, everyone has their own pace.
well my guy friends would tease me about it saying that your first kiss is the most important. and thats were im confused... why is it that important?
>>6
It's not the first, but the first that matters that is important.
Same thing for making love.
ahh so now im interested not to be wierd but is your first kiss like amazing? what does it like feel like?
Dang! I wanted the 1000th! haha
my 2008 was really bad... the girl that i was in love with picked my best friend over me.and on top of that shes totally ignoring me. hopefully 2009 will be better.
>>929 , What's so wrong about that? Sounds like a good thing, really. All my childhood friends are scattered off in various places around the world.
I've been using a facade of high standards and a broken heart to hide my debilitating shyness around the opposite sex in matters of "love". In actuality, I tend to fall for every woman that gets close to me.
Help?
Hueee! Just watch Densha Otoko and now I find the same thread. Lol, maybe there IS a Desha Otoko here? Secret Admire-san, are you Densha? : )
934, are you a ladykiller or what? Falling in love to every woman?! Maybe it's just your imagination, or your needs of love too much. Maybe... I'm not psychiatrist. : P
>>935 I'm thinking more of the third mixed with the second. I'm not a ladykiller, that's for sure.
How are the lonely hearts these first days of 2009, hm?
Hmm... maybe not XD
All hail singles! : P
sigh sigh sigh
i have totally given up my love life, it never works and i dont think it ever will =[ im 4ever in this thread
>>938
well maybe u should look around
there maybe someone 4 u...
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>>938
I think most of the users in this thread ever had such thoughts. maybe some of us still have and maybe some know better meanwhile..
I know it sounds dumb but it happens mostly if you expect it at least ;)
I've decided to stop pursuing relationships at this point in my life, because I'm too busy and it's too much hassle. Fooling around with platonic friends is soooo much better.
Why is this concept so difficult? If you're a foriegn man in Japan you're hot stuff, even if the women in your home country turned their noses up at you (not that there aren't tons of great guys too, but I've seen plenty of "she's with him WHY?") Why do women have such a hard time getting a serious relationship in Japan, and more importantly, what to do about it?
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Since the 1980s, Japanese guys are pretty much brainwashed by media that
"Gaijin men are romantic gentlemen with high status, whereas, Jap guys are ugly perverted sexist pansy little nouveau-riche with small dick. They only deserve their right hand to stroke their dick. They should stay the fuck away from girls of any races to prevent contaminated genes from being spread. But Japanese women may contribute to reproduction because Japanese carries genes to make kawaii women."
On top of that, media emphasize so much on the appearance of men being more important than anything else. That's why many mainstream kind of guys tend to appear cheap, cheesy, and shallow. They've had SMAP long before US had the Backstreet Boys and NSYNC.
With the beauty standard getting diverted from natural Japanese facial and bodily features, (I wouldn't call it "getting westernized," as they are only influenced and not fully accepted) these days, I can see that Japanese men have a massive inferiority complex towards caucasian women, aside from general shyness towards opposite sex. And as far as I observe, Asian guys living in white culture is struck the similar way through stereotyping. Their status as romantic potential is even lower than black men, and media usually makes sure to let it spread throughly to Japanese men.
>brainwashed by media
>Japanese men have a massive inferiority complex
>Otaku Cultures developed so much in Japan
I think you yourself is skewed towards one view, lol, just as bad as the media.
>I think you yourself is skewed towards one view, lol, just as >bad as the media.
The fact that you separated a lol with two commas is amazing.
>>370 i think this answers it pretty spot on
400
401
Some Jap girls are totally white washed for sure, and Europeans are Nazis at heart.
American girls are more liberal, but many of them like to criticize everything, as if they are the most sophisticated people alive-- like those raging drama queens in Sex And The City with so many issues that make every decent men turn around and run to the other direction.
But reality is that those American girls are fat and ugly feminists whose life style is nowhere near refined, whose aesthetic is nowhere near sophisticated; and for some strange reasons, ones that are interested in foreign affairs tend to fall into such stereotypes.
Oh, yes. Such as involvement in foreign affairs, and living in foreign countries make especially white Americans feel soooo cultured. They feel so cultured that they will attempt to correct your pronunciation whenever you mention some obscure foreign dishes.
I can see why gaijin girls are unpopular among both Japanese men and gaijin men.
I mean, what kind of losers want to spend precious time with girls whose existence itself sounds like a joke on its own?
I've got a big school dance coming up and I need some ideas for asking out a girl. I don't wana do something cliche like having the teacher give out a popquiz with hers being the only one that says will you go to the dance with me? and come out with flowers. But other than that i don't have any other ideas. So please help!
Honestly, I've never heard of that pop-quiz idea, so maybe it's not as cliche as you think? Also, flowers are nice, but why not just ask her directly and/or casually, as if it's just like asking her to the movies. That's all it really is anyway, just another date that happens to be bigger and better than the typical date.
Hi all. I really need some advice on my current situation.
I'm a lesbian, and I met a girl on OkCupid about half a year ago. I wasn't interested in her romantically, but we watched anime together online every week. Suddenly, about three months ago, she began flirting. I was entirely taken off-guard. She's really, really pretty, popular, socially normal-ish, and out of my league. I hadn't even considered the possibility of being with her, but when I realized that it was possible, I quickly fell for her, hard. I flirted back, of course, and she asked me to go on a date with her a few weeks later. We live only an hour from each-other, so I drove to see her and had the best time of my life. We met offline again a few days later, but we met at her house and I felt really awkward around her family. After that, she began straying, and told me a couple of days before Christmas that she didn't want to date again and just wanted to be friends.
At this point my heart was basically pulled out of my chest, thrown on the ground, and stomped upon. I'm sure a lot of you know how it feels. She still wanted to be friends, though. Tonight she called me while I was asleep and cried to me for three hours about how the girl she's been dating since Christmas (?!) and kissed on New Years (?!!) is suicidal. I was honest with her and told her that she's ridiculous and stupid for dating a suicidal girl.
Well, I wouldn't call the other girl a "bitch" (what has she done wrong), but for sure I also wouldn't waste such an opportunity to get closer to her. Nevertheless, from what she says, you have quite a bit of work in front of you, starting from understanding what she is afraid of.
Three way lesbian rape tiem.
OP here. The date went really well. So well, in fact, that she invited me back to her place afterwards. We cuddled and watched anime. It was great. But still, she's seeing the other girl.
What should I do? Should I just try to go with the flow or actively push for her?
I think that since you are smitten for the girl, you should go for it. It won't be easy, it may be painful, but perhaps you will win her over. I don't see as yet a reason to stop.
I think this chick is fucking stupid. She goes on a great date with you, and then hooks up with another chick a couple days later and is getting into the relationship way too seriously for them having only been together a few weeks and dealing with her emo bullshit.
captcha: daw.
Girls are suckers for emo bullshit. Sex 'em up, drag them into being all emotional over you or anything, really, and bam, hooks are in, they dote, and you win by being a loser.
Happens all the time.
honestly if she's already gone out with you a few times, and its been great and is suddenly with someone else then you should move on and find someone who's not going to pull that crap on you.
My girlfriend is a senior in college and about to graduate. She has either one of two options -- go to grad school for her master's or get out with a BA and go get a job. She wants to do the former but it's going to be difficult to do. She has to really focus on schoolwork this semester because she didn't do so well last semester -- so much so that her "assured" grad school position is now dependent on her grades this semester.
Meanwhile, I have to do well this semester because I did absolutely terrible last semester. I'm a sophomore shifting from Software Engineering to...well, I don't know, but SE is not what I need to be doing anymore. I'm taking English courses this semester because it's what I'm good at and I need the GPA boost.
She and I both sort of enabled each other to do badly last semester -- we were there to comfort each other, but we did it too often. We almost provided for each other an escape from reality -- the reality that we couldn't just huddle up in bed together and hope that even though we were putting things aside for each other they would magically get done and we would both be successful and not do badly. Turns out we enabled each other too much and, well, we both didn't do well in school.
I know that I can't allow myself to give her that kind of escape, and I can't let her do the same for me. Neither of us can afford to let the other do badly in school, and over the holidays she convinced herself we would do that best by separating. We just had a long conversation and she decided against that, saying that we should just see how things pan out this coming semester.
You don't have to completely break up with her, but you may have to distance yourselves a bit more. I'm assuming you've got horrible time management skills. Meet with her and discuss that both of you should concentrate on the semester and set up rules as to being mutually distanced for the next semester. Less dates/time around each other is acceptable as long as the both of you can get in a date every once in a while when your both have time, like after finals (the last of them between you and her) as finals of many classes are schedueled roughly the same week. If you can talk to her on the phone, then that's alright as long as it doesn't cut into studying hours or class hours.
OP again, yeah, this is what I pretty much figured we needed to do. I've discussed with her that we need to schedule ourselves a lot more and focus more on ourselves individually and not each other as a couple. She's not quite sure what to think of it yet because it's a new idea and she's never really done this kind of thing before. Even then I think she'll be pretty understanding to it all. If anything that pretty much supports what I think we need to do so thanks :)
(I know it's a long read, but feel free to skip the whole thing and only read the two-sentence tl;dr summary. It sums it up quite well.)
Hello, /love/.
I'm new to this place, but from what I've read here, I have the impression that you people are kind and understanding and give good advice. There's something I've been wanting to get off my chest for quite some time now, and I think this might be the right place to talk about it. Will you listen to my story?
I'm a twenty year old guy, and my romantic situation is quite simple. I, undoubtedly like many of you, do not have a lover and have never had one, and I, probably like some of you, do not think I will or should ever get into a romantic relationship.
Being a high functioning autistic, I have enough trouble even understanding casual friends and acquaintances, let alone a lover. I don't think any romantic relationship of mine would have a bright future. On top of that, I'm incredibly shy.
But that's not my problem. In fact, possibly unlike any of you, I'm fine with being alone. Or so I think, at least.
The complicated part is the solution that I have found to counter that dreaded feeling of loneliness. This is also the reason why I won't talk to people about this, save anonymously to people who have probably seen weirder things, because I'm afraid they'll consider me crazy for it.
I'll try to be as less shallow and edonistic (is it spelled right? edonistic? i am not really good at english so give me a break) but women are a necesary evil, unless you are gay and then men are an necesary evil - what i mean is that one can't be alone forever and love is a goddamn rollercoaster 'cause it has its ups (ups like "motherfucking yeah i am happy!!") and downs (like "i wanna forget that bitch") but in the end sex is a primal need so what you are feeling can be translated as sex urges, but still you can be an honest romantic (like me 3 years ago) and you seriosly need to be cherised and cared for.
Either way, ronriness (as you put it) is common to anyone, my advice is to at least try to get close to someone, like an experiment of sorts, and try to have fun with it.
Does it matter whether or not your girlfriend is imaginary?
For all intents and purposes, she was real to you. She had an independent will (at least, you could not consciously control her). Though she had no corporeal form, our long-distance friends that we only see through the mail, internet, etc. are the same. It made you happy to treat her well and to spend time with her.
So, what difference does it make?
The way I see it is: while imaginary people can serve a purpose, treating them like real people is a waste... All of the time and effort you put into your imaginary girlfriend, who can't truly feel emotions, could have been given to a real girl whose thoughts and feelings genuinely exist. You could have actually made someone else happy too.
Of course, you have to enjoy the relationship, or it's not worth it either... perhaps when you were "dating" Vanessa, you weren't ready for a real-life relationship; you would not have been able to derive happiness from one. But now that you two have "broken up", perhaps it's a sign from your subconscious (because I don't see how an imaginary person could have truly independent will; s/he on some level must be controlled by you) that you're ready to transition to real-life beings...
Hey OP, you write that you're an autist. From your post it is apparent that you don't understand how our non-autist mind works. You don't understand what pleasure is. Our mind works a certain way but is always questioning itself nevertheless. Satisfaction is receiving an honest approval of the workings of your mind from a different person. An imaginary friend can't provide THAT.
>>78 all that is nice and fair, but who cares? if it works for him, thats good enough, and more (real) girls available for the rest of us. It's a win-win situation =^-^=
It's pretty patronizing to say "you don't understand what pleasure is". If he doesn't have the same concept of it as you do, who cares? Why does he have to change his own definition of pleasure? It's not hurting anyone.
This is truly beautiful, and I don't think anything is wrong with it. You are slowly creating your own reality, it's not that bad of a thing. I Dream about a girl also. It is only in my sleep, and when I wake I hurt as if I have lost something very dear to me. I feel strongly that she exists in the world we call real, I often want to find her.
I don't think OP is 100% honest to himself
I hate to use this but...
yeeaaahhhhh━━━━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━━━━ !!!!!
Heres my story, a good friend of mine suggested that I start hanging out with them at school instead of going home so early. So I did, I eventually met her other friends and we got pretty well aquainted. One in particular plucked a string in the guitar of my heart. So we started talking and I thought I was coming off as weird as usual.
One day she told me that she was late for class because she missed the bus. From there I decided to give her my number if she needed a ride. She never did call though (;_;). I was just being my usual nice and fun self for the next few weeks.
Then it came, I just heard from a friend that she liked me... I thought I was in the friend zone for sure! Like I said from the moment that I met her I had a crush on her, and for the first time in my life I actually know whats going on! Oh my gosh I'm so nervous right now... keep going... So for the first time in my life I have my first shot at a real girlfriend... I feel so excited, but scared at the same time. I just have to be myself in front of her and talk to her more now... But I don't knwo what to do! I might be too scared to talk to her the next time I see her! What do I do guys!? _l¯l○
Glad to hear from you again. Sounds like you're doing everything right, as far as this girl is concerned, so don't be so nervous.
We had a nice conversation on New Years eve/day. Whenever we talk we never run out of things to say! The only reason why we stopped was because we were both tired. But one things for sure... what guy wouldn't be nervous talking to the girl they like? I have to summon everything I got to not studder or mess up. I'm feeling really confident right now! ^_^ Although I'm not the same as I was months ago, I still have some more evolving to do. I've never asked a girl to be my girlfriend before because I was so afraid of rejection... So afraid of failure that I gave up on succeeding... Me and many other guys out there need to just jump already!
Although I'm still a bit off from actually confessing myself =P I miss spending time with Tamago! Curse my otaku habits! I get so caught up with games and anime that I lose so much time! SD:FLKJ
I just finished reading this thread from the top...
n u'r story is soooooooooooooooooooooooo nice hahahahaha
Ganbatte ne
Hope your love bloom quickly ☻
This is... adorable.
Hurry up and confess! XD
I'll call her later tonight... and possibly set a specific date and time for us to do something together. Its really been too long since I've seen her and break is mostly done!
Its the start of the new year! I still don't think I deserve all the good things that happened between me and her, but I'm honestly happy. This is the happiest I've been in such a long time. When I do confess I hope I can atleast spread my newfound "life" to her too!
have u called her yet?
well IMO,I think that u deserve to be happy n tamago 2
so confess tonite hahahahaha :D
JK
well take your time
u'll know when u just gotta say it :D
Otakun is so full of innuendos, it's sweet :)
gogogogogogo Otakun
just remember this
we got your back when u'r gonna confess to Tamago
hehehehe I wanna say it for a long time...
i kinda remembered when i first watch the Densha Otoko drama
n when i see the ending, i kinda wondered if there will be time when i can feel like all those great people who's supporting Densha...
and here i am now :D
where's Otakun??
My biggest problem by far 4-ch is where to MEET girls.
I'm in a college where 70% of it is male, so meeting one in school who isn't taken is almost impossible. I'd like to be able to go out on the town and find someone but I don't drink so a bar or something like that is out.
In short, where do single girls looking for someone usually hang out?
Also if it helps I'd like someone in the 20-22 age range. Or at least close to it.
Tell me when you find out, I'm in the exact same situation.
My friend ran into a similar problem. He joined a fraternity his freshman year. He doesn't have a problem meeting girls, just staying with them.
well, go to places where you'll find plenty of girls: church, creative ateliers, dance courses, theater clubs, whatever. 50%+ people are female, they can't be hiding very far from you.
Well post 5, my best friend tells me church is the best place but I'm not nearly as religious as I used to be and don't do well in that enviroment at all, and those other places don't fit my interests at all.
>>6 well, it looks like you are not ready to make some efforts, so don't be surprised if things don't change for you in the near future.
Your best hope now is to have friends/family who will give you access to girls.
I can see why you don't want to meet them in church (that IS kinda depressing O__o") But if you join a club like >>5 said, x) or maybe find someone through a friend or something xD
Bars and clubs are the best, but they're out, apparently. You need to find places where people go to relax and hang out, a coffee shop, maybe? Friends, family and church are horrid choices, too many people already know you and it makes it harder to find someone who isn't going to be influenced by your past. Far better to find someone outside those close-knit circles, someone you can be your real self around. Plus if it doesn't work out you won't be marked as someone's ex so easily, and it's less likely they'll have heard her angsty shit about you before or after you split up.