Love and Romance @4-ch

Man where do I start? Three years ago I met girl A, fell in love far too fast and basically thought she would be the one I would marry. But ultimately we fought too much, she "dumped" me many times when I did things not to her liking, like going to anime conventions. Slowly we were drifting apart, to the point we were on a status of "dating", even though we still loved each other.

Fast forward to last week. I went to a convention, she went out of town so it wasn't too troublesome. Then I met girl B. But heres the deal: girl A is 25, I'm 24 and girl B is 17. But girl B and I kind of hit it off, and we got really close, she was so cute and tender and incredibly mature that it surprised me when she said what her age was. We went....far enough, that I started feeling badly. I told girl B we should be friends and she was kind of like whatever.

Throughout the following week I couldn't stop thinking about girl B. And as of the mid week I decided that I would somehow end it with girl A, the drama was too much. So basically today, I broke girl A's heart by admitting what I did with girl B. girl A now thinks (rightfully so) that I'm a cheating rat bastard and I don't think I can fix things, but the messed up part is I don't want to, really. I don't want to get married anytime soon or commit to anything, not like I used to want to. I essentially grew over time to pull away from her. I'm such an evil bastard I know.

1. Make sure you're worth the trouble, yes you. If you're gonna keep up being a "bad guy", stay away from serious relationships.
2. Don't mind the mothers lack of consent (unless you agree she has a good point in you being a bad idea), she already have no say legally, and once B moves out she will have no say whatsoever. It's up to B to decide who she wants to be with, not her mother.
3. You and A were already breaking each-others hearts or whatever you want to call it, before this more drastic issue of cheating. You have to make a judgment of your relationship as a whole, not just one isolated event. If the two of you can't agree to get along somehow, you're both better off breaking up. Better now than after marriage and kids. At that point separation will always have permanent negatives, right now wounds inflicted will be of a more temporary nature. Assuming you can both move on with your lives without going emo.
4. Learn from these mistakes and do your best never to repeat them.

I'm OP. I have learned something very scary. girl B is a high functioning autistic girl, I never noticed but she told me recently. Which classifies her as a "mentally impaired" person. So long as she is under legal care of her guardian (mother) anything I do could be charged as statutory rape because the laws are written to make anything done, whether the person is competent or not, as coercion. And girl B told me today, sneaking in a call, that her mom and now her dad won't budge on this. Basically I could face legal trouble so the next time B calls I'll have to tell her that if we want this to work, we need to stop talking and give in to her mother's wishes until B is legally able to make her own. And honestly I'm willing to wait. But right now her parents have all the power and its not worth risking it. FML.

Thanks for the feedback second poster.

Wow that's what I call a plot-twist.
Well with this new information on the table, abide by the law. Good call. Seems like you really care about this girl, I respect that. And enough good will shown, perhaps her parents will also come to regard your interest in her as sincere.

Good luck

I've dated my girlfriend as friends for a month, and she became my girlfriend on valentine's day. So basically, we've been together for almost two months.

I've tried to kiss her, but she won't. I asked her why and all I got was: "I'll kiss you when I love you".

Also, whenever I touch her randomly, she has a shock reflex action(?).

What should I do? I feel like she doesn't like me at all.

argh.

Hey , in my opinion u should take a break so this girl can think about ur relation , i'am sure that she'll relaise that she made a mistake and after u 2 comeback she'll kiss u back

wtf.

girls are weird.
normally the first thing they wanna do when they are in a relation is to kiss.

just try to create a moment where she feels relaxed and special about herself. Than try again.

not sure what to say else.

have any experience with girls? (kissed before etc.)

Kissing seriously? If she doesn't feel comfortable kissing you why are yous dating?

Thanks for the advice, I'm definitely gonna take a short break with her.

sounds like she's been abused or raped in the past.

perhaps she doesn't love you as of yet... does not love you enough to kiss you. wait until you want to fuck her.... i think you'll have to wait for a decade at the very least.

Perhaps you need to find someone who isn't retarded.

This girl has, for what ever reason, decided not to kiss you. It's doesn't make her retarded, it doesn't make her weird, it doesn't make her a bitch. It's her choice and she can do whatever the fuck she wants. She doesn't owe you anything.

That being said, you have to figure out whether you want to be with her and tolerate her choice. If you want to date someone you can kiss thats fine, break up with her, that doesn't make you a bad person. However, don't stay in the relationship and then pressure her to kiss you. You have no right to do that.

i have a big problem. i like this girl but when i was young and stupid i touch her waist two times i know dumb right. so now she hate me like hell and ignore me. so can i get some advice on what to do to make it up to her. i tried to writing a letter to say sorry but she won't forgive

>>1
"i like this girl but when i was young and stupid"
sorry but i am sure you are still young and stupid. You touched her waist... she ignored you for half a month... you don't love her... you are horny... she is uptight... if you sincerely apologize for touching her waist (which i still find funny) and she still doesn't care, then get over it. Cause seriously, all you did was grab her waist... i mean if you went tried to steal first and second with out her knowing... then that gives her a valid reason to hate you...
grabbing waist... getting ignored for half a month... not worth it... i dont want to even think about what happens when you grab her boobs from bad signals.

thank u for the advice but i did it as joke and i was not horny but i don't want to give up on her she is wonderful girl but if she don like me then fine but she cover her face in class and never talk to me which is bad because i cannot work with her. plus her friends keep telling her bad things about me and she does't talk so i don know how to deal with it

looking for a Date...

http://urlz.at/18andsingle

I had asked about internet dating a few weeks ago, and, much to my surprise, actually met a cutie with a ton in commom with me, from my college within a week.

My school is on Spring Break right now, but I made plans with said girl to hang out after we returned, so as not to lose her interest over break. I suggested we find a place with food we both like that also served beer, and she felt more comfortable just going to my apartment ( :D ), as she's a little anxious and shy in public places.

Anyway, I've never been on a date before. I've fingered a female friend on the bus in highschool, but never had a true date or kiss anyone or anything. Is there anything I should keep in mind? This'll also be the first time I see this girl in person. We have similar taste in RPGs and comedy, and she even likes Azumangah Daioh, so I figured I'd try to find something we could watch and cook a small dinner and have a small amount of decent beer with her. Everything else I'm a little unclear on. Would it be creepy to compliment her appearance when we first see each other? Would it seem cheap to cook the food myself / should I order delivery instead? Are there any cool interactive things things that'd allow us to get to know each other better? I'm a huge fan of conversation, myself, but I'm sure a lotta girls want to see you put in more creativity and effort in than that. Are there any decent kissing tutorials, in case we have future dates?

girls like compliments... think about if a girl said you looked kinda cute.. win win. cooking shows you can cook... also a win win... willing to go to your apartment... win win... fingering a girl on the bus priceless...

You're on the right track. Cook a nice dinner, watch a good movie, and play it cool. Even though you'll probably be nervous as hell at least pretend you're relaxed. She'll probably be doing the same.

> any decent kissing tutorials

Go slow and soft, less is more. Even if you get into a heavy make out session you should pull away as much as you go in.

> I'm a huge fan of conversation, myself, but I'm sure a lotta girls want to see you put in more creativity and effort in than that.

Don't put too much effort into it, bro. For one thing, you don't want to set a high standard because then you'll never be able to relax, always trying to live up to the last date. It sounds cliche, but it's true: just be yourself.

We've been dating for a month now, and I hardly get to see you. Even though we dont live that far away, our busy schedules keep us apart. I'm lucky to see you once a week, and even then only for a few hours...
I wish we could go back to the way things were when we were not dating, we saw eachother more often then. But now you have your project due soon, and I have my finals and work.
I know a month really isnt that long of a time to be dating, and people would tell me to just suck it up because so, but we've been "dating" as friends since christmas, I was always just too much of a pussy to ask you.
Last night, I was listening to Vanilla Twilight by Owl City (who you know I hate), but I couldnt stop listening to it because that's how I feel.

all in all, I cant wait till you are done with your project and my finals are over, because then maybe we dont have to worry about going whole weeks w/o seeing eachother.

I'm 21 (well 20 at the moment but I'll be turning 21 this year) and sad to say, I never had a boyfriend before. I've been asked out twice in my life time and both have been rejected (the first one doesn't really count because that was back in Grade 7. The Second one was a friend of mine. I didn't really seem him anything more than a friend). I've been hit on quite a few times-- those guys were either too young or had girlfriends.

Honestly, I don't think I'm ugly at all. I'm slightly chubby (size 3 in jeans) but I'm healthy. I'm quite outgoing and I'm just a bit shy when I meet people for the first time. However, I do start getting talkative when I get to know them more. When my friends and I hit the clubs, I usually just stick with them the whole night.

I guess this subject of finding what love is didn't really hit me until last year when all my best friends suddenly had boyfriends and I was the only one who didn't. I feel like I'm being left behind like I'm missing something I should be experiencing. I do want to find out what it is like to fall in love with someone but I feel like I won't find him at all. After watching some shows that had 30+ year old women who is looking for love, I feel like maybe I'll turn like them too and it scares me. I know probably it is my fault for having quite a high expectation but I still don't want to go out with just anyone. There was a guy that I "like" from high school (still kind of think of him now and then too) but the only problem is that I haven't seen him for nearly 3 years (he graduated a year before me) and that he doesn't really know I exist.

I think you should let love find you. And it will, don't worry. Just continue to have fun, try and get outside and meet new people, and you'll find somebody you like. Love isn't always an instant thing - falling in love is something that happens over time, with a person you like/are attracted to.

Also, if you put love onto a mighty pedestal and expect it to be like it is in the movies, it'll only make things harder. Everyone has their own definition of love - it isn't universal. You'll know when you've found your own love, just let it come naturally and try not too think too hard about getting the "perfect" or "special" man; feelings aren't always rational, they don't require the man of your dreams to make your heart beat fast.

Yeah, I totally get what you are feeling. I am also 20 going onto 21. It just seems like recently, but i don't even have single friends anymore... All of my good friends are all dating and it feels pretty uncomfortable to go out with them anymore.
But like post 2 says... just wait it out sooner or later right?

OP, you're right about one thing: there is no special person out there. Best you can hope for is to find someone you can tolerate, and who can tolerate you. Mind you, I don't mean to make it sound like that's easy; most people don't even find that much.

The truth is, most people out there are unhappy, regardless of whether or not they're in relationships. Don't make the mistake of buying into Hollywood's promise that "true love" will make everything better.

I think it's important to note that the feeling most people call love (like butterflies in your stomach) is just a chemical reaction in the first months of any relationship. It's a nice extra, but not the whole foundation a relationship is built upon. I've known quite a lot of girls who thought something was wrong when that feeling faded away after some time and therefore broke up with their boyfriends and even went as far as thinking they are unable to have a long-term relationship.

I am telling you this because you had no boyfriend yet and i don't like the idea of someone's first relationship ending because of such an issue.

>chubby (size 3

You're fine the way you are, believe me.

would you change or refrain from making any changes to your appearance if it would please your partner more? or do you think how you look is totally an individual thing and if your partner doesn't like it he/she isn't worth dating anyway.

i'm talking about more 'basic' changes like haircuts or dressing; not stuff like plastic surgery.

Well, if my partner said I look better with a certain hairstyle, and I didn't mind that hairstyle, then sure I'd change to it. But if my partner says I should change it to something I honestly do not like, then I won't change to it. I think it's fine if my suggests something he/she likes, but forcing me into conforming simply to please him/her is a no-go.

If the change is something that will benifit you, then yes. Like, if my partner wanted me to lose weight, of course I would start working out more. Because not only will it make me more physically appealing to them, but i'll feel better about myself too.

I can honestly say Ive never been in this type of situation. Im a boxer, kickboxer, and do Tae Kwon Do, plus weightlift and run all the time so I can honestly say Ive never been told to have a "sexier" body. I figure that if I was told to get bigger or more ripped I would consider it, but I really cant say.

I've only found this "channel" a few weeks ago, after watching...that movie, u all know what I'm talking about. Anyways....I'm 27, currently working at a McDonalds....for now at least. I live with my sister and her husband sharing a two bedroom apartment. So...I worked at McDs for about...three months now. On my third day....I think.....is when I met her. A cute 19 yo studying to be a nurse community college girl. Well I think I like her.....but this is not the first time this has happened to me. Like from Jim Carey of Internal Sunshine....etc, once said "why do I always fall in love with every girl that gives me the least bit of attention". I'm a bit desperate for a relationship. I haven't been in a relationship since High School and it was a short one. Lets just say I didn't know what I had until it was over. So now a full adult I still don't know what to do, but I want to start. I like this McDs girl....just "like", I haven't passed the stage yet where I'm hearing love songs every time I see her. Also I only see her like once a week. cause she only works in the weekends and I work in the weekdays. Each week I'm starting to look forward to the weekends cause it's when I see her. I really want to get to know her BUT my main concern is....I really have nothing to offer her beside myself...and I'm not that great looking. I want to know is.....should I start/ask her out. Should we start as friends....but what if I stay in that category? Is it ok if I tell her up front and just say that I like her. I've set up so many scenarios in my head....but they are all unanswered. Frustration at myself is starting to take it's toll.Im becoming insane. So.....should I start and hope for the best....or don't even try, you'll only get hurt....or just start as friends and take the long....long....LLLOOOONNNNGGG road.

If you decide to befriend her, don't go overboard. Just drop some hints that you like her.

> Internal Sunshine

I stopped reading here because I couldn't stop laughing

start out as friends, work your way from there. Just don't take her to McD's on a big date. Find a nice coffee shop or small restaurant and see if she'd be interested in meeting you for a meal. If this is still in the friends stage then it doesn't even have to be expensive, a great plus! Good luck!!

I think in the beginning, I thought of that also just befriend her at first. But I am afraid I might lose her to someone else. I just found out the as well....according to our schedules...I will only see her an hour and half on one day in the weekends. I don't know if god hates me or anything...but I have the best of luck ever. But I will at least....I know I said at least. I will trying to be friend her in that short of time. Each day I'm starting to think I am falling for her more and more. I've been listening to some love music lately. Thank u guys, if this thread still alive I'll try to tell u guys what happens....maybe.

Oh come on, after all this good advice, psh. you'll be back for more...

^- ^ yup, and here I am. Not at work yet though....I'm off tomorrow and the day after. But on Sunday....we will meet and O_O I don't know what to do.....I don't know how to start a conversation...I mean what should I say to her other than a simple HI!. U know, But she did mention that she had a face book.....Maybe I should ask her about it....X______X I could see it now....(Hi! could I stalk you..eerr I mean can I have your face book address) -____- I don't have one maybe I should make one first......

Well it was Sunday yesterday.....so far nothing went on....I have to wait a week to see her again. I know where she lives because I have given her a ride home once before. I want to call her up and maybe ask her to just hang out...but I don't have her number..... Damn. I don't know if one of my other co-workers know her number. Maybe I should ask this other girl whom she talks to a lot. I think I have a plan....I'm going to pick up my check on Saturday The right time when she's about to go home. Maybe I'll offer her a ride and then ask her if there is a place where she would like to go.......MAYBE? I don't know........ what do you guys think.......-___-(I don't know what to do)

Go for it, Hideki. It seems like a pretty solid plan. You should ask her number directly though, not from her friends, a personal experience is better in my opinion.

Also, definitely make a facebook account now, so she wouldn't think that you made it just for her. You might find some of her interests from her profile there as well so that will help you with finding common interests. Good luck.

sigh ..... The one thing I didn't count on was that well, she already had a ride with one of our co workers..... -____- well at least....I got to see her. Anyways maybe I'll just ask her her number when I see her this weekend. I'll just ask her the reason would be if she would like to hang out sometimes. Cause really I have nothing to do in the weekends beside draw or go out just to walk and take photos of random things...... each fail account bring my hope lower and....lower....but I still like her enough to keep trying.