I've been meaning to make this thread for sometime now, on the Net Culture or General board. This is a much better place!
In this thread, we talk about any online relationships you've been in on the internet. Discussion about online relationships and whether you've seen them work or not is also encouraged.
Let's hear it!
My girlfriend is 3000+ miles away. We have been dating online for six months, and never seen each other in person. It will be two more years before we are able to meet each other, because of our age.
I have dreamed of being in a relationship like this one. It is so perfect. She's very loving, and very affectionate. She's really cute (definatly my ideal girl), and we even have similar hobbies! Sounds perfect.
But, I am the kind of person who hugs pillows at night wishing that they were her. I don't know how to bring up our future to her. I don't even know if I should. I know I want to be with her in person. I just don't know how to go about asking "what's going to happen?" and planning out our future together. She's shown some signs of wanting to be together, all of which have made the happiest man alive, but I don't think I can just say "so, what're we doing when we turn 18?" for some reason.
Also, she seems very open IRL. She's complained about guys touching her in school before, feeling her boobs - this seriously pisses me off! I wish I could do more than urge her to tell someone who actually can do something, or stand up for herself (she's really way too nice (and trusting) to EVERYONE), but in my current state, I can't. Her myspace also has some guys leaving comments that seem to be uh, very friendly, but this might just be me being jealous.
I do know that she is a very sweet girl, though. I just don't know what to do on these minor subjects.
This has turned into a novel of a post, so I shall hit submit
（－＿－）
Well... I've been talking to this girl online for the past 2 years. We've gotten to the point where we know a lot about each other, seens various pictures of each other, and can pretty much discuss anything.
No doubt, if I met and befriended her in real life, I would have asked her out by now.
However, I don't believe in online relationships, especially when she's so far away. Unless one of us happened to move to the other's area, we shall simply remain online acquaintances.
But then again, I've met lots of girls online and asked myself "Why couldn't I have met you in real life?"
Of course, the answer is that if either I or them acted like we did online when offline, we would be completely different people.
I knew my fiancè 6 years ago, I knew him in the IRC.
I didn't think about love. I thought about a pretty friendship and he thought the same.
I lived in Peru and he lived in Spain. The love arrived in 2000, we decided to be together and I traveled to Spain in 2002.
Today we lived together in an apartment in its city and we have plans to marry.
It is difficult in the beginning, but it is not impossible.
6 years later, we are together.
I was in an online relationship when I was younger. We met in a pretty improbable way (I was demanding that someone bake me an internet pie!), and talked for quite a while before it went beyond simple friendship. We did get to meet, once - I'm in Arkansas and she lived in Alabama, so it was only about a 6-hour drive. I stayed with her family for about a week, and it was some of the best times of my life. Her parents actually liked me! I'm not entirely certain what brought us together like that - but I honestly loved her. Ultimately though, we fell apart because what she wanted me to be was contradictory - she didn't like that I wasn't completely independent of anyone else, but at the same time she wanted me to do/be what she wanted. In the end, it just wasn't meant to be. It's sad.
I wish things could have worked out, Amber.
I had a great online relationship with this girl who was about the same age as me, and we shared some interests etc etc. Then I got an opportunity to go visit her (she was in another country), and when I got there, I found out that the phone number she had given me was wrong, belonging to someone else. She became completely unavailable online. Finally, on the last day before I had to return home, in late afternoon when it was already starting to get dark, she suggested I go to some park in a less populous area unknown to me. I almost did this, but thought better of it.
There was more, but I don't feel like writing about it. In any event, that was the last time I would participate in any "online relationship" nonsense.
I have a "working" online relationship. Needs more money or else cheaper plane tickets.
>>6
That's sort of a sad story. :(
>>8
Not really. At that point it was more of a relief.
It also put things in perspective; I now know that of the people you chat with on the internet, those that actually care about you at all (even non-romantically) are the exception, not the rule. And that if they refuse to exchange letters or talk on the phone, they're not exceptions. Which leads into a bunch of "net culture" related topics...
I guess it isn't a happy story, but >>1 didn't say they had to be.
I think it's kind of funny and sad how the "girlfriend in Canada" meme has become a part of our culture these days. Erm, that might be putting it a bit strongly, but...
Not really. Looking back on it, I have no idea what the hell I was trying to say.
Sorry bout that.
I've seen it work with my friend. Although, it definitely took the relationship some time to develop. Actually, it was more like, "I didn't see that coming."
Women are all whores, don't bother.
Instead of trying to have relationships you should rape as many as you can. In the future women will have no rights left because people (aka men) will realize that they aren't human.
Rape good.
>>15
True. Women can barely think as it is. No intelligent man would consider a women human.
>>16
No intelligent man would spell the singular of "women" women either. Therefore, you must be a "women".
>>15
Hey, John.
I think it would be awesome if we took men's rights away. Remember that all you need to reproduce is a woman's egg cell and advanced technology. It wouldn't be just clones--one day we'll even be able to merge two egg cells' contents together. You better be glad women haven't done something about you lazy parasites yet.
Your piss-weak attempt at some sort of male-bashing troll has earnt this thread a sage. NOW GO AND DIE KTHNXBAI
Wow DQN and /b/ moved in here pretty fast... And >>21 needs to learn the point of sage.
In any case, to me, it doesn't seem like online relationship could really work out. For companionship, yes, they could last quite a long time of chatting and so forth, but I'd never expect anything like marriage to come of it. I've talked to a close friend for about 1 year now without any real life contact but rather online. We share a common interest, FFXI.
I see people in-game declaring their love for one another (and through in-game marriages), but it kinda reminds me of "grade school romance". "<3 Seipher 4eva!" and whatnot.
I'm married to a lovely woman I met online. And the first woman I ever really fell in love with I only knew through email and snail mail.
In both cases, I did have enough information to know that they were on the level.
Stupid, fucked-up things can happen in online relationships. They can also happen in real life (I'm currently attempting to shepherd my sister and her now-ex-boyfriend through a sane and clean-ish separation, which was showing signs of going amazingly pear-shaped prior to me and my wife stepping in). Just don't be stupid, is all.
>going amazingly pear-shaped
What?
>What?
pear-shaped=bad
I don't think an online relationship would work for me. It's not that I say it's impossible, all people are different. Some may not have an urge to feel a human, they could be perfectly content with just chat and talk. Don't get me wrong, I love both chat and talk, but in a relationship, I seek more than that.
Many of my friends are people that I met online. That's handy, because you're able to meet up with people from all over the world with the same interests as you. However, it might be that you live far away, too far to ever meet up with online contacts. Could a guy possibly stand living in Finland with a girlfriend in South Korea? Sure, one could get in touch with a person partner living close, but I don't think that's what this thread is meant for. Long-distance relationships, with only a few (or maybe no) chances to meet each other in real life. Most human beings need being close to their love.
Do you ever wonder about what might have happened if you'd gone to that park?
you do relise that allot of those people that declare their love for each other and have in-game mariages are mostly people that know each other offline and are b/f and g/f there too
i agree
We must run in different circles. I think I prefer yours.
>>29
My exes got married and had an in-game wedding a week after the actual irl wedding. That was awesome.
Im not saying its impossible for me to meet someone online and have a RL relationship but I think its highly unlikely... Maybe if we actually heard each others voices over Vent or even TS or something of that sort would it even have a chance... I'm the type of person who likes to talk and not really type... Guess its just a preference...
>>33
you see, i'm the opposite. I hate talking but can type away all fucking day about everything and anything.
I always thought I could never get into an online relationship.. I'm always all "LOL INTERNET" and can't really take it seriously. Plus people always act so different online then in real life.
I have seen it work out though, between someone I know very well who now lives happily with her BF she met online.. but I still never really thought it could work for me.
But right now I'm so busy with school (and no opprotunities there, long story short) I don't have much chance to meet guys... I started to crush a little on the internet now... arg... I hate myself for it! I feel like a lamer.
I guess a lot of it comes from a guy who I though I liked "IRL" and then when I started to talk to him online.. he showed me his "true self".. barf. I don't trust people much I guess.
>>35
I always thought I could never get into an online relationship.. I'm always all "LOL INTERNET" and can't really take it seriously. Plus people always act so different online then in real life.
I agree with you, so I have never tried to find chicks on the net.
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USE YOUR HAND
sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesnt.
As I spend 95% of the day online i know many people on the net. Many found their love, some even moved together. One guy even married the girl and the have a child now.
As for myself i met some girls but only had a online girlfriend (met in real life too) once :(
The Internet is the wrong place to look for women. It is a sausage fest. Men outnumber women online by some ridiculous number. It is like getting into ham radio to pick up chicks.
And yes, I have tried, and no, on those rare occasions--once, maybe twice in each year of looking very hard--that I have found someone I felt really attracted to and wanted to meet, it does not work. Most often she wants absolutely nothing to do with me. Or, worse, she is married, or she has a boyfriend, or she is a man, or she agrees to meet and I travel two days to get there and my cell phone never rings, then I return home only to discover that she has been calling me an asshole and weirdo in her Livejournal for the past six months, all the while pretending to care when she talked to me.
You are not going to get laid here. You're NOT. Everybody on the Internet who's looking for love is a desperate lonely horny male geek, exactly like you and me. You are more likely to get struck by lightning or win the lottery than to hook up. Give up on it now before a lifetime of rejection and humiliation makes you as bitter as it's made me.
>>40
Actually I've read that females outnumber males on certain websites such as LiveJournal.com. And I in fact have a friend who literally got laid as a result of that site, so clearly, it can happen. Now, I suppose trying to pick up chicks on IRC would be rather stupid, on the other hand.
there's a guy (i'm gay, btw) who seems to be seriously in love with me after only a couple of days talking on MSN. he seems like a really nice guy, but.. it's rare that i can feel that way about someone without actually meeting them, or at least knowing them online for a long time.
Be careful with that one. Sometimes someone discovers they really like someone from minimal interactions. Other times, the person in question really just has a tendancy to "fall in love" and just as quickly "fall in hate".
Despite the fact that he's rushing it, take your time.
You know what rules? Having your wife develop a romance in MMORPGs and then decide to stay with that guy for good.
I suppose I shouldn't complain too much... I found her on the Internet to start with. :-/
Ouch. Condolences, >>44.
I've been through a lot of surprisingly difficult relationships over the internet. The last two did a pretty hard number on me, as they happened in rapid succession. The first was short, but I had fallen hard. The second lasted over a year... but the breakup was even worse. It took well over a year for me to get over it and start to move on.
I had promised myself that I wouldn't do it again. A relationship online, I mean. I think, for awhile, I had considered not getting in any kind of relationship, real or otherwise. The second breakup did that much to me.
But now, I've found someone who I can't help but feel strongly for. This person's intelligent, a gamer, is into anime, and generally likes a lot of the same things I do. The only problem? I don't know her very well and I tend to lock up around her. We usually chat on IRC and can go back and forth pretty well in a regular room. But I was PMed for the first time tonight and I just panicked. It was really weird. All the memories I thought I had buried surfaced again and just sort of threw warning sirens up. I've been in a funk since that, thankfully, I appear to be easing back up out of.
I'm not exactly sure what I should do. Do I try and make the past just that and try getting to know her better? Or do I simply stay where I am, at a safe distance, and be happy that she's willing to talk and joke around with me? I honestly have no idea what I should do. Sorry for the long post, but I feel better now that I've gotten this out somewhere.
the more i talk to this guy (or the more he talks to me) .. well, he's really starting to annoy me. i feel like i'll have to meet him now, otherwise he'll just be a noise on a computer. CHRIST MAN I WANT TO SLEEP
actually that was way too harsh on the poor bastard. i'm just tired.
The internet is admittedly one of the worst places to find romance of all. Not impossible, but one of the worst.
I've asked people in the MMORPG I play in why they're so desperate to get "married" and find and online girlfriend, their answer: People are more sincere online and it's not about the looks, it's about personality. I think that's bullshit, anyone can pull out a fake personality online, simply because everyone's anonymous to some extent.
>>49 I agree, and also it's easy to pull a fake personality without really meaning to or even noticing it.
as for my exerpince, I met her on IRC 11 months ago. I love her very much and she loves me. I didn't go around "picking up chficks" on the internet (in fact, in the past, i've made o fun of people with online relationships), but then I couldn't help myself to fall in love after awhile. She's great, we'll be meeting soon.
I've tried searching online for love, but it just doesn't feel right sometimes. The most I've gotten to is just instant messaging.
Anyway, any decent looking girl who puts up her picture is probably gonna get swarmed with PMs from desperate guys everywhere. Even if you ain't desperate (relatively, lol), she might just lump you in the whole group.
Anyone who says dating on an MMORPG isn't about looks obviously hasn't camped in town for hours waiting for a certain piece of clothing to show up in a shop.
lol
hmm. yeah. there's absolutely no way i can sustain an online relationship as well as the person on the other end of it. i just can't take it even remotely seriously. plus there's someone else i can't forget about.
OTL
i had an online relationship with a girl who lived very close to me, and also went to the same high school! But we've never really met in real life, only on the internet. whenever we met in real life it would be very breif and we've never really been with each other for more than a minute.
We talked everynight in the summer until 4am, and i loved her so much. We always talked on the internet but never online. Its a sad story :( I was too afraid to meet her in real life because i didnt want her to be dissapointed of me ( in real life i rarely can say a word especially to girls).
Once my friends try to force me to meet up with the girl at her house but i got really scared and refused, I didnt want to lose her by screwing up, i guess i was really paranoid. In the end i guess she got turned off and we dont talk anymore.. Orz
THIS ISN'T WORKIIIING
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dont make relationships with girls in video games. my friend, actually poses as a woman in final fantasy 11, and milks this guy for all that hes worth, they talk on aim/msn and wahtever, and exchange words and etc. etc. creepy thing is, my friends sent this guy pictures, of this hot girl he knows, so, hes none the wiser at all, his whole set up is so real, and so scary, no one would be able to tell if it was a girl or not online, thats, scary. i mean, my friend asked the guy for money just because he wanted this sick crossbow. And what did the guy do? he went out and farmed for 2 mil and gave it to him, thats just...man.....i say, thats damn cruel, and well, my friend says, "good buisness"
hahahaha ahhhh cruel and funny at the sameeee time
another story. my friend has "dated" a few guys online, because of her location circumstances. however, many of my friends and i have looked down upon her for doing so (mabye because i liked her), as you just cant see the real person in real life. if you think about it this way. shes never talked to these guys on the phone. only on aim, and in games. now a persons mannerisms online and offline are two totally different things. of course, offline, i suppose im pretty shy and reserved. online, i can be, well, way different i suppose. so, how do we know your online romeo isnt really a wifebeater with a short ass temper in real life? online, you have alot of time to think about what you want to say to the other person and can create whatever persona you want for the other person. Also, even if you called them, its not like, its for a long time, they could change themselves just for that 10-30 minute intimate phone call you have with them. So all in all, online relationships, im a bit on the negative side with them, but if you do, just, GET CONFIRMATION ON IF THEY ARE WHO THEY ARE, thats just my warning guys
I'm going to have to agree, online relationships are a train wreck. I've tried to make about 3 of them succeed but end up in failure, I think RL (Real Life) realationships are the only way to go, sure you can meet and understand a person intellectually online but if you do get that chance to meet them your perspective is completely shot. I met this one woman online once and she seemed to be absolutely my perfect girl, we had the same interests and everything. After talking for a bit I noticed she wasn't all that great but still had some of the same interests so I went along and decided to meet her. After about 2 meetings with her and one to her house it turns out she was a complete FRAUD she was not the woman I thought she was personality wise anyways, her name address and college she attends were all valid but the personality she created was so not her and I just couldn't stand it any longer.
My conclusion to this post is, do not date online if you want to save yourself the frustration and confusion, but if you do make sure you fully understand the woman first and call her more than just once (like I did).
bear in mind also, my friend was AIRTIGHT, making freakin, myspaces, and xangas, and what not, AIRTIGHT.....lol beware. and, he even got consensual consent from the girl in the photo, in case the guy ever wanted to meet up, thats really i think, just airtight...
>>64
youre a great example of my theory
Been through this shit two times with girls who lived on other continents. Yes, we did meet for longer times irl.
No, it didn't work out. Yes, it wrecked me. Boohoo.
Screw it all.
I have an online boyfriend. We've been dating for 2+ years now.
It works. We both have perfectly healthy normal social lives, but I'm awesome and he's awesome so we fit together perfectly. Plus his parents are richhh so We get 50$ Southwest tickets every couple of months and have a week-long visit.
It's really really hard to say goodbye at the airport.
It does work, but it is rare that it will.
I have been dating my boyfriend for three years, we got engaged, and he moved to be with me.
Things are still working great, and he started off halfway across the world.
I wouldn't recommend it because people tend to feel more anonymous and act differently online, but if you do get lucky, good job.
Good luck.
I met my fiance online - we happened to be living only about 20 miles apart but we exchanged emails for about 6 months before we actually met. Having said that we emailed as friends, it didn't become a relationship as such until our 3rd meeting! But it was a good way to start getting to know each other.
Now we have been together almost 3 years, I have moved to Japan to be with him (he is Japanese, he was studying in the UK) and marriage - even trying for a baby - is definitely on the cards in the coming year.
I'd say online relationships are a good way to start, but it has to become a RL relationship at some point if it's going to work.
>>70
That last sentence there is incredibly insightful and non-obvious.
In ten years, people will realize that the internet is a part of real life.
If we're lucky.
>>70 still has the right idea, but the artificial divide between real life and THE INTERNET is just too silly for words.
I've seen online relationships blossom into real life relationships. None of mine ever have. Now I've had two with girls that I've actually loved: one so fucked up that it'd take many paragraphs to explain it, the other was pretty good until the girl suddenly decided that she didn't wanna be in any serious relationship.
It's usually the distance that gets to me. I'm a poor guy, and a poor guy can't afford to get plane tickets and whatnot. When a relationship with someone far away becomes serious enough that you wanna move to be with them, that becomes a challenge when you don't have the necessary funds. You get to the point where you love a girl, and it's hard to not physically be with her. you get this desire; you wanna hold her in your arms, and feel her with your own hands. You can temper that feeling a bit if you don't mind simulating actions online or whatever, but you can't dismiss it completely.
You don't have to be totally paranoid about people faking their personalities online. People can fake them offline too. You usually hear people talk about their ex-lovers become "totally different people." I think online though, people are often more uninhibited, and you get to see their true personality show. Now about gender-benders: I think I myself might be wary of chicks in online games. I think what you have to do is think about how well you know the chick. If you've been talking to her as a friend for a while, then that adds to her legitimacy. The people who get fooled by those sorts of "chicks" in online games are the people who are desperate enough to go after any random girl online.
You also wanna talk to your partner over the phone sometime. If you're just shy about it, just explain that to your partner, and if she actually likes you, she'll understand. That's vital not just to confirm identities, but to help you feel closer. You also wanna exchange lots of pictures. And if you're pretty sexual, maybe some naked pictures! Cause those are always awesome.
Another thing that bothers me when I'm in an online relationships is the time not accounted for. When they're not online, might they be in trouble? Could they be cheating on you? It's hard to get away from those thoughts, and if they turn out to be true in an online relationship, then that could ruin them for you, and only serve to increase your paranoia.
Online relationships can sometimes work out. They're not for everyone, but more people should be open to them.
> I think online though, people are often more uninhibited, and you get to see their true personality show.
This is naive. 90% of human communication is nonverbal => not being yourself is easy to do online, often by accident. You don't get an accurate idea of someone's personality at all.
> [regarding chicks in online games] I think what you have to do is think about how well you know the chick. If you've been talking to her as a friend for a while, then that adds to her legitimacy. The people who get fooled by those sorts of "chicks" in online games are the people who are desperate enough to go after any random girl online.
Sounds like wishful thinking. I'd add, at least, that if your online lover frequently behaves erratically (e.g. abruptly stops responding and never explains why), don't bother. You're being led on.
Assuming that statistic is true, 90% of physical communication is non-verbal. But that begs the question of what comprises this communication. Now I could think of hand motions, expressions on the face I suppose. Most online communication is verbal, but emotions can still be expressed. I don't know how you can "not be yourself by accident." You can act different online (MORE UNINHIBITED PERHAPS) than you do offline, but you are still you. If you don't have a mental disorder, and you aren't actively trying to cover up your true personality, then your true personality is going to shine through either way. When I say that people are often more uninhibited, I mean it because online people don't feel as bogged down by the conventions and pressures as they do when they physically communicate. It could evolutionary, as the brain hasn't quite evolved to deal with cyberspace yet. The point is: online, people are more likely to speak their minds, because they don't have as much to fear.
It's true that for the same reason, it is far easier to conceal your true motives. But when I speak of unhibited people, I only speak of genuine people.
"Sounds like wishful thinking. I'd add, at least, that if your online lover frequently behaves erratically (e.g. abruptly stops responding and never explains why), don't bother. You're being led on."
That can be true, and I only said it ads to the legitimacy. Although it is far less likely that the chick in the game is using you if she talks to your frequently, and asks you for nothing. That was what I was driving at. Of course if you actually want to start a relationship with such a girl, then I would definitely suggest you try and get a better grip on who she is. So like I suggested, you should be talking to the person on the phone, get lots of pictures, etc. Another thing you have to pay attention to is personal information. if she isn't willing to give much out, then there may be something amiss.
i've had an online boyfriend for a while. god i want to dump him, can't stand the guy. but his life is so goddamned shitty that i think he might actually kill himself, which obviously i don't want to happen.
That foo aint gonna kill himself. The breakup will happen eventually anyway. What will you do, marry the guy so he won't "kill himself?"
> I don't know how you can "not be yourself by accident."
Quite easily: by listening to music that changes your mood, being at work on something in the background, or just deciding, without realizing it, that you're going to act differently than you usually do. Perhaps it's a personality-type thing?
> You can act different online (MORE UNINHIBITED PERHAPS)
I find this very hard to believe, and suspect you're extrapolating from yourself. Most people are far more comfortable conversing out loud than juggling text. Also, the cost of a careless remark is lower in person, where it's likely to be forgotten rather than logged forever.
Logged forever? Stuff like said on the image boards is deleted regularly, just as many forum posts are.
"Quite easily: by listening to music that changes your mood, being at work on something in the background, or just deciding, without realizing it, that you're going to act differently than you usually do. Perhaps it's a personality-type thing?"
Moods change offline too. That doesn't mean you become a different person. And if you decide to act differently, then that isn't an accident.
"I find this very hard to believe, and suspect you're extrapolating from yourself. Most people are far more comfortable conversing out loud than juggling text. Also, the cost of a careless remark is lower in person, where it's likely to be forgotten rather than logged forever."
Many people I know are more comfortable online than off. Some people are pretty comfortable in both situations, too. I think it depends on the type of person you are too, and how much you use the internet in general. But that snippet from my post doesn't really stand alone, as the point that follows was trying to express that just because people act different in different situations, doesn't mean they are deviating from their personality. For instance, someone might be more talkative around friends than strangers. Someone might talk differently to friends than they do to parents. And someone might act a little different online. It also depends on how we define "personality," I guess. Personality could mean how we act without an ulterior motive. Or it could mean how we act without restraint.
Offline, people have a physical presence. You might be wary of offending the person, or making a fool of yourself, because it's difficult to get out of a physical situation. Online, it can be as simple as blocking the other person, or just ignoring their messages. That is why many people express themselves more fully online.
And of course I'm not making any general statements. There must be people who feel more comfortable offline, and otehrs who feel comfortable anywhere. But I don't think there's reason enough to warrant the suspicion of everyone you talk to online--no more so than you should suspect people offline. Because offline as well, people can purposely alter their personality, or have a varied disposition depending on the situation.
As for something online being logged forever. That's only true if the person decides to make logs. And even then it's not exactly "forever."
> Personality could mean how we act without an ulterior motive. Or it could mean how we act without restraint.
Usually on a line-buffered internet chat medium people will have at least the latter.
> Offline, people have a physical presence. You might be wary of offending the person, or making a fool of yourself, because it's difficult to get out of a physical situation. Online, it can be as simple as blocking the other person, or just ignoring their messages.
Great example of why people express themselves more fully in person. You know the person you're talking to isn't going to suddenly leave, get disconnected, etc. And it's a lot easier to offend when the person you're talking to has no tone of voice or facial expression to go on.
> As for something online being logged forever. That's only true if the person decides to make logs.
IRC/IM software often logs by default. I find it difficult to communicate sensibly otherwise, since I can't remember what I told whom yesterday or last week.
For perspective, I have IRC logs of myself being an idiot as far back as 1999. Even if I got all angsty and decided to cover up history by deleting them, I'm sure others would have logs of me of the same vintage.
logged forever haha many an argument with my ex was won because it just so happened the converstation we were refering to was one that we were having through icq （＾∀＾）.v
I had a relationship almost 3 years with a girl around 10 hours away from me. She ended up breaking up with me because I started spending all my time with my friends instead of in my roon talking to her. Which I'm glad I did. I lived at a boarding school for art, and made my best friends there, which I probably wouldn't have made had I spent all my time cooped up in my room chatting with my girlfriend.
Also she was interested in a guy that had been hitting on her for months ;(
But truthfully I HAD been pretty selfish. That event really changed me. I don't think she would have been disappointed had she given me another chance, but well, both parties have to want it, don't they? Thankfully life goes on.
Anyways, took it really hard for 2-3 months, dated a girl for 2-3 months (and I did a damn good job at dating her if I do say so myself; she broke it off though because it turned long-distance and she didn't want to deal with it. WUSS!), single for 7-8 months, and here we are today!
For the first month or so, I thought I would never get over it, but I can honestly say she is NEVER on my mind nowadays :)
My sex drive has been going crazy lately, but I think it's finally starting to calm back down.
I'm glad you're story has a happy ending ^_^
I have one... He's totally pissing me off.
>>86
Dump that internet loser and get with one of us internet losers!
>>87
Eheh... It's impossible dump him >_< gosh, what I did?!
I'm in love with someone I got to know in web. No chance we have it seems.
is it true that if you like someone from the web its a absolute no chance?? but theres so much people that falls on the net ~~"
Maybe there is really no chance but I won't give up~
woww!! i support ya!! goodluck!! maybe i shouldn't give up as well!
I have had two online relationships, and both lead to something in real life and for long term. The first one went on for 2 years and 11 months and the other one has been going on for a little more than five years now. We still live far apart and use the internet to communicate with each other daily. But the problem in making the relationship work is very good communication skills. If you are unable to communicate with the other person or show them you care, then things can go down the real fast.
That was the problem I had in my first relationship. We both had poor communication skills with each other and it was worse when he made promises that he didn't keep or wouldn't talk to me often. My second boyfriend, however, has been my friend for many years before we started to date online, and we were always very close. He would be the only person sometimes who would be on my invisible list and I would often chat with him for hours at a time very happily.
We still chat online, but we also supplement it with phone conversations and trips to see each other. We are so good at communicating with each other that I often don't have to explain myself in so much detail-- he'll get the point or sense when I am too distressed to want to push a certain topic further.
I think it just takes luck, patience, and a lot of courage to be able to trust or leave yourself open to a stranger on the internet. So be friends first and then lovers later!
ヽ（・∇・）ノ
woww!! soo far i am waiting for the girl i really like to email me back. i waited for 1 month now, we talked on the microphone always for 5-6 hours ~"~
I had two online relationships... my first was constructed of nothing more than lies and frabication for her simple amusement and I was burnt. The second well it was pretty good for a year till we actually met which then her dad stepped in, but then I did manage to get a really good and understanding friend.
so no regrets there.
>>86,88
i had one who was pissing me right off. but i could never bring myself to dump him, until i got really, really drunk. you should try it.
alright, enough happy end stories, time for some serious internet DRAMA, bitches.
roughly 3 years ago, while in the youths of my college years, a classmate of mine introduced me to a foreign mmorpg.
thereafter, i met a very cheerful/respectful girl after finding the english community for the game.
back then, i was pretty much a spineless, introverted, socially-withdrawn, full-blown wapanese otaku (games, anime, j-pop.. etc.) i couldnt stare at any girl in my class for more than 2 seconds in the eye. i couldnt even bring myself to say the word 'shit' or 'fuck' irl.
i instantly fell in love with this capable, independant, nice, intelligent, and game-loving girl. we spent much time chatting in her mirc chatroom with a bunch of other english players of the same community. after about a year of gaming with her (and other friends i made while playing that foreign mmorpg) our interest for each other grew rather steadily. though i never asked her for a real life picture of her, because i wanted to believe that i loved her personality from my heart, and not for her looks.
it was some time shortly afterwards that i finally brought enough courage to say the words "I love you." over msn.
i should of known something was wrong when she casually replied, "you know, a lot of people said that to me before. but they've never meant anything to me... but you... I love you too."
i should of known something was wrong, cause i got a weird feeling at the time when she said that. but nooooooooo, being the naive virgin dumbass i was, I thought i was the happiest man alive, being loved in return from a girl i respected and desired.
and then i felt like i just got married or some glorious shit for like a week or 2. then weird things started happening.
i would message/pm her at times, and she wouldnt respond. or not talking to me as much, giving excuses like "oh, i'm busy griding in so-and-so game, or i've got tons of homework." almost like she was avoiding me, the weirdest part is that, she never said anything that remotely suggested that she was actually in love with me. no fake hugs, no fake kisses, nothing.
all i'm left with was the feeling of pure, cold, emptiness.
i told myself, "dont worry, just give her some personal breathing space, she's probably really into her game grinding right now, or busy with school work, or both. just give her some time, she's a good girl."
this continued.. for days.. weeks.. months.
fuck, i even memorized the maintenance days for when the game server she was playing on was going on, so i know she was avaliable to chat with for those measlely 1.5 hours.
i was a desperate and blinded kid, with no experience, and my mind was literally deteriorating while i waited.. waited.. waited for that single moment when she would talk back to me.
at some point. i finally snapped. I was getting delirious. "She's a smart and talented girl, why the hell would she love a loser like you?" "she's going out with other guys, you know it, you just dont want to believe it." "She only enjoys you for your quirky personality, she wants to keep you as a clown, entertaining her forever. she never actually loved you." I finally left her, leaving her a rather bitter message about her heartlessness. she, of course, being the sensitive loving being she made herself out to be, banning me from her contact in all shapes and form.
i was free again.
..until half a year later. i grew some confidence. and decided that what i did wasnt a very polite way to end a relationship. as a friend, or lover or otherwise. and re-entered her chatroom and try to just assume a normal friendship again, since obviously being her lover didnt work out so well.
we made amends, and became casual friends again. and things were lively again. this continued for another half a year.
until finally, a particular night came.
she pm'ed me a message:
"Hey. you've always wanted to meet me, and i've always refused them right?" (she insisted we never meet before, because she didnt like meeting people over the internet or some shit.)
me: "yeah, what about it?"
her: "well, wanna meet? i think i'm finally ready."
me: "are you serious?"
her: "(time)(date)(location) i'll be wearing a black jacket."
when i finally got to the place we were supposed to meet at.
i finally found out why she had been acting the way she did.
i finally found out why she always refused phone calls, or webcams, or meeting in real life.
was it the long black hair? no.
was it the chubby figure? no.
was it the ugly face? no.
i could of forgiven all that. at one point, i honestly was ready to accept her no matter what she looked like.
but not when she was, actually a man.
>>97-100
TRUST NO ONE. IT'S A TRAP, etc etc
Thanks for amusing me
lol it's a trap
shit she was a man, wtf. what did u do then???
>>103
it turns out, that he was feeling sorry for some desperate loser like me, and pretended to be a girl that liked me to get my hopes up or some idealistic shit like that. but he didnt actually think i was seriously falling in love with her, enough to fall into depressions because of 'her'.
in retrospect, i was very glad that he finally told me the truth.
i imagined he trusted me enough that i didnt go ballistic over the matter when we finally met and beat the shit out of him or something.
but when i first met him and found out, i talked to him like it didnt bother me and that i kinda knew that it wasnt real to begin with. but in my head the entire time, my brains felt like they were frying and melting, thinking: "THIS IS A FUCKING JOKE RIGHT, ONE OF THOSE JOKES WHERE THE REAL GIRL HIDES SOMEWHERE AND ASKES HER MALE FRIEND TO PULL A PRANK ON ME, RIGHT!?!?"
"THIS IS NOT HAPPENING, GODDAMN SHIT FUCK, WHAT THE FUCK, IS THIS SOME SHITTY DREAM!?!?"
i felt like puking as i left the meet afterwards.
i kept handing out money on hobos i met on the way back home too, to try to get my mind off of the whole ordeal. I dropped all my coin change in one bum's cup, it was so heavy that he nearly dropped his cup.
i gave another trash digger a 5 dollar bill. and he was like "HOLY SHIT!"
went to sleep that night in fetal position hoping i'd wake up to the real world.
all in all, i think i came out of that experience with a lot more than had i not.
I'm a lot more mature, open minded, and confident now.
and i hope my (tragic) story gave some of you some insights or laughs. i know i certainly look back at it and laugh at the desperate mistakes of my own youth.
wow. beautiful. bravo. so yeah, what happened then, trap guy?
>i gave another trash digger a 5 dollar bill. and he was like "HOLY SHIT!"
lol'd
Omg,.. I didn't want to give up, but I was never hurted like that before.. There is really no chance. I have to give up.
Wow...I'm sorry.
>>104 man i feel so sorry for u~~" but stil dont give up! keep trying ^^
Dam... thats gotta sux
lol and I thought I had it messed, but ya you see I played this game called Ragnarok/RO where over 70% of the females there are probably well males. Meeting people online has a big risk I'm not saying it doesn't work, but the chances are quite small. I once dated someone online that I met from Ragnarok, it turned out she lived 10 blocks from me, I met her one day and she was a really fun person but after meeting her friends I realize that one of them liked her too, so then decided I couldn't compete with someone irl so eventually I just dropped it when her dad got involved, But at least now I have a good friend^^ and I DDR sometimes with her bf.
but ya pure relationships online doesn't work unless at least parts of it are irl like eventually you have to bring it in real life.
Depending on your luck though I guess online relationship can sometimes be helpful for people who are too shy in real life or are an loser irl like how I used to be.
back in back in gr 9, I was your average ugly gamers freak with no fashion sense, or any knowledge of how to talk to people. I met someone online though a friend, and began dating her online, I have to say I found out she was a complete whore (she dated online one of my best friend before me and afterward dated a bunch of our other friends). It was one of my first relationships, it was shitty and I was hurted but a few month later in the summer I dated again this was who I considered to be my first gf, and I guess the online relationship in some way prepared me for it.
from the shitty online relationship I learnt more about things girls worry about, how to dress, how to act, and basically semi changed out from a ugly gaming freak to somewhat more normal, in the end I have to say I guess everything in life can be something that prepares you for the future.
A question to all of you who had some kind of online relationship, failed or not. Where do you actually meet women online? I doubt that 4-ch is a good place :)
There are a decent number of women on 4-ch, but the anonymous thing probably gets in the way.
i'm not sure where guys would meet girls online but for girls, but for me, gaming is the place since it's like...70% full of guys =O~ tho i usually don't tell people i'm a female cuz there are some crazy guys out there x_x been harrassed a few times and had to report them to the GM >_>;;
Hint for all of the 4-ch females out there: If you want a guy that is intelligent and mature do not act like >>116.
>>117
Yes, seriously. Don't use that many smilies unless you're under 14 or mentally retarded.
A problem for me when talking to girls in games or on the internet in general is that they are all the huggles kind, it makes me sick to my stomach.
>>118
hint: those ones are traps
how many people here meet girls from online games??
If by "meet" and "girls" you mean,
"go down to Crawler's Nest and grind some experience with a Mithra in my party",
then yes, I do.
>>120
I've met a few traps so I always assume that there are no girls on the internets. Except my brothers girlfriend maybe but that doesn't count.
hahaha THERES NO GIRLS ON THE INTERNET! ITS A TRAP! ITS A TRAP! ITS A TRAP! ITS A TRAP! ITS A TRAP! ITS A TRAP! ITS A TRAP! ITS A TRAP! ITS A TRAP! ITS A TRAP! ITS A TRAP! ITS A TRAP! ITS A TRAP! ITS A TRAP! ITS A TRAP! ITS A TRAP! ITS A TRAP! ITS A TRAP! ITS A TRAP! ITS A TRAP! ITS A TRAP! ITS A TRAP! ITS A TRAP! ITS A TRAP!
on the internet, guys are guys, girls are guys, and children are FBI agents, nuff said
ITS A TRAP! ITS A TRAP! ITS A TRAP! ITS A TRAP! ITS A TRAP! ITS A TRAP! ITS A TRAP! ITS A TRAP! ITS A TRAP! ITS A TRAP! ITS A TRAP! ITS A TRAP! ITS A TRAP! ITS A TRAP! ITS A TRAP! ITS A TRAP! ITS A TRAP! ITS A TRAP! ITS A TRAP! ITS A TRAP! ITS A TRAP! ITS A TRAP!
"There are no women on the internet. In fact, I'm pretty certain there are no women at all, although I've never left the basement to check."
Games seem like a really bad place to seek relationships, from what I've heard. I don't think I have met anyone, not even regular friends, in a game.
Though really, it's hard for me to say anything bad about finding someone on the internet. Although I definitely don't prefer an internet girlfriend to a real-life girlfriend, I have never had any problems as far as someone turning out to be completely different than they seemed to be online. I have only had one internet relationship, though, which ended a year ago (I am >>84). I think as long as you're smart about it, you probably won't run into problems. I had known and talked to the girl in my previous post for a year or two before we decided to "go out", or whatever you call it on the internet.
Although I somewhat vowed never to have a long distance relationship again, I think I have fallen for someone online for the second time. I have no doubt she is a girl etc., though I don't know if she even wants a boyfriend. But we have been pretty close the past few months, talking about this and that almost every night.
Anyways, I think you definitely shouldn't fall for a girl online if you haven't seen a few pictures of her, talked to her, known her for a few months, basically you should be 100% confident she is who she says she is.
>>125 >I don't think I have met anyone, not even regular friends, in a game.
No kidding. Everyone is so unfriendly. I would like to start a relationship with someone from an online game, but that is just impossible.
>>118
I thought I was the only one disgusted by that shit.
(I'm a bit shy in real life with people I dont know, and having moved after high school, I dont really know anyone where I live now...being slightly wap and dorky enough to be on this board in the first place, I dont feel comfortable with "normal" guys, and at school, I dont come in contact with many people who share my interests.)
That being said, I am in said online relationship, having met my boyfriend through an online friend and of friend. It started slow, and there was a lot of "oh god, this is very long distance and the internets" time where we would try to take things slowly but would always end up still wanting each other.
After a few months we began talking often on our cells and via msn, and I believe we were both very honest and open about ourselves. It took us over a year to finally meet, but he came and stayed with me and won over both me and my family - because we were both honest, he was exactly as I knew him to be, our time together was great (it's embarassing, but we read /b/ after sex a few times), and we plan to try our best to see each other as often as we can and to wait until something permanent can maybe happen.
Just like in real life, there are a lot of people who play games, play the field, misrepresent themselves, and merely want something from you (paysite lol).I seriously believe in finding love online, but like real life, it takes a lot of honesty, patience, and commitment (also it helps if you are used to relying on fapping).
Good luck to everyone like me, hoping for a true nerd love story with a happy ending.
FFXI!<3 I love you.XD
Actually, I have an interesting story. I met this one guy over the internet on this one forum that I frequent, and he actually confessed to me first. We agreed to a boyfriend/girlfriend status, and were together for about two months. He dumped me, though, kinda wimped out on the long-distance thing.T.T We're still really good friends, and I still hope to meet him someday. He's caught up with his family's business right now, so I won't be able to see him, but I'm sure we'll meet someday.:3<3
Oh, at one point, when we were still getting to know each other and becoming friends, we were trying to figuire out how to prove I was a girl. I suggested he ask me to do something silly, like write his username on a piece of paper and take a picture of myself with the paper and send it to him right away, or cross my eyes and touch my nose with my tongue at the same time. If you have a digital camera but not a webcam, this is the best way to go about it.<3 It can get really fun, too. He sent this really silly picture of him looking like he's about to eat the camera.XD
just call him? it's a lot of fun to talk and hearing each others voices.
If its too expensive because you are living so far away you can also just buy a microphone and use Skype or MSN or Teamspeak. They are really cheap :3
I wish I were better at talking to girls over the phone/skype/etc :( If I don't pay attention to how I talk I come off as sad or depressed, and of course I can't think of anything to talk about! I fear that awkward silence more than anything.
>A problem for me when talking to girls in games or on the internet in general is that they are all the huggles kind, it makes me sick to my stomach.
Me too, though I have met of few of those kind which I sort of mentally fell for.
"I'm that sort of hikikomori who can't even make friends on the internet" [Satou-kun - NHK]
I'm actually very bad with phone calls myself, but if you find someone with similar interests as you, it might end up being quite a lot of fun. If I'm interested I'll talk forever.XD Just ask simple open-ended questions and such, like "What's your favorite TV show?" and such. Remember to have an answer ready yourself.^_^
It's not that hard online.XD The internet gives you a bit of anonymity; if you mess up, you can try again with a different screen name or something.
>>134 Yeah but the biggest problem is when I'm talking on the phone with someone I talk on the internet with a lot. So if I know all of her favorites etc. the amount of topics to discuss is a lot less.
You know when you're thinking of something to say and start typing away on AIM or whatnot? Just do that, except say it out loud instead of typing it into a keyboard. That's basically what I do on the phone, anyway.
I've actually been told I'm the same in real life as I am online by my friends. Aquaintances haven't seen that side of me since I act like that nice, quiet, polite girl in the corner when I'm not around friends.XD