>>103
it turns out, that he was feeling sorry for some desperate loser like me, and pretended to be a girl that liked me to get my hopes up or some idealistic shit like that. but he didnt actually think i was seriously falling in love with her, enough to fall into depressions because of 'her'.
in retrospect, i was very glad that he finally told me the truth.
i imagined he trusted me enough that i didnt go ballistic over the matter when we finally met and beat the shit out of him or something.

but when i first met him and found out, i talked to him like it didnt bother me and that i kinda knew that it wasnt real to begin with. but in my head the entire time, my brains felt like they were frying and melting, thinking: "THIS IS A FUCKING JOKE RIGHT, ONE OF THOSE JOKES WHERE THE REAL GIRL HIDES SOMEWHERE AND ASKES HER MALE FRIEND TO PULL A PRANK ON ME, RIGHT!?!?"
"THIS IS NOT HAPPENING, GODDAMN SHIT FUCK, WHAT THE FUCK, IS THIS SOME SHITTY DREAM!?!?"
i felt like puking as i left the meet afterwards.
i kept handing out money on hobos i met on the way back home too, to try to get my mind off of the whole ordeal. I dropped all my coin change in one bum's cup, it was so heavy that he nearly dropped his cup.
i gave another trash digger a 5 dollar bill. and he was like "HOLY SHIT!"
went to sleep that night in fetal position hoping i'd wake up to the real world.

all in all, i think i came out of that experience with a lot more than had i not.
I'm a lot more mature, open minded, and confident now.
and i hope my (tragic) story gave some of you some insights or laughs. i know i certainly look back at it and laugh at the desperate mistakes of my own youth.