Uncomfortable Silences (44)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2005-12-21 15:09 ID:FBsCKhA9

I hate them!!! It gets harder to break them the longer it drags.

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2005-12-21 16:43 ID:Heaven

breaking the silence before it gets any more uncomfortable

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2005-12-22 08:54 ID:WB/1hEl2

So, uhhh....

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2005-12-22 09:34 ID:xfL8uoHb

yeah...

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2005-12-22 13:27 ID:Heaven

It´s... eh....

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2005-12-22 14:11 ID:ZufDiKp6

Hmmmmmm....

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2005-12-23 00:07 ID:Heaven

I heard it was going to rain today -- what do you think?

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2005-12-23 00:51 ID:Heaven

Muri.

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2005-12-23 01:56 ID:Heaven

>>1 : You sure proved your point, mate.

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2005-12-23 03:57 ID:syP9c9f9

>>1
Kill her. Problem solved. j/k

11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2005-12-24 01:22 ID:Heaven

...

12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2005-12-24 22:02 ID:jtoH5SqB

Comfortable silences rock, though. That moment when you're with somebody and just enjoying their company ... ._.

13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2005-12-25 22:49 ID:y1UFtLU9

>>12
True, it's heaven. I love moments like that. A comfortable silence is an indicator of a good relationship, whether it be friendship of otherwise.

14 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-01-02 09:10 ID:UGgdIN6v

eeeeeee, ive been in a buncha situations like that, it like, hurts, physically. but, ive only had one comfortable silence mabye, it was nice =)

15 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-01-02 09:11 ID:UGgdIN6v

hmmmm, mabye say something out of context? like say all of a sudden yelling

BANANNA HAMMOCK!

scrubs comes on tuesday btw ftw =)

16 Name: SynthL0rd : 2006-01-03 06:54 ID:b7RfRdf8

DETAILS REQUESTED!.

I think the first poster is refering to those awkward silences where you just can't think of anything to say to that person whom you really like, this usually happens if they two of you have nothing in common and just end up saying a couple jokes then going back to silent until the next humourous even occurs. These are a killer, in some cases it's best to move on.

17 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-01-03 08:11 ID:CiTAIqTp

Man..I hate uncomfortable silences. When I hear that phrase, I think of silences where I want to say something to the person I like but can't because I'm too afraid to or can't come up with anything that would start a lengthy conversation(basically what SynthL0rd said).
I've experienced alot of them so I know exactly what poster #1 says (assuming he/she is talking about what I think he/she is talking about)

So I agree with poster #1. Uncomfortable silences do suck. Big time. Are there any solutions to uncomfortable silences?

BTW, this is my first time posting on this board and first time visiting this boad as well.

18 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-01-03 09:00 ID:HF8QBNS1

i agree with #17, is there anything to say at all? i mean, if you like that person, and you get some alone time with that person, why waste it with that uncomfortable silence? isnt there something you can do or say to remedy the situation for it goes kaput? especially if, you dont have much in common, what do you do? ive had experience, which, totally ruined things with a girl i liked, we walked around for a bit, in silence, it was, painful

19 Name: SynthL0rd : 2006-01-03 09:20 ID:b7RfRdf8

I did the same thing #18 and yeah, walking in silence does not make any progress whatsoever, neither does having that # and never dialing it.

20 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-01-05 14:16 ID:Ui1FMyqM

Yeah, I get what you guys mean, and while you're in silence, the girl is probably striking you off her list. "This guy is boring.." was probably what she was thinkin...argh.

21 Name: Kairi : 2006-01-19 22:39 ID:qJnM8y/Q

Try asking about what she wants to do during the weekend, or perhaps something in context with the place you're in together?

Holy crap guys! I'm a shy gal, so men who has a lil initiative is a freaking wonder.
Seriously, conversation isn't as hard as you think. How old are most of you btw? Out of curiosity.

22 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-01-19 22:59 ID:3DFgdBuP

>>21
most 4-chers are probably 17-30

24 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-01-20 03:13 ID:0WSb5yB2

depending on the timing, the uncomfortable silence is the perfect time for a well placed kiss, especially first kiss.

25 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-01-20 17:30 ID:MeByc/o6

So tell me about your family. Is that a younger sister or older sister? What does she do? Did you get along while growing up? I have X brothers and/or sisters. I always felt left out/we were best friends growing up. Did you grow up here, or did you move here? When did you move here? Why? Are your parents still working? What did/do they do? Oh, I have an aunt who does X too. Does he like his job? How long has he been working there?

Do you have a pet? No, but I had a cat when I was growing up. Her name was Susan. A Persian. Do you like snakes? Me neither. I had a cousin who had a pet piglet...

Do you like sports? Do you play on any teams? What about when you were growing up/in high school/in college? Oh, I used to play that too. What position did you play? Were you any good? Why did you stop? Have you ever played X? It's lots of fun.

So do you follow the news? What newspapers/magazines do you read? Do you watch news on TV? Did you hear that X happened over in Y? No, I can't believe it either.

Do you go on vacations often? Tell me about the best vacation you went on. Sounds like fun. How did you get there? Did it take a long time? Have you ever been to X? Me neither, but I've always wanted to go. My sister went to X last year and she had a lot of fun. What other countries have you visited? Yeah, I've been there too.

Do you have a car? Do you want a different car? What kind? What don't you like about the car you have? Does it get good mileage? Have you ever been in a wreck?No, just a couple of fender-benders. Have you ever got a ticket? No? Never? Incredible! My best friend lets me borrow her X sometimes and it's really awesome. Ever been on a motorcycle?

Do you like to cook? Me too, but I'm not very good. What do you think is the best thing you can make? Mmm, that does sound good. You'll have to let me try it sometime. Have you ever tried cooking X? My mother makes the world's best X; it's all meaty and cheesy...

(etc etc etc)

26 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-01-20 17:57 ID:0WSb5yB2

Don't try to force a conversation, it will show that you are nervous and girls dont't like nervous. If the silence comes, dont panic and start talking about random shit, stay cool and keep eye contact and try to look comfortable. Let the silence happen for a bit and then resume the conversation.

27 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-01-20 17:59 ID:iqybvxvr

Anyone seen Pulp Fiction? See it.

28 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-01-20 19:05 ID:0WSb5yB2

>>27
...well it could help after you get past the violence and drug use.

29 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-01-21 12:03 ID:MeByc/o6

>>26: You say "resume the conversation" like it's always that easy. Sometimes both sides will just have nothing more to say, and the subject must be changed so that a new thread of continual, natural conversation can be started. I agree that the hints I gave in >>25 might feel a bit forced, but they're not a script; just kick-starts for what will hopefully become a new, continued conversation.

Don't underestimate the power of asking your interest questions, no matter how mundane they may seem. Aside from showing that you're interested in them, and similarly allowing them the luxury of talking about themselves, it puts the ball of continuing the conversation in their court. Often, when a conversation dies, it's because both sides think it's the other's turn to say something. But if you ask a question (or if they ask a question of you), it's clear whose turn it is to talk afterwards.

30 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-01-27 17:44 ID:YCqLpu2P

>>1 There is value in silence. maybe it's not a bad thing.

31 Name: billy_uno : 2006-01-28 10:57 ID:Heaven

I agree

Silences don't have to be uncomfortable. I've heard it said that if you can be comfortable with someone in silence you can be comfortable with them in life.

32 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-01-29 09:04 ID:8iHa19Al

>>31
I guess that's ultimately what caused my marriage to fail. The silences were comfortable for me but not for her, and as a result, neither of us could really get what we wanted most of the time. I could blame it on the guy she met on the Internet that she's probably going to run away with, but the reality is that the silences are probably to blame for the whole thing.

33 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-01-29 21:07 ID:YCqLpu2P

I'd say it's the guy >_<

34 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-01-30 02:27 ID:JeSnXUNx

So much can be said in silence, with body language and just being connected to that person. When you talk to someone is what is being said really all that important? It is good to listen, but talk is cheap.

Uncomfortable silence is only being nervous, if you are not nervous it is no longer uncomfortable.

35 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-01-30 02:53 ID:YCqLpu2P

remember, being nervous is a good sign you like the person and if there is silence maybe that means the other person is nervous too! nothing wrong with being nervous as long as you give it your all to overcome it and don't let it block you from your opportunities!

36 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-01-30 04:01 ID:1OfAuNSL

>>32 maybe it's not too late to talk with her?

37 Name: 32 : 2006-01-30 23:16 ID:Heaven

>>36 Believe me, I've tried.

38 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-09-27 13:39 ID:7AaUcPo3

Hmmm

39 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-09-28 01:07 ID:Heaven

All I ever wanted, all I ever needed, is here in my arms.
Words are very unnecessary, they can only do harm.

40 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-09-28 13:44 ID:Oma2NypF

Kiss her!!
Perfect timing!
... if the thread wasn't about car crashes or your sis' pregnancy

41 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-06 22:42 ID:vHv6qdCK

If you just start a random conversation in an uncomfortable silence, it will end really soon, and then there will be another uncomfortable silence.

42 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-07 01:06 ID:8dqFz16g

...so... how about that local sports team...?

43 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-07 07:51 ID:JWQLKz4s

>>39
Gay.

44 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-08 08:40 ID:Heaven

>>43
Sorry, couldn't resist the 'mode when it's so topical.

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