Can't get hard! (33)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-01-02 17:36 ID:qhi2rwi+

I'm seriously starting to worry here.. me and my girlfriend have reached the point where we want to have sex. But I just can't get a hard-on when she's lying there! Any suggestions? This is really getting to me..

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-01-02 17:47 ID:m5Hke8A4

You masturbate too harshly. Get used to a softer grip.

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-01-02 18:18 ID:moLnQYh7

It's all in your head, maybe try to think of kinky thoughts or something?

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-01-02 19:37 ID:qhi2rwi+

>>3
I think you may be right. I'm thinking I have to get a hard-on and also that I can't let her down.. especially not since I'm the one who initiates it. Just for the record, I'm a virgin, so it might also just be because I'm nervous.. just pains me to hear some of my friends not getting my problem.. at all. One of my friends went through the same thing though, but it just feels terrible still.. sigh..

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-01-02 19:52 ID:Heaven

It's good that you're concerned for her pleasure. You need to relax more. The next time you start thinking you're letting her down, try to think instead of all the perverted things you want to do to her. Let your imagination run wild. And FFS, don't forget the condom.

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-01-02 22:31 ID:PBv1SfpY

>>5
Aye, sex is more than just penis in vagina. A lot of touching, massage, kissing everywhere, oral sex, etc. would probably help you relax. Some say that their first time was awkward and not that special, but if you do a lot of the other things, it'd probably more than make up for any shortcomings (haha!)

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-01-03 00:02 ID:bpDqNMOG

i have a solution, S&M

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-01-03 07:34 ID:Heaven

Have you considered trying foreplay
If you can't get hard even from that, most likely you're either gay or impotent

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-01-03 16:08 ID:Heaven

Maybe you want to try anal stimulation of the prostate beforehand. It might just work.
I feel sorry for you XD

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-01-09 11:17 ID:Heaven

it happens to a lot of men, seriously. Its nerves.

11 Name: B bro : 2006-01-24 06:18 ID:FJfPRrTB

i guess it is a big problem if u cant get a hard on, though i never been in that situation myself. cant really help much but doesnt she turn u on? even when she's nekkid? ur probably too nervous and thinking too much..relax and let the passion take over...

12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-01-24 09:54 ID:Heaven

try chucking an email to that guy selling CAI1IS and VllAGRA and stuff that's always emailing me...

13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-01-24 15:53 ID:+Jbs0FmR

come on people, give him some serious advices. In my opinion, firstly try the foreplay. Stop thinking that you have to be so great. First time is always a big LOL, misunderstanding and finish with a promise of getting better next time. So it's not about life and dead (if you use condoms), so don't be so fucking serious about it. If you can't get hard on just looking at her try to imagine some fetish... maybe that you are doing it in some weird place like in a park or something. If it's still not working, maybe some S&M fantasies. Not working? Try to imagine your best male friend, or maybe your dad, or mom, or grandma'... I think I said too much.
So... making the long thing short >.>... <I shouldn't say that>

DON'T BE SO SERIOUS ABOUT IT!!! THERE IS ALWAYS A 2nd CHANCE.
Maybe it won't be so bloody, but still ok ;).

14 Name: B bro : 2006-01-25 03:18 ID:CQHyrHPf

>>13

thinking about your best male friend? dad? mom?? granma????

nice advice...

15 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-01-25 10:25 ID:6ysXYx4T

He have to find something that will turn him on...

16 Name: B bro : 2006-01-25 15:07 ID:befBKvHw

so exactly what turns you on ? if you have something that does, than just hold on to that thought while doing it..

its a start i guess

17 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-01-29 07:23 ID:sLQWlQuF

It sounds like nerves to me. Just relax, make light of the situation...it is always better if it is playful and it makes the girl feel less self-conscious and relaxed.

18 Name: Tac-Tics : 2006-01-29 08:00 ID:3QsYb3Ip

It will be better for her if you fail at harding it on. Erections can make us guys greedy during sex =-P

Just put out as well as you can without your joystick and she might not even notice you didn't spill your junk on her at the end of the night X-D

19 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-01-29 08:53 ID:X7M940dj

>>18
You might be onto something though... if he puts out with his tongue and fingers, he might actually get so into it that he gets hard. If he really can't get it up while she's in the throes of orgasm, I'd say the problem is at least bad enough to be worth seeing a doctor.

20 Name: Tac-Tics : 2006-01-29 19:42 ID:3QsYb3Ip

Another thing to consider:

I know personally, I can get it up pretty quick, but I lose it equally quickly after a few minutes. You can't expect to keep it up just on physical stimulation alone. You need that mental scenario to make it real.

Try role playing. It will make you less self-conscious and get you into the mood on a higher level than mere touching can.

21 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-01-30 00:07 ID:Heaven

I used to get hard all the time. Then, when my girlfriend dumped me, two years ago, I started getting really nervous and got failed erections all the time. This led to me doubting myself even more and... Nowadays I´m not even interested in sex. I´d really like to start having a good sexlife, again. I just can´t get into the mood. It just feels so meaningless.

I have no advice for you, >>1. I´m of no help. I´m sorry.

22 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-02-10 17:43 ID:ljJfcrH2

>>1

You're gay.

23 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-02-12 07:15 ID:Lh7sjUV3

It's all mental, but physical excercise prior to sex boosts testosterone so try going for a jog or lifting weights, avoid heavy meals, and make sure you are in a good mood. A little alcohol (not too much) will also help a bit.

I've had a similar problem a couple times, and its really a mental issue, but can be overcome with positive thinking and some physical activities.

24 Name: random guy : 2006-11-01 23:39 ID:CSUlLUEQ

zxc

25 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-11-02 15:23 ID:UKpwDLfM

>>21

Me too, it's just that my failed erections started was when I started to have a girlfriend.

26 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-11-02 23:47 ID:rdZk5eLp

Heavy metals? I guess drinking mercury was not very safe.
On a serious note, try approaching the problem as a couple, together.
Read WTF is wrong with my dick? http://4-ch.net/love/kareha.pl/1156103719

27 Name: Down and Out : 2006-11-03 14:48 ID:kd2x2tYR

OP, don't go immediately into having sex. Kiss your gf first, and I mean kissing as in 'sucking face'. That kind of sets the mood (I know coz I had a gf and that's what I did) plus your girl would probably love it more than just the quick slam bam. Kissing not only arouse your gf but it can also arouse yourself if done right. Then proceed to other kind of foreplay such as use your hands instead of your longjohn, my ex loved that plus the fact she's squirming around when you do that might arouse you.
And change your mentality, the more you think about getting a hard-on, the more you won't coz your energy is going to your mind, not where it should be going.
And even if you still can't get a hard-on, dont worry about it. It's not all about sex anyways, if you can't get any then at least pleasure your gf properly, and the girl would most likely like you more for it since you ain't just thinking about yourself.

28 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-04-01 17:42 ID:BycIwsCz

i had the same problem my current gf is 3 years older than me first time i couldnt get it up, all i did was stopped drinking energy drinks and bingo i had a hardon, what i mean by what ive said is caffeine makes your nerves worse so dont touch it.

29 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-04-02 04:54 ID:F/HifB36

You masturbated and watched porn too much and now it's too late. Seriously all that shit, makes you feel less natural about the real thing. I bet you are a fucking ace imagening sex while spanking your monkey but when it comes down to show it's so entirely different from what you've made yourself used to, it makes you too awkward to function properly.

Most likely it will eventually wear of enough for you to get it up and perform to minimum expectations, i.e. at least making you and your girlfriend orgasm. But it will never be as good as it could have been. Once shit gets inside your head, it never fully dissappears.

.....Enjoy your sexlife. ^^

30 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-04-02 05:10 ID:kxVRENO5

>>29

Look kids, a troll! A poorly informed one at that!

31 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-04-02 05:12 ID:woTgB09B

>>29

lol, I spent so much time practicing baseball in a cornfield...now I'm in the Big Leagues and I can't do it.

32 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-04-02 09:51 ID:Heaven

>>31

maybe if you imagine all the people in the audience are dressed up as corm

33 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-04-03 05:23 ID:Heaven

>>32

But I'm a loli! Loli haet corm!

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