BF needs advice w/ GF (28)

1 Name: Pete : 2006-01-04 02:14 ID:y21U+T2+

Hi guys, I really need some advice here. My girlfriend and I have been together for little over 2 months now and we've been progressing steadily ever since. Now when I first met her, she made it loud and clear that she vowed to never have sex b4 marriage and me being a good boyfriend, completely understood and agreed to this (even tho I did not follow the same rules). So again, we were doing very well, only having one very small argument over me being too nice to her sometimes. ^^;

Well, yesterday she picked me up for lunch and the nwe decided to make out before she had to go to work. We did and it went so far that we decided to have intercourse. Of course, I made sure that it was what she wanted and it wasn't full-on intercourse, I mean that did not cum since she said not to (Just to be safe I made sure to use a condom w/spermicide). We both loved it and she went to work with one of the biggest grins I have ever seen on her. Now today, when I came to see her, she asked me if I thought she was a whore for breaking her promise to herself. I feel like such a looser because of this. I know it could be MUCH WORSE but I still feel like a loser. Now what do I do or say? I mean, we were both willing and I made sure to follow her instructions not to cum but I still feel partialy responsible...

BTW, this was my first time as well as hers.

2 Name: BENOIST : 2006-01-04 02:20 ID:FEpHpFeU

lol. You actually listened to what she said and didn't cum? You could easily have blamed it on premature ejaculation.

3 Name: Pete : 2006-01-04 02:31 ID:y21U+T2+

Yea, I know but I'm trying to gain her trust and not be afraid of being close. I think that's what part of her problem is.

4 Name: SynthL0rd : 2006-01-04 02:39 ID:fc8zyGNG

So wait...YOU feel like a loser for her breaking her own promise?
Please..You're both human beings that have urges, don't beat yourself up, you're both guilty but it felt good didn't it?, that's her fault she broke the promise in my opinion.

5 Name: Pete : 2006-01-04 02:45 ID:y21U+T2+

Sigh... thank you SynthLord.

I do believe you have given me the slap to the face that I truly needed. Now, when I see her next time, I'll know what to say.

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-01-04 03:54 ID:Heaven

Well don't say something that will make her feel like it's her fault. You guys both made the decision, you shouldn't regret it, but it's up to how comfortable you both feel on how to proceed in your relationship.

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-01-04 21:51 ID:6PAXj4LI

>>1

If she easily breaks her own vows to herself like that and likes to be degraded, then she is a whore.

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-01-05 01:31 ID:Heaven

>>5
Don't forget to tell us what you end up saying, and what she says.

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-01-05 04:35 ID:l+0qC8L7

>>7
That's not true. You don't know why she made those vows. Perhaps she was sick of being used by shitty men, and this dude turned out to be awesome.

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-01-05 11:06 ID:FHseolDZ

A lot of people vow to keep themselves before marriage for whatever reasons, religious or personal. I once wanted to save myself until marriage, but gave up shortly after high school because it just wasn't practical.

Have a talk with her about her feelings about it. Ask why she was keeping her virginity. Changing your mind is not a bad thing, as long as the reasons are right. It doesn't make sense to hold to a committment if you don't believe in it anymore.

11 Name: Pete : 2006-01-05 12:23 ID:y21U+T2+

Before I get into what happened last night, let me respond to some of the things that have been said.

>>7
She's not some emo kid who gets depressed at the drop of the hat, she's quite the opposite.

>>9
You know, you're really starting to tick me off. Quit talking like that about people you don't know and before it gets to late, GTFO.

>>10
Thank you for such kind words. I won't get into the details but she made those vows for deeply religious reasons. I also made a similar promise to myself back in high school but before I even left I knew that I would give it up before marriage. It's just simpily a natural course of life.

So, after watching Wedding Crashers and chowing down on some snacks we decided to make out but before that I told her that we needed to talk. I sat her down and naturally she was concerned right off the bat. I explained to her how I felt about what she had said the night beofre and how it made me concerned for the both of us. I told to her how I felt about what she said and that it might become some sort of roadblock for us in the near future. I told her just how much respect I had for her for keeping her promise for so many years and she thanked me for that. I then went into how this is a natural step for lovers and that we both agreed to take this step together as a couple.

After several minutes she thanked me and told me how most other men would not have brought such a subject up in conversation. She agreed that it was natural to have urges and take the next step. She told me that she now felt differently about herself and that she now has more respect for herself becuase she kept her promise for so long. Shortly after that, we began to kiss and together we had a much, much(!) more passionate night than the previous one. We were at it until 1 am, both becoming exhillerated into the throes of passion and we both came multiple times. Her even more so, to the point where our neighbors started to bang on the walls. ^_^

I wish to thank (almost) all of you who offered your advice and wish you all the best of luck in your relationships as well.

Sincerely,
"Pete"

12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-01-05 16:44 ID:Heaven

> most other men would not have brought such a subject up in conversation

She's right, you're a fag ゜∀゜

13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-01-05 23:42 ID:y21U+T2+

Don't mind him, he just says that becuase he's a 40yr old virgin. =P

14 Name: SynthL0rd : 2006-01-06 00:47 ID:fc8zyGNG

Nice work Pete, I'm glad she was so understanding and you had a better night... KITAAAAA!

15 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-01-06 01:36 ID:y21U+T2+

Thanks and you know, I yelled out the same exact thing driving back home from droping her off.

"KIIIIIITAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" The driver next to me probably thought I was on speed or something but I don't care. ^_^;

16 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-01-06 04:37 ID:YLUxuHja

Wow, an actual success story. Good job there!

17 Name: SR47 : 2006-01-06 07:44 ID:FSSw5F5e

キタ!!! 乀(゚ ∀゚)ノ

>>11

"Her even more so, to the point where our neighbors started to bang on the walls."

Well, at least you know that your instincts are good.

On a more serious note, and contrary to what >>12 said, it marks you as a man (as opposed to a pathetic show-off). It takes serious nerve to sit her down like that, and I mean it. That's scary shit right there, scary enough to make most guys make excuses like "That's something only fags do."

>>15

"Thanks and you know, I yelled out the same exact thing driving back home from droping her off.

"KIIIIIITAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" The driver next to me probably thought I was on speed or something but I don't care. ^_^;"

Love isn't supposed to be understood anyway, only felt.

乙. You did well.

18 Name: 10 : 2006-01-06 10:18 ID:FHseolDZ

Yay! Good job! Nice to hear things going right pete lol.

19 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-01-08 00:58 ID:Heaven

>>11

If she came multiple times the second time she had sex.

  1. you're lying
  2. you're lying to yourself
  3. she's lying
  4. she's lying to herself

Pick an option

20 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-01-08 01:11 ID:ytbP+KGj

Glad to hear that things are turning out well for the both of you :)

21 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-01-08 04:04 ID:Heaven

So, uh, promises really don't mean anything after all, waking up your neighbors in the middle of the night is fine, and this is your happy ending? Congratulations.

If some idiot woke me up at 1 am, I don't care what kind of glorious love story goes with it, there would not be a happy fucking ending.

22 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-01-08 06:31 ID:/SpSxBBd

>>11
I think >>9 was complimenting you~

>and this dude turned out to be awesome.

23 Name: SR47 : 2006-01-08 20:57 ID:FSSw5F5e

>>19

5. She's very sensitive.
6. None of our buisness.

Does it really matter? The fact that you're challenging this marks you as just a touch jealous. (is amused)

They were intimate. They're happy. Unless he wants to publicize the matter, we don't need to know anything else.

>>21

Bah, stop being such a spoilsport. :p

Promises do have meaning. The fact that she broke a promise for the sake of their relationship is meaningful. While it didn't depend on the promise-breaking, it certainly did bring it to the next level. And she did it willingly.

Waking up the neighbors? 'kay, I'll agree with that one. Pete, keep it down in there. Or go to a park (when it gets warmer).

24 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-01-09 00:22 ID:Nsvv29yw

Ahahaha,
Neighbour Child: Mommy... are the people next door fighting?
Neighbour Mom: No, not exactly, dear. You see, when a mother and father love each other very much (ry

25 Name: SR47 : 2006-01-09 05:35 ID:Heaven

>>24

I just snarfed (damn you!) :p

26 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-01-09 08:40 ID:Heaven

>>I just snarfed

Mommy... is SR47 fighting?
No, not exactly, dear. You see, when an internet user loves himself very much...

27 Name: SR47 : 2006-01-09 23:18 ID:Heaven

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snarf

Second definition from the top. Get your mind out of the gutter. :p

28 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-03-13 21:17 ID:AL/LI24P

>>19
I'm a girl and I came multiple times I had sex the second time.
The first time might count too, depending if you think orgasm via oral immediately followed by intercourse counts.

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