Alright, I don't know about anybody else here, but I've never had a girlfriend. At least, not in real life. I've had one real girlfriend online, and we've had our problems and our.. not-problems. Anyway, we're not together anymore but we talk almost every day still, between friends and more-than-friends. I feel that I'll never have a real-life girlfriend, and that nobody will ever admire me in the way that I admire them. Am I just unlikeable? Is it because I'm 40 lbs overweight? I can't help it-- I eat 600 calories or more UNDER the recommended amount for my height and weight and I still manage to stay at 200. I'm more of a quiet person, I haven't asked many people out. People say that I need to concentrate on my schoolwork before a girlfriend and/or a job; my response is: I have concentrated on school for 15 damn years, I think I deserve a distraction. I have straight A's and I have nothing to faze that. I sometimes find myself flirting with a girl in German class, only to be kicked in the shin twice because she's aggressive and I said a minor sexual slur. MINOR, mind you.
Am I stupid? Am I unlikeable? Am I just too plain smart? I know I'm a nerd, but COME ON. I don't want a girlfriend from sympathy- I want a girl who honestly cares about how I feel, how my day was. It doesn't have to be a really intimate relationship- sex can honestly wait. Hugging is enough, kissing is great. Seeing as I've never had a hug from a single girl outside of my family [cousin] and I've never had a kiss, I feel somewhat cheated out of a relationship.
Am I to be forever single? I guess only time will tell... And advice would be appreciated. Thanks. x-x;
agrees with sakurina
stop making excuses and try to deal with the situation.work on getting a girl.
if densha could do it. so can you!
Uh, right. Densha. Sure.
>>11, Let me tell you a story. Every girl that I've ever gone out with that has been attractive, has screwed with m one way or another. Pretty girls will do that. The more attractive they are, by and large, the worse off you'll be, 95 times out of 100. They're not worth your time.
Forget what TV and Movies will tell you. Forget what happened to Densha Otoko. (Sorry guys, I loved it too, but let's be realistic.) If you WANT to find a girlfriend who cares about you, find one who is LIKE you. Equal to you, merit for merit, flaw for flaw. The merits and flaws don't have to be the same thing, but keep in mind, you are a FLAWED PERSON. We all are. If you remember that, and you're willing to accept a person who is flawed you'll do better. Hey, any girl, pretty or not, is flawed in some way. If she's pretty, then she'll have some kind of personality flaw. Maybe she's a total bitch. Maybe she's dumb as a box of rocks. But she has a chink in her armor somewhere, so you shouldn't be afraid. You shouldn't exploit it either, but she's just as worried about what you'll think about her flaw, as you are. She just hides it better, or she doesn't think you know.
Keep that in mind, and you'll have a lot more confidence when you're talking to a girl. But for goodness sake, try to find one who's just as flawed, if not more flawed than you are. She's less likely to leave you that way. And if you treat her right, and care about her despite those flaws, then she'll care about you.
you sure sound experienced billy_uno, and your points are very true. expecially on the Densha Otoko issue.
thx for sharing it with us
What's with all the stupid names in this thread? Let's go back to being anonymous, people!
if you want someone to care for you, START CARING FOR OTHERS FIRST. Don't just wish, go out and do it.
Learn to talk too. And learn most importantly to listen to them:
I agree with peip. and I do prefer "anonymous" to these names
Do not wallow in self-pity, it is ugly. If you keep it up, nothing is going to change. Being miserable and doing nothing, only brings more nothing. If you want a girlfriend, do something about it. Make an effort to find someone, even if it is only little things like smiling a little more or making eye contact when speaking with women. These little things can sometimes have a big impact on how people see you.
Hey >>1
Don't worry; when you get to be 30-40, love is destined. All those pretty girls who would never give you the time of day will come crawling back when they need a successful man to provide for them. Just try to find one that isn't such a whore, k?
Highschool is all about a popularity contest for girls, mainly. You gotta me popular in some way for them to consider you, usually. Fickle creatures ;)
That being said, I do know some nice girls in highschool. Look for the ones that aren't obsessed with being in the popular clique and will express their oppinion as well as those that aren't afraid to try new things. They'll be the ones you seek, >>1
Also, I wish Sakurina wouldn't be a "tripfag"~ I can't dispel the pre-rendered interpretations (or whatever you'll call them) about him. Namely [1] that he's a girl and [2] that he's only 14 or something. People are ~judging you~! I cannot take you seriously.
Funny, most of the very attractive people I hang with are constantly used, and somewhat paranoid or oblivious because of it. Either they've noticed how many people just hang out with them because they want to get in their pants, and trust noone, or they take that behavior for the norm.
Oh noes, you got kicked in the shins. Move on.
You might be lucky, and run across someone who has a fetish for pulling guys out of their shell, but barring that, you're going to have to draw attention to yourself. Fix yourself up, look more girls in the eye. Say hi every once in a while, before mentioning potential sexcapades. Figure out whether or not the girl is someone with whom you should bluntly bring up sexual activities with.
You claim you want a serious relationship. If your really are seeking a serious relationship, you should already be doing all of these things.
I find this thread kinda sad because >>1 could fix himself up. However, I've been trying to fix myself up (pretty good job so far too), the biggest obstacle has been acne. orz. I'd be considered quite handsome without it. I've tried everything! Damned teenage years. At least I can always hope for a solution, and be thankful that it isn't as bad as other people. Some people have it crazy bad!
So >>1, go weight-lift, do some kind of weight loss program, and be more receptive to new ideas! No one is perfect, we all have our flaws, but fix the ones you can if you really care about it. If you fix the ones you can, then the flaws you can't fix may seem a little less bad!
Seriously, what have you tried, because there are some over the counter things which I've found effective. I was mostly too lazy to stick with them.
>>33
my mother ended up sending me to the doctor for my acne, cause she didnt want me to end up looking like my father (lol).
he prescribed me some stuff called roaccutane (sp?)... strongest medicine ive ever been on lol, but it sure fixed my problem ;)
Proactive Solution being the most recent, pretty expensive for stuff that doesn't last too long, but really no effect >.<
A bunch of other things, doctor prescribed things that had little effect...
I always wondered if I was screwing something up or something like that.. Like too stupid to apply medication correctly? sigh, lol
So I guess I'm going to a dermatologist soon... if this doesn't fix things up, I must be cursed ;;
In any case, this has been a thread derailment
Go run your fat, sorry ass around the block a couple of times, get over yourself, and quit whining about being single. Pissing and moaning will not get you a girlfriend. Why don't you join the marines or the peace corps or something...that will totally get you laid.
>>38
win-win
hi i'm new to this thread, I'm 16 years old = years being single. I currently have a japnese friend (girl) who i talk to using SKYPE. we have talked for 6 hours once which was the first time for me to talk to a girl that long ~"~ I have sent her a christmas gift and she liked it alot.... the problem is here ~"~ I start to like this girl now and the problem is i live in australia and i'm so far awaay ~"~ i am thinking of confessing to her next time we talked but i havn't heard from her for 3 weeks now >"< can someone please give me some advise?? I'm afraid i will get rejected if i say it >"<
>>40
Long distance relationships are hard, esp if you have never even seen each other.
How long have you been in touch with her?
Have you talked to each other often?
The 3 weeks is kind of troubling though.
once you do confess to her whats gonna happen next. When do u plan to meet her?
Confessing is somthing done in real life not on the phone, perhaps you should consider going to Japan, if u realy like her that much.
Well..just be careful.. Hopefully, the situation wont turn out like what happeend to the other guy who went to Japan for a week to visit a girl he liked and got turned down.
~"~ what is all this stuff >>40?
thanks for the advise! i had a think about it again and thought maybe its better just to remain good friends otherwise if i get rejected maybe we wont even be friends. well we use to talk alot and seem to be intrested in the same things, i was thinking of visiting her in japan during the holidays but that seems to be impossible. its really weird cos she usualy replies my email in 2-3 days and latley i just keep waiting for 2- 3 weeks now...oh well i think i will just remain friends haha xD
maybe she has been busy lately, or have u increased the frequency of the emails? But i think you staying friends with her is a good decision, instead of just confessing.
i think she has been busy because i only sent 1 email. yeah i though that was a better idea as well