Benson, unfortunately I can relate very well how much of a problem it is to be a dreamer. I too, I am trapped in a fog of silly lazy dreams which hold me from making real accomplishments in my life. By reading manga, watching anime, listening to music - the like, I waste most of my day. The worst part is that I realize my problem everyday, am guilty of perpetrating it every new day.

Its really hard to break out of the cocoon of the dreamer. Its walls are thick and fluffy, cozy and warm. To break out of it, I need real a goal stronger than a dream. But what star can perpetrate these walls? And once I escape, its so tempting to return. I wish I could have the inner guidance to steer towards an honourable goal.

There are certain girls which I like, but I know they won't choose to be around me since I hardly accomplish anything of meaning. There is only one way to alter this situation, which is to do real work and not to let myself get dragged down in the quicksand of lamenes. But is it sufficient? I don't know. In a world where any goal can be disputed for its worth, what goal can be pursued without faltering? I must find a solution soon, for can no longer be a child, have to take up responsibility for my own life.

I can conceive of girls liking me for what I am. The girls I like are not among them and I feel I have nothing to say to them, nothing that won't make me look like a loser to them. So I don't. I sense there is no point to approach the girls I like because I am not the guy I want to be. That person should be with them, not me.

Anyway Benson, we've got to live in reality, whatever that is, as much as we can. However great our dreams are, it involves only one person, us. And loneliness just isn't fun.

ps. I owe you an apology, because in post nr 1 you did actually introduce Aya.