I've been waiting.... (791)

191 Name: benson_2009 : 2006-08-17 14:18 ID:Ys5uUH/j

>>189 i think your suggestion is best, if i do confess next time we talk i would 100% know if shes being serious or just playing around. i shutted my self from my social life for a while latley, only cos of work. its true thats shes out of my reach, i mean we live so far away so there really is not a slight chance. but what if, next time i do confess and it turns out that she liked me as well, what do i do next?? i mean will she be my first gf or are we still just friends??

its weird to say this but, its kinda lonley sometimes... when theres no one to talk to. even in my family, my parents travel often so not at home much and my older brother goes out frequently and we dont really talk much. my daily life is either on the computer, playing games, watching anime or movies and school work. i mean most girls who know me prob think i'm this big looser, i tried to change once but it just didn't work out cos i dont feel like my self, its like i'm hiding my real personality. to be honest i use to be on msn 24/7 talking to people but now i hardly go online or talk to people.

i could already tell that me and Aya prob wont really work since she keeps disappearing...i really wish we lived in the same area, if we did that might have worked.
>>187 she did bring new stregth into my life, if i didn't meet her last year i would have stopped filming, prob gave up since these group of people were picking on me. she actuali gave me courage to stand up agaisnt those people and to keep filming, like i said i never met anyone like her, and like i said in my previous post, i was really happy when i talked to her and last year all i saw was just darkness. you know its funny, i said that i didn't want a gf and here i am hoping to get one. i actuali been rejected 6 times already......thats why i'm stil single and in this thread lol. anyway i think Aya is going back to japan near the end of this month, possible that i could talk to her and finaly confess, see what her answer is.... if yes, i would be extremly happy and see if we could work something out. if no, i would move on knowing that i got rejected again and having the first time to confess on the phone (i use to do it on msn cos too nervous to say it, i guess thats why i got rejected lol). you guys think thats a better idea??

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