So, what, you're only not gay if other people think you're not gay? There's a difference between others' opinions of you based on stuff you've actually done and said and opinions of you based on stuff that they've thought up and "reasoned" out in their heads.

If someone says, "You're an asshole", and you've been acting like an asshole, well, stop.
If someone says, "You're an asshole", and you've not done anything obviously wrong, it could be that they're the ones with the problem.

If someone says, "You're gay", and you don't want to be gay, and you've been kissing guys and going, "Yeah, I'd like to jump in bed with him", well, stop.
If someone says, "You're gay", and you've not done anything openly gay, and you've said, "I'm not gay" to this person but they don't seem to get it, it's their problem, not yours.

What you have to remember (and this is part of that self-confidence issue) is that other people are often just as screwed up as you are, and while it's nice to try regulate yourself, using others as your basis for regulation also has its problems ("You can please some of the people some of the time..."). Sure, try to be nice to people and don't be a total slob, but also at some point you have to be able to look past others' opinions of yourself and see that what YOU think of yourself is more important. Just don't get all egotistical on us, hehe.

You mentioned emotional baggage and shit going wrong as part of the reason you've come to your conclusion, so that's why I mentioned it. Not having time because of schoolwork and struggles of day-to-day living is just something that has to be dealt with, and in fact, it's a good idea to focus on those instead. Trying to have a relationship with someone else when your relationship with yourself is in deep water is a baaaad idea. Of course, once you are in control of your own situation again, it's possible that you could look into a relationship with someone else again, or not, your choice. Before that though, I wish you luck on your current challenges of living.