So, I like a girl, but as luck would have it, she lives over ten hours away. Now, I have had a long distance relationship in the past. Suffice to say it isn't my favorite kind of relationship, but we have so much in common, connect so well, etc. that I really don't think I could find another girl I'd be better off with.
The problem is, I'm not sure if I should tell her I'd like to be her boyfriend now, or just wait until we're closer (which should happen eventually if she doesn't leave the area she's in now). Sometimes I think it's not worth putting eachother though the stress and such of a long-distance relationship, but other times I really want to tell her. I'm sure others here have had this conflict.
So although it's ultimately up to me, what would you do? Tell her now, or wait a year or two until you live a little closer to eachother? I don't think there's too much risk of her finding someone else, though it's still a frightening possibility. As for her moving to the other side of the country or something by the time I get there -- it's just a risk I thought up, she's never mentioned doing it. Still, it's a possibility that would leave me stuck there without her for a few years until I'm out of school.
I do think a long distance relationship would be worth it with her in the long run. Still, what would you do?
>>1
2 words, dont bother
srry, but its true, and thats just my opinion, not gonna work out...in the long run, its actually worse, but anyway, if you plan on moving closer together though in the future, try it?
I've never been in a long-distance relationship, but I can imagine the problems. If I were you, I would go for it. Even though there would be some difficulties, it would still make me very happy to share my life and feelings with someone, even if it were to be by email or phone calls. I wouldn't wait because like you stated there is always the possibility that she will find someone else. That would be awful.
There is also the possibility that she will turn you down. I'd rather be disappointed now than wait for a year to be disappointed. If you don't think you will find someone more suitable for yourself, go for it. I think it would make you happy. Good luck with your choice1
Same problem -.-''
I think I am going to give it more time before I decide. I have been really good at timing things in the past (not just with relationships specifically; my friends have noticed this, too), so I think if I'm not sure what I should do, I should wait. I think if I get to know her a little better, I can better tell if she would want to be in a long distance relationship until we could live closer together, and also if she would want to be with me in the first place.
good choice. Just be careful not to get too deep in the freindzone. Once you're stuck, its hard to get out
>long distance relationship
lol, stupid men.
Wake up! Women are simpler than you think, if they don't see you often they will forget you and their interests will slip to other men.
Sad but true on No.7s comment...a true "out of sight, out of mind" situation
But then again, if she doesn't see you, you can still make the effort to stay in touch and keep yourself fresh in her mind, right?
>>8 Yes, long distance relationships can last for years, given that you see eachother every once in a while, at least. They can probably last without seeing eachother for an equal amount of time, but I don't have the experiences to affirm that much.
Anyways I ended up telling her I like her a while back and she said she liked me too, but it was hard for her to decide since we've never met. That's good enough for me -- at least I know I'm not on a wild goose chase.
Also, I'm pretty sure she knows about this thread and that it's about her which is embarassing so please don't bump it anymore lol orz
Yes, women are much simpler than u think. Men do complicate things much.
However, this could solve your problem simply. If indeed you connect, try talking to her about it. Tell her exactly that: "it's still a frightening possibility" that she may find someone else, and you are indeed interested in her. and as >>3 said, tell her
"it would make me very happy to share my life and feelings with someone, even if it were to be by email or phone calls." (cause obviously you do want that) BUT you don't want to "put each other though the stress and such of a long-distance relationship".
Give her the choice, and be clear that neither of you wants or will interfere in each other's personal lives if LDR doesn't go well. otoh, both could drive each other crazy and have phone sex.
I hope I'm always clear about when I write "saying" and "telling" means always saying or telling in RL or by phone. Never in writing or typing as in Messenger or 4-ch.net
Obviously in the context of a date it's RL, face-to-face.
>>12 Didn't I say not to bump! :_(
Well thanks for the advice! I decided to tell her I like her, so I don't really need anymore input for the time being. I'm pretty confident in myself, I was just having a tough time deciding what to do when I made this thread. Thanks for the input though!
Don't fixate on her until you can see each other on a daily basis. Until then just work on improving yourself so you can meet someone who lives a bit closer to you.
is right... Im technically in a long distance relation ship now... not as severe... but nevertheless... he and i are inseparable T.T ... but we still make it work. I HATE LDRs but we love eachother... so we work through it sigh
Please sage orz
LDR... If your not careful you can end up very lonly not being able to connect on a personal level, if you're not willing to commit then don't waste your time.
Uh, if she already knows about this thread and that it's about her, haven't you like already told her all she needs to know but in a really bad way? Or do you rely on that she has so many internet contacts who could potentially have a crush on her, you could just hide yourself in the masses?
I hate you Secret Admirer!
>>18 Yes she knows about the thread and she knows who made it, and the conflict is over so it's just embarassing and unnecessary for it to be bumped!