It's fucking emo night! (24)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-27 10:13 ID:Heaven

Hey, Love and Romance board, it's been a while since I'd posted. I see you guys are still completely on-topic, that's good.

I'm feeling pretty down now, having cried like hell a few hours ago. My life's so damn complicated it makes anime look boring sometimes.

See, I know this girl. She's about the smartest and most beautiful girl in the universe to me. And she probably thinks I'm about one of the smartest and funniest guys in the universe, too. Everyone in my family thinks we're going out, and everyone else pretty much treats us like we are.

She has a boyfriend. I've known her for almost a year, but I've never met him. Apparently he's a big guy, mean as hell, and diabolically evil. On top of that, he hates me for some reason. I'm not too thrilled with him, either, since his existance prevents me from ever actually going out with this girl for real, which is kind of where the crying started.

See, me and this girl were over at my house, doing some homework and stuff for a while, and when she got done with her stuff, I drove her home. We were talking about sex and stuff when she mentioned her boyfriend, a topic I'm always trying to steer clear of. She kept going on about how dead I'd be if he ever found out about what we've done so far (a whole lot of kissing and a bit of groping), and if we'd ever actually done it, she says, he'd somehow know and kill me double.

She's actually stronger than me, but I'm so typical guy that I kept on that he couldn't kill me, that I didn't care what happened so long as I could be with her, etc. But she kept on about it, and how damn evil the guy is, and how he says she's the only thing that he really cares about at all and would kill any other boyfriends she'd ever get, and I said he was probably guilting/scaring her into marrying him, like some kinda idiot. By the time we got to her house, I couldn't even speak about it anymore and just cried and cried.

I guess I hit the word limit...

2 Name: 1 : 2006-04-27 10:22 ID:Heaven

She sat in the car and comforted me the whole time. I'd always wondered why she seemed to contradictory all the time, saying she wanted to have my kids one day and then going back to that guy the next. She said that I'm the most influencial person in her life, and her best friend, and that she loves me. She pretty much said just about every thing I'd ever wanted, except that we could be together.

Kinda sounds like she was just blowing smoke up my ass, doesn't it... well, I guess it does seem like something completely unlikely, but I guess truth is stranger than anime. We're all retarded otaku around here anyway, right...

But yeah, ever since I've met her, she's always been there for me. I've become a much better person with her around, and I've definitely felt better about myself, too. The fact that she feels the same way about me makes me feel a lot better about everything, but goddamn, it's still terrible that we can't actually get together.

I'm not really saying all this to get your guys's advice or anything, but if you'd like to tell me how stupid this all sounds, go ahead. I'm pretty much just offering up my story to the most powerful force I can think of, the motherfucking collective of the interbutts, in hopes that one day everything will turn out all right, even if I gotta break a couple bones.

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-27 11:17 ID:Heaven

I enjoyed this story.

Ass or crotch? I don't know. It is a difficult question.

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-27 11:57 ID:eZVi59Tx

mate, it doesn't sound stupid. why can't she break up with him??

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-27 15:41 ID:l/i2uOEk

But seriously, how can she be The Smartest Girl In The Universe if she keeps going with a fucking idiot like that? I mean, heck; if you don't like someone, then don't stay with them.

She's only together with him because he's a huge, strong guy? Holy fuck, that is weak. Too weak. She's so scared that she lets him fuck her and call her his? And then she's cheating on him with you? Whore. Ok, even if this boyfriend of hers proved to be a dickhead, that gives her no valid reason to cheat on him. You're a bastard too, doing things to another guy's girl. If she does such things while together with him, why wouldn't she do it again if you two actually got together?

Oh gawd, I would never get involved with such a studip and slutty girl.

I can understand your feelings for her, but kissing and groping another guy's girl is the way of dickheadness. Can't you see it's wrong? If she's interested in you as a boyfriend, then she should end her current relationship before moving on. Also, don't you think it's gross to think about her sex with that guy? Yes, you are actually sharing the girl. Almost makes her a slut, huh?

6 Name: 電気男 : 2006-04-28 05:16 ID:jBprHjpJ

Sounds like this guy needs an ass whooping to kill his mean streak. And you may find yourself needing some self defense skills, so I'd kinda recommend building up and maybe doing some martial arts, since from what you said this guy would probably give you an ass whooping if you ever met him. You're in dangerous waters, but I kinda agree with 5, sounds like a slut who can't make up her mind. You could be mean but forceful and make her give you a valid reason why shes with him, and if its something you can do, then do it.

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-28 05:48 ID:q1PE6J6s

We are all but lines in the sand.....

It does not matter if we live or die...

That said, this bitch is not worth your time or trouble. You are an emotional tampon meant to boost her own skewed perceptions of her douchebag boyfriend.

Be a man, you can do better. Ditch that bitch...

Find someone better, move on.

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-28 23:55 ID:J9eex/lL

It seems that I'm not the only one who feels a majority of the best women end up with the worst guys.

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-29 04:08 ID:nsTAFbcs

i believe you the only one, >>8

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-29 15:35 ID:vYzoVlkX

And the best guys with the worst women :/

11 Name: G Otoko!AboRDsJIEk : 2006-04-30 09:18 ID:ZHh6OoqL

I don't think you're a fool for holding out for her. You're in love right? If you love someone, you'll do anything for em, as hard as it is.

I don't think what she is doing with you is fair. I don't think her behavior around you is right. And unfortunately, unless you stand up for yourself, you will never have a true relationship with her because she knows you wont press it because of this "boyfriend."

You should stand up for yourself and find out where you two stand. Otherwise nothing is going to change and you will still be emo months from now.

Hope for the best my friend.

12 Name: My Sentences : 2006-05-01 09:16 ID:EuCRxw9r

You're obviously a complete stranger and I clearly have never met either you or the girl in question. Of this we can all be ABSOLUTELY certain.

But just from the point of view of a spectator that has - once again - definitely never met either one of you and have clearly just heard about this for the first time ever, I'd like to say a few things, if I may.

The girl in question has obviously lived a life just like you or I have. She has experienced pain and disillusionment as well. Right now, she's at a very crucial point in her life, and she doesn't know how - much less, WHO - to trust. Therefore, she tries to desperately cling to everyone around her, showing as much affection as humanly possible because she feels that by doing so, her presence will be mutually wanted and needed by those around her.

Do you understand what I'm telling you? She's afraid to commit, and simultaneously, she's afraid to be abandoned.

That means that you can't just go foisting yourself on her and trying to get her to dump her boyfriend. It ends up telling her that she chose to love the wrong person. And whether that's true or not, it's not YOUR decision to make. ESPECIALLY if you don't have the guts to even MEET this boyfriend. How can you POSSIBLY say that you're the one for her if the best you can do is tiptoe around the issue and hope that you'll get lucky and never meet this man?

You don't keep her from giving you her physical attentions because you gnaw on them like a squirrel storing food away for a harsh winter. And yet you don't do anything brave or decisive to make her realize that she needs you and ONLY you. These half-measures will get you nowhere, and you know it. Either take a stand, or step aside. You can't have it both ways.

13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-05-02 04:11 ID:r4Thdmve

she doesn't sound like the faithful sort. why would you go out with someone that dates with more than one person? shouldn't she either break up with the other guy or you? seems like she's getting a lot more out of this 3 way thing than either you or the boyfriend.

14 Name: 1 : 2006-05-02 06:16 ID:O3ZM+n0V

>>12, of course I know you. You've been saying stupid things on DQN recently, you nononymous.

God, you guys make a lot of sense from a whole lot of different directions, you know? It's beautiful, which is why it's called the L&R board.

She hasn't really brought up the issue of meeting the guy in a while. Hell, she hasn't even seen him all that much for around a month, but generally I don't like having to hold a conversation about him, because I always feel like I'm being compared to him. That's... probably true, considering.

The next time that me and him meeting comes up, I'm not gonna back down. But, a friend of mine told me that I should really be patient about everything, so I'd rather not rush to meet him. I mean, hell, the idea gets me fucking nervous, I can't deny that. All I hear about the guy is that he hates just about everyone and especially me. But, when we meet, I'm gonna keep my cool and, come rain or snowcones, I'll come out the better man in the end.

I can't really say anything for my actions this far. I'm a dipshit, a damn horny dipshit even. I really wanna do it with her. I wanna do everything with her. And I'll do anything for her. Because, to me, that's love, and I'll do anything I have to for love. Any damn thing.

15 Name: My Sentences : 2006-05-02 09:06 ID:EuCRxw9r

>>14 AKA >>1 said: ">>12, of course I know you. You've been saying stupid things on DQN recently, you nononymous."

To that I say...

( ゚ ヮ゚) MITTENS!

Your friend seems to know what he's talking about >>14. I'm glad you seem to understand where he's coming from.

16 Name: 1 : 2006-05-03 20:59 ID:O3ZM+n0V

Well, I try. Unfortunately, the girl I like got pissed at me and won't talk to me anymore, and is instead trying to get something out of my friend, who is traditionally the nice guy who listens to everyone's problems. He's got a major headache from all that and is mostly trying to ignore it.

>>15, you sound like you deal with this kind of crap all the time, so go DQN or something while I tell everybody some more of what happened.

She text messaged me a little, yesterday. She said I was completely missing the point. I could believe that, I can be a little oblivious of things sometimes. She said I was a damn liar, and I told her that I didn't mean to say what I did, and that it didn't matter if she wanted to believe me or not. I told her that no matter what, I'd love her.

"But that's selfish," she said. I told her, people are selfish. If I were to just give up on my love just because things seemed hopeless for me, it wouldn't be worth being in love in the first place.

"But you're being selfish," she said. "Don't you know what you're doing to my relationship?"

I guess I could've said something really mean here, about how if things between her and her reclusive, invisible boyfriend were that bad, then it's completely not worth it, but I figured I'd give her some actual good advice.

What I told her is that she had the right to be selfish, too. Nobody would force her to do anything, but of course, everyone would try to influence her opinion, and it's all up to her to decide what she'll do from there. And then she stopped talking to me, I guess. That was yesterday.

So, I grabbed some stuff and went over to my friend's house. He had a flaming headache from her text messaging him a ton, which sucks since I was pretty much planning on not mentioning what happened to him.

So, I told him what happened, and what I said, and he said that I did all right. He was tired of watching me heap all of my affections on her and being ignored like that, and knowing him, he probably hopes she learns something from all this.

So hopefully she doesn't outright hate me or anything. She's a really good friend of mine, after all, she's just a bit fragile and doesn't seem to know much about love.

17 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-05-08 22:49 ID:DqkHdzIk

She almost sounds as if she's searching for affirmation of her worth beyond her probably ignoring and bossy boyfriend that treats her like her property. Your story sounds a lot like something a friend of mine went through last year though. He tried to get her to dump her boyfriend, but she was clingy and felt the safest situation was the one she already was in, so his appeals to make her venture into uncharted waters scared her and made her cling even more to the semi-abusive relationship with her boyfriend, and in the end ditched my friend as his constant desire for change in her situation irked her. Any significant change scared her too much, she didn't think she'd be strong enough to handle things if they went awry.

18 Name: 1 : 2006-05-09 00:27 ID:MuH7bhAj

Yeah, >>17, it's not exactly a new situation. The best thing your friend could've done was continually reinforce the fact that he'd be there for her no matter what. Stuff like that doesn't work for me, though, since no matter what I do from here on I'm pretty much doomed to get yelled at every other day by this girl for a bunch of made-up reasons.

She yelled at me for a bunch of made-up reasons yesterday, through AIM. Said I was trying to ruin her relationship and all that. I'm... I'm not even sure how to go about ruining a relationship that barely shows any signs of existing outside of her mentioning on occasion the rare nice things her boyfriend does for her, and there's kind of a big difference between me trying to be a nice guy and occasionally responding to her saying we should be in a relationship and me consciously trying to ruin a relationship.

The difference is that if I'm in enough of a vile dickheadish mood to straight up try to ruin a relationship, it's not gonna take me a damn year to do. And someone's gonna break something.

But anyway, digressing. She called up this morning and apologized for the way she acted yesterday. She asked me to call her back, but I don't want to, because she probably meant all those things, even if she was stressed out from working on finals. Like a lot of people, myself included, she can be pretty contradictory sometimes. And, well, if I called her up today, I'd probably get annoyed at her and call her a whiny manipulative gold-digger, and I like her too much to say anything like that.

19 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-05-10 00:42 ID:DqkHdzIk

She definitely seems to not know be able to decide what she wants, and probably fears that her life would be worse if she dared to do something that she isn't a part of familiar habit already.

20 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-05-10 00:47 ID:DqkHdzIk

*that she doesn't have as a part of familiar habit already.


21 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-05-10 01:11 ID:DqkHdzIk

>>18 Perhaps you should point out her contradictory behaviour, the things she says, and point out that ultimately she is the one who decides what's going to happen? Perhapse you should look up information online on how to deal with people in an abusive relationship? Not that he probably beats her, but she definitely seems mentally abused. Why does she think it's okay to be treated like that? Did she have a difficult upbringing?
Pointing out to her face that if you had wanted to ruin the relationship you wouldn't be doing it by supporting her could be good? or not. Also point out that she is the one who keeps saying bad things about her boyfriend, and that you wouldn't have been interested in the idea of her leaving her boyfriend (which she is the one who kept bringing up) for you if she actually had been in a happy and healthy relationship with this bloke?

Or maybe just stfu about everything, let her crash and burn and be there to pick up the wreck once she realizes how bad things are? I dunno. Depends on how unstable her relationship is and what sort of person she is, i guess. A lot of people in bad relationships cling even more to them if they feel they're forced to decide on things too quickly (as well as things they're not certain of as they fear they might be manipulated into things they do not really want), rather than getting sick and tired of getting shit from the other person and leaving them for a safer situation/person.

Get her to talk about her relationship with her boyfriend and the relationship with you with other people. Somewhere along the line she has to realize that what she is going through is NOT okay if enough people (without direct gain in her decision, unlike you) point it out to her how unhealthy her relationship is with the bloke.

i dunno, i shall now cease to toss out suggestions, and go sleep. some 3 AMs were never meant to be seen.

22 Name: Jane : 2006-05-10 07:06 ID:CU9nTP8w

I'm bored every day.
is there interesting things?

23 Name: My Sentences : 2006-05-10 08:55 ID:EuCRxw9r

Hi. First of all, Jane, you're a dick. Shut up.

Second of all, if the two of you don't resolve this, >>1, I might just end up doing something drastic about it in order to keep this viscious circle from continuing. And you know that when I say it's drastic...

24 Name: Secret Admirer : 2017-03-10 18:37 ID:B7VuVs6X

dicks out for Harambe

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