What a great friend?? (46)

1 Name: Chosen : 2006-05-20 06:43 ID:OcYvaA0E

Hello all. Like a lot of other people on 4-ch I have this problem. Well Tonight was my prom night and everything is going great between me and my date and w/e....my friend (who is dateless)cracks jokes all night and flirts with my date (knowing that I like her). It happend here and there but i thought nothing of it (maybe like juss being friendly or w/e) turns out through the whole night they go at it flirting...I try and sqeeze myself back in there with her but it doesnt go all that well....at the end of the night i didnt even get a good night kiss or anything(just a "bye")....GREAT FREIND HUH??....he knew what he was doing the whole night and she juss went along with it.....any suggestions on what I should do now....how should I approach this?

Thanks in advance for your replies.

2 Name: Admirable Secret!3pI2s8EqCA : 2006-05-20 07:03 ID:xdPGuuK7

Well, this is a very stupid topic. Wait, I didn't mean stupid, per se... but rather idiotic.

1: Why are you hanging out with a third person during a supposedly romantic encounter?

2: How do we know for SURE that he was flirting with her? "Flirting" is such a general term, and I noticed a distinct lack of embellishment. What, was he SPEAKING with her? Was he smiling? Having a good time? Was he kissing her, or passing notes? What the HELL is "flirting," and how do I know he wasn't just being friendly?

3: What is stopping me from thinking that it wasn't your friend's fault you didn't get a good night kiss, but rather your own? From the sound of things, you spent more time that evening seething about your friend that I'm not surprised she didn't want to spend more time with you.

4: Why don't you be a man and actually approach your friend/girlfriend about this issue instead of whining to a group of strangers about someone supposedly horning in on your main squeeze?

5: Have you heard of spellchecking?

5b: Is there any point to you capitalizing words in the middle of your sentences?

6: Are you, in fact, Ulrich in disguise?

7: Do you have ANY respect for either your girlfriend's or your friend's feelings? Anonymous or not, you've essentially portrayed her as a slut and your friend as a dateless scumbag trying to steal your life's blood away from you. A LITTLE impartiality will not fucking kill you, for God's sake.

8: Are you, in fact, simply posting here so people will feel pity for you, giving you justification for simply avoiding the problem in real life and hoping that it will go away on its own?

The answers to those questions would clarify things quite a bit, thank you.

3 Name: RedMuppet : 2006-05-20 19:17 ID:Heaven

>>2 While I understand what you're trying to say, I hope you'd be a little less harsh about him complaining to a bunch of strangers. We're all here to help out and not flame others.

4 Name: holdincourt : 2006-05-21 03:06 ID:fpP2LhNf

I think in this case, (without answering the questions from the previous dude), i think it would be good if you still continued to pursue the girl as you would.

Sure, the prom night didn't go well or as planned...but unless your friend has already stepped up to go after this girl (which it doesn't sound like it), then I think you still have a chance to make the impression you want to make.

Right?

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-05-21 05:30 ID:Heaven

>>3 whats wrong with criticism?

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-05-21 10:05 ID:9d9lxQ9x

>>1
You really need to talk to him and state what you feel. He was out of line, and he needs to know that. You really should have tried harder during the prom to convey this, but I suppose better late than never. Also, ask him about his relationship with her, because you need to find out if the flirting was the beginning of something or an isolated incident.

If this was just a one-off thing between them, then (if you think your date has any respect left for you at all), you need to be more aggresive in your persuance of her. You need to do things with her in a non-group situation; that is your chance to talk to/flirt with her without outside interferance, and you need to use that opportunity to improve your situation, as right now you may come off as slightly wimpy.

Please answer >>2's second question.

What is your relationship with your prom date? Is she a long-time crush, a legitimate girlfriend, or just a prom date?

7 Name: Mireille guy : 2006-05-22 03:08 ID:rSyZX56i

Chosen I've been in those circumstances myself. It's fine tho, you can let the bastard make a fool of himself. Just watch. Those kind of guys can never get the girl to bed.
If you really want to be a man, hold her from the wrist and ask her for a private conversation and take her somewhere else. She won't refuse you since you ARE her date.
Do what you need to do from there.

I say DO NOT, I REPEAT DO NOT go talk to him and state how you feel. You are not his bitch. Just be a man and do what I told you if something like that ever happens again.

About the girl, ask her out and forget the losers.

8 Name: Admirable Sercret!3pI2s8EqCA : 2006-05-22 05:35 ID:xdPGuuK7

>>7's brilliant strategy: "I say DO NOT, I REPEAT DO NOT go talk to him and state how you feel. You are not his bitch. Just be a man and do what I told you if something like that ever happens again."

In other words, be a man and DON'T confront the issue directly at all. Sneak around behind your friend's back because you are too gutless to tell him to back off. Remember that every relationship/friendship relies solely on deceit and cowardice.

Great advice.

9 Name: holdincourt : 2006-05-22 06:21 ID:3ebc+D6E

Interesting comments...

I think if the friend really considered 'Chosen' a friend, and was at least OBSERVANT enough to notice Chosen liked his date, then he should have backed off...

Dunno how long you have been friends with this dude, Chosen, but seriously think...if you confronted him about the girl, what would your reaction be if he said YES he was interested in her? Would you back off or tell HIM to back off?

If it's the latter, then Mireille may have the right idea in just ignoring him and continuing your pursuit of the girl.

If it's the former...well, can't help you there, unfortunately.
Can't grow a backbone online...

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-05-22 08:03 ID:/ftdLlZY

win her heart!

11 Name: holdincourt : 2006-05-22 08:26 ID:3ebc+D6E

Win her heart?! Sage advice, sage....

12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-05-22 08:47 ID:Heaven

win her heart!

13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-05-22 09:09 ID:Heaven

Eat her heart! That way it will be with you forever!

14 Name: holdincourt : 2006-05-22 09:11 ID:3ebc+D6E

Cannibalism...the ONLY way to get every girl within a 30 mile radius to run to their ex-boyfriends.

grins

15 Name: Tripcode!uj/koSf.Zc : 2006-05-22 10:10 ID:xdPGuuK7

If that's the only way YOU'VE found, you're not being creative enough, >>14.

16 Name: holdincourt : 2006-05-22 10:13 ID:3ebc+D6E

Yes, it is so far... >_<

17 Name: holdincourt : 2006-05-22 10:14 ID:3ebc+D6E

>>15 SO THERE

18 Name: Chosen : 2006-05-25 02:39 ID:OcYvaA0E

In response to the second post
--There was a group of eight people....3 couples and 2 singles and every couple ethier was going out, or was messing around with each other. Also it was late at night when I started this topic so please dont flame me for stupid reasons.

After the second posts criticism I confronted my friend and he told me that he was not trying to get with her. So I brushed it off and continued to talk to her.

I have known The girl for a while and we hang out often....I'm supposed to go to her house this weekend to hang out so thats good.

Today I found out that he was indeed trying to get with her. My other friend that was there that night told me when they were talking about it in class. The one boy said "I knew I was flirting with her and I didnt care".He does know that I like her but he insists on acting the way he does.....high school changes people....

19 Name: holdincourt : 2006-05-25 03:51 ID:3ebc+D6E

well, knowing that, then you have to make your pursuit that much more aggressive...especially if you like this girl.

20 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-05-25 13:16 ID:2NelO+WQ

Make sure she's not a skank, and that she doesn't have any diseases

21 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-05-25 13:26 ID:1KjSATEy

ewww...

...and what GREAT advice...-_-'''

22 Name: Chosen : 2006-05-26 00:02 ID:OcYvaA0E

I dont think she's a skank, and I know she doesnt have any diseases so it's all good.

23 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-05-26 03:47 ID:su/FbZLW

>>22
Wow, you're an OB-GYN as welll

24 Name: holdincourt : 2006-05-26 04:23 ID:3ebc+D6E

YOU KNOW she doesn't have any diseases? She TELLS you this...?!?
Even then, can't really rely on that info...

25 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-05-26 05:48 ID:Heaven

>>24
No, he has amazing mind powers with which he can tell if anyone has STDs

26 Name: holdincourt : 2006-05-26 06:34 ID:3ebc+D6E

>>25 wow, I want those powers!

27 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-05-27 00:16 ID:/HkBXx61

Amen. Next we need powers to tell a girl's <guy's too, I'm not being sexist> age. Because we know they always tell the truth... :P

28 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-05-28 21:06 ID:8yJokr8h

Why are you guys talking STD's? She isn't his girlfriend at all yet, and how shallow are you to have the S so soon in a relation where you don't even know where you stand? Anyway, chosen, good luck with hanging out. We'd like to hear how it went.

29 Name: holdincourt : 2006-05-29 08:30 ID:3ebc+D6E

yeah! keep reporting!

30 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-05-29 13:17 ID:NwBPUyqR

>>28
Knowing that it's true eliminates her right away

31 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-05-30 23:26 ID:8yJokr8h

i wonder what happened to Chosen. Weekend is over. Still not done hanging out?

how old is he anyway? specs please

32 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-05-31 00:40 ID:Q34CAiR9

28, the thread starter said he knows she doesn't have any STDs. What psychic ability is this he has?

33 Name: Chosen : 2006-05-31 02:39 ID:OcYvaA0E

Hello all, sorry for the late post.

LOL she does not have any STD's, i'm almost 100% positive >_>....

I did hang out with her during the weekend, and we did happen to kiss once or twice. I found out after all that she does indeed like me. We currently do not date or anything though. Im not sure if I should push it and ask her out or wait a little bit longer.

Oh and I am 17 turning 18 in about 2 months or so. -- In response to post 31 lol.

I will keep you guys posted.

34 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-05-31 08:16 ID:GuaClT5r

push it and ask her out

35 Name: holdincourt : 2006-05-31 11:27 ID:V8ZXwWAO

Dude, you kissed...i think you've been given the LITERAL greenlight to ask her out and develop further!

GO GO!

36 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-05-31 13:49 ID:Q34CAiR9

Yeah, I think you've passed the point where you need to be worried about asking her out.

37 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-05-31 22:02 ID:8yJokr8h

Chosen, you seem to still evaluate the situation from the sideline. How come? Are you unsure as to wether she loves you? From the developments, seems like you need little advice on how to conduct (congrats). I expect that Datina (or give us a better name) may need a little time to sort out her feelings. Neither of you has had a boy/girl-friend yet have you? Considering you guys' age, there's no need to rush. I feel like saying Ganbatte.

38 Name: holdincourt : 2006-05-31 23:55 ID:V8ZXwWAO

Chosen, I agree with >>37 's comments, but also believe that you have a great chance right now. SO, for your sake (isn't it always the case?), gather up the courage and ask this girl out properly and take that next big step every boy will take to manhood!

GO GO!

39 Name: Mireille guy : 2006-06-02 15:12 ID:Heaven

If she wants you, then take her. Dude wtf u waiting for? And don't let her get close to the other guy. Kiss her in front of him. >;)

40 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-06-03 06:34 ID:Ct8EABJo

>>33
Get as far as you can before she flakes out on you

41 Name: Chosen : 2006-06-05 02:58 ID:OcYvaA0E

Hello all. I asked her out yesterday even though I was really nervous. She did not give me a straight response though. What she said was "we have to talk about it more". I'm guessing because of her mothere and how overprotective her mother is. Today I did not push the subject at all...In fact I never brought it back up today. We basically hung out all weekend. To other people it looks as if we are dating now, and even to myself it looks as if we are. But, I still do not know for fact that we are even though we act like we are. Ugh!!! I'm so confused!

I'll countinue to keep you guys posted.

42 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-06-05 06:48 ID:/ftdLlZY

looks can be decieving. i've been in the situation where you feel like (and even seems like to others) that your dating someone but really you're not (as much as you wish you were). honestly, it doesn't look too good. don't get your hopes up man. -_-

43 Name: holdincourt : 2006-06-05 06:54 ID:3ebc+D6E

definitely...it's the worst move you can make for yourself to ASSUME you are dating someone...

So until you guys HAVE that conversation, best to assume you are just friends who hang out a lot...unfortunately.

44 Name: Chosen : 2006-06-08 02:35 ID:OcYvaA0E

GOOD NEWS!!!

We Talked about dating and she said that the only reason she was scared to date me is because i'm going to be going to college and she thinks that i'm going to cheat on her or something.

Then we talked a little and I explained to her how I saw it and how I felt. But everything turned out good because now we are officially dating. Thanks for the help guys.

45 Name: holdincourt : 2006-06-08 03:16 ID:3ebc+D6E

Congrats!

46 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-06-10 20:27 ID:Heaven

gratz man

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