Well, this is a different kind of thread for Love & Romance, no emotional outbursts here, just (hopefully) some social discussion.
Think of this situation as general -- it could happen in any context, and serves as an example of what I'm talking about when it comes to social interference. I'm not asking for advice about a specific plan of action.
My friend is going through a bit of a trial right now in his relationship, one of those obstacle situations that just need to be addressed, resolved, and then the relationship can move on, or if things have been handled poorly, perish. It's mainly a communication issue, and not so serious, but of course things can get out of hand quickly; that's why a few mutual friends, including myself, are trying to help out. Ultimately we're encouraging him to talk to her and express his feelings, as this situation requires a bit more than a simple apology. He's a shy-ish but articulate guy, so he's somewhat receptive to our ideas and half-willing to approach things but not quite. He needs help here, but we can only do so much.
The question is, for all of us introverts here on 4-ch, do other people attempting to help you out really cause more bad than good? Have you yourselves had experiences where other's interferences have not been helpful? what did they do wrong? what did they do right? What, in general, are some good rules of thumb when it comes to trying to help others romatically?
I think people giving advice to a friend is fine. It's a different perspective, and always good to have one...coz the main guy in this case is probably having too many thoughts to come to a proper conclusion and, like you said, is also shy and all...
Where it becomes too much, I think, is when the friend's themselves begin making decisions for someone...or even try to solve the problem themselves by approaching the antagonist of the whole thing (if there is one) or whatever...
Certain things need to be done by the person facing the problem in the first place...and all friends can do is be there as support.
it depends on the situation. I think there's usually a chance of botching the intervention attempt though so I'm not sure if it's worth the risk. whatever will be will be.
With those kinds of things, give advice when it's asked for. Make him feel good about his decisions and encourage him to plan out what he's going to do, so that he will become self-sufficient
Slap him in the face and tell him to wake up. In love and war all's fair. If he doesn't feel strong enough about his relationship, then he should give it up. It doesn't matter if he's an introvert or not. I'm introvert and I fare pretty well with women.
If you're counseling a girl, then listening to her problems is all you have to do.
Personally, I think it depends on the person. Some people don't mind getting advice from others, some people would prefer that others mind their own business.
To me, I would prefer if others minded their own business. It would be MY relationship, not theirs. Just between me and the guy. The others aren't part of it so they really wouldn't know how our relationship 'worked.' What works for them may not work for us.
HOWEVER, if they WANT some help than I suppose giving some advice is fine as long as the friends don't get too dominate over what s/he should do. I think it would be best for their CLOSEST friend to offer help, since they may be more trusted and the person probably feels more comfortable with them knowing things. Thats only if they WANT help.
If they DON'T want help you may just annoy and stress them.
However, if they're one of those couples that share all their info and problems with everyone, then I guess it really doesn't matter.