So, the girl I love told me one day that she feels unloved by me. While she wants to remain close (physically and emotionally), she wishes to be only friends. It's not so much she's not interested in me, it's more... Kinda hard to explain this. She feels this need to make other people happy. She listens to heartbroken guys and does her best to make them feel better about themselves, brings them confidence, and gets them back on their feet to find a more stable, meaningful relationship. The difference with me is we became boyfriend and girlfriend, and shared secrets with each other that we dare not with anyone else, including our own bodies.
Ultimately our relationship as it was broke off. She knew that so long as she had me as an official boyfriend she could not help these others in fear of losing me. That sort of thinking is what led to several fights that ended with us seperated.
Had there been any other answer to this question I would have ended my pursuit of her, to simply stay friends and not have an intention of going farther. But I had asked her out of emotional distress, "If one day I asked to marry you, what would you say?" And without hesitation she said "Yes." It came as a shock to me, because until then she had been confused and indecisive... it was the first blatently honest answer she gave me.
My question to you all: Should I continue to wait for her while she sorts out what she needs to do in life? Should I save myself for this girl, the one I love and who knows the most about me, in the hopes of one day renewing a relationship that I feel she wants one day. Or am I subjecting myself only to more pain? I'm not exactly an outgoing guy, so its rare that I ever meet new people. Frankly I don't want to right now. What do you guys think?
>>1
She needs to learn that she can help guys in spite of being together with someone, though not the same way.
Why does she do it that way, though? Why does she have that need? Does she try to heal a part of her broken self by "healing" other people? She IS getting something out of it emotionally, humans do not do things they do not get something on some level out of it.
And you need to get more tolerant towards her. If you really want to be with her, you need to learn to cope with her behavior to some extent.
If you should wait or not though, I don't know. Good luck, >>1
>>1
Reading this makes me think that you have a guilty conscience. You try too hard to cover up how you feel. It's like you just fit into whatever mold other people cast for you. You should try to live a more active life and learn to be more honest and to do good things instead of doing bad things in secret.