Please help... (5)

1 Name: 33!bG03Hu1uIo : 2006-06-06 22:51 ID:L6ikg1JR

Hey guys.
I am a guy with not much of experience with romance, and I need help.

I have known this girl for about 6 months now, and we got close and "hung out" as time passed on. We make jokes a lot and I feel really comfortable when I am around her. I only thought her as a friend but someday my feelings towards her began to develope. Everytime I "hang out" with her I keep finding very good qualities that she possesses. She perfectly matches the descriptions of the girl I was dreaming to meet. We have had a few "events" (like the ones in Japanese dating simulation games) and I got attracted to her more and more. I never want to let go of her.

Now, here is the problem. She is currently in a relationship. Sometimes she mentions of her boyfriend when we "hang out," and that brings me down significantly, even though I do not mention it. One day, she explicitly asked me if I like her, and I said yes. Then she again asked if I like her as a friend. I kind of hesitated and replied "maybe" just because it wasn't the right time and right place to confirm my feelings toward her.

Do you think she is just seeing me as a good friend? I know I've got some hints and feelings that she likes me also, but I want to be careful because I might be interfering with her relationship with her boyfriend. Or am I just being used as a "toy?"

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-06-07 00:16 ID:z1RDy2Fl

maybe it's time to just clear the air and if she doesn't feel the same way, perhaps it's time to move on?

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-06-07 06:39 ID:aPwy+9bY

>>1
Okay...I feel kind of sympathetic toward your plight so I'm going to help you.

First of all, life is not a Hentai Dating Sim. It just isn't. Keep this in mind. Second, do you KNOW she is in a relationship or is this something she just SAID. Some girls throw out the boyfriend angle as a way of putting up a comfort barrier. That way they won't be subjected to horniness, neediness, or come ons. This is normal and natural given today's political climate. And your fears of being used as a "toy" or more appropriately an "Emotional Tampon" are WELL warranted.

The fix? Very simple. Have some confidence. Don't get fixated on her because you "like her". Dude, I'm telling you this right now.

No matter how pretty a girl is, how nice she sounds, how good she smells, or how "captivating" she may be. Someone, somewhere is sick and goddamned tired of her bullshit.

Being attracted to her is one thing, but don't let it override your common sense. Have more confidence and remember that this girl is not the only girl in the world, nor is she the only girl for you.

So do what you do, change nothing, have more confidence and if you really like her. Just tell her one day that you like her and let her now how attractive she is to you. Don't just come out and be blunt because that sounds bad. Bullshit her a little bit. Learn how to bullshit women. Make them feel more important than they really are and once you have them, let them down sloooooowly.

A buddy of mine from Brooklyn told me that one. Tread lightly but I would say something like "Baby if you were my girlfriend we'd probably do this right about now" and mention something fun. It may not get an immediate response, but she'll think about it.

And if it doesn't work....then Oh well. Life goes on and tomorrow is a new day. And if her boyfriend is real and gives you shit, you tell him in your most assertive tone "Don't you fuck with ME, Buddy!" and turn around and walk away from him. Chicks dig it when guys fight over them.

4 Name: Marx : 2006-06-07 18:53 ID:uvWpWvuR

>>3
If I tried really, really hard... it MIGHT be possible for me to agree with this guy more.

Honestly, they're smack on the money. No matter how perfect a girl might seem (or, alternatively, might BE), there is ALWAYS somebody else if you screw this one up.

Not an excuse to be a jerk, of course, but absolutely enough to be confident. Ask her if she feels the same way... if she doesn't, get over her (stay friends if you want), and move on. There will (WILL) be another. If she does have the same feelings... victory! Either way, it's a win-win.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-06-09 04:06 ID:qe3gLbSO

#1 if she really has a boyfriend and she's going out with you, I'd question her loyalty

#2 if she's lying to feel safe, then she's probably not ready for a relationship

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