So I have a best friend, one I've met over the net, and never met in real life. That aside, she's still my closest female friend. I at one point was interested in another girl, but I felt like I was justing looking at the similarities in her to my friend. Interests, sense of humor, etc.
She's older than me by five years, and so far away it's truly unlikely I'd ever get to see her. I also fear if I ever told her how I feel about her, it would disrupt our friendship so much, it wouldn't recover.

I can't push myself to find someone else, because I'll just be comparing them to her. I really can't do anything, and that is why I feel sick all the time. Forgive my Emo-ness, I just had to tell it to someone.

Feel free to comment, give advice, or just vent at me