is it unusual... (7)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-06 11:28 ID:h/b55Aa5

...to not want someone as their own, but to want the "object of their affection" to be happy?
most of the ime, I se people (in fiction AND IRL) that seem to be in relationships for themselves alone. even if the person they're with wants to call it off for a good reason, they treat it like they were trying to kill them.

some people even going as far as stalking, the one they claim to love, yet not cluing in that just maybe that person may be better off without them, if they're so possessive.

me personally, if woman I was in love with, was happy with someone else, I would be content (as long as they weren't being used or hurt)
and if they were happy with me, I'd be extatic, but I know that wouldn't be likely.

is that odd?

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-06 14:05 ID:Uq06bq3r

Yes. It means you are a faggot.

3 Name: frigid onanoko : 2006-07-06 16:02 ID:AmNlmvHX

No. its not unusual. But asking about this is a bit odd... Are your parents divorced and do you have no siblings or what?

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-07 05:00 ID:Heaven

Hang in there, Tomoyo-chan. Your time will come.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-08 12:20 ID:jZIO9IwJ

>>4
Is there a post that you DON'T reply to??

@OP: have you ever been cheated on?

6 Name: Amarok : 2006-07-08 12:55 ID:Ur4BlIgW

>>1
I don't think this is such a strange question at all, just proves you are thinking. Not a lot of people do that these days.

My take on it is that in reality love is not a one way street in any direction, no one gets into it because they only feel for the others, nor do they get into it because they only want to satisfy themselvs. Love is what both of these things happen, you DO watch out for your own interests because YOU feel good being with this person, however do want to make them happy. It doesn't sound like the love you see many people in society describe it as, but in my experience this is as real as it gets. Love is a two way street, your not on it for just yourself nor are you just in it for them. (this goes for romantic love obviously, family love doesn't operate under such restrictions because you don't get the same experience out of it)

7 Name: frigid onanoko : 2006-07-08 14:34 ID:AmNlmvHX

Today frigid onanoko give you extra super reply!!! (/^_^)/ Yaey!

The word you are looking for is altruism. or perhaps the term altruistic sensitivity. In the social sciences people are frequently modelled as egoistic and rational. Perhaps all of what we call altruism can be explained by the notion of (egoistic) rational individualism. (I'd rather not debate that) This assumption of human behaviour is very succesful in models.

Because policies resulting from these models were and are very succesful too (capitalism was made possible by them), many people interpret their succes as an interpretation that people are in fact selfcentered, egoistic individuals. However, they overlook many mechanisms which translate this human internal state into the desires and preferences. There is a difference between the core motivations of people and the things that they want and (occasionally) realise.

Anyway, I mean to say that the sentiment at least in many western countries is that people are egoistic. Manga artists want to make their persona's do plausible things, and glance through a sociology introduction, don't think too much about the theoretical aspects they encounter and just apply theories as they see fit. Hence the overabundance of fifteen year olds behaving like adults (adults who realize they can have sex in an awkward fashion). But that doesn't mean that few people understand the reality of altruism. Church would be one example.

>if a woman I were in love with, was happy with someone else, I would be content

Bad Phrasing!! u in love with means she love you too. u seem to imply u love her and she not you. If the first, then dûh.... otherwise, you just immature, then you don't know what love is about.

Frigid onanoko has say enough now. going somewhere else. bye bye!

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