In the past year and a half, I have been working to help a friend- who, despite being a very nice and rather handsome guy- is 21, never had a girlfriend, and still a virgin.
We have had some initial successes- he started dating a girl for about 3 months before they broke up, and he has gone out on 1 or 2 dates. He has been working on his wardrobe (which used to be nothing but anime and metal shirts), has become a lot more playful, self-confident, and has broadened his interests beyond the usual "nerd stuff". But that's IT in the past year (we still have to work on his serious temper problem)...
What really puzzles me is we go to a lot of places where there are plenty of cute chicks to meet: malls, Goth clubs, cafes, bookstores, parks, etc. and while we meet a lot of interesting women, we have some key problems: The only girls who seem to be willing to talk to him or seem attracted to girls are either TAKEN or turn out to be FLAKES. He can easily get a girl's phone number, but they either turn out to never pick up/call him, or in getting to know them he finds out they're in a relationship!
What do you think is making so that my cute and funny friend cannot attracted single girls, but is surrounded by flirtatious taken women, flakes, and gay men?!
All you need is luck :(
Tell him to stick to jacking off.
More fun, less hassle, leaves you more money for guns, video games, and "Me" Time.
Seriously
Oh yeah and any girl who doesn't dig metal band shirts is a bitch anyways
>>2
Luck? No. You need assertiveness. OP keeps talking about trying to get girls to talk to him-- how about taking some initiative and speaking to THEM? I can confidently say that women like being approached-- flatter, converse, whatever.
Goddammit..
Let me drop the following knowledge upon you:
All the money you save from not messing with women you get to use towards YOURSELF. Think of the porn, the video games, the assault rifles, and everything else you could buy.
Anonymous sexual encounters are better if you just want sex with a living breathing human. But I'm telling you that you don't want that. Stick to beating off. It's a lot less hassle. Seriously.
And as I said before any girl who doesn't like Metal shirts is a bitch.
>>1
most of the times when people say "a friend of mine has....", they're reffering to themselves
>>7
most the the time when people say that people who say "afriend of mine has...." are referring to themselves, they're referring to themselves
>>8
most the the time when people say that people who say "afriend of a friend of mine has...." are referring to themselves, they're referring to themselves, they're referring to themselves
>>7
Actually, in this case, this is not true, I myself am in the middle of a completely different predicament (see http://4-ch.net/love/#8 ) that seems to be almost as painful, LOL... but you don't necessarily have to believe me =P
>>5
Actually, my friend HAS been approaching women, talking to them, taking initiative... but once again, when he talks to them, they either say "Oh, hi" and walk away from him, or in the course of a conversation they'll talk about their boyfriend/girlfriend. OY!
Do you think it's the WAY he's approaching them? Why is it so many of the women he talks to are TAKEN?
>>11
Seconded. They want you to get the fuck away from them.
>>11
That is something that has crossed my mind... The thing is, he follows the tricks and tips in talking to women that I use that have gotten me laid/gotten me a girlfriend in the past, but they STILL don't work... He's getting very bitter and I worry that he might "give up" too soon... Anyone got some tips/scenarios that can help us?
Cuz I feel bad takin' up all the pussy and my friend being left in the dust, even when I try to stay in the background =(
Tell your friend that even though he isn't getting any action, he's still making more progress than most of 4-ch.net
That should cheer him up.
YOU CAN DO IT, HANDSOMEOTOKO
TELL YOUR FRIEND TO KEEP TRYING!
"The light never fades, It just dims" Though you might not succed, never give up. Your Heart is your strength, it makes you who you are and what your made of. So keep moving on till your out of breath cause it'll be never till it's over."
-TokyoJapan22
>>14
Well, as a Bisexual male... I'd hit it =P (I'd never tell him that though, ha!) Soooo... yeah, he's pretty cute. Maybe we need to continue working on his wardrobe? I mean, he still does give off a bit of "geek" vibe... but if he's cocky and funny, then that shouldn't matter as much I'd think...
>>17
Yeah, but the thing is if you keep trying THE WRONG WAY you'll keep on failing. That's what I'm trying to determine: WHAT ARE WE DOING WRONG?
I was in a store today and a girl noticed my Madman (anime distributor among other things) hoody and said she liked it and showed me that she was wearing a Fullmetal Alchemist hoody. She asked where I got mine and I said at Supanova, a pop culture expo. And then it just drifted off as I was too shy to speak to her. She left and I instantly regreted it. I spent the rest of the day swearing at myself for being such a dickhead and not talking to her. I tried to find her after, but I couldn't.
I have never had a girlfriend, but there has been times that I know a girl likes me and because of my shyness, didn't talk to her or only said the minimum. Now I can add this to my list of regrets. I can't let this happen again. She seemed like a nice girl and now I will never know. She could have been the best girl for me or she could not have been. But how will I ever know?
Hmm...this seems to be a matter of luck rather than a matter of style. What kind of wardrobe is this friend of yours wearing now? As a girl, I'd have to say I'm attracted to dressy button-up shirts with collars and nice pants(PLEASE TO GAWD NO COWBOY PANTS...my eyes, they burneth with PAIN!x.x). Ties are sexy, too. Especially geeky ties, like ones with binary on them, or like my Art History teacher who wears a different tie every day, ranging from the Three Stooges to Spiderman. He's awesome.XD Remember, keep a little hint of his interests in his wardrobe; that way, he'll attract girls that are to his liking as well as her's. That's why I recommend the tie thing.
Now, as for avoiding flaky girls...hm. This is a tougher question. Usually, it's the hyper ones you need to watch out for; if they're overly energetic, I've noticed they're a little on the flaky side. Now, it's okay if they're hyper once in a while, but make sure they're somewhat steady in the head. Keep an eye out for the shy ones, or the ones with the mopey faces in the corner at nightclubs who don't look like they want to be there at all. You know, the one who's dragged in there by her friends, despite hating places like nightclubs with a passion? That's the girl your friend could try going for. Be wary, however; stick with your friend when you approach these girls. They might get hit on a lot. As a warning, do NOT use a cheesy pick-up line.
Yes, I'm totally making a lot of this up, but bear with me. It seems plausible enough in my mind, considering I've got a lot of friends who I enjoy being around that are always dragged into places like this one nightclub nearby, and they tend to mope around the bar area.
I usually just some to these forums to laugh and remember what being a geeky kid was like (no internet avalible when I was in highschool...), but I have to butt in and say that in post 19, Secret Admirer, has stated something any young person who feels hopeless about girls (or boys! I've known many women who complained they were to shy/introverted to get close to men) should listen to. It isn't about failing or winning (whatever that is). It is all about trying.
I am getting on in years. But several of my friends from highschool have never had a real serious relationship still. They probably never will. "J" lives alone in a trailer and plays video games all day and downloads fucking loli doujins. "C" makes a lot of money in programming, but he hasn't had a girlfriend since his second year of college (a controlling bitch who cheated and stole from him again and again). Both these guys are smart and not bad looking. Now they are very regretful and lonely individuals. They were always too shy and too protective of themselves to open up and give it a go. It is a sad and depressing thing for both them and me (who has been listening to their sob stories for many years now).
So go out and get embarassed and evetually get lucky and live while you can. Who knows who you'll find. I was also deathly shy as a kid, but even I got lucky and found someone who is honest and caring and not only allows me to indulge in my hobbies, but also enjoys them too.
Yeah, it wasn't that I wanted a girlfriend right then. I just hate myself for not trying. It doesn't matter what happened after.
All I know is that if you seek it you won't find it.
All you can really do is just be an awesome guy. Like me, I'm a pretty awesome dude.
I have a Steyr AUG, a Hotaru Real Doll, money in the bank and no obligations.
Chicks dig the holy shit out of me. It also helps if you don't care. Women HATE to be snubbed and ignored. That's what works for me when I want it.
Plus you have to look out for yourself. PLEASE DO NOT BE LIKE THESE GUYS WHO WORSHIP WOMEN. You know these guys who want to be in a relationship SOOOOOOOOO badly that they are already naming their children before they've even finished the first sentence with a girl they meet. Most women are bitches, it's true. they are. Selfish bitches and it ain't getting any better. Don't be possessive. if they are that valuable then you don't want it. Life is not like the anime or the tv.
Life is like a horror movie. Or at least for some people. ANd I love horror. Just be like whatever.
>>20
A lot of what you say is true, Haruhi, but I also have the dilemma that... well, if I stick around my friend when he's trying to pick up women, they'll usually gravitate towards me (even when I'm in the background), and then he gets all jealous and mopey for the rest of the night, and eventually lashes out at me.
Hehe, I understand.^_^ Hmm...maybe bring a woman along with you as your date or something. If you're already taken, women won't gravitate towards you so much, theoretically. Well, at least the decent ones that your friend would probably be interested in wouldn't gravitate towards you so much. Make sure you're not unconciously flirting, too, like paying attention to other girls. Keep your eyes on your friend and/or the girl you bring along. Also, make sure the girl knows the whole deal with your friend. Us girls love helping out with this kind of stuff. Mostly.XD Actually, she might be valuable in helping out.
Hope this helps.^_^;
Well, my friend and I went to a party the other night, and now I have realized that, in fact, my friend is still barely approaching women... He only talked to ONE woman at this one party, and that was a friend of mine who he had already met twice. =/
I think I've found the key problem, and it's time to nip it in the bud.
Yes! pound on the homosexuals frilly thoughts!