o I might be bi. What should I do? (19)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-18 15:03 ID:j2KmEyyZ

I’ve had a long term struggle within myself for a while. I’ve been fantasying about having sex with men as well as women for quite a few years. Also I am extremely turned on by transsexuals. I have felt this way for quite a few years (10 as far as I can remember) but I have always added it up to “I’m just a big perv” that’s all. Warning long post below!

As time went on I found myself masturbating to gay porn as well as straight porn as much. I even played with my own ass with various things I could find and use and I loved it. I think I came harder with something up there than I ever have before.

Well it’s gotten more intense in the past 2 years. About 2 years ago I had my first real “gay experience”. I was in school at night but I found myself skipping out and driving down to a local adult book store. I was looking around a the videos and next to the section I was looking at there was a door that lead back to the “video arcade” someone came out of it and I decided to go in. I have never been in one before this place was dark and had several booths all over the place. There were some TVs on the wall playing porn’s of various types. I was taken a bit back by this.

Then out of the blue a guy (pretty good looking too) comes up to me and asks me to go into a booth with him. He asked “do you suck cock” I said “never have before” Then he asked me to show him mine and I did and he showed me his. He then led me to another booth where he had a friend waiting. The guy sat down and dropped his pants sand his friend started sucking him. He then pulled mine down and started sucking me. I loved every second of this. He finished and I finished and we left.

I was pretty shocked at myself and went right home. I was freaked out but the next night I found I wanted to go back again and I did. This time though I was the one doing the sucking. I loved doing that too.

Now I have never had anal sex yet just oral but I want to try anal sometime. My problem is this. I always feel wrong after doing it because I’m a guy I shouldn’t be doing this with other guys at all. Also I am married as well. I love my wife but there is something she just can’t give me in bed. She just sort of lays there and does nothing. She won’t indulge me on any fantasies I have such as dressing up (cosplay) anal sex (on her or me) some light bondage stuff and other sexual adventures. She is one of those missionary or nothing at all type as well. I also can’t tell her of my exploits because she will leave me and I do not want that. Other than sex our relationship is great.

As far as my bi-ness goes I don’t quite understand where I am with that. I don’t want a relationship from other men only sex and that is it. I have not done anything with another guy for over a year now and my wife never has found out about what I have done and I will take that to my grave with me. However lately I have found this impulse growing inside of me and no matter how I try to repress it the urge gets stronger and stronger to the point I want to branch out of just oral and do other things too. In fact I was thinking of hitting up some of the “cruising” sites on-line try to find a hook up.

Please help!

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-18 15:53 ID:1x1RWZyt

What, the fuck.

Talk to your wife, for fucks sake man. How much of a dickhead are you aiming to be?! You have a problem and you need help with it, this is NOT something you should indulge in, it's something you should kill with fire. Or at least, if you really want to live such a life, but then you at least HAVE to be straight with your WIFE!

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-18 15:56 ID:KQ/n9SpL

This might sound more credible without describing the random gay sex incident you know...especially when the incident is so reminiscent of a badly written online sexstory script.

Anyway, you people here who respect trans-issues, please go at it.

4 Name: 1 : 2006-08-18 16:40 ID:j2KmEyyZ

Well I am not trying to be a jerk or making any of this up at all. I am actually very confused what to do at this point. I don't want to tell m y wife because I don't want to hurt her at all. Like I said other than sex we have a great relationship. However I also have this that I am dealing with and it's extremely hard for me right now.

I'm just confused how am I going to deal with all of this. I'm pretty scared right now.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-18 17:19 ID:1x1RWZyt

>>4

You end up being a jerk and hurt people more than anything when you can't be straight about what you want to be and what you want to do. Don't live in the darkness, either kill what you have there or bring the shit out into the light, personally I suggest the beforementioned alternative.

I don't know you or your wife, but the best thing you can do is approach her as if you have a problem you want help with, be frank, you're sick, you can't think straight and you fucked up. You're putting to much weight on your idea of a giving sex-life, but in the end these are just ideas that have gotten stuck in your head and grown into something ugly because you somehow fail on a more basic level. The causes for things are often quite simple and thats what you need to treat to solve the problem. And it's worth taking up a fight for, because what you have with your wife is more valuable than this shit, don't you agree? You can't hold on to both things because that will in the long run ruin you greatly AND hurt others more than if you openly choose now.

So set your mind straight about what you really want, then be open and honest about it.

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-18 18:47 ID:kBy6kctN

>>1
Friend, I know what you're dealing with.

All my life, I've been brought up to be a straight, God-fearing boy, but now, I find myself in the same situation as you... I'm bi.

I haven't told anyone yet... Perhaps that's sometimes the best way to go about things. Rather than hurting people, (My parents, your wife) sometimes its better if you sort things out first, and decide where you really stand. More than anything, you don't want to do something you'll regret down the road. Just think about it for a while... And as cliché as this may sound, listen to your heart. Weigh your options, then go for it.

I'm rooting for you. :)

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-18 23:44 ID:5YU7kGmz

Bi, transexual, or whatever. I don't care. The fact of the matter is you cheated on your wife. And that's your real problem, not the bi-ness (or whatever you call it).

Bi. That means you may like both sexes. I'm sure your wife is of one of two sexes. So it's not like you can't still maintain your marriage.

8 Name: frigid onanoko : 2006-08-19 00:34 ID:KQ/n9SpL

presuming this is a real problem: I agree with >>5 that by no means does your life have to gravitate around a satisfying sex life. Surely there are other things than pleasuring and receiving pleasure from other men that you can do. Mr 1, if you want your help to exceed crude remarks and mediocre advice, please tell us a few things about yourself. Like such things that make you feel great or happy, excited and free (other than sex-related). On the other hand also tell us a bit more about bigger, smaller problems you may have. If on the other hand you want to go this alone, follow >>6's advice and follow your heart. But remember your heart doesn't dangle between your thighs, it sits in your chest.

If you want to do that, also please take a name here so we can be a bit more personal to you. Frigid onanoko suggesting to you 'Bishonen!' which sort of means beautiful guy and is often the type of character in gay manga. It also has 'bi' inside it.

Frigid Onanoko say goodbye now!

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-19 01:24 ID:1x1RWZyt

>>8

Don't tell a guy like that to follow his heart if you want to help him out. Without a heart full of reeking pus a dick is a relatively harmless thing, but ohboy, once that vicious pump starts working on the limbs of the human body, it becomes a vessel of moral decay.

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-19 05:13 ID:VOzkr+cc

Bisexuality does not exist.

11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-19 05:25 ID:Heaven

lol? proofs or gtfo

12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-19 05:43 ID:LxmtMQD2

Nature made men are women, the so-called 3rd sex is all in the mind. This god-forsaken society made it.

13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-19 05:44 ID:LxmtMQD2

made men and women, typo, tsk tsk tsk...

14 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-19 06:04 ID:1x1RWZyt

>>13

Yes but being in our mind is enough for it to exist, obviously. It wasn't meant to be but here it is nonetheless, we just have to face the facts, wether we like it or not. And personally I don't like it, but my piece of mind is not law, as unfortunate as that may be.

15 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-19 06:07 ID:Heaven

tl;dr

16 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-19 06:25 ID:LxmtMQD2

Buy a dildo and confront your wife.

"Shove this in my ass baby, i'll love you more!" :)

17 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-19 12:22 ID:Heaven

Bi guy walks in after work, catches wife in the kitchen. Drags a black 10" rubber dildo out of a bag and slams it unto the kitchen table, promptly exclaiming: "Tonight, this goes in my ass!"

18 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-20 08:38 ID:rp9dhWle

...I found myself skipping..

I think the real problem lies in the fact that you were skipping.

19 Name: ND : 2007-07-23 01:23 ID:4sDAQCVM

...lol. I would say talk to your wife about it. In fact, some women are actually turned on by the thought of wearing strap-ons while doing their hubbys....a bit bizzare, but nevertheless...good luck to you!

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