What can a photo say? (27)

1 Name: NoPhotoGuy : 2006-08-31 12:53 ID:H53nVm2B

Please help me! There's this girl. We only talked over the phone. I called her last sunday and we talked for more than an hour. I really get to like her, she seems an interesting girl. She's currently away but will be coming back next week. I want to meet her. The problem is that she wants me to send her a photo of myself.
I'm not ugly or anything but I look very different on photos than in real.
Almost every girl had disappeared after I sent a photo, because I'm not the "perfect looking guy" they're searching and they doesn't even bother to meet me...
So, I don't want to lose this girl, I really like her. I'm sure that if we meet, everything will be fine.
But what if I send my photo and then she doesn't want to meet?
Should I send my photo? If yes, should I send some "serious" photo, or some funny shopped pic (like the one I look like Einstein on)? Should I ask her to send a photo first?
And what should I say her if she doesn't want to meet?
Have you had such experience? Please help!

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-31 14:01 ID:/QTEUnt4

Just be honest and say that you look bad in photos. Make a joke out of it and be really confident when you say that you want to meet her in real life. That way you don't seem like you chickening out of anything.

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-31 14:37 ID:FVRH4JJJ

If she goes bitch over a shitty picture who would care about losing her? Seriously, it's like a quality-control for you too.

>>2

You don't say you look bad on photos, you pick out the most useless picture you can find, preferably one where you look like a mongoloid or something and say "Here, this one does me good justice I think". Then you lol.

Secure, relaxed and humorous is an icebreaker with personality, if you do the same about your appearance it will sell good too, even if you're not handsome.

Don't take yourself too seriously, and don't take superficial people seriously. Instead, appeal to peoples laidback side, if they don't have one, don't bother with them. Seriously I have never met one person with good qualities and lack of severe mental issues who has not been cool about stuff like this.

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-09-01 04:28 ID:8W7emVFI

I;m more curious on how this all came about...you just picked up the phone and randomly called someone?

5 Name: NoPhotoGuy : 2006-09-01 08:15 ID:H0dyGyYK

>>4
Nope, there was a radio dating program where they read in introduction SMS messages with the sender's number.
I just picked a few numbers and this girl's was one of them.

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-09-02 07:47 ID:sRWmpuCg

A photo can ruin the image she has conjured up of you. This is one of the major problems with long-distance meeting. People can accept you at first glance, but a photo breaks everything they thought they knew, it contradicts what they've learned. It's difficult to augment it into their imagination.

I think you should put some time into taking a well-lit photo where you look neutral and as like as you do every day. If you tell the truth with the photo in the same way you told the truth when you spoke, then morally you should have no problem.

7 Name: NoPhotoGuy : 2006-09-03 20:57 ID:srSPU3so

Well, I found a recent photo of myself which was taken on a holiday. It's a little dark and has a calm town street in the background. I shopped it a little to make it look better and sent it to the girl.
She was on a short holiday and she told me she'll send me an SMS when they get back and she did send me one right after they passed the country border. Shall I consider this as a good sign?
I called her today too and we talked for half an hour. She said she can check her email for the photo tomorrow and will send a photo of herself.
She talked a lot and was very cheerful. She talked about where they were on holiday, she asked about my ideal girl type. I told her I like long haired girls and girls who wear glasses (she has glasses too). She told me she don't like "macho" type guys (which I'm not) and so.
I just hope we can meet soon.
I think things are going well, but I'm still afraid a little of the photo...

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-09-03 22:44 ID:Lg7TF4Cw

About that you can consider as a good sign.

Why don't you try to meet her instead of just sending a photo ?

9 Name: NoPhotoGuy : 2006-09-03 23:07 ID:srSPU3so

>>8
Like I wrote in the first post, she is currently away. She lives 200 km away but she studies here on the university. She'll come back for the new semester on th 7th, so I can meet her next weekend. But she asked for a photo, and I didn't want to look like an idiot so I didn't refuse it.

10 Name: 8 : 2006-09-04 14:22 ID:awkYsF3R

I see.
I'm sorry for my mistake.
By the way, have you sent her your photo already? How about her respond? Is that ok?

Good luck, Photoman

11 Name: NoPhotoGuy : 2006-09-04 18:28 ID:srSPU3so

Well, she replied to my email, but didn't write anything, just sent me a picture of herself... Not a hot chick, but she's ok. Kinda looks like my mom. :P
I sent her an SMS but I got no response yet. I just hope that this doesn't mean that she dislikes me because of my photo.
Tomorrow is her birthday. I'm planning to send her an MMS greeting message, but should I call her tonight?

12 Name: NoPhotoGuy : 2006-09-05 19:16 ID:srSPU3so

I sent her the MMS message. She replied and thanked it, she said that it's so cute. :)
We talked tonight and she was cheerful again. Looks like she doesn't want to turn me down.
She said she may have time on sunday so we can meet. Boy, I just can't wait...

13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-09-06 12:21 ID:Heaven

So like, did you take the advice from this thread?

14 Name: NoPhotoGuy : 2006-09-06 22:16 ID:srSPU3so

Thank you guys, I think I'm on the right track. She didn't take any remarks at my photo.
I had a long day at work today, I didn't have much time to call her. I came home late and I was tired. But she sent me a message just to say "sweet dreams" :) Looks like she's interested in me too.

15 Name: NoPhotoGuy : 2006-09-07 17:57 ID:srSPU3so

Oh no! I called her again and talked about various things, but there's something that concerns me: she said something like "I don't have a boyfriend for more than a year now and I don't see much chances to get one"
Does this mean that I'm in her "friend only" zone and she'll never treat me as a possible boyfriend? :( I hope not!

16 Name: TokyoJapan22 : 2006-09-07 23:53 ID:MZcAd+KU

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Why else do you think she told you she's single!!!!! This only means she has interest in you! When someone tells you their single and you happen to get along with that person, she basically is trying to get you to ask her out! Sooo Dumb!

17 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-09-08 03:28 ID:BS9ErLpx

If any girl ever said that to me and I liked her, I would ask her out on the spot, friend zone be damned.

18 Name: NoPhotoGuy : 2006-09-12 16:11 ID:srSPU3so

Well, she is history. :(
We met on saturday. I went to her apartment. I helped with her computer, then we watched a movie together. Everything seemed fine.
Then, she didn't answer my calls. I tried to call her several times, I sent an SMS, got no reply.
Then, I came home today and saw her on MSN. I ashed her "what's this all about" She just thorow me "you're not my type".
Bah, girls are so SHALLOW!
And she was the one who told me that one should always be honest even if it hurts the other... Well this way it hurts me more...
I asked her, what was wrong about me... she said "you didn't notice that I was tired, even if I yawned so much" - well, that's just a shallow excuse.
I want to change but I must know what's wrong with me...
Anyway, she was just one of those shallow girls who only interesed by good looks and money.

I regret that I wasted a lot of money calling her... my phone bill will be twice the usual amount...

19 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-09-12 20:08 ID:dAST1qoV

They will rarely ever tell you what exactly you did wrong. Essentialy they figure that if you can't figure it out, you don't deserve anyone. That is what I have observed.

20 Name: TokyoJapan22 : 2006-09-12 22:23 ID:AvEjgxRl

Oh well.......some girls, they trick you, some just use you, and some do it for fun. I know how it feels........But what if the whole thing was just a test? I've seen girls talk and they keep chatting about what to do when they meet a guy and all.

21 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-09-13 00:53 ID:qjdDWGc1

>>18

so what, you want her to lie? you want this chick to keep stringing you along so you can run your phone bill up, thinking you've got a chance when you don't? don't be such a pussy. take the pain, say "fuckit" and move on.

22 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-09-13 10:14 ID:Heaven

>>18
She was harsh, but at least she made it clear before she totally used you.

>>she said "you didn't notice that I was tired, even if I yawned so much"

How did you not pick that up? Yawning is pretty strong body language..

23 Name: NoPhotoGuy : 2006-09-13 18:17 ID:srSPU3so

>>21
No, I just wanted her to tell the truth right on the spot! If I'm not her type, then it's ok, but she should have told me after the date or later when I called her.
Instead of this, she didn't want to answer the calls and I needed to MSN her to get the answer out of her. I'm fed up with this kind of attitude...

>>22

> How did you not pick that up? Yawning is pretty strong body language..

Well, call me dumb but I didn't figure out that she wanted me to leave... Somebody please give me a girl language decrypter. :P
Anyway, I doubt that this was the real reason, she just needed to tell something...
She probably had issues with my face... or maybe she wanted me to run her down on the occasion.

24 Name: Secret Admirer 0956 : 2006-09-13 23:12 ID:haJIPpE3

Ouch. Pretty fucked up story. In my opinion the only way to really meet girls is face to face so both of you know what's poppin. Talking to girls online is fine if you've hung out with them in real life a bit, but if you're just talking online and haven't met then everything said is really shit until you do, because people are not the same in real life. This goes for the phone as well. This is just my opinion and probably off topic but I don't care.

All I can say is better luck next time and good thing the ugly bitch didn't lead you on.

25 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-09-14 05:56 ID:Heaven

Did you ever think it doesn't have to do with your looks? It's easy to blame her and call her shallow, but the truth is ugly people hook up all the time. You can't change your face, but you can change your attitude.

When I went out with a guy (yes I am a girl yeah yeah) he spent the whole time making really, REALLY stupid jokes and putting his arms all over me. Then he says I don't like him because of his looks (he looks fine) or his nerdy hobbies (I am more of a nerd then him). The real reason is our personalities didn't mesh at all.

Though in the end he moved on and has gf while I'm still single, lol. So I guess he found someone who likes his stupid jokes, you just have to find someone who's personality goes well with yours.

26 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-09-14 06:26 ID:Qlm4AkD3

Most likely you are not physically appealing to her. If that is what you think is what is wrong with you, then it is most likely. Girls/women won't tell that truth to you. But my impression on this, is that you don't look the type she wants of a guy.

Looks is very important, shallow or not, everyone wants a mate that looks appealing.

If you think you don't look attractive, then it most likely true, there are no other opinion about yourself that is closer to the truth than yours.

It much harder for guys to get girls than the other way around. Girls gets it easy. Girls just wait for guys to come to them and then they choose, and even have the chance to play them, if they are bored with them, they just dump them.

It depends, if the guy is handsome, then it is very easy. Life is easy when you are beautiful. Life would be a hell if you are otherwise.

27 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-09-14 14:15 ID:Heaven

You say this like you fit into the description of physically attractive.

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