Not that I don't love you guys, I cannot accept the fact that I am coming back here. I hoped this would just be a temporary venue and one day I will be free of its bondage. And I think for that I thought like that, God decided to spite my arrogance and ended it with her. Man this is rough, but I will live. Usually when I have a problem I would go to her, she would listen, but now I really don't have one, except my best friend who is also suffering a similar heartbreak.

I really don't want to come back home, I have been to the top of the mountain and quite frankly I loved it; I loved her. I never told her that...Right now I am holding myself back from finding her and shouting at the top of my lungs 'I LOVE YOU' Won't do me any good. I know she loves me but due to circumstances, due to social context, due to religious beliefs she does not want any of it. I say FUCK IT, but it will not do me any good. The problems she has will never leave and thus we can never be together. To all you guys out there looking for love, I wish you the best on your journeys, for this old sailor will be taking a break from the sea. Any advice I can give you, ask but looking at my recent success, don't count on it being good.