I am in the 4th week of summer school and I can't force myself to give up. I came into college thinking life for me would be better, turns out it is only worse. I find it more difficult to just even maintain contact with a girl, let alone get to know one. I checked my phone and I only have 2 numbers that are girls out of the 25 in it. Mentally I have given up, I know that I will be single my whole life. My heart still has some fight left it in, and I know I can't stop it but I certainly don't have to listen to it.

My heart has fallen for this one girl in my class, and I am counting down the days until classes is over so I can just forget about her. She is smart, outgoing, very social and talkative, beautiful, basically everything I am not. And she is very nice, one of the kindest person I have ever met. I think the only reason I fell for her is because she was the only person in a long time who has come up to me on a consistent basis and ask how my day has been. I think the only reason I like her is because she is the only girl who gives me any sort of attention.

orz why must you torture me?